I'm here! But I'm new in these parts...

I feel so much empathy... I get this exact feeling every single time I have to go out and "be seen". I'll spend forever and ever making a costume or getting one together and then some random person will snap a photo of me, and when I see it I feel so dejected, so hopeless. I'll throw my hands out at my reflection, get really mad at it, tell myself that I will never. change. and why should I bother, anyway?

Sometimes I think of it this way, and it helps me: you know all of those diets you begin and don't finish, and how they seem to pile up? A successful diet is just the one that lasts a little bit longer and is a little bit healthier than the one before, until you're at your goal.

Anyway, just to say, I know where you're coming from and I wish you all the best. :hug:

i didnt get to post yesterday but i had went to see my gram. She looked like she was already in a casket. She said hi but then went back out of it and when I was leaving kinda came to life and was like I didnt know you were...then went back out of it. Well when i called my mom to tell her something dad answered said gram had just passed away...They had just went to run an errand while my aunt sat at their house with gram and she called them back...Guess they had a long night. i love my gram and will miss her. I had a lot of good times with her and we had a good last year since she moved in with my mom. She didnt die in her trailor on the mountain all alone.. i hurt for my mom cause I know she is hurting. she took care of her 24/7 and would have to beg my aunts to come help her if she needed to go somewhere. My mom is the baby. She sat there this whole week watching the life drain out of gram and nothing she could do for her. She tried to get her to eat and drink and even crushed her pills up in some applesauce but nothing she could do could keep her mom from going. I only got to talk to her breifly because she was at the funeral home. She broke down crying so then I started crying. i had held myself together SOO well even when i had to tell my sisters (who my parents adopted not too long ago). I feel like I was as prepared and at peace. You will always miss people and remember times you had with them. But its my mom who I am focused on. ok well enough of me blabbing on.
I will talk to you all later...services arent until wed and thur cause my uncle from new mexico has to fly in for the services.
nite

momof4, :hug: to you and your mom; condolences on your gram's passing. You sound very 'together' in this sad and stressful time, that you see how your mom is hurting. I hope you keep strength to get you and your family through this time.

Hi Nenu, welcome :wave:

hope, I'm sorry you were in such angst because of the party.

Havisham, buddly, Leenie, and all others :wave:

I had 4 huge frosted sugar cookies and about 8 fun sized candy bars yesterday/last night. Ugh. Back on track today.