And I'd also like to point out that I offered up a suggestion as to why there might be differences in noticing and/or caring about others appearance. That was ignored to instead make digs at me based on incorrect assumptions.

Wow, you must be a pleasant person to be around!:rolleyes:

Its a matter of some people don't care if a shallow person like you thinks poorly of their clothes.

The time issue was about caring to notice what others are wearing.

I've stated multiple times that there are many busy people, moms included, that find time to look nice, but I orginially said that being busy would distract you from noticing what other people were wearing.

But if you actually read all the posts, you would see that I started to see that busy has nothing to do with being judgemental and shallow. Yes, I said shallow. How is that not shallow? Being concerned with the superficial, looks, not what lies beneath. I realize many people on this thread are aware and want to change these judgements. That shows insight. You comment just shows you are just shallow...and an @ss.

That its just who you are.

Refer to my "rhetorical" questions to someone...lol..about what society says about those concerned with other's apperance...

Really, I just can't imagine being you, and being so focused on your appearance and so rude to people that don't give a crap about theirs.

This is why I find myself judging people that think like you, because I can't imagine your line of thinking ever coming from someone that is kind, compassionate or worth getting to know. And I'm not referring to people that have recognized that they think this way and want to change it...I mean like you, who doesn't even get why your post is so pathetic.

I think you missed a big point here. I'm not proud of wearing sweatpants...I don't take pride in anything I wear, other than my scrubs :) ...I'm not like you, I don't base my self worth on my clothes. I am proud to have come from poverty and through hard work am now living an upper middle class life. I'm proud that I spent many years before kids volunteering as an EMT. I'm proud that I run (when not preg!) I'm proud that I am a good mother and wife. I'm proud that I'm a nurse. I'm proud to help people. I'm proud that I'm not shallow enough to think down about someone based on the fact that I saw them wearing PJs in a walmart.

What are you proud of? What do you offer the world besides your daily clothing and condescending jugements?

What do we as a society think (judge?) about people who are very concerned with appearance? Does it matter if they are concerned with their own vs concern about other peoples? Does that change how we describe them?

No. I mean it. Can you answer the questions and still feel ok with how you think of others?

The people that want to stop thinking like this, obviously have answered these questions, and personally don't like thinking that way. So they move towards change.

Read.

My.

Other.

Posts.

I can see which people are half reading before they post. I went on to say that I had thought that being busy would decrease the time to be noticing others...I went on to say that it seems to be more of a personality issue. People that are way to worried about who's wearing sweatpants, will be like that, busy or not.

People that don't need to concern themselves with critisizing others clothes, will not do it, regardless of how much time they have to people watch in the store.

I cannot understand being so mean as to be annoyed at someone wearing sweatpant or PJs out. So I try to think that there's a "reason" ...a fixable reason...I went to "busy" as my reason...For me, if I accept there is no "reason" ...that means to me, that these people are just cruel...I can't comprehend that kind of cruelness...I don't understand why someone would think that other people should dress better as to not offend them...I need to accept that not everyone thinks how I do. That some people do think that they are important enough that others should dress "better" for them to see, and if somone does wear PJs out, then they are annoying.

I wanted the reason to be "busy" or anything!! Besides a what I see as being just plain mean.

I didn't mean to personally offend you.

And I comepletely agree with the rest of your post. I think you are 100% right.

Yeah I'm noticing this as well.

I want to re post, which I just said in someone else's reponse, that I wanted to find a "reason" for people that are annoyed at people wearing sweatpants or PJs out. That's why I picked "busy" , "age"...I wanted a reason to excuse what I saw as being mean.

I wanted there to be a fixable reason. Because I don't want to accept that some people are just cruel. I think its cruel (and a little entitled) to think other people should dress to your rules or risk you judging them.

People that say if you go out looking like a mess, then you risk being judged, are wrong! They risk being judged by YOU and people like you...but some of us don't think like you. And you think its normal (human nature) to think poorly about people who are a mess in public.

Some of us feel compassion (why is this person dressed down? Not enough money to buy nicer clothes? Depressed? Maybe they are coming from staying up all night with a sick relative?)

Some of us see and don't judge.

And some of us don't notice.

If you think that its "normal" to poorly judge someone that's a hot mess, maybe you need to realize that not everyone thinks like you and stop justifying your judgement by telling your self that everyone is judges the girl in the PJ pants.

I'm sorry I picked busy, or kids, or age. I wanted there to be a reason, besides just being plain mean. Because I'll tell you. its not nice what you are doing! Getting annoyed at sweatpants...yeah definitely not nice...

Apparently, it is acceptable to consider "improper" clothing as a sign of lacking pride in one's appearance - but it is inacceptable to point at that all of us either were, or currently are, overweight.

I assume that we all had (or currently have) no pride in our appearance, because we were/are fat? Is that correct?

I read all of your other posts. But thank you.

Sacha- if someone noticed I was Fat that is a correct observation! Not hurtful or harmful the Truth!! Where the difference would be if they said "Hey Fat ...ss you
Are carrying a wideload you need to where a sign" that is rude!

Making observations are not harmful...if you are afraid of people looking or what people might say then you have to make a judgement call yourself.

Yes my allowing myself to get fat showed a lack of attention and or concern, not afraid to own up to my short comings!

And I refuse to do the cop out even though I took a variety of meds for infertility treatments and steroids for years plus other meds.. that the side effect is increase weight gain and increase appetite....in the end I should have been more vigilant ...instead of living in the land of apathy or denial....that's on me.
Wish maybe someone that was close to me would have called me out on it and told me I was a Hot Mess! Might have initially been PO'd but It may have been enough to rattle my cage.
It was not until I got pre qualified for WLS that my family intervened.
Walked outside to grab mail from yesterday had Peddle Pushers on and Ugg Boots on ....if neighbors gawked at the way I was dressed I would not have been offended...boots were right by the door and just grabbed them:D
I realize I looked ridiculous but I was too lazy to look for shoes that looked approriate:D
Roo2:carrot::carrot::carrot:

I never made any excuses for wearing yoga pants in public. It's comfortable and convenient! And I have a nice butt :) I have plenty of time to change; I just chose to wear what I like.

Whew.

I don't know if it's fair to say that people who are unforgiving judgers are necessarily jerks. I don't think it is a personality trait that I find pleasant, but everyone has got a few nasty traits.

I think judging is more natural for some people than others. I am a bit of a daydreamer, so when I see a person, I'm usually focused on them just long enough to spark some other thought that may be at least marginally related to them. My boyfriend, who is a more focused individual on his immediate surroundings, REALLY notices people. He's a total people watcher, and he has a judgmental streak. I don't think he means it in a mean way, but he has a very strong self-identity, and he is naturally a person that places things in a certain order in his mind. Being the person that he is, the categories can be very rigidly defined (which can drive me insane). So he sees, and he places the things he sees into whatever category he thinks that thing fits in. I see, and then I think of how that thing reminds me of something else. I don't necessarily feel the need to place it anywhere, except in some very vague way. People do both of these things all day every day from birth (it's how we learn), but I think some minds are a little more orderly, and because of that, they don't place things into large pictures that might create more compassion or understanding. When I was thinking about it, all of the judgmental people I know are very Type A, orderly individuals. That is totally just my experience, but I wonder if it's a connection that makes any sense to anyone else.

I also agree with Nikel that some people are more visual or auditory. I pick up conversations so quickly, and it's really hard for me to ignore them or let them go. So freakin' annoying in a restaraunt.

I understand what you were saying. And I think this is a very good point. On this site, we have a variety of reasons why we are over weight, different life situations, different experiences and ways of life. I think we know that for someone being fat, there is so much more to it, and it is not about lack in one's pride as you said. But this is a common judgement in society, that fat people are lazy and have no pride in our appearance...and its a hurtful judgement that I'm sure a lot of us have dealt with...when in reality, its not true.


I would love to hang around and keep reading this thread! I have to head out today. But I will likely check back later. :)

I don't think pajamas outside are acceptable either, unless you are right outside your house and running out to get your mail/newspaper/take out your trash. I also don't own pajamas that would be remotely appropriate outside of my house, so I ALWAYS need to change before I leave in the morning.

I own yoga pants which I use for lounging around my house. I put pants on when I drop off my daughter to school/grocery shop/run errands, just like I brush my teeth before I leave. If I needed to run to get medicine or go to the doctor, I may just head there in yoga pants. I also pick up my daughter from school wearing my workout gear. If I went home to shower/change, I'd be late every single day.

I wear leggings as pants sometimes, because I work hard for this backside. ;)

I really just wanted to comment in this since it's still going. I have nothing substantial to add...lol.

Wore yoga pants last night and thought of you all. :D


It's funny, it seems the thread has become more of a debate on what pants everyone thinks are acceptable to wear in public.

I went to the store yeterday evening (wearing knee length jean shorts and fitted t-shirt, just so you know) and when I got back in the car I realized I hadn't notice what ANYONE was wearing, or what anyone looked like, or what size anyone was. Though that was probably due to the fact that one of my lovely children threw a fit right in the middle of the store, to which I'm sure I was thoroughly judged on my parenting. HA! Can't win!

Pride in appearance is really a tricky thing to me, and it bugs me on a feminist level. It's too tied in to what what society and the media say is appropriate appearance. Even when I spend the time to fix my hair and do my makeup and such, I'm still not going to pass the "pride in appearance" test by many people's standards. This hasn't changed from 97 lbs to 250 lbs. I've never been the type that fits in, no matter how hard I tried. Now I just don't care any more about meeting some ideal appearance. I may be the fat, slow, ridiculous looking runner, but I'm also a happy runner. I have friends that appreciate my ridiculousness, and that matters way more to me than some stranger that's just making assumptions of me based on a miniscule snap shot of my life.

I don't avoid leggings based on any fashion reasons. They don't have pockets, and where am I supposed to put my keys? I don't avoid high heels because I can't walk in them or feel self conscious about my height. I sort of miss heels, but they make me use different muscles which affects my running. I was "in costume" for the princess half marathon, but only as much as I felt I could without getting in the way of function, comfort, and practicality.

Maybe this is related, but I'm also not much for tradition and ceremony. My sister in law is having her baby shower next weekend, and there are all these rules - no kids, no men, everyone has to dress up, formal place settings for the meal, etc. To me, that's just exhausting. I'm super relieved that I'll be out of town running a half marathon and then going to a drag show.