While looking for humours boss bashing jokes I found these handy tips!
How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity in the Workplace
1) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
2) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after you boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender.
3) Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Cha-cha."
4) Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
5) Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as much since you did this.
6) While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive liquid. Call everyone Madge.
7) Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get coffee or a printout or whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole way.
8) Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.
9) Every time someone asks you to do something, anything, ask them if they want fries with that.
10) Send e-mail back and forth to yourself engaging yourself in an intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.
11) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair-dancing.
12) Put your trash can on your desk. Label it "IN."
13) Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.
14) Send e-mail messages saying there's free pizza or donuts or cake in the lunch room. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."
15) Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
can i just pop in here and say you guys are cracking me up now i know where to come when i need a boost (or just assurance that i'm not the only crazy one here)
Allison, I didn't know headaches were allowed in S. CA! Can you make like the lab in your avatar and grab a nap? We'll tell Operator to hold off on the blasting for a while.
I just ate a really decadent and delicious sausage and sauerkraut sandwich on wonderful dark rye bread and I DON'T REGRET IT ONE BIT.
I never look back on a job or a lover or a really good sandwich!
Okay, the headache is starting to go away now. BUT the guys were working back in the shop and noticed that the propane hose on our forklift was bulging so they disconnected it--right outside my office. It stinks to hi heck in here! I didn't know what was going on at first and I thought there had been some industrial accident at the waste department across the street. Gads! It reeks like something died in here. I think it will only make my headache worse!
First: I thought I was crowned "Royal Executioner" Have I been demoted or do I get a new job?
Second:
Pearfreak: I loved the Chic one!!
Julia: Loved the Insanity one. I am bringing that into work and I have someone in mind that will try a couple of those! I will let you know if they do.
I don't get why Gary is screaming about viruses. What is going on?
now i know where to come when i need a boost (or just assurance that i'm not the only crazy one here
)
I am SERIOUS!!
