Mom, as a) a mom myself (on my own as my husband works overseas) and b) the child who was the only one for whom my parents were not good parents, I can tell you, without hesitation, that you're an awesome mom. Know how i know? Because you love them - and you let them know that.

My parents weren't overtly cruel - they just ignored me and made it clear I was going nowhere. They said I made it very difficult to love me when i was two and my dad (step dad) moved in. I was TWO. My father moved to Australia and barely spoke to us after that.

Take it from me - you can be the worst, most unpredictable, volatile mother in the world - if your kids know you love them unconditionally, then you're doing ok. I was at my lowest, depression wise, when my oldest was young. I had no diagnosis, no idea what was going on, and totally the wrong meds. I felt like I was the worst mom alive. I was volatile, and unpredictable and felt like I couldn't get anything right. Now he's 18 - he's a pain in the butt, but that's to be expected, and he knows, without any doubt that I love him. He tells me everything (sometimes too much) and freely tells all his friends that I'm his best friend. He says that I always, always told him that he was loved and that my behaviour wasn't his fault. Almost in spite of myself, I managed to do ok.

I can relate on the discipline - my husband moans all the time that I'm too soft, that I don't discipline them enough and they walk all over me. It's hard to make that stand. I employ 'grown up time'. They have to go somewhere quietly - whether it's the den, or their bedroom or whatever, they have to be out of the way and doing something quiet. Watching tv, playing a game, reading a book (ok, I can dream), whatever - as long as they're quiet. You HAVE to have time on your own, and it sounds like that's not happening right now. Tell them, mommy needs some space, and you need them to do this for you.

have you tried the old time out? Or taking away a favourite toy for a short time? it's hard the first couple of times, but once they realise you're serious (even if it's only ten minutes) they'll know next time.

I'm also a fan of bribery - I know, it's awful. Sit them down, tell them that you're all going to work together to get the house nice. Give them each a small job - even little ones can put stuff away. Tell them once they do that and each has done their job properly, they will get a 'treat' - whether it's a cookie, or a piece of fruit, or a favourite movie to watch, if they feel that they're getting a reward, it's easier to make them comply. It's not totally bribery - you're really teaching them that when they do good things, then good things come to them. Either way, if it gives you ten minutes peace, it works.

You're an awesome mom, and you know your little guy didn't mean it. it just caught you off guard. maybe tell him that he's hurt your feelings. That he's allowed to feel whatever he wants, and that you will love him, no matter what, but that he's hurt you and you'd like him to think about what he says to you. It's worth a shot. Chances are he's already forgotten it - he didn't mean it, it's just a kid thing. But next time, you can make him see that it's hurtful to say stuff like that.

anyway, I'm rambling (gee, go figure). I don't know if any of this helped, but hang in. :hug:

Good afternoon, everyone. i thought this might be a place to make friends here on 3fcs. i suffer from chronic depression and bi polar.

It's raining here, i hope everyone has better weather day than i am.:)

Mom - good for you for getting that off your chest! as a mom, and the family disciplinarian - I know that we are are ones that get the flack back from the little ones - we take away the fun/dangerous stuff, limit sweets, set stay up time, nag at them about teeth brushing and bathing, have to deal with nasty and inexplicable messes and generally stop them from the freewheeling super fun that would lead them to be homeless, friendless, on the way to the ER

So - know that you are a good mom - but if it really worries you, have a talk with your kid, I know he's a smart man because he must take after you!

I applaud all of you moms out there. :cp: I think that is the scariest job in the world and I shall be avoiding it at all costs. :D

:welcome2: Ohiofreespirit, looking forward to getting to know you. It rained here today too in VA but I'm one of those weird people who loves the rain.

I was off today. I got a little (very little) cleaning done but again ended up sleeping most of the day. I slept in and then took a nap before pool tonight. I'm wasting SO much of my free time sleeping. I needed to study badly or at least clean some more. Why am I sleeping so much?

We lost big time in pool tonight. It happens. I did win my match however but I was the only one.

Buddly, glad you had fun and got to get away. I had my tonsils out in first grade and I remember my throat feeling raw but it was worth it. It stopped my annual episode of strep throat.

You know how you know you are a good mom? Because you care enough to worry about you being a sucky mom or what not. This is what someone told me Friday when I was suicidal and way depressed. That someone also told me, "do you honestly believe someone else can know when your child is sick or that someone else could love him (or her) better than you?" I was brought to tears thinking about it. Then, that someone told me to write little affirmations, and so I did all over my window and now there is an accumulation of them I read each day. I also try and add at least something positive about me, too, each day. Oh, and one of them says, "I am the best Mom possible to my son Tien-Tien." Its so true. I do love Tien with all of my heart and soul. I just keep allowing my negativity to ruin my ability on being the best Mom for Tien-Tien, and then get all suicidal on feeling like I suck so bad that I need to give my son someone better than me. Feeling suicidal is a sucky feeling to have.

Mommytotein! OMG what a rough patch to be feeling so down! please take care of yourself!

Ohiofreespirit welcome! I to am bipolar!

Purefire good job back on the eating right wagon!

i am in a much better mood today, i think my meds are finally getting me straightened out. i still have a ways to go tho.


Thanks for the wonderful welcome, everyone. :) It feels so good to have someone notice me on here. :o

ohiofreespirit, glad to here it!

Not much time today, lots to do. :hug:s to everyone who needs one. Welcome Ohio! :wave: And Mommy!
The teacher I met with yesterday agreed to be my cooperating teach, so I know where I'll be student teaching in the spring. Score!
Everyone have a good day!:D

Hi Ladies,

Sorry I can't do personals. The company that bought us out is official taking over tomorrow and we are rather stressed to say the least here.

I just read all your posts and may i offer you all a big ol cyber :hug: You are all amazing ladies, please believe that. Also know that you are not alone in your struggles. I'm so glad you are here to share and support with us.

:welcome: Ohio & Mommy ... thanks for hanging out with us ;)


Talk to you soon.. Leenie

Leenie, hang in there. the pharma industry is a fickle one, but I'm sure you'll be fine. Sounds like a good buyout! :hug:

for all that I didn't get a chance to tell ! We got accepted at an apartment that is within what we can afford! Not going to be homeless! Not going to have to live in car or with Mom! I was so worried when I didn't hear from them for 3 days past when they said they would have a decision! But all is OK! I am so happy!

will be gone for a little while doing paperwork for everything, but thank you all for your kind thoughts and prayers

good morning friends, sorry I've been absent for a few days; but just quickly read all posts and a big :hug: to everyone. Leenie, I hope the buyout and transition doesn't stress you out too much. Mom, I agree with the poster who said 'you are a good mom because you are scared that you aren't'. Havish , thank you for the bomb disposal offer for DH :D that was sweet :) and hugs to everyone else. Oh and :welcome: to Ohio!

DH got the notice that the UI Adjusditcator (??? I know that's not spelled right but it's 6:30 a.m.) will call for a phone interview later this week. So it will be some time before this is settled. Whatever :dizzy:

Good morning, all!

Lost - that is Excellent news! A new home is SO exciting!

Vermont - the red tape will kill you if you let it - don't let it! As the saying goes, don't let the b***ards grind you down!

Leenie - as I said to Vermont, don't let the b***ards grind you down! Hope the transition goes well!

hang in all!

:wave:

Congrats Lost

Can't post to all.. I will catch up tomorrow.

Happy Friday :hug:

Good morning chicks, Happy Saturday to those who don't have to work...and to those who have off but have a ton to do, hope you get it accomplished :)

will try to say hi individually soon! (next day off isn't til Wed.)

I woke up in a really good mood this morning (post pizza binge sugar high?) maybe its having the worry about a place to live off my back. Anyway - I feel ready to add a new challenge to my exercise routine and am going to go get a Yoga video - I have never done any Yoga in my entire life, so something may fall off, I have no idea - but I miss my flexibility from a few years ago and I think I'm ready for a new challenge!

Hi there chickies,

I've been away for a bit, working on myself lots and whilst I've been reading along I haven't posted here much. But I have been reading along and I have been thinking of you all.

Right now I've been on my meds for something over a month, and (this episode of) my depression seems to be fading away. Things are more positive! And as a rather nice bonus, I seem to be able to concentrate on things better, for the first time in years :)

I just wanted to leave a note and say, especially to those struggling right now: please don't give up. We all have it inside each of us to get better, with the help from outside that's needed. But what's really essential is that we want to get better. So please keep going - one day, one hour, one minute at a time.

thanks salsa chip, glad things are getting a little better for you too! One day at a time, everyday a little bit better

Lost, yoga is a great exercise - I used to do it regularly BF (before fat) and it's amazing - it makes you feel like you bounce. Enjoy! :)

Going to work soon :p but as I was logging on I began to wonder why (besides you wonderful peeps of course) do I even belong to this site? I'm not even attempting to lose weight or work out. I eat way too much daily and most of the time give it no thought except for the usual guilt. This is a weight loss site after all and I'm definitely not participating in the journey. Humph...

But I hope you all have a great day!

Hope - I'm with you. That's why I'm just never posting here now.

hope that is why i didnt post much and because there was in the past not many people posting. As I was signing in tonight I thought exactly what you wrote then like two seconds later I read yours...that is crazy...Cause Im not even trying every day I am guilty bout the crap I eat and I say well I already screwed up today I will do better or start tomorrow...but that tomorrow never comes....

Hello Ladies. Hope everyone has a good Monday. :hug:

Good morning ladies, I am thankful it's sunny here, that always helps me!

I hope that everyone continues to post here, whether or not you are having success with getting healthier body-wise, this part is good for our minds I think :hug:

today is the first day of my seasonal winter job, that I really don't like (understatement :devil: ) but I am thankful to HAVE a job. Hope everyone has a good day :)

Heather, Hope, Mom - I, personally, do not care if you're trying to lose weight or not. Come back (or stay) and play with us!! We enjoy you not your diets!

I think I posted something about that in a past month's forum and everyone told me the same thing... let's see if I can find it... hmmm... AHA!

Words of wisdom from Leenie, Purefire & Hope4me! :D

Leenie: Marbear, you need to post whether your doing good or bad... thats what support is about, besides you'll receive no judgment here. We love you the way you are so please don't feel you need to be perfect to post Ok Gosh if I only posted on good days, I'd have about 10 posts out of my what... 10k lol


Hope: Marbear, if I didn't post every time I went off plan you'd never see me!
I'm always behind on my homework.

Purefire: Marbear ~ continue posting whether you are having a good day or a bad day. We all have them both and it's always good to talk about them instead of hiding from them.


So I best see you ladies posting! :) :hug:

Everyone :hug: have a greta day. Good to see most of you are in high spirits

Leenie - How's work, love?

(As for me - SOSDD)

please keep posting!
 

I agree that you ladies should definitely keep posting - sometimes the "weight" you loss is all that mental baggage that is weighing you down. I wish I had joined this site before I was ready to lose weight, because it would have brought me to a healthier mental place much quicker!

on a down note, my great mood evaporated quickly and I had a rough yesterday, way binged and am feeling ashamed and defeated, but I know I have to pick myself up and get moving and that no one is going to do it for me

Good Morning,

Oh sweet ladies, I don't not post because I'm not doing well on my diet, I just can't find the time to post on all the boards I moderate here, plus my job, plus my family yadda yadda yadda ;) I read all the post but don't always have time to do personals for everyone ...If I could reach out and give you all a big ol hug every day I would. This board is near and dear to my heart (my baby) so I make sure if I can't post, I sure as heck read and pray for everyone :hug: Thank you for being so kind.... I agree... this is what support is about. We here have something so much more than just a diet plan... don'tcha think, so I agree.. weather or not you lose weight should not prevent you from posting... we are so much more than a number on the scale. I've been coming to 3FC's since 1998 (chat boards) and finally registered in 2001, its a 2nd home for me... I just love the people here ;)

Anyway......... again I am off and running, I have to get my passport done and then off to work. Marbear at the moment the only thing different at work is the oodles of announcements... boring lol I guess soon we will find out about site closings. Thanks for asking ;)

Have a great day ladies... you all ROCK !!

Leenie

Good morning, all,
It's beautifully sunny here in Canada today, which is wonderful (especially since it's cool, so not too much sweating!).
For those saying they shouldn't post because they're not losing weight right now, I have to tell you that you all got me to START trying to do something about my weight. I started just reading here a couple of weeks ago. Then I started posting. Then I realised that if you all could post and be supportive and try to do this, then I could try, too.
As I've said in other posts, I'm not killing myself over this. I'm doing CAD, and if I fall off for a day, I'm not going to be beat myself up over it. This is life, not a temporary thing and we all have times when we're really going for it, and times when we're knee deep in ice cream. Both times have their advantages.
Look at it this way - you're coming here, you're reading the posts, you're putting in something when you feel you can. Therefore, you're thinking about the problem you want to solve. That's the first step. It's the thought that counts, and when you're in a place where you can start with one day then you're in the right frame of mind.
And then, when you are ready, you'll have this board as support. :)

I miss the days of the daily post....I feel a bit overwhelmed trying to go back to the last time I posted and work my way forward....and feel bad about not acknowledging posts....at least each day is a fresh start...not sure when that changed or why....in the meantime I will post when I can.
Leens does Cathy come anymore?
Oh the good old days when we used to chat too!
Had my 20th wedding anniversary last week....feel like I should still be 25!
Anybody on facebook? That is the new social network since I used to post here.
Have a great day everybody. Clinic day today. Spent the weekend prepping the house for a major reno---house is 17 years old and we have painted once...it is looking tired. We are starting from the basement and working our way up.
Slept poorly last night but hopefully a quick trip to Timmy's on the way to work will fix that!
Have a good one everyone.
Liz

Yes, ladies, keep on posting :)

Yesterday was a rough day for me too, but unlike a couple of months ago it didn't reduce me to tears. I have confidence in my meds, my docs and my own b****y-mindedness: I will come out of this and I will get better :yes:

Have just been to the gym which makes me feel good. As I'm not too keen on running in the winter I asked my PT what I could do through the week, and he suggested spinning. Something I've never tried before! So I'll check that out sometime this week - I want to keep my activity levels up as the days get shorter.

Keep going, ladies, please keep going! Knowing that there's a group here who have similar struggles to me is such a wonderful support each day. You (yes, YOU!) have no idea how much you all help me each day :D

Thanks guys I guess that makes sense...

I feel crappy that I went and spent money like 2 weeks ago on running sneakers cause the shoes I had i couldnt excercise in cause they hurt my feet...n i have yet to excercise in them...by the time my day is done i havent even thought of excercise...so i got this thing off motivated moms...it has a check list for everything
from doing a random cleaning to making beds to reading the Bible to excercise, to read to children...everything sooo I am going to post it and ATTEMPT to do it!! small starts are good!!

:hug::hug:

The truth is I would be lost most days without having you all as friends. Thank you all for posting and listening to me over the past couple of years.

:hug::hug:

Good morning friends :) boy it's dark out. Remember when it was light at 5:00 am? I miss that! So now I soak up the rays of my Happy Light and think 'brain, get happy!' :D

I also wish I could personally respond to each and everyone, but even without that, I know we all care and mentally wish that person all the best.

everyone, and enjoy the day if you're feeling good; and hang in there if it's not so great, it eventually WILL get better :carrot:

( I might ride my motorcycle to work today, that ALWAYS put me in a fantastic mood!)

LOL, I thought that the 'reason for editing' box was just for moderators to see, guess not :D

Morning all, just a short post as I managed to slice my hand open moving an aquarium... so typing is a little harder! Just wanted to say Hi! and have a great day today everyone!

Re:
 

LOL! Thanks for a giggle :D

Good morning ladies. Not much here, SOS DD. I need to meet with my boss to tell him I won't be coming back after my december vacation. Ick. Oh well, onto to a more rewarding career :D!

(For all of those a bit lost: I'm student teaching in the spring. So I'm leaving the financial world to teach - which may not be monterarily rewarding, but at least my life will serve a greater purpose. I sure as **** don't serve a greater purpose where I am now!)

Everyone have a great day! Cheers! :huh:

Ok, I have to ask - what does sosdd mean?

my anxiety is up today, money is tight but i'm holding my own. trying not to freak out and let things take their course.


The sun is shining, it is supposed to be 60 today. Hope everyone has a great day where ever you are. :)