Yes, it can be overwhelming. I found a diet coach here, but then she got pregnant a while back and that was the end of that. We called each other, for the short time we did it, every Sun morning. Now I'm just letting this site suffice for my coach. If I had a lot more $, I would definitely seek out a therapist or a life coach or a diet coach to help me thru it, but it's not in the budget now.

Hello everyone,

welcome GinaXOXO -I had forgot about the workbook-can't believe it is so close to oct already. I think I'll go ahead and get one. Sound like you have a good start to the book. Do you like the workbook? anyone else got it?l

Would love to go to a professional cognitive therapist-currently a luxury I can't afford. I tried a couple of friends as coaches with mixed success-really like this group-sensitive folks, nonjudgemental, great suggestions and supportive-don't get the glazed bored look which some of friends and family can get when once again I speak of losing weight. Also others postings here help me re-focus. Plus I like posting late at night when alone.

Biil- you are right about all the paper work-In the past I used fitday for both pre and post recording and journaling. But now I doing the WW point count. Now I just do the tasks and record the info in the book and use a notepad for daily food pre and post recording and throw away the info after I finish the day. The little cards I set about the house.

I have periods of not using the book and not losing weight. Didn't gain but ate just enought to not lose. I am back doing the tasks and really like reading about the sabotaging thoughts. I hop about the book a bit depending on what I need to focus on-Really dealing with strong cravings-review all the possible anti craving activities-even got a free jigsaw puzzle. I can focus on one task for days and have to often repeated stuff over and over again.

I have having 3 friends up to to have a birthday celebrating weekend.-we all love wine and Martinis., good food.-The food I am ok with-alots of fish and veggies, it is the wine and martini that worry me.-along with any sweet treats they may brings. I'll be doing those chapter about social eating, -have to fight the monkey see, monkey eats and drinks pattern.

My focus and resolve does fluctuate alot but slowly I go down I average about 5 lb a month-I do find Beck ideas help me to get back on track verus beating myself up. Since I do need to lose 150-I would like to quicker.

good luck to all
sue
ps I am on day 4 of staying within the ww points. Today I am a mere 324.

GinaXOXO - Thanks for the info. I'm going to peek at
www.beckdietsolution.com

[Note that "solution" is singular - there is no 's']

Tonight I got out my Beck Solution Book. I was asked earlier what I think of the workbook. It was hard to compare because it has been a while since I looked at the book. Now that I have looked at it I can tell you that I like the workbook better, hands down. The book is too wordy for me. The workbook tells me what I need to do and why and has places for me to fill out my thoughts, daily tasks, journal, etc. I ended up putting the book down. I am having a hard time with eating slowly so I thought I would get more help from the book. I didn't. I just got more words. That said, I still think the intro chapters are great and they are not in the workbook.

I hope this helps someone!

Gina

PS does anyone have etherapy or online coaching? I still haven't heard from Beck and have to admit that is a red flag. It has been 3 days since I first asked for more information. Is there any other online coaching?

Gina - Again, thanks for the info about the workbook. Think I'll stick with the book, at least until I get started.

I think the checklists are a partridge in a pear tree type of thing. Each program-day, the list gets one item longer. If I dawdle for a week on one program-day, I reuse that list until I progress (e.g. repeat up to Five golden rings each day). For me it might work to make an Excel spreadsheet where I insert a check each day. That would help force me to read the list each day.

Some steps will be easy for me (e.g. Sitting down to eat) and some are going to be difficult (specifically, NO CHOICE on a spontaneously available food option). For example, A few weeks ago, the local Whole Foods grand opening was serving a sample raw oyster on the half shell. I'm trying to work out just why I would want to apply the NO CHOICE rule to that oyster rather than slurp it down and adjust the calories (60) elsewhere.

Hey Everyone,

I'm so glad to see our thread so full of life! I just did a quick catch-up reading, and found out the workbook is out! I'm going over to Amazon to order it right now.

I have the 4-Day Win but I must say I've been so busy with family issues that I've only read the first chapter. I like what I've read though. It is filled with humor and introspection (always appealing to me) and the bit about the "famine brain" that we create when we deprive ourselves really hit home.

Bill, your patridge in a pear tree analogy is SO right. The TBDS tasks add on to one another in such a way that I had time for little else when I was trying to do them all, and became overwhelmed sometimes with the sheer number of checklists and readings that I was trying to fit into an already insanely busy life.

Like you Sue, I need to get back to square one with the book. I don't have it with me on my trip (I brought T4DW instead) but I need to pull it back out when I get home.

Tina and Girly, I'm feelin' ya on that work-stress-eating. Things are really coming to a head on my job and I'm literally counting the days until I can leave. That has led to some food choices that I really regret now even though I felt helpless at the time I ate them.

Hey Maryblu and Veronica!

Welcome back Gina! Were you here back in May when I started? I recognize you from somewhere on the board...

Well, more later. Gotta go do family stuff in a minute.

L

Hello all,

Liannie-so good to hear from you again. Hope you work stress soon changes for the better-sure sounds like you are ready for the change. My ex-husband motto was the only thing worst than looking for job is finding one.

Gina thanks so much for the info on the workbook, I also have my order-may be on back order for a week or so.

Bill- I really understand the response to the NoChoice card. Can't I do some modest spondaneous eating and then cut back in another way? This is how my thinner friends actually operate. I guess it can be a slippery slope for addictive types -like me. Going from modest treat to mindless treats has happened to me. But that is where recording everything helps-because then I note I had xx number of cals and then will cut back that day to stay within the planned number of cals or pnts.

How do the rest of you folks balance the No Choice card and real life?

Starting tomorrow it will be the very toughest for me to remain on my eating plan-company spending 2 nights with us-for a birthday party, drinking buddies, I know some techiques-to cut back on eating and drinking but I think this is one of the primo times for my sabotaging attitude and thoughts to rule.
1. It is a party-enjoy
2. Special chance to see everyone-everyone lives 4 hrs away-enjoy
3 Honestly i like the effects of a bit of wine-so relaxing-enjoy
4. I'll be back eating correctly on Monday.
5. Life is short-enjoy
6. It is not fair that I can't do what everyone else is doing.

Overeating is associated with enjoyment/relaxment in my mind. When I am at home doing the normal routines I am OK but during social events, eating out, traveling all the above crops up. Any ideas dealing with these primal but unhealthy attitude?

I am working on new association that overeating-leads to obesity then arthritis-pain-rotten mobility-very limited physical activities. I want less pain and to do more fun things-

In the past when I tried the Beck site-I could not get anything that was interactive. It seemed like I could just read about others prolems and the suggestions to deal with them.

Girly I still have other Beck book on order from the library-It sounds valuable also. This ww still seems to be working for me.

Hi to veryone- Veronica, Tina, and MN Maryblu

sue

L: I think I was here when I was going through the book. You have a great memory!

BlueEyes: I agree that some steps are harder than others. Picking the diet was easy, sitting down is easy, but planning and slowing down are very hard for me. I switched my watch to remind myself to slow down. It worked but now my watch is getting a lot of attention!! LOL

Sue; make a response card. Here is what I did with the first one. Really think about it and then make a decision. Make sure you decide how you are going to handle it before the party begins.

Response card: It is a party so enjoy:

Yes it is a party and I can enjoy it but how much more would I enjoy next years birthday party if I were fit and full of energy and felt good about myself. Each time I demonstrate self-control I will strengthen my motivation and self-control and perseverance. If, instead, I decide to throw caution to the wind I am giving more power to throwing in the towel.


I have come to a decision that some of you might disagree with. I am looking back at my weight history and wonder if I am better off allowing myself a little flexibility. When I looked back and thought about the times I lost weight and kept it off I realized I have never lost weight by being perfect.

I think in terms of all or nothing but that didn't apply to exercise. I never quit even on days when my diet wasn't going well. Fast forward to today and if I can't diet perfectly I don't exercise either. I am going to allow myself a few extra points. If I go over--so what. I am darn sure that being 5 points over today is a lot better than I would be doing if I were "off" a diet today.

What I think is dawning on me is that I don't have to be perfect. If today I use 28 points instead of 25 that I did not fail. I did a lot of things right and went over a bit. A few points doesn't ruin the day. The same is true if I don't have the 5 fruit and vegetables, or if I don't have healthy oil today. The good still outweight the bad and all-in-all I have made progress toward losing weight and becoming healthier.

My thinking before was that I wasn’t successful if I:

Used unplanned flex points
ate red meat
Didn’t get all 8 WW healthy guidelines (fruit, healthy oil, etc)
Ate junk food—somehow I thought I could change everything but my eating patterns and preferences can’t change overnight and I need to be patient and forgiving.
Went over on points

I think I became rigid because I felt WW are the experts and I thought I had to follow it to the “T”. Now I am think that is it too much for me. Too overwhelming. I am an individual and need to acknowledge that I still like chocolate and going out for a burger and fries and I really don't want a salad—I know WW says I can do that but I have always thought that was meant for people who could be perfect—like me!! (:

So, if I go out and have a buger and fries I need to really think about it and figure out if I can use less points throughout the day or go for a long walk and earn some activity poins. Instead of getting a big burger and fries I can get a children's meal. If I apply this to everything and make better choices instead of feeling like I have to be perfect I might be able to have more success.

Am I taking a step in the right direction or is this against what the Beck Solution teaches?? I am not saying that I am not going to try to eat within my points but that I am ok with going over--I haven't failed.

Gi

Hey everyone! Hope your week is finishing up okay!

Regarding the NO CHOICE card, I'm not finding that one to be very helpful either. I am finding my meal plan helpful, but I have to admit that I use it more for a guide than a strict plan. If I'm not hungry for one snack I don't eat it and I may insert that food somewhere else in the day or something fairly comprable. I think the saying "Oh Well" to things that I sort of want or to the "unfair" feeling is a lot more helpful. And Gina, I think the "Oh Well" applies to forgiving yourself about unplanned or not strictly within WW guidelines eating as well. I'm finding it easier to just move on and not dwell on it. But I do think the eating plan/food tracking helps keep me in check because it's a very slippery slope for me to move from occasional treat or slip to really bad eating habits. So there's my rambly thoughts for the night!

Hi

Gina Your comments about the response resonated with me for not overdoing it this weekend. -yup I do want to be healthier next year. thanks,
Veronica I can deal with Oh well much better than No Choice also.
Gina- I understand the issues of being perfect-I am a very harsh critic on myself. Also there is so much advice out there and much of it isn't good. WW is a program-not perfect, many folks either drop out or regain-me often over the last 30+yrs. I remember in the 70's doing ww, I wanted to have whole wheat bread verus white bread and the leader said "eat the white we don't allow that hippie wheat bread". It certainly much better than those years.
For me the greatest help is awareness-When I record and measure what I eat-that is the best help when making choices-When on the road the other day I did have a happy meal at a fast food place- not that nutrious-but quick, hot and not super super caloric-( no veggies or fruit either) I did count the pnts for the day. Some days I trade pnts in for wine, other days i eat only very low fat stuff and veggies, i do allow flexibilty but if I stop losing, I get more rigid. I just need to not let the addictive behaviors to gain control again. Beck is great when my total calorie count is getting higher or when I start feel that I am eating complusively and I want to stop an addictive response.

My losing weight really has come due to changing of habits, this has been very slow but I feel the changes are permanent. Go at a rate that is good for you and feel good about what you are doing.

sue

Liannie - Your reference to the "famine brain" makes me want to read the T4DW book. That's what I need to avoid - the trigger that tells me "all rules are off".

Sue - Good luck with your guests this weekend. Like the way you state the conflict between spontaneous and the slippery slope. Would like to think that your rigorous recording of food eaten should suffice to avoid the slope.

Gina - Yep, avoiding the perfect trap is important for me. My goal isn't to avoid gaining a pound this week; my goal is to avoid gaining it all back because I quit eating mindfully. I know offhand some 10 people who gained it all back, and can only think of one who kept it all off.

Veronica - Using Oh Well for a shortfall seems good to me. This football analogy works for me: you lose 5 yards this play, it's just second and 15. I know how to play from second and 15. It's NOT time to quit. In football, every play is designed to be a touchdown, but every winning game has a bunch of winning plays and a bunch of losing plays.

Got to try out some Beck yesterday at a group lunch. Ordering was easy because I knew in advance that the menu included Portobello Stack, two portobello mushrooms grilled with tomatoes and a small amount of smoked mozzarella cheese served over white beans and arugula - unbelievably good and a perfect fit for my food plan. So my goal was to avoid the tempting sesame crackers with butter in advance as well as the New England Clam Chowder appetizer. Sat for a loooooooooooooong time as those crackers were consumed by my friends. So, I practiced OK to be hungry on those, and Oh Well on the chowder. Both worked !!! Then I congratulated myself for good food choices. That was helpful also.

No one was interested that I wasn't eating the crackers. They were pretty focused on getting as many for themselves as they could.

Perhaps I would have done the same thing without Beck. But I did feel more secure with some tools in my pocket to support my goals. An additional level of security to stay on maintenance is just what I'm looking for with Beck.

Note to self: Good start - way to go guy !!!

Quick Hello to All,

I'm jumping on a plane back home today and hopefully a return to "normal" life (whatever that is). I ordered TBDS workbook and hope to be returning to a more structured following of the techniques with the workbook in tow.

Sue, good luck with the weekend. I must say I've strayed a bit this trip due to social pressure and for every reason you listed.

Gina, I agree that you need to be flexible in order to be successful. I think trying to be perfect sets up a certain inner tension that ultimately leads to stress-eating, don't you? I know I've been most successful when I've allowed myself to let "real life" change things up here and there. After all, it's "real life" we're going to have to deal with in trying to keep the weight off, right?

Bill, GOOD JOB on the crackers and soup! Great way to go guy! It's funny how you described your friends too busy gobbling those crackers to care that you didn't get any. Most of the time, that's how it is.

Everyone else, HEY THERE! I'll holler back when I get home from California.

Hey, where is Girly?

L

Veronica: I think having a plan is so helpful. For me, if I don't having something in mind when I get home I end up doing one of the many things that hurts my weight loss (order out, snack, etc.) Even though you aren't always using your plan just having it has to be helping. Is it helping you?

Sue: I am glad it helped. Have a great birthday weekend! I think I will make sure to keep working on awareness (great advice by the way). I think I am losing but it is TOM so I stay off the scale. Hopefully, it works or I will have to get more rigid.

Bill, you did fantastic yesterday! It is funny how no one even notices that you aren't eating as much or drinking as much. It use to be a problem for me until I realized no one really cares!! LOL Where on earth are you from that you have that kind of food on the menu? I am from Iowa and it is hard to find anything healthy on our menus.

Lianne, I can't wait to see what you think of the workbook! I think you are right that it does add unnecessary tensions trying to be perfect. I am going to listen to the advice above and stay aware but that is my only goal--25 points is only something to measure my hunger and intake. I will give that a week to gauge if it is working. If it is, that is my "real life" plan. Have a good trip home!

I am doing pretty good. I have to give myself credit for some of my food choices yesterday. I can see that I really need to shut of my eating at 7:30. This is something I just started after watching Oprah and Bob Greene and I think it has decreased my snacking a lot. Last night I kind of forgot. Not tonight!!

Motivation is not something that comes from "out there" and isn't something you naturally do or don't have. Motivation comes from doing. The strength of my motivation gets stronger each time I make a good choice just as my motivation weakens when I give in a throw in the towel.

Gina

Hey, y'all.......

I have been taking more wisdom from y'all than giving, but if there is ONE THING I KNOW...it is that "perfection or nothing" mentality about dieting is the biggest trap, the #1 downfall of ANYTHING else. I think Beck does a great job of debunking that....but, man, why do we DO THAT?? As I read the posts on this site...all the questions about this diet or that, is this "allowed"??..as if one little bit of Splenda, or WHATEVER, can make or break a diet and success.

I so agree with "better, not perfect" and being grateful for what we have accomplished. I am about 10 #s heavier this fall than last, but yesterday I went up the big hill in a park near me (fall ritual) for the first time this fall. Last fall, I remeber the first time up was a little bit of a challenge; I soon got conditioned and could go up and down with ease and 3 years ago, I was going up and down 3 times in succession........this year, I went up it for the first time yesterday with ease, danced on top..yes...great joy...dance on top of a hill overlooking lakes and communing with the eagles... and was so energized I went down and back up again, and danced some more...I am more fit this fall than last....then after that, I gardened all afternoon and then went for a horseback ride.....OK, I was stiff this morning and slept in, but, still, I am GRATEFUL ............

...and so I overate today...lol....better, not perfect.