I think sometimes we DO suffer from disorder eating and maybe IE is not the right approach at first until you can trust your body (and mind!) again.
Anyway, did you hear about this place http://www.fitwoman.com/
It's an IE weight loss spa. I know the prices are super high, but maybe you could contact one of the professionals and see if they have a private practice?
I know you'r brother in law's passing has affected you a lot and you've been talking about how concerne you are. Hugs from here
ALO22, I think it's a really good idea to just check in on this thread. That's what I do many times. If I get over on the other ones and spend time reading, I end up trying to "diet" again. Even the simple calorie counters with all their enthusiasm are enough to send me off the deep end.
Becky Good point. I think I've done the same thing since I started IE. I think I have to stop reading those threads as well. IE is clicking for me and if I will just keep doing what I'm doing and leave "diets" and "diet thinking" alone, I will be fine. Just don't want to do any back tracking any more. You are doing great.
I know I definitely suffer from disordered eating, having been recently diagnosed with an eating disorder! I really do need to stay involved with this thread more, but I just feel so... hopeless. It's hard for me to even fathom eating intuitively right now. I am taking baby baby steps.
Like with 3FC, I'm slowly starting to edge away from the posts that are very scale/calorie/numbers focused because like many of you, I find it to be a little bit triggering now. I am no longer weighing myself and no longer obsessively writing down all my calories (I still know the calorie content of most of the food I eat, but that is hard to get out of your mind). I am easing myself away from weighing every morsel of food I put in my mouth. I am TRYING to be comfortable with the idea of eating when I am hungry in the morning instead of trying to "save my calories" for the evening when I can spend like 3 hours savoring 800 calories worth of food while sitting down with my favorite shows...
It's going to be a long road of recovery, but I think it'll be worth it. I will make peace with food and with my body! You guys inspire me.
Welcome Teff. Just checking in after a busy weekend. After 2 days we were out of food at the last which I am always thankful for as we don't have to find a place to store it. We fed 286 at noon on Sat. It was a Bible study conference and always such a joy to see old friends.
I am at a true loss here and don't know what to do. Since January I've gained 17 lbs and 4.5 inches around my waist. This is unacceptable. I refuse to believe that I'm 'supposed' to be this size. I am not happy about it at all, so I eat food for the wrong reasons- binging - and put myself into a spiral of frustration and hopelessness.
It has gotten to the point where a diet may be the way to go for me. Sure, not dieting is liberating and feels good, but not when I'm at my second highest weight of all time. Perhaps I need that structure. I feel like someone who was called up to play in the big leagues and now has beeen sent back to minors because they couldn't make the cut.
In the past I did weight watchers on my own and lost 80 lbs with it. I then got married, moved and took medicines that effected my weight..
I am not sure what to do. If I was losing or maintaining my outlook would be different, but for me this is a state of emergency and something has to be done.
I know exactly how you feel, Nic. I gained 10lb this winter and have only taken 5 off all winter. Ugh. But I know I can't go back to dieting, no way. So I'll need to get a little more in tune with hunger and see what happens. I'll let you know how it goes. Were you ever on prednisone? I was on it for 4 years. Bummer. But now I'm off it so not an excuse anymore.
I am at a true loss here and don't know what to do. Since January I've gained 17 lbs and 4.5 inches around my waist. This is unacceptable. I refuse to believe that I'm 'supposed' to be this size. I am not happy about it at all, so I eat food for the wrong reasons- binging - and put myself into a spiral of frustration and hopelessness.
It has gotten to the point where a diet may be the way to go for me. Sure, not dieting is liberating and feels good, but not when I'm at my second highest weight of all time. Perhaps I need that structure. I feel like someone who was called up to play in the big leagues and now has beeen sent back to minors because they couldn't make the cut.
In the past I did weight watchers on my own and lost 80 lbs with it. I then got married, moved and took medicines that effected my weight..
I am not sure what to do. If I was losing or maintaining my outlook would be different, but for me this is a state of emergency and something has to be done.
I don't know if this will help or not, especially since you're in that terrified-of-the-gaining state that I know so well, but sometimes I think keeping the thought of dieting at the back of our minds ends up causing us to gain weight, just because of the way it messes with our heads.
For me, whenever I start debating on whether or not I should go back to dieting, I end up eating a bunch of stuff I won't be able to have while "on the diet", then I promptly fall OFF the diet, because I didn't want to be on it in the first place, then the terrible cycle starts all over again. This is one of the ways I've managed to gain so much. Diets have helped me along--many diets, many times, many failed attempts.
Also, some of the intuitive eating literature does talk about how some people might have a gain before they start to level off and drop, and that you should try hard not to let this scare you. (Easier said than done.) They say that if you can "flow" with the gain without jumping onto another diet, you'll find yourself gradually starting to drift down the scale, probably very slowly.
I've been caught up in that cycle the last few weeks myself. I've been disgusted with myself, desperate to get some of this weight off, and have been talking too much with my sisters that are dieting (and losing!). Every day I start a diet, and by the time I'm done with breakfast, I'm done with the diet attempt too. Then I get discouraged and disgusted, swear that "tomorrow will be it", then start it all over again.
This is a TERRIBLE way to live.
Is there any way you can look at yourself and realize that your gain this winter was less than twenty pounds, and that spring is here, or at least on its way, and now you might be able to be a little more active and maybe follow your hunger signals a little bit more, and it will gradually come off if you don't let fear scare you into another diet attempt?
Maybe if you can try to be a little bit more patient with yourself, you'll be able to relax and the weight will start to come off?
I have a stupid ritual that I've done for YEARS. I make sure to weigh myself on the first of every month because I'm planning to lose "a lot" during the month, and I want to have a good record of it.
So far all I've lost are a bunch of months, but little weight.
I weighed myself this morning, and I'm going to do my best to stay OFF the scale when the first of April rolls around in a couple of days.
I'm just going to try to get back to my pedometer walking and cut back on my eating ever so slightly and see what that does for me.
I haven't decided what I'm going to do. Unforunately I can't roll with this gain because it's a lot, 17 lbs since JANUARY, not counting gains in Nov and Dec. And then knowing that spring ane summer are here is worse because it's more difficult to hide behind clothes, and I see all these women who look awesome and then feel worse about myself.
I don't want to diet but in a way I do not see much of a choice. As I sit here, I can feel the fat of my stomach, the tightness of my skirt... I need to do something. If I was only maintaining or had a slight gain I could accept it, but this is a lot.
The only thing I can think of is to really really consider if I'm truly IE-ing. Do I really really super want fried chicken all the time? What about cookies? Is it because I 'can' have them or because I really want to? I'm going to the library tomorrow to see what i can find about IE. I'm just bummed out. I don't even want to go see family in July...also because there's always a picture taken of me and I hate it.
I just feel really bummed and hopeless right now. I feeel like not only have I failed at diets, I even fail at IE!
Tomorrow I'll be in a better mood and will be able to hopefully look at this more logically. Deep down what I want is to not have how I look/what size I am, how much I weigh to be so intertwined with my identity. I see a psychiatrist, perhaps I could benefit from counseling....
Hi, ladies I really missed yall when I was moving but thankfully I am back and can post and talk and stuff lol. I did manage to read this thread from my cell phone which was torture since it wasn't mobile friendly lol. During my move I stuck with IE and wasn't hard on myself if I slipped up. Its becoming easier and easier everyday. Now that I'm in Colorado its hard not to be active, everyone is so active outside and there are always people walking or bike riding its so inspirational. When I was dieting I used to time my walk but now instead of focusing on how long I walked or how far, I just walk and enjoy the fresh air and being outside. Its no longer about walking 30 minutes or a hour anymore. It really makes walking more enjoyable when Im not thinking about time. Also I have no idea how much I weigh and if Im losing or gaining, I do feel like Im losing weight or inches but Im not focusing on that. Im just trying to stay in my positive mind frame when it comes to my weight and food.
I haven't weighed myself in almost a month, I think. Its been a very long time I do know that. I can't go back to dieting, it worked many times in the past but now it doesn't work anymore. Its gonna come off slowly and I'm fine with that
After thought, I think the best thing for me to do is just get some books about IE,since I have only read the one. I know I haven't been using true IE principles. I'm just going to try to take smaller portions, chew slower, enjoy and savor my food. Drink lots of water, and get moving outside or inside. As someone said, if we are truly listening to ourselves, and striving toward health, weight loss is kinda inevitable. As far as having to face people in July who haven't seen me in 6 months, I'll deal with that then.
I also have to give myself a bit of slack. My husband was extremely sick in January and in the hospital. I was here alone as I have no family or friends here...that's a lot to deal with.... perhaps I'll get some insense or candles and just try toempty my head of all this...
After thought, I think the best thing for me to do is just get some books about IE,since I have only read the one. I know I haven't been using true IE principles. I'm just going to try to take smaller portions, chew slower, enjoy and savor my food. Drink lots of water, and get moving outside or inside. As someone said, if we are truly listening to ourselves, and striving toward health, weight loss is kinda inevitable. As far as having to face people in July who haven't seen me in 6 months, I'll deal with that then.
I also have to give myself a bit of slack. My husband was extremely sick in January and in the hospital. I was here alone as I have no family or friends here...that's a lot to deal with.... perhaps I'll get some insense or candles and just try toempty my head of all this...
I can so relate to not wanting to see people especially after gaining weight. We are military so we go years without seeing family and I gained about 20 lbs since I had last seen my family but they were so happy to see me that they didn't bring up my weight or anything. My mom knows how sensitive I am about it so she did not bring it up. The scale was such a negative thing for me because it controlled the way I felt and my self esteem, its so liberating to not have it control my life and how my day goes.
I haven't read any books but I did ask my skinny friends a lot of questions and googled the crap out of IE lol. Also now I realized that I hate being full or stuffed. Just take it one day at a time, I have been IE for about a month now so it hasn't been that long but one thing that I did notice was that everyday I learn something new about IE and that I have to stop having getting on a "diet" as a back up plan if IE doesn't work. When I find myself thinking about how much food I ate or when was the last time I ate I quickly change my thinking and focus on something that is not food or diet relating. I do believe weight loss or gain is mental and not just about what you eat. Having a positive body image should also help with confidence as well as weight loss. Instead of finding things that I don't like about my body I have learned to see the good in my body shape. It has change my whole thought process. Now that Im IE noticed that I eat smaller portions (not intentionally) but it just happens that way. If I eat fried chicken I noticed that I get statisfied off of a chicken leg or 2 dpending on how hungry I was before I started eating. There are sometimes where I do eat til Im full but I noticed that when I do that it takes a while before I start feeling hungry again whereas when I eat a small amount I get hungry within 2 or 3 hours (guesstimate) later. I also stopped looking at the clock to see how long I have gone since my last meal. Just have faith in yourself and maybe reading more books will help but don't give up on IE until you have made sure that what you are doing is actually IE.
Also I was reading back a couple of post about not looking at the other diet forums on here and that is so true. I rarely look at the other diet forums since it triggers me into that dieting mind set and gotta lose weight every week or not being aloud to eat certain foods. I really enjoy this thread and I'm so happy that I found you great ladies and that we are all supportive with each other and that we can all say our troubles that we are having with IE and we all understand and offer support.
Last edited by 19Deltawifey; 03-30-2010 at 06:09 PM.
Good point. I think I've done the same thing since I started IE. I think I have to stop reading those threads as well. IE is clicking for me and if I will just keep doing what I'm doing and leave "diets" and "diet thinking" alone, I will be fine.
I have been avoiding other threads as well for the most part. The results seem to come much faster by counting calories (which can be disheartening to read sometimes), but I know myself and I could never live the rest of my life weighing my food and counting every carb, fat, calorie, or what have you.
I have noticed one thing from the other threads, though. I notice I am eating many of the same foods they are eating, only I am doing it only because that is what my appetite is calling for. Fresh fruits, stir fried veggies, nuts, grainy bread, chicken or fish, yogurt, oatmeal. I still eat my fair share of play foods... probably way more than 10% of what I eat... but I think my regular food cravings are more or less keeping me in line calorie-wise.
A lot of my food selection these days also has to do with how I think I will physically feel after eating the meal. We had fresh doughnuts at work last week. They smelled wonderful, but when I looked at them, all I could think of was the bitter-sugar aftertaste I would get and how the sugar might crash my energy later on, so they were suddenly unappealing to me and I ate my apple instead. I don't crave sweets quite like I used to... although if it had been a delicious full-fat 800 calorie caeser salad, there might have been no stopping me!
