Hi again joesgirl,
In 2005, my youngest son, age 17, was killed in a car accident. I was here at my parents' place, taking care of my mom who was dying when it happened. For about a month, I was so upset I could hardly eat and when I did, I'd usually throw up...but then they put me on a medication and I gained 60 lbs...even though I was barely eating.
I agree, you should not call yourSELF disgusting....but when it comes to how the weight gain affected my self-esteem...it is what it is....and really made me feel horrible about my appearance. Not myself but my appearance. I kept thinking WHY, after all this other stuff happening, do I now have to deal with THIS? Thinking...it's not fair.
But over time, my oldest son got engaged (and they plan to have children) and my middle son got a girlfriend......and I actually started thinking about the future. My weight had me basically frozen in time....I couldn't look forward. And for some reason, suddenly looking forward, for a change...I was determined to look better at my son's wedding (in Aug. of 2010). And if you're really determined...and get in the right mind-set...you CAN do it. And it WILL make you feel a whole lot better. I sure do.
deena
