[ellis]

Hi Dentrassi and Leens!

Den, I'm dumping... you don't have to read this.

Leens, have you got your boss breathing down your neck again?
How's the new van? How long can you keep that "new car smell"? With a one year old... I'd give it a month, tops.

Den, thanks for your support (again ). I can appreciate what you've gone through depression-wise. My parents simply thought that I was a "moody teen", and living with depression for so long made me think that it was normal to feel like "that". I always faked it when I was with other people... I'm told by everyone that I have a beautiful smile (my only good feature, I assure you), and it's my disguise. Everyone thinks I'm "well-balanced, got it all together, happy, etc." They don't see me crash when I get home. If they saw me as I really am, they'd whip me into a mental hospital in a second!
The weird thing is, I'm so damned NICE (yeah, right! ha ha) that everyone dumps on me. I'm a good sympathetic listener, and I give great advice. I'm not patting myself on the back... it's all a facade. I just want to be a nice person, but I'm really a *****.
I'm getting better... I'm trying not to listen to too much crap from people. (you know, like you're listening to me right now )
Last summer I dumped two old friends who were doing nothing more than constantly complaining. One of them would call me periodically at midnight over a period of 6 years to complain to me about her husband. What the heck is wrong with people? Get help and MOVE ON!!

I'm sorry you weren't taken seriously, too. I'm sure you received a lot of unwanted advice, as well. Everyone thinks they're an expert. I'll say one thing... I've made a point of telling everyone that I'm completely to blame for this whole situation, so they're all being really nice and consoling. I hope that you've got good support from your friends and family.

Listen girls, I NEVER watch TV. Maybe one half-hour program a week, tops. I just don't have time. Last night I watched ummm, I think it was called Law and Order or something. They showed two episodes in a row. I was totally fixated with the TV. Even the commercials were fascinating. I must be losing my mind.

Sorry, I'm rambling. Did I tell you it snowed here? We got over 10 centimetres. Crap. I'm really surprised that more people don't do away with themselves. That "Survivor" show is nothing. It's the everyday living that kills you. WE ARE THE SURVIVORS!!
Okay, I've totally lost it. It's band practice night (they're in the basement). My head is RINGING!! I'm going to get some advil and I've got a cold Corona in the fridge. I'm going to cozy up in bed with my book.

talk to you tomorrow... hope you're both well... Leens, write soon...
ellis

[dentrassi]

ELLIS!!!!!!!

First of all, YOU ARE NOT DUMPING!!!! We are here to help each other with this kind of stuff, BECAUSE WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE!!!!!!!!

YES!! I did all the same stuff. Being "nice" so people would accept me. Being afraid to show anger or even disagreement because I was afraid that either i would lose control, or disappoint people. Even thinking it was normal. I remember saying something to a therapist at some point about how, "...but everyone feels that way SOMETIMES." And she set me straight. Blew my mind. I joke about it, but i am serious too about rejoicing in my *****iness. You are a nice person, but you think you aren't because you feel upset or angry sometimes. WELL YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO FEEL THAT WAY!!! And when you start to express those feelings, the people who have taken advantage of your niceness don't like it, because they can't take advantage of you any more. Isn't it interesting that all the nice people are in therapy or on drugs, and that all the abusive users are out there running amok? I've had to dump a few old friends too. Including one who couldn't take a break from telling me about the latest fight with her boyfriend even after I told her I had been having some suicidal thoughts. It had taken me a while to work up the courage to tell her that, and she just blew me off. it is possible it just scared her too much, but there were other things going on there too.

I'm finding that now that I'm getting older I just don't want to deal with anymore jerks. I'm finding it easier to disentagle myself from those kinds of relationships too. Life is too short to deal with that crap, and the physical and mental well-being of my family (and myself!!) comes first!!! I just don't CARE if that $40 acrylic nail job just lasted 3 days. THEN DON'T DO IT!!!! WHO CARES!!!!

You are dealing with some heavy duty stuff right now. If you are feeling jittery or cranky or whatever, try to give yourself a break. You are a GOOD person. You may have enjoyed the tv for just that reason. Mindless entertainment!! Besides, tv can be completely surreal, without even trying to be!!! Sometimes I laugh hysterically watching ads, becuse they are SO bizarre if you take them literally!!

[Leenie]

Hi Girls,

WOW you two sound like your my evil twins Honestly, you both sound just like me, I had to read over and over who was posting those last 2 posts because it sounded like I wrote them

I'm the same way, I'm to nice and don't know how to say no, geee is that why I'm on Zoloft hehehehe. I'm really happy to report that the Zoloft is now kicking in and I feel sooooooo much better, hubby even notices how happy I've been, I just hope I can maintain it.......shoot, listen to me....thinking the negative already

Ellis, the tv is crap, nothing but putting nonsense into our kids minds (and adults). My sister stoped letting her kids watch the "rug rats" because the one character is very nasty and calls the other kids names......well her kids started doing the same and she cut them short of that TV show........no more she said, its sick, so now they just watch PBS shows.

Dentrassi, you said a mouthful when you said "Isn't it interesting that all the nice people are in therapy or on drugs, and that all the abusive users are out there running amok?" Your 100000% right.

Ladies, I hope Jesus lightens your burdens today and you have a wonderful day.

Love, Leens

[dentrassi]

I'm keeping this short today, since it is so late!!!

Leens, Ellis and all you lurkers (COME JOIN IN!!!)

Hope the week is going well!!!

[ellis]

Hi Dentrassi and Leens!

I'm posting late... very... it's 2:30 AM. My husband is on call tonight, and just got an emergency call to respond to. Needless to say, I'm up now, too.

A child was killed by a car in front of my son's school this afternoon. I'm so sad and so furious. We've been trying to get the police/city to do something about this location for YEARS. It's such a dangerous street traffic-wise... I just knew it would eventually come to this.

I'm starting to wonder if I'm EVER going to get a good night's sleep again. When my husband's cell phone rang at 2:00, I just about had a stroke. curses

Leens, I'm so glad to hear that Den and I are your evil twins! I was afraid that you were thinking we were nuts. Which of course, we are.
You're right about the TV. It's junk. But it gave me a brief respite. Our kids don't watch a lot of TV, but when they do, they just watch PBS, too.
I'm really glad that the Zoloft is working for you. I know what you mean about "maintaining that feeling". I felt the same way this winter. My Fluoxetine wasn't working quite as well as usual, and I started to panic. My husband calmed me down... he reminded me that I'd been in far worse states before, and that all we had to do was; at the worst, see the doctor and try something else. Fortunately I've evened out again, but I have to be postive... and so do you! Life isn't going to ever be perfect, but we will be alright.

See, Den, ummm, I'm very apologetic because I don't want to dump because I'm trying to be nice...
geepers... we've all got a BIG problem, haven't we? I used to have a sign on my phone... it said, "JUST SAY NO". Now I have an answering machine, so I have time to think before being overly polite.
I love that, "... all the abusive users are out there running amok." heh heh. I'm glad you've dumped those "friends". I used to be extremely picky about my friends... they had to be witty, have much in common with me, and be of reasonable intellect. My standards have gone up. Now, all they have to be is NICE. I've dumped all the clever ones, and now have a small group of delightfully supportive friends who actually care as much about me as I do about them. And I've discovered that they're actually quite witty, too.

oh... there's my husband back... it's 3:AM ... let's see how much sleep we get. We'll probably lie in bed for hours talking...
take care, sweeties... your support is great... please dump on me, I am a great listener. Talk to you tomorrow... today.
ellis

[Leenie]

Hi Ladies (oh can I call you that ? snicker ~ )

Its wednesday and boss woman is back, I call her Zena because she is beautiful, her body is perfect and as hard as a rock, she eats constantly - go figure - but she never ever looks at me like some people do at heavy folks, she is really a good person and accepts people as they are. I guess thats why I've been with her for so long.

Not much doing here, SOSDD. Ellis I hear you on the sleep, Since Gracie's born I haven't had any so I can feeeeel your pain I felt sooooooo bad when you said that child died, OMG I don't even want to think about it, what a nighmare. I'll pray for that family.

I did alot better on my diet yesterday, so I'm pretty proud of myself, not to count my chickens but one day at a time and If I can do good for even one meal, I'm purty dang proud.


Okay girlies, have a great and blessed day.

Love, Leens

[dentrassi]

HI LEENS!!-YOU CAN CALL ME ANYTHING EXCEPT LATE FOR DINNER!!!!! (burrrp!!!) Glad that the diet situation is getting easier for you. It took me a couple of weeks to really get going!! (And I ate fries last night, so I have to get back on track) Like you say, one meal at a time!!!

Ellis-How awful!! That is going to be completely traumatic for the kids at that school too. I can't believe the way people drag race evn around schools. My Mom gave me a great tip on how to say "no". (She has a hard time with it too!!) She tells people that she has to check her schedule (or says, "let me get back to you on that.") She found that if she said something right away she has a hard time saying no, so she gives herself that break, and then calls back later and says, "Sorry, can't do it."

My Mom got back from England yesterday. I had to pick her up at the airport, and was stuck in the middle of a freeway closing for 1/2 hour. (IN A PANIC!!!) I ended up having to take a u-turn ON THE FREEWAY and exit on an entrance ramp. A truck had pulled down a HUGE sign, and NO traffic was getting through!!! Lots of people were getting off this way, and if I hadn't, I would have probably been 1 1/2 hours late picking my mom up!! As it was, customs took EVERYTHING out of her suitcase, so she was just getting out when I got there!!! THAT is the mood I was in last night... COMPLETELY FRAZZLED!!! (It took me ANOTHER 15 minutes to find my way back on the freeway AFTER the mess.)

[ellis]

Ladies? hahahahahaha!

Okay, I confess I HAVE been mistaken for a lady on occasion. (It's the British background... reasonably well spoken, excellent posture, absurdly exaggerated sense of decorum, etc.) As I normally look VERY casual (scruffy jeans, messy long hair in a messy bun, a knapsack on my back, etc) it actually makes for good shock value. Den, you can probably appreciate that being married to a long-haired professor. People LOVE to categorize others, and I like to see their faces when they discover they've put me in the wrong class.
Also; I confess, I love to deliberately emit large burps like yours, Den. It really shakes people up. heh heh.

Den, I'm so sorry you had such a crappy day yesterday. What a nightmare!! I love your exit off the freeway. I can just see you. Are you one of those people that MUST ALWAYS ARRIVE ON TIME?! I am. I hate to keep people waiting. And when they keep ME waiting, I'm ready to kill them.
Are you still frazzled? Probably, huh? May take a week for the old heart-rate to settle down. Did your mom have a good time?
Sometimes when I can see my destination but can't reach it, I just want to pick the damned car up and carry it!

Leens, your boss sounds like quite the babe. I'm glad she's nice.
Gracie? What a beautiful name... I love it!
Thanks for the prayers for that family... I knew you'd say that.
She was 9 years old.
Hey, you're doing great on your diet! Good for you... keep it up!!

Den, I'm really sorry you've had suicidal thoughts. I guess many of us have, but it hurts me to hear it from others. I know the feeling all too well. I remember when I had my daughter thinking, "I'll never have suicidal thoughts again because I have someone to live for now." HA! WRONG!

Listen girls, I was thinking of you this morning. A neighbour called me and proceded to dump on me and ask for advice on the stupidest, most trivial matter imaginable. In my British fashion, I listened politely for about 20 minutes, knowing from past experience that it could go on for an hour. When the top of my head started to blow off, I thought of both of you. I actually started to cry on the phone, said, "Lucy, I'm sorry, I have a lot of personal problems and can't listen to yours right now." I then lay down on the kitchen floor, had a hellofa good sob, and noticed that the underside of my kitchen cabinets are FILTHY! Anyhow, I owe you both thanks for the pep talk. Perhaps I will simply stick a note on my phone and front door that says, "Den and Leens". I may have made a complete and utter fool of myself, BUT I DID IT!!

lesson for the day by ellis: Don't ever lie on your kitchen floor.

[dentrassi]

Ellis-I'm glad you cut that conversation short. It gets easier with practice, so KEEP ON DOING IT!!!!! I can just see it now, "I'm sorry, I can't listen to you now because I need to take care of myself. Den and Leens said so." But it is true, isn't it. People like that just drain away so much energy that there is nothing left for your family or yourself!!

YES!! I must ALWAYS be on time!! I was really upset thinking that my Mom would call my Dad, and he'd come, and I'd never hear the end of it.....or basically that she would worry, and I'd never forgive myself. Like you say, that British upbringing. In some ways i am a very crude person, but I always have that streak of decorum too. More in the way that people treat each other than anything. I used to be known for saying, "That is completely inappropriate." Even though I am one of the tackiest people I know!! People think I am a fat middle aged house wife. And even though I AM, that stereotype doesn't really fit my personality. Anyone looking at DH and me would figure HE is the crude and crazy one.....(heh heh ) Actually, a friend of his once said that the Person in a couple that LOOKS the most normal is usually the REALLY crazy one!!!

My Mom had a WONDERFUL time!!! My grandmother is getting frailer, but is still mentally very sharp, and it was nice for them to see each other. My aunt and uncle took her around to shops and plays so that my grandmother could rest by herself sometimes too. She found (wait for it...) an Eeyore egg cup for my hubby!!!! When she came back, though, they totally emptied her suitcase searching for contraband!! She was the ONLY one they did this to, and they even pulled out her DIRTY UNDIES, which you can imagine embarassed her no end!! She'd have probably washed them in the sink before coming back if she'd known they were going to do that!!! She said she brought back candy, and i HOPE it is something I can stay away from!!!

Re cupboards etc. - I can't see the top of my refrigerator, so as far as I'm concerned it is clean!!! (and I'm the only one who can see the underside of the cabinets, so as far as I'm concerned they are clean!!!)

[Leenie]

Hi Kids,

Posting a fast one today, the big big big boss man is coming here today so I have to look like I'm working when he walks in haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa !!!! every hear of the phrase, over worked and under paid THAT WOULD BE ME !!!!! The more my boss gets the more she give to me to do and just sits back.......oh it must be nice. But its true, Sh*t rolls down hill.

Dent, I think we all have a crude side to us If the candy your granny brings back is really good, send it to me.........NOT !!!!!!!!! I can stay away from hard candy but put me near chocolate, especially pnut m&m's....look out !

Oh regarding refrigerators, well I'm 5'10" so I can see the dirt on most of them ROFLMFAO....I'm taller than hubby and his family so his father makes sure his is clean when he know's i'm coming over....the *** even said that to me once. They always make fun of my height so I just tell them Jealousy will get them no where

You girls BURP !!! OMG Thats discusting ROFLMFAO Give me a beer and you better cover your ears and lets not even discuss the other end.

Have a great day !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love Leens

[ellis]

Listen girls... I've had it! I have got to lose weight! Are either of you ready to kick butt? That's the problem with losing weight with friends... we're all off-kilter when it comes to being "ready". Interesting how girl-friends always have their period at the same time, though.

Okay, on MY scales this morning I weighed 183 (that means approx 193 at the doctor's office, but screw THAT!). I'm supposed to go for a walk this morning with a friend (although it's started raining, damnit).
Do you care if I write down my food for the day here? And water... I'm not drinking enough water. You know when you feel hungry and YOU KNOW it's because you're really dehydrated? Well, I've just been ignoring that feeling and eating instead of drinking. Or I'll drink cola instead, which gives me a lovely sugar buzz.

Leens, forget that new van... I think you should WALK to work!
5'-10"!!!! You lucky girl! I would KILL to be tall!! I'm 5'-4", and like Den said, average is boring. You're both above/below average you lucky things. If I were 5-10, I would feel so superior. Ignore your inlaws. (most of them are dinks anyhow) They probably ARE jealous. Just look down your nose at them and pat them on the head.

hey, check out this site girls... scroll down and look at the photos of the writer on the left hand side. They're very inspiring.
http://www.desertmermaid.blogspot.com/

Dentrassi, my dad is ALWAYS early! I'm sure that's where I get it from. Also, I have a p-poor sense of direction. Which means I usually leave a lot of extra time to get somewhere. And god help me if I find the place right away... I'm early, and am then forced to circle the area for an hour.

Oh geepers... those rotten airport people. I'll have to remember that if I can ever afford to travel. I'll throw out my underware before I come home. Particularly if it's my PERIOD underware. I don't know about you two, but I have an entire set of period underware. I add more to it every month. Got a drawer full.
Listen, that candy may have had contact with dirty undies, so just don't even bother with it. What kind of candy is it? My grandmother always used to bring us candy from England. It always seemed so exotic.

Okay, lie on your kitchen floor, and look at the skirting board beneath the lower cabinets... where it touches the floor. And THEN let your eyes travel up slightly so that you can see the bottom edge of the lower cabinet doors. Honest to gawd, I've never seen anything like it! It's revolting! I can't even talk about it. I've actually removed the doors on the upper cabinets. It looks pretty cool, and I'm forced to be tidier when I put things away.

Okay, let's lose weight. Yes?
ellis

[Leenie]

Ellis YES I'm ready !!!

Whoooooooooo whooooooooo whooooooooooo !

[dentrassi]

HI LADIES!!!

Don't know what kind of candy she bought this year, but she USUALLY brings back toffee. Not the shmancy kind, the good old cheap slab of toffee that you smack on the counter (or cement) and then eat pieces of. You just can't get that here. Last year she brought back a BIG bag of assorted Cadbury miniatures...again with kinds you can't get here. Also I LOVE blackcurrant candies, which are difficult to find here, but seem to be a common flavour over there. And licorice allsorts.....OH GOD!!! I'm not even a sweets person usually, but English candy is just better. Hopefully she'll bring things I can resist!!! (And meanwhile I'll think about dirty undies!!!! ) My Grandmother's cousin used to run a sweets shop (it was attached to her house!!), and whenever we went she'd let us pick out a few things. I remember something (I THINK called sherbet) that was like a bag with a piece of licorice sticking out of it. You'd bite off the end, and then suck this sourish powder up through the licorice. I used to love that!!!

Ellis-Yes, I have period underwear....It is just like my regular underwear...OOPS!!!! My mistake, it IS my regular underwear!!!!! I swear they are all stained!!! (I know you needed to know that, and YES you can post food and drink here!!!)

Leens-We are opposites!!! I have a tall hubby and in-laws, and I am SHORT!!! Let's face it, we are ALL sicko!!!

By the way!!! 15 yr. old son told me I was a "poser" the other day!!! I was wearing a t-shirt that said, "I'm evil, that's why" and he said that I wasn't as evil as I thought I was, and that I was a poser!!!!! Oh, how sharper than a serpent's tooth.....

[ellis]

You know, I've noticed that the Macintosh toffee is much softer than it used to be. I shouldn't have to put it in the freezer in order to be able to "smack it".
I remember those bags with the licorice straw thingy! I'd forgotten all about them! And the blackcurrent candies. And my grandmother used to bring us these multi-coloured nougat-like candies. Do you know those? Cream-coloured with pastel stripes.

oh, good... I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one with a drawerful of period underware. Now that YOU'VE admitted it; Den, I'll admit that mine are all b-stained, too. Except for two pairs that I bought a couple of months ago. So far, they've remained untouched. I periodically buy new ones and say, "these are NOT to be worn when I'm having my period!" hahaha!

I was in a grocery store yesterday, and my hand briefly hovered over a jar of Marmite. I managed to pull myself together, though. Jeepers, it's expensive! It's like gold!

A poser. That's excellent. It always blows me away when one of my children used a good word. They absorb a lot more than we think, don't they? Yesterday, my 6 year old said, "Chocolate milk contains the same products as milk." Products? What ever happened to "stuff" or "things"? Baffling.

I actually did quite well yesterday. Low-fat muffin, 2 big bowls of low-fat cereal with no-fat milk, a broiled chicken foot-long submarine, an asian pear, 4 coffees w/no-fat milk, about 5 waters. Oh, and I had a bit of a slip-up at bedtime... ate 1/3 cup mini chocolate chips. I started out sucking each one, but ended up throwing them into my mouth by the dozen. And I walked for half an hour.

How are you two doing? Well; I hope, and KEEP IT UP!!!
talk to you later... ellis

[dentrassi]

GOOD MORNING!!!!!

See, that is another thing about Canada. You get better candy than we do. Believe it or not, Marmite is even MORE expensive here!! i wait until my Mom brings it back!! Once when i was a teenager my Aunt and Uncle sent us an industrial size can!!

I don't remember the multi colored nougats. Good thing, because there is already too much tempting me!!! The thing that is funny is that I am NOT a sweets person. Usually I would rather have salty and greasy snacks rather than candy, but there is something about These particular items.....

Sounds like you are doing pretty well with the food/exercise thing. Are you going to take me up on my challenge?

Kids are a scream!! I love it when they surprise you with their vocabulary, but sometimes it is even funnier when they make a mistake. When 15 yr old was a toddler, I asked him what he wanted for breakfast and he said, "opium" which was his version of OATMEAL!!!

Leens-The challenge i referred to is to stay OP and exercise every day through Monday. Want to do it? Hope you are doing okay, and your boss gives you a chance to post today!!!