As I was typing the date on top of the thread, it just came to me that next weekend is Mother's Day! I always tell my kids not to do anything for me but I have two mothers to deal with. Better add that to my ever-growing list of things to do today! The list is long today but the gym is first.

I spent yesterday cooking for the week and have a nice stash of dinners and portable meals tucked away.

Here's an off-topic question that hopefully someone can help me with -- any recommendations for brands of self-tanner? My legs are dead white and need some color if I'm going to wear a skirt and sandals. But I don't know where to start. Suggestions?

Got to finish my coffee and jump into my gym clothes! The gym was insanely crowded all weekend but should be pretty quiet early this morning -- just the way I like it.

How is everyone today? How was the weekend? What's going on this week?

New month, new plan.

I bought myself some notebooks on the weekend and am going to do some serious writing down of the new plan, mainly to figure out what it will be . Initially it will be to deal with the anxiety that is producing everything else.

I kept a journal about 20 years ago for a couple of years. This will be similar. I find things I do on line are not quite the same. The notebook is right there. The computer has to be turned on, booted up, etc.

Meg I used ROC foam mousse self-tanner last year to erase "socks" and it worked really well.

Time to go stretch! Have a great day all!

Dagmar

Good Monday morning! Isn't that an oxymoron? I am looking at a very busy week ahead, but I'll fit the gym in.

Meg, I use L'Oreal sublime bronze, the micro mist. You spray it all over and it dries really fast. I am super pale and it just gives a little color.

Good morning everyone! I'm helping teach a university field course for the next two days so I'm off, but wanted to say good morning. Off to warp young minds! Er, instruct. Yes, instruct.

Have a great Monday all!

Good Monday morning!
I've never used a self-tanner as I've heard too many horror stories. My legs are scary white though!

My dd and dh got back yesterday. Dh drove to Washington to pick her up. They came back through SNOW and rain and wind. They are exhausted. Dd will be home for less than a month and (hopefully) is motivated to get into shape before she leaves. I'm hoping she'll go to the gym with me today (crossing my fingers).

Two cases of swine flu at the nearby school but so far that is the only one in the district so I still have to work.

Going to be a busy week for me. It is my last week of my graduate class and I still have tons to do.

Enjoy teaching your class Megan! Good luck with journaling Dagmar!

I did make an interesting observation this weekend. I constantly hear from co-workers and family about how I'm still losing weight and I didn't really think so. I looked at my weigh record when I weighed in on Saturday. I was the same weight as last December when this record started. I have only varied by a few pounds up and down since then, so I would definitely call that maintaining! If I look thinner (which I doubt), it must be from working out.

I am also grouchy about my formally favorite store-- Marshalls. I used to love to shop there but they rarely have anything small enough for me anymore. I went in yesterday, looked around, and walked out. Sigh.....

Good morning! Mother's Day is coming up quickly! We invited DH's family (parents, brother, and grandma) over for brunch Sunday. Now I just need to decide what to make. I've been browing the Cooking Light brunch recipes online!

So far my new plan is working. I was down 1lb last week and I'm hoping for another this week. I'm close to coming out of "overweight" BMI and back into "normal" range. I had some trouble trying to count calories on Saturday because I had lunch at a restaurant. I got a tofu vegetable stir-fry which came with rice, but I was unable to find online an estimate for calories so I just guessed. If my guesses were right for Saturday I ended up around 2000 for the day. That's okay by me, it's my cheat day. I was back down at 1385 yesterday.

Had some trouble getting my workouts in last week thanks to the rain. I did go swimming Sunday morning though. The weather looks good today for my first day of outdoor boot camp! I only signed up for May, which is just three classes because of memorial day, but if it's fun I'm going to sign up for June also. They're also offering this year "doggie boot camp," which is a boot camp class you bring your dog along to. I'm curious about it but I have no idea what they'll have us do other than run. Maybe an obstacle course? I'll ask about it when I go to human boot camp tonight.

Last night I made a paella recipe from my Volumetrics book. Yum! I finally got to use the saffron I bought a while back and had never opened. It was quite easy to make and you get a hefty portion for 300 cals. I made a double recipe so we'd have leftovers for lunches. Maybe I'll post the recipe in the favorites thread.

Meg~I use Jergens lotion with the self tanner built in. It's easy to apply and since it takes a few days of applications before you really see it, you have much less of a chance of getting streaks and such. The important thing to remember is to EXFOLIATE! Do it daily or you'll get a bit of buildup in certain places. I found that the buildup is in the fleshier (less muscle-y) areas of my legs and arms.

My diet was working great until this weekend, but I'm not daunted. Wednesday my in-laws leave so no more needing to cook big Sunday dinners. I was down 2.5 pounds, but 2 pounds was right back on this morning. I think some of it is water retention so I'm hoping for a better scale reading tomorrow.

On last week's thread it was asked if anyone seems to be constantly eating while on a diet. I can't say that I am. I did add a 2nd snack to my daily routine (to try and curb my munchies while fixing dinner), but I'll go 2-3 hours without food between meals and snacks.

So what is weird is this: my MIL and I were discussing snacking at night. I don't know why, but I don't do it. Other than an occasional dessert, I just don't eat ANYTHING after dinner. She says she's often tempted by nuts or crackers just before she goes to bed. Then the discussion turned to hunger. I loathe feeling hungry when I know I have no access to food. Like when I take DS to Karate--it's only for an hour or so, but I hate my stomach rumbling, so I'll snack before hand. Or if I have a long drive somewhere. I find that I'll overeat breakfast so I'm not hungry first thing upon arriving at work. But when it comes to bedtime, I relish that hungry feeling--almost as if it is my "reward" for not snacking. Isn't that weird?

Good morning!

Meg, so what are you going to do for your two mothers? Gym first--you've got such good priorities!

Dagmar, you'll have to let us know how the journaling is going and what the plan is. I'm intrigued.

Wardhog, good for you for finding gym time. Oh, were I so motivated these days.

Megan, may all your students hang on to your every word. My son's GF is starting a teaching assistantship in the fall. Any words of wisdom?

Michele, so glad your DD is home--I know how excited you are to have her there. Snow in May? Ick. Good luck with finishing up your grad school work.

Jessica, congrats on the pound! Looking forward to hearing how your boot camp goes.

We got back from England on Saturday afternoon. Having a bit of trouble adjusting to the time difference. We had such a great time walking through the Cotswolds. The weather was lovely (the English all say "lovely" for everything) with only one day of light rain while we were walking. My DH actually got a sunburn on his nose. We walked an average of 6 miles a day through sheep and cow pastures, down country lanes, through forests and into small villages with stone cottages. Although we walked 6 miles a day, I think we ate at least 15 miles worth of incredible pub food every evening.

Today I'm planting the lilies, glads and dahlias that my sister dug up at my Oregon house last fall. We came home to find that most of the vegetable seeds we planted came up while we were gone so that was nice. Time to get in more veggies, though. Anyone else planting a veggie garden?

Happy Monday, everyone!

I've never used tanner, although I think I should - I'm super pasty white! Maybe I'll try some of your suggestions.

I realized recently that I'm at maintenance WEIGHT but not my maintenance BODY. I hit the upper 120's, lower 130's before and was very toned, then gained a bit back and lost it again. So I'm in the low 130's now but i'm FLABBY... I looked much better at this weight with decent muscle tone. I'm especially disappointed in my upper arms. Time to I need it!

Good luck to everyone this week. I know I've got "summer fever" - am ready for the beach and concerts in the park and things like that, but want to have my summer body to go along! =)

Good afternoon, all.

I'm in CA all this week. That sounds better than it is: (a) the weather is better back home, and (b) I'm working, so I don't get to be outside anyway. But, it's a change of pace, so I guess that's nice.

I always struggle with staying on plan when I'm here. I do fine at the meals when I'm left on my own, but there always seem to be so many social/work meals, too. In fact, I can count three this week: W, Th, and Fri. If it were up to me, I'd go out W, and skip the other two. Maybe if I frame it as a response to budget cuts?

The good news is that I have access to a nice gym here, so my routine doesn't need to be interrupted. This morning I rode a borrowed bike to the gym, lifted (shoulders/abs), and rode to the office. With the return trip this evening, the total ride will only be about 7 miles ... but, that's better than nothing, right?

Good luck to the journalers, and gardeners, and self-tanners, and everyone else, too!

Be strong,
K

Hi,

Today is my first day back at work. It's rough, but I'm getting through.

I did manage to get in a slightly better workout this morning. My motivation is wavering though. When I start to feel tired, instead of continuing to push myself, my mind and body start telling me "it's okay, you're grieving, so you "deserve" to take it easy. Maybe you should stop now. Don't push yourself too hard. I'm finding my mind beginning to play the same sorts of games with me about food.

self: "I feel (emotionally) like crud"
devil_on_my_shoulder_self: "oh you poor thing, you are distraught, maybe some yummy french fries w/a big tub of tartar and a nice greasy chicken sandwhich w/bacon and cheese will make you feel better" (or a donut, or some candy, or....)
self: "uh, that's tempting, but it doesn't sound like a good idea, I've worked hard to get and stay healthy. I want to stay this way" (said with very little conviction)
devil_on_my_shoulder_self: <in condescending tone> "considering what you are going through, being "thin" is hardly a priority, now is it? I mean, geez, you are grieving. Give yourself a break. Your son dies and you're worried about a meal? your weight? your exercise routine? How lame and trivial and vain is that? Get over yourself.... get your priorities straight... (etc)

Like most lies, this has just enough truth in it to sound convincing at a glance, but when looked at more closely, it's still the same ol' lies. (wondering to myself: whose voice is that anyway? Who told me these things? Is that my mom?)

These are the kinds of lies that led me to gain so much weight in 2004 - I did pretty well the first few weeks or month after that tragedy (which seemed, and really was major then, but nothing compared to this). These are the kinds of excuses I started using when I'd get a craving for ice cream or other junk food, or when I didn't feel like getting out of bed to work out, and pretty soon the "little exceptions" became the "norm" - 2 or 3 donuts for breakfast, greasy burgers and fries for lunch, candy for snacks, more grease for dinner, ice cream for desert, and no exercise. Eight months and almost 60 lbs later, did I feel any BETTER for "pampering myself" through the tough times? NO! I felt 100 times worse. Listening to and obeying that voice didn't make me feel better, it prolonged and increased my distress, depression, and anxiety.

While I do need to take care of myself, not push myself TOO hard or be TOO hard on myself if I need to take a break, the truth is that the best thing I can do for myself to help "heal" myself and "pamper" myself is to keep on exercising and eating healthy, because those are the things that will help me to really heal. Sleeping in every day, and stuffing myself with junk food is not healing, it's self-abuse. If I really feel like I need a little extra something to "pamper" myself, I can get my hair done, go get a massage, take a day off work and work on the miniature house I'm building, do a little shopping (within reason), the list goes on.

I don't want to give in to these lies. Not this time!

I need to pin this post to my forehead....

I just put a note on my calendar to call first thing tomorrow and make myself an appointment to get my hair trimmed and foiled, then I called and made an appointment for an hour from now at "massage envy" for a massage. Much better than the junk food I was craving. Giving myself a hug for making a healthy choice.

And a hug for all of you for listening to me ramble through all of this.

I am reading everyone elses posts but I know I'm not really being supportive to all of you. I'll get back to personal replies and such eventually, but for now, thanks for letting me just come here to vent.

Hi guys -
I'm at a charity golf tournement for a non-profit that our company supports, have been here all day. It has been pouring down rain, I can't believe that they didn't call the tournement this morning... Started about an hour late but every team played the whole thing, and all but two registered teams showed up.

Shanna - I'm so proud of you for getting out and pampering yourself instead of giving in to the food. I hope it helps you in your healing.

I read everyone else, but can't respond just yet. I'll be back later...

Shanna,
I am so proud of you for taking care of yourself with a massage and getting your hair done. You should definitely print out your post and put it on your mirror or fridge as a reminder. You are definitely smart in the way you are handling things but I know that those voices can get loud and persistent. Glad you are back at work too. If nothing else, you hopefully can keep your mind occupied and stay busy.

Going to try to drag dd to boxing boot camp tonight. It is the hardest class I take. I sure hope she doesn't collapse. We are also hoping to get her a bike tonight as part of her get in shape and exercise plan!

We have ants in out pants, and in our kitchen, bathroom, on a ledge beside the stairs, and in the cat feeding areas. I jsut found Mishka staring very intently at two pieces of his kibble that were totally covered in ants.

Normally he and Mudpie eat bugs but not these. I have put out the ant traps. While poking the little "doors" into them I discovered that they were baited with PB (with poison in it I imagine). I will remember that the next time I have a craving for the stuff.

I'm writing up a storm in my notebook, mostly about diet Pepsi and caffeine in general. I didn't realize what a major "habit" I have until I started writing it all down.

I'm kinda excited by this notebook stuff. I think it might be the kick I need to get motivated again. Dieting/maintaining had become really boring.

Have a good evening all!

Dagmar