Bootsie, I am running because I'm late for work, but I want you to know we will figure it out! I know God wants you there and Satan doesn't! But God is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay STRONGER! I would have PMd you but I was afraid your pm wouldn't work. We may need to move it to a new thread. Don't worry we (God) will make it work.
Love you all Encourager's, have a beautiful, wonderful, Spirit filled day!
PinkFlamingo, WELCOME, I'm so glad you are here. This is a wonderful group!
Does anyone have trouble feeling close to God when they are down on themselves? I haven't been to church in 2 weeks (anxious about going out of the house because I look so bad), and I am finding it hard to pray because I feel guilty about not going to church... And I just am feeling so far from God right now. I also feel like I am letting Him down because He loves me and He created me to be *beautiful* but when I look at myself, sometimes all I feel is self-hatred. And shame that I don't take care of myself and I struggle really hard to feel loving toward myself.
On the positive side of things, my doctor is FINALLY taking me off the antidepressant that caused me to start gaining weight in the first place. I'm hoping it will help.
Hi everyone! How are you today?
Does anyone have trouble feeling close to God when they are down on themselves? I haven't been to church in 2 weeks (anxious about going out of the house because I look so bad), and I am finding it hard to pray because I feel guilty about not going to church... And I just am feeling so far from God right now. I also feel like I am letting Him down because He loves me and He created me to be *beautiful* but when I look at myself, sometimes all I feel is self-hatred. And shame that I don't take care of myself and I struggle really hard to feel loving toward myself.
On the positive side of things, my doctor is FINALLY taking me off the antidepressant that caused me to start gaining weight in the first place. I'm hoping it will help. Blessings to all.
PinkFlamingo Bless your heart. GOD LOVES YOU and I do too. I can't tell you how often I have felt that way. It kept me from me from doing so many things in my life. When my children were young, I didn't go to many school functions because I didn't want to embarrass them by the kids in their school knowing their Mama was fat. When they were grown and we talked about it, I learned how disappointed they were because I wasn't there. I have missed out on so many things in my life because I didn't go certain places or do certain thing that I really wanted to do, but I felt too fat and ugly. I still battle with that and I go on, but I am learning that there are others just like me out there going on.
Years ago my husband at that time (now deceased) and his brother and his wife were driving down the street and something ugly was said about a very heavy lady waiting to cross the street. Later I when I had a chance I confronted my sister-in-law about it because I was upset. I asked her "What do you really think about me? I am overweight like that woman." She said, "We don't see you that way". That never made any sense to me. And my heart went out to that woman.
All I can tell you is that God is not mad at you. You are His child and He loves you. The Word tells us that because Jesus came to earth and was tempted as we are that He understands what we feel. I don't know why you haven't gone to church. I don't have to know. There were a number of years that I didn't go to church either, but it didn't change my love for the Lord and more importantly it didn't change His love for me. I watched ministries on television and I was just as blessed as I am now that I have found my place to be active in a church. I don't think is so concerned about us going to church every time the door opens as He is concerned with the time we spend building a relationship with Him.
I think the devil has you beaten down and it is time for you to see yourself as God sees you. I would suggest you read the book of John and see how much Jesus loves you. I love John 17 where Jesus prayed for his disciples and us. Also read the beginning of Ephesians 1. Paul tells us in that passage that God chose us to be His children before He even created anything. When you see how important you are to Him, Satan won't be able to make you feel so bad about yourself ever again.
TRISH ~ that was just wonderful advice that you gave PINK FLAMINGO -- I totally agree with you.
PINK FLAMINGO ~ GOD loves us; and JESUS loves us -- just the way we are right now. He is more concerned with our inner beauty, our good health, and our spiritual well-being. Jesus spent much of His time on earth healing people who were sick. Those were the two things he focused on the most: spiritual wellness, and physical well-being. We all do know how you feel; becuz we've all been there. I think it is part of our frail human nature to feel insecure, but we can grow as we learn to put our confidence in the Lord instead of ourselves, and that takes time.
I agree that YOU-KNOW-WHO is playing head games with you -- so don't let him! Rebuke those negative thoughts in the Lord's name. Sometimes, I think that this is another way He keeps us from going to church: make us feel so bad about ourselves that we don't want to go, esp if that is really the ONLY reason you don't want to go anymore.
GOD isn't mad at you either; that's just another trick by the to make you afraid to go to church or pray. Don't ever stop praying and seeking Him! What does the bible say? Who is our accuser ... it's the Father of Lies ... the . What is the truth? GOD LOVES YOU and always will ...
BOOTSIE ~ OK ... you've got a few things going on there -- 1) the popups are causing some of it; 2) your server is causing part of it [that also happens to me sometimes; dunno why, but maybe it gets overloaded sometimes: meaning too busy]; 3) this site may be having problems as well: we've all seen that too. It isn't your computer. That's not bad if it just happens on that one thread, and it may be just a coincidence. So, maybe with some prayer and wait & see, things may get better in time.
Gotta go put on dinner: I'm already late ...
Last edited by Justwant2Bhealthy; 10-07-2009 at 09:08 PM.
Pink Flamingo, I don't know if it will help you but I want to share somthing I shared on a couple of other threads... It's about a friend of mine and you may have already read it, and if I knew how to make one of the hyperlinks to it I would, but I don't so I will stick it here
Quote:
I want to tell you a story, it's a true story about a dear friend of mine. I love my friend but at a young age, she started an unhealthy relationship with an abuser. This abuser was a bully and had no mercy; she would put her down at every turn. The bully would say, “You are stupid you only have a seventh grade education, you’re a loser, you will never lose weight, and you have tried dieting so many times and have never been successful. Your fine for two or three weeks, then you run out of gas, what makes you think this time is different”?
She would make rude comments on the way my friend looked. She would say, “You have huge pores in your nose and a big white, blubbery, pasty, stomach.” She would constantly tell her she was ugly, every single time she caught sight of her she would tell her she was repulsive. It was brutal, and constant, every time my friend had a success the bully would knock her down. Every time my friend was in a social situation, the bully would point out all her faults. She would tell the other people at the party that my friend was fat.
I think the bully in her own sick way was trying to protect my friend, because she would tell my friend “they won’t accept you if you don’t show them you know your not as good as they are, If I build them up by putting you down they might like you.” Then when my friend and the bully were alone, she would berate her for all the stupid things she said at the party.
People who were close to my friend would try to tell her the bully was wrong, but my friend didn’t believe anything good about herself. She had listened to the bully to long. The bully drove her to the brink of suicide. She tried to kill herself three times but thank God, she wasn’t successful.
Do you think my friend could ever be successful as long as she continued the relationship with the bully?
No matter how much self-esteem you have if you are constantly told you are bad, you start to believe it. What do you think happened to my friend in the end?
If you haven’t already guessed, I am my friend and I was also the bully. The way I used to talk to myself was horrifying. You cannot succeed; let me say that again YOU ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT SUCCEED UNTIL YOU GET OUT OF THE HABIT OF VERBAL SELF ABUSE. You may as well quit now if you can’t make the commitment to break this habit. Would you talk to your child the way you talk to yourself? It’s time to stop this destructive habit. I can’t stress how important it is for you to end this.
You’re probably thinking, “I can’t stop, I have been doing it too long.” If you try, God will bless it I promise. This is how you do it, you look at yourself in the mirror and if your alone say it out loud, if not, in your mind, “God made me beautiful, I am beautifully and wonderfully made, I am the temple of the Holy Spirit, my steps are ordered by God. God only sees the good in me. I am well able to fulfill the destiny God has planned for my life, the best is yet to come, look at me. God is pleased with me. I am a good friend; I am a wonderful Christian because if not, God would not have chosen me. I try my hardest all the time. God is perfecting me every day. He is well able to give me all I can ask or imagine because He loves me. Everything that God allows in my life is good”… I mean you need to go on and on.
Everyone has a conversation going on in his or her heads at all times (your internal dialog). Your subconscious mind records everything people say to you and what you say to yourself, literally, and records it for later use. If you don't get anything else from this study, take this truth. It is so important.
Please don't put yourself down anymore. Jesus never put Himself down, and He is our divine example. Recognize that is Satan, and just say Jesus, Satan is knocking will you please answer it?
Just popped back in to say that we had a nice, healthy dinner; then we all went for a walk afterwards at our favorite place. It was much cooler tonight, so it was a bit quicker, but still enjoyable for all. The sun tried to peek out a few times today; but we are supposed to have really nice weather from Friday right into next week. Hope that is correct: I have been praying for that, esp for our Thanksgiving which is this Monday coming.
It was a good day; hope it was for all of you as well. Take good care ... ROSEBUD
KELLI ~ all you do for a "link" is copy the "Address" line at the top of the page that you want to share; and then paste it into the new post you want to put it in. You can do it -- it's as easy as copying anything else.
Very good points in your story. So many of us battle with negative self-opinions (that often stemmed from early abuse by someone else) that we can counteract with 'positive' statements and verses. I made up a list of positive affirmations about myself and read them whenever negative thoughts try to pester me; I also read and recite uplifting scripture verses, and sing songs -- all of this helps a lot. It takes a bit of time to get rid of a bad habit like this, but creating a new positive habit of loving oneself can change our lives in a big way ...
Last edited by Justwant2Bhealthy; 10-07-2009 at 09:37 PM.
Well, I just had to come here to share that I have finally broken the 185 pound barrier! I've been losing and gaining the same 3 pounds all summer and could never get below 185, but this morning, I made 184!!!
Other than that, not much going on here. Had to take DS2 to school today. His knee was worse and he wasn't able to move it well enough to drive. Spent the day trying to accomplish town errands. He said the knee felt better after physical therapy, but we're hoping the pain lessens over the weekend or we'll have to take him for x-rays and possibly an mri.
Have a good evening, everyone! You're all in my prayers.
....
.... Recognize that is Satan, and just say Jesus, Satan is knocking will you please answer it?
Love, Kelli
AMEN! Remember ladies, if we rebuke Satan in the Name of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ then Satan has absolutely no power over us...none...na-da...zippo...I cannot tell you how many times in my life I have just said...satan...I rebuke you in the name of my Savior, Jesus Christ...you have no power over me!
I am kind of busy tonight with ballgames and a friend coming over...but I may be off tomorrow....will catch up!
HI EVERYONE ~ well, we received a gift of a bit early today; well for the AM at least, then it got cloudy and cold, but the came back by dinnertime. We got lots of stuff done around the house today.
We had to stay home to wait on a delivery that never showed up. Geepers, that's annoying; and boy, was DH peeved, cuz we could have done something else, but I decided that we should just make the best of it and get ready for winter instead!
DH bought me an organ (a real organ) for my birthday which is coming up next week; he paid for it and to have it delivered and the guy said they would deliver it today, but it didn't get here. Soooo ... I called and they said the driver was off for the AM, and they'd call me back, but they didn't, so not sure what is going on now???
ANYWAYS, we'll pray really hard that everything gets cleared up and that it will arrive sometime tomorrow. DH wanted to get me one for a long time, but couldn't find one he liked until now; so maybe I'll learn to play my favorite HYMNS on a real-sounding organ now -- should be fun for the winter, I think!
HI RONNI ~ Prayers going up for your DS2 -- for that knee of his to feel better; it may take some time for it to heal, and that includes resting it for a while too.
BOOTSIE ~ lots of people been having problems on the site recently, saw some threads about it today; I had a few freeze-ups, and was knocked off the internet the first time I tried to come into this site today -- just had to keep trying, and finally got in. I think their techies are working on it right now ...
We had a very, busy day around here getting things sorted out for winter; putting summer stuff away and pulling out winter coats, and Christmas decorations, and arranging the sheds better. My poor legs were exhausted: I think I walked a marathon just going back and forth -- sure felt like it. No more exercise needed for this day, that's for sure. Ate well today as well; had steak and a mushroom medley for dinner ... yum!
Hope you all have a FABULOUS FRIDAY tomorrow!!! ROSEBUD^PRAYERS^ continue for you and yours ...
Last edited by Justwant2Bhealthy; 10-08-2009 at 10:29 PM.
That is so great they are working on the site Rosebud, I had no trouble last night or tonight so I hope it is fixed. It really is aggravating not being able to post etc... but now it seems like its working that is a blessing!
An organ! Alright Rosebud! Wish I could hear you play it! I will pray for safe delivery soon! We are suppose to get rain, lots of rain, in the morning ,hope so! 100% they say, 1 to 3 and 5 in some places! I hope we get 5 that will fill the back tank up!
my brother called from up toward Dallas and said they were expecting tornadoes and hail, I sure hope not.
Well I got to get some exercise and housework and work on some store files if I am not to tired after housework... May all of Y'all be blessed with a Happy day tomorrow!
I hope this finds all of you well and in good spirits
I was off work today. I got in two separate walks with the mutts, a 3 mile one in the morning then we did a short 1.5 one this afternoon down to the big mailbox. I vacuumed and cleaned the counters and mopped the kitchen and dining room floors Even got the laundry caught up. I have had some days off lately and have done my share of resting
I have been watching a lot of baseball...my Dodgers are doing well in the play-offs so far...very happy about that A lot of good games on. Angie watched the Twins vs. Detroit game with me the other night...what a good game that was. She is in and out watching the Dodgers with me....mostly out
Angie has really been busy with her knitting...some of the things she is knitting are starting to look like what she says they are Still real busy with her yoga.
My sister is confused about the results after breast surgery. I just listen, was real happy yesterday to hear her say she wants to start going back to church.
SCOOTER ~ How long was that vacation? Hope your trip was awesome.
WILMA ~ I hope you are enjoying the vacation with the kids...I know how you miss them Prayers for your friends.
BOOTSIE ~ So glad your site is back to normal (fingers crossed!) Save that rain dear. We are expecting some here...just a little...but the central part of the state, where things are real bad, is expecting more.
ROSEBUD ~ How cool is that...an organ Great job on getting the shed in order...never have to worry about changing wardrobes from winter to summer and back here...pretty much always the same, we have a jacket and several sweatshirts for winter....and some long pants for me
PINKFLAMINGO ~Welcome! We always Let God down...but He is always there to pick us up and get us going again...and He forgets when we let Him down! Go and sin no more...He says....We all struggle through things in life and sometimes feel like He isn't there to help us...the further we distance from Him though the worse things get. I pray you find the stregth to do what is best for you.
RONNI ~ Great job! 184!! Prayers for your son's knee. I separated the ACL in mine in high school. had trouble for years with it then severed it in 1990...had surgery, out of work for a year...but never any trouble since...a total success! I take it no game tonight....
TRIKERBABE ~ Did you get it? So good to see you back here Prayers as you "raise" Morgan
IMDEDICATED ~ TRISH ~ BARGOO ~ KELLI ~ KAREN ~ RYANNE ~ SUGA ~ AND ALL OF THE MIA'S....PRAYERS
Still a TON of post-vacation stuff to get done, but at least I got the photos uploaded and laundry started.
The trip was terrific, even though the weather was rainy and cold. We hiked almost every day, with 10 miles being our longest hike. We were very glad we took the hiking poles, the slippery conditions were tricky in several places.
What a difference from the last time (5 years ago) we visited some of these places. We were able to take trails we never would have attempted before.
Here are a few of the pics from Tahquamenon Falls and Lake Superior (near Marquette). Click the thumbnail for a larger view.
CD, those are beautiful pictures! Looks like a great vacation. The first one with the colored leaves makes me a bit homesick for the east coast - no trees with changing leaves here in the desert.
I recognize some of your faces (avatars...) from other threads - but hello to those I haven't met yet!
PinkFlamingo, I have had some of those feelings before - that I don't deserve God's love because of the way I act or fail to use the gifts he has blessed me with. But you are loved ALWAYS and ANYWAY, don't forget that! One of the things I always pray for is the strength to properly use the gifts I have been blessed with. Embrace God's love for you and let it help you to love yourself.
Kelli, thanks for posting that story.
Wow, Rosebud, an organ! How cool. Do you already play or are you going to learn on this one? When I was a little girl my great aunt taught me some basics on piano, and I really wish I'd kept up... music is such a blessing.
EZ, that's great that your sister wants to start going back to church. How is she doing? Is she confused because they downgraded the status?
As for me... I have been having a rough time this semester. I should be finishing my master's degree in the spring, but I'm honestly thinking about leaving after this semester with a certificate in public health instead of the full degree. Academically, I'm fine - well, better than fine - but I am completely unable to make meaningful social connections here and it's really feeding a depression I thought I'd dealt with years ago. I'm praying that I will make the right decision, and I think deep down I already know what that is, but I am going to take some time and hope for better guidance.
Bless your heart. GOD LOVES YOU and I do too. I can't tell you how often I have felt that way. It kept me from me from doing so many things in my life. When my children were young, I didn't go to many school functions because I didn't want to embarrass them by the kids in their school knowing their Mama was fat. When they were grown and we talked about it, I learned how disappointed they were because I wasn't there. I have missed out on so many things in my life because I didn't go certain places or do certain thing that I really wanted to do, but I felt too fat and ugly. I still battle with that and I go on, but I am learning that there are others just like me out there going on.
YOU-KNOW-WHO
Just popped back in to say that we had a nice, healthy dinner; then we all went for a walk afterwards at our favorite place. It was much cooler tonight, so it was a bit quicker, but still enjoyable for all. The sun tried to peek out a few times today; but we are supposed to have really nice weather from Friday right into next week. Hope that is correct: I have been praying for that, esp for our Thanksgiving which is this Monday coming. 
I've been losing and gaining the same 3 pounds all summer and could never get below 185, but this morning, I made 184!!!
a bit early today; well for the AM at least, then it got cloudy and cold, but the 
