Gosh, trying to think how to make a long story short here. I'm 57 and have always struggled with my weight and been on many different diets over the years. But about 20 years ago, used the Atkins diet to lose 30 lbs. and was able to maintain for many years. But 4 years ago, after losing a child in an accident, I was put on medication and gained 60 lbs. in about a year and a half. It totally altered my metabolism and I was miserable.
So, I went off the medication but repeated attempts at Atkins failed and I could not figure out why it wouldn't work. Finally, I began to research on the internet and learned that my use of artificial sweeteners could be the problem. 20 years ago, I could use artificial sweeteners and the diet still worked fine but apparently, with my now altered metabolism, I could not. So, I drastically reduced to only 3 packs of splenda/day and voila, the diet finally worked again. I've lost 31 lbs. in a little over 5 months but still have 29 lbs. to go and would love to be able to do this by August for my oldest son's wedding....that's my dream.
I have a bit of a stressful life as I'm caring for my elderly father 24/7 and have found comfort reading here for quite some time. I've become quite interested in following many of the stories here. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've found this comforting familiarity, coming here to read the progress of many of you...probably because I've been more or less hiding here, with my additional 60 lbs, for several years and now I'm finally moving forward but doing it totally on my own, due to my circumstances here with my dad, and finally got up the courage to register and introduce myself because I would love the support of others who are in the same struggle.
Sorry for that ridiculously long sentence...but that's it, in a nutshell.
Wow, I just looked at your progress pictures and your transformation is just amazing. You look fantastic. I can't imagine the perseverance it must take to do what you have.
When I've read many of the stories here about the amazing amounts of weight people have lost, it really motivates me to stick with it. For me, 60 extra lbs., especially at my height, seemed like a nightmare. I was over 20 lbs. more than I'd been when pregnant. I couldn't believe it. It seemed like a huge, almost impossible amount to lose. I'd never had to lose that much. The 30 lbs. I'd needed to lose 20 years ago seemed easy in comparison. I felt really overwhelmed this time.
But when I read the stories here, something clicked. I became determined to do this, starting with figuring out why I was having so much trouble. It took me a lot of research and then trial and error but I finally hit on the problem with the sweeteners and I get my main motivation from coming here and reading. If others can do it....so can I.
Hi Deena52! Sounds like you're off to a great start - congrats on your success so far!
Glad to have you join us! There are lots & lots of different groups and forums - I'm sure you'll find some that will keep you motivated, inspired and entertained!
There are bunches of people here with more to lose and some with less - the bottom line is that we all have to do it a day at a time. The good thing is that we'll have lots of company along the way.
So many of us understand how loss and stress can affect our lives - derailing us from our path, sometimes for years - it can almost feel like a comfort to be apart and alone - but we're really hiding like you said - I took care of my invalid mother for years, gaining weight the whole time and often using her as the excuse for not living my life but that was not completely true - it was a way to stay the same and not face my own issues. But luckily we move on eventually and here we are!
I've only been here a short time myself, having NEVER been part of an online forum. What has been so eye-opening is how much it has helped me. Whenever I feel overwhelmed or defeated, I just log on and read some of the success stories, complete with their before & after photos - or read about others still dealing day to day with their challenges - and before I know it, the time has flown by and so have all the thoughts of cheating or giving up.
So welcome aboard - join in by inspiring us and being inspired!
P.S. I'm doing low calorie/low carb too - there's some sweetners that don't reek havoc with our diets - erythritol and mannitol don't affect insulin levels like a lot of others do so I try to make sure these are in the "sugar free" foods I eat.
leeway, I honestly believe that somehow, my metabolism became so altered that my body recognizes all artificial sweeteners as sugar. On the Atkins forum here, I read some interesting information in one of the stickies, explaining how and why this can happen to some people.
It almost was similar to trying to deposit a bad check in the bank. Somehow, the body perceives that it's getting carbs just due to sensing the sweetness...and therefore, releases stored glucagen (I think this was the term....stored carb/sugar), thinking it's soon to be replaced. But then learns later that it was not actually getting a new infusion of carb/sugar....and there are negative consequences (you gain instead of lose...can't remember the exact physiologic explanation of the consequence).
However, once I figured this out....the diet began to work. And I've noticed that by doing a longer and more drawn-out induction, I can very slowly introduce a few things (nuts, etc.) without slowing the ketosis.
I'm sorta doing a scientific experiment with my metabolism here more or less....using trial and error...tracking every new addition by tracking effect on ketosis. My impression is that my metabolism is improving and becoming more efficient....but very, very slowly. Whereas years ago, it was so simple....back when my metabolism was fine.
But....if you want this bad enough...which I definitely did/do....you have to figure out how to make it work. I'm just so grateful to have ANY metabolism now after having lost it. Before that, I totally took it for granted. Thought dieting was a sacrifice. But now, I'm SO thrilled that I even CAN diet....that I feel lucky, not like I'm making a sacrifice this time....if that makes any sense.
I spent two years, at least, doing Atkins...over and over....and could NOT get it to work again. Spent many nights crying in frustration....thinking my metabolism was just shot and there was nothing I could do and I was stuck at this weight.
When I finally figured out what the problem was....and actually saw those ketone sticks turn color...FINALLY....I wanted to shriek with joy. I can't even tell you. Just to have some control back....to know that I still HAVE a metabolism...I can't even describe it.
This time around, the dieting is so easy....because I'm just so grateful now that I CAN diet. You never realize how lucky you are until you lose something....changes your whole perspective.
Heck, I lost my youngest child 4 years ago....and if I could manage to live through that, I can think I can almost conquer anything at this point in my life. I guess sometimes you really have to go through suffering to realize how lucky you are and gain your power back again.
Hi Deena52,
I want to thank you for making the decision to come on and share your story. Now your successes can inspire others. And you know from your own experience that it really works! Its great to see people's progress. You are halfway to your goal and going strong =)
I'm new on here too, and just starting out. That 60 pounds at our height seems like a mountain =/ but your story has motivated me! I feel very inspired!
jazzang~because I'm so short (and short-waisted) I wear men's pants...levi's jeans and cords and with the extra 60 lbs. I was so uncomfortable in clothes and could barely bend over to tie my shoes without holding my breath. I would change into loose, elastic-waist lounging stuff as soon as I would get home because I was so uncomfortable in clothing. I could barely fit into 38 waist jeans.
Today...I fit into my son's old 34 waist jeans...and it's so funny because suddenly, my neighbor stopped me because I guess it made enough of a difference (pants that fit) that she noticed the weight loss. I'd tried them on because my 36 waist ones would fit right out of the dryer but then be hanging on me in about an hour....and I'd bought 3 pair at Goodwill not long ago and can't believe they almost don't fit me now....so I'm gonna rummage through my son's closet to see if there are any more old pairs of 34's or I need to go back to Goodwill. This was such a great day....now my neighbor wants a copy of the Atkin's Induction plan.
It's so funny with women....nothing sells a diet like success. I got the feeling when I started it that she wasn't interested in Atkin's and suddenly, she's very interested in it. I'm hoping it works great for her too. She made my day today......that....plus fitting in these pants.
Woohoo! I finally feel relatively "normal"......and not grotesque anymore!!
I feel so happy today.
Well, this morning the scale said 161.5 which kinda stunned me but it may be due to the fact that earlier in the week, I didn't really eat all the food I was supposed to...due mainly to stress. There is a co-worker at my son's job who has that H1N1 virus and my son got sick last week and just returned to work yesterday, and I sorta got myself into a bit of a panic, worrying that he might have H1N1. It didn't help that there was someone in the state who died of it in the headlines of the local paper almost every day he was sick. I am still trying to find out if the 17 year old boy who died in NJ had the virus (as they are suspecting).
Just to show you how sick the mind can be when it comes to weight issues, though.....my dad is going to get the vaccine as soon as his doctor has it available. And he'd asked me if I wanted one.....and immediately I thought, "no, if I get it, maybe I'll lose a bunch of weight". How sick is that?
I remember getting a serious flu back in the 80's and dropping 15 lbs. in one week. It was one of those where you can't get off the couch and can't keep anything down....and I mean anything. Of course, I was ravenous, once I recovered....and gained it back rather quickly. But I remember, I had to rifle through the closet to find a smaller nursing uniform....to go back to work.
So I went back to the closet last evening, just to double-check to see what size men's levi jeans I was wearing at 195 lbs. and it was 40" waist, not 38". I can't even believe it. I can't remember looking in the mirror even one time at that weight, I was so disgusted with myself. I have been searching to see if I have ANY photos of myself at that weight...so that I will be able to post a "before" and "after" when I reach goal....and I could only find one photo at my half-sister's wedding....where you can only see my face (I was sitting at a table with other people in the shot) and another one at my sister's during Thanksgiving several years ago. I'm not altogether sure if I weighed 195 in that one, however, as I'm not sure what exact year it was. I was definitely very heavy....but it's the only full body shot I have so it's gonna have to be the one I use (if I can figure out how to scan it in....will have to get my son to help me...hoping he has a scanner at work, possibly).
At any rate....I was in jeans (possibly the 40" waist ones) and in this huge men's shirt (I went and bought about 8 of them in Goodwill to hide/swathe myself in), standing next to one of my sisters and my half-sister, who were clearly quite slim and trim next to me. I went over to that same sister's house yesterday for a bit and now I'm slimmer than she is (she's gained a bit since that photo was taken.....also due to meds she's on).
My goal of 135 is my dream....I usually fluctuated around 140 most of my adult life. To me, a size 10 is extremely tiny (also a size 32" waist men's levi's)....but I have really big peasant bones and can carry quite a bit of weight. 135 at 5'4" still sounds a bit high, right? But on me, due to my big bones, I look great, weight-wise. I'll show you photos when I finally get there. You should see my hands....chunky peasant hands, not the nice slim, trim hands people with with less heavy frames have.
Oh, and the 34" waist jeans I found in the closet were the only ones in there so it's off to the thrift store for me to get a few more pairs as soon as I get a chance. I regret getting 4 pairs of size 36" inch ones recently...I didn't think I'd fit into the 34's so soon. In fact, still in the 160's, I really should not be fitting into them....but I think it's due to the fact that on Atkin's, you burn fat and lose inches differently.....and somehow, even at this weight, they are fitting me. But this messed-up my pants-buying schedule. My plan was off by about a month or more.
My first mini-goal is to look presentable (normal) at Thanksgiving this year. We have a very large family and I cook for 30-40 every year and have since about 1980....it's a tradition now. So of course, all the women check each other out...to see who's gained and who's lost. I'd imagine most women do this at annual family gatherings. Normally, I'd be dreading Thanksgiving approaching and having to show up heavy, yet again. It's so great to not be stressing terribly over that this year.
My ultimate goal after that is to have reached goal in time for my oldest son's wedding in August (2010). The photo I have where I'm sitting at the table at my half-sister's wedding reception was definitely me at 195 lbs...only you can only see my head/face. I distinctly remember going out shopping to try and find something to wear for that, as nothing dressy in my closet came close to fitting me. And I had a heck of a time trying to find something....took me hours. I remember the sheer misery of trying things on in the dressing room. I finally found something...which I hated...but fit me. These huge black pants and this huge black top with some sort of leopard-type trim...ugh....but it fit and hid most of me, so I got it. My dream is to wear something lovely for the wedding. I have a beautiful, beautiful suit...back at the house (I'm separated...live with my dad and middle son) and it's a size 10 and I got it years ago, drastically reduced at Lord & Taylor's......I might even wear that. It's been so long since it's fit me and I always felt fabulous in it. I can't wait.
Last edited by Deena52; 10-27-2009 at 11:54 AM.
Reason: correct an error
Hi Deena, I replied to you on my newbie post. Thought I'd come in here to say hi too. I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your child. I can't imagine what that must feel like.
Well you seem to have had some great achievements and you're more than 1/2 way there! You should be very proud. I jumped in this forum only after losing 10lbs and I have a lot more to lose. I hope you update often about your progress. I'm sure there's others who can help. I haven't a clue about sweetners, etc.Congrats to you Deena for all your weight loss to date.
I guess I should add, I gained over 80lbs after being put on Paxil for depression. I took care of my mom who was 48 and dying of cancer and stopped taking care of myself but didn't realize how much my metabolism changed on this antidepressant until reading other stories.
Woo-hoo! The scale said 161.3 lbs. today! I'm not setting my heart on that number as I'm sure it will bounce around for a few days but the important thing is that even bouncing, it consistently edges downward.
When I registered a few days ago, the scale had said 163.7 lbs. but I'd rounded it off to 164 for the CW thing over on the left under my screen-name. But technically, I've lost 33.7 lbs of the 60 total I want to lose so over half-way to goal. And actually...135 is my "dream weight" more or less. I generally weighed around 140 most of my adult life and thought I looked fine at that weight....so if I can lose another 21.7 lbs. I'll be very happy.
In fact, I feel like I'm looking pretty darn good now. Back in the day, I would have considered myself fat at this weight. It's all relative, I learned. I never in my wildest dreams thought I'd hit 195 lbs. (non-pregnant) and it altered my perspective. Now...it's not only about how I look....it's also about how I feel. To be able to tie my shoes without holding my breath...to be able to walk without my knees hurting. To be able to breathe comfortably in clothes and not spend most of my time in elastic-waist lounge wear for comfort.
Right now...looking normal makes me ecstatic. I can wait to look "great"....not nearly as important as it was 20-some years ago....but back then I took for granted that a diet would work, that my metabolism was functioning....and only focused on goal....and looking exactly the way I wanted, weight-wise. I didn't have the gratitude I have now.....grateful that I even CAN lose weight....that I actually DO have a recovering metabolism....and that I finally look half-normal again. It took a few major losses for me to reach this point.....but now I'm much more grateful than I was then and have a different perspective. It's not such a sacrifice to stick to a dietary plan....I'm really enjoying the process this time.
Hey everyone....sorry for being MIA for so long....tied up with family, mainly....long story (isn't it always?). Anyway, weight this morning was 156.3. I've been bouncing around in the 155-156 range for about the past week...which has been quite typical for me. I even edged down to 154.9 a few days ago.
Hehe...it was funny. I was gonna post that I was still bouncing in the 155-156 range when I first returned.....but then realized I was around 161 when I was last here. Shoot, didn't realize it had been that long.....and had to search around quite a bit here just to find my own thread.....that had drifted back to page 9.
These little bouncing plateaus seem to last forever....but this current one hasn't lasted quite as long as it feels like it has....obviously. Did great over Thanksgiving.....cooked the entire dinner for around 40 (as I've done every year for the past 30 years or so).....and had steamed broccoli and turkey for my dinner and that was it. And I was stuffed. Went out and took a ride up to a nearby convenience store to get coffee with my brother while all the rich desserts were being served and eaten. Now just have to make it through the annual condo Christmas party that I'm in charge of this year.....and I'll have successfully stuck to my diet through all the holiday food. One down....one to go.
It was so awesome to be a normal weight at Thanksgiving this year. I'm sure all the ladies here know the drill.....at all major family events (holidays, weddings, etc.) all the women check each other out to see who's still fat, who got fat, who's fatter than who, who looks great, etc. As stressful as it was to do this whole dinner again.....at least I didn't have to worry about how I'd look that day....which was GREAT.
In fact...my "before" photo is from Thanksgiving back in 2006...probably the only photo I allowed to be taken of me at 195 lbs. (though I'm camouflaged in this huge man's shirt in it). I asked my son about scanning it in so I can eventually post a before and after....and he said it would probably be easier for him to just photograph the photo with his digital camera. Not sure how that will turn out but I rely on him to handle these sorts of things....he's the computer guy here.
I still have to figure out how to do a ticker....as I think I might be eligible now...or soon.
OK...going to read all the new threads and posts here.
Hi everyone
