well last week was out of control and so is today

so painful.

had:

x7 slices brown toast and lots of butter
tin of soup
-purged-

big helping mash and butter

-purged-

x6 bags crisps
x25 mini choc bars
slice cheesecake
-purged-

very unsuccessful purges still not over and eating again HELP :'(

Ugh... I do so well for a week and then I slip up. This morning I ate two bowls of cereal, two string cheeses, some trail mix, pretzels, two bananas... Granted they are not bad food choices, but once I stared eating this morning I couldn't stop. I almost feel like I don't even taste the food. It's disgusting. And last night I ate a HUGE bowl of homeade popcorn. I just needed to take a time out and vent. It's so frustrating when I binge. I am ashamed while I'm doing it and even more afterward. I get so angry with myself. I don't even think I binged for any reason, but just to eat... GRRRRRR... I need to get myself back on track.

I am Jennifer. Bulimic for almost 18 years. I need support. Today is day 1 - I am sick of being sick. Can anyone relate? I am constantly struggling. I just want the obsession lifted. I feel alone, I don't share this with many people as this is a disease based on shame and secrets. Please help me get through the day today. Any suggestions?

^ Aw it's okay! I totally relate. I feel like no one understand. Lately my mom has been pissing me off because she doesn't treat my food related issues seriously. She SMILES at me when I binge on food because she's happy I'm eating and not actually starving myself like I told her I would. It makes me SO mad. She doesn't realize that eating a lot is doing more harm to me then good. And mentally, at the end of the day, I think starving myself would make me feel more mentally happy then binging. When i binge, I become depressed and angry at myself for my lack of control.

Today I binged on peanut butter and bread. lots of peanut butter and whole wheat bread. Good if I would have had ONE. Not going to throw it up though, just accept it. I never threw up any food and lately I have been. I think I may be spiraling into another e.d

well I guess healthy fats? LOL jk. Tommorow will be better, I promise

Just keep going forward. That's all we can do.

hey hun.
im a mess with bulimia and has taken over my life and everything ive ever had and lost firends family. everything. self respect when im at my lows.

my healths all messed up always and i never feel well. im sick of this food addiction. i hate being sick too. its all the time. and that feeling on a night when u feel bloated and have chronic indigestion. as if thers so much still ther :s

anyways feel free to pm me.

maybe we can support each other and try an eating plan of some sort? and find new distractions.


anyways. u knw wer i am

Food. I welcome the day when we just swallow meal replacement pills and there isn't any of the emotional torment.

1,900 extra today. Nice one, I'm a fat **censored**

Hello to you both (jenniferjo&miaddiction)!
I'm in much the same boat.

(This sounds stupid, but I didn't realize that we could post in when we over-ate and yakked. Thought that it was only for a straight out binge...)

I'm fighting this tooth and nail and I'm going to be the winner.

No more yakking for me. If I over-eat, I'm just gonna suck it up. Bulimia leads down a nasty path. It only gets worse, so I'm plannin' to nip it in the bud right now.

Love and strength to you ladies. We can do it.

~lexis

I didn't straight out binge today, but I did eat a bit past full. It might still qualify as a "binge" as I was past full, but it wasn't the binge of the massive quality that I'm used to...

It's a slip up, but a slip up erring in the right direction.

Trying to look on the positive side.

I hadn't seen this thread before. I have been under a lot of stress lately and have been handling it by bingeing. I have managed to consume an entire bag of Spicy Nacho Doritos, large size bag of M&M's, one peanut butter cookie, and a bacon double cheesburger and fries. This has been in the last 3 days, but it is all off plan for me. I still have a cheat day once a week, but this is ridiculous. I know it is a binge because of the way I feel when I am eating...bottomless, out of control, crappy.

I have been reading "Feeding the Hungry Heart" by Geneen Roth and journaling my feelings and trying to get to the root of the issue and I think this is helping. It doesn't help me to say some food is forbidden and I just can't see it or have it in my house. The minute that thought crosses my mind I become obsessed by it. And it doesn't help to call myself names or berate myself for slipping into old behaviors. I have managed to lose 85 pounds and if I can do that, I can get to my goal. So what if it takes me some more time. I have more work to do on myself than just the physical. It wasn't the fact that I was fat that made me fat. It might have made me more fat, but it wasn't the original problem. When I solve whatever that issue is, the next 75 pounds will be a breeze.

Ugh. I'm still binging, but this is my day #3 of no purging. I'm hoping that if I just stop making myself throw up, then my body will get the message that food isn't meant to go two ways.

Just ate almost a whole box of frosted flakes and two slices of toast (on top of a healthy dinner)

Ugh.

I kind of slipped today, 've been good for about 12 days now, but I ran out of veggie fillers and started snacking on denser food when I wasn't hungry and that triggered it. I stopped myself midway, put the food I was eyeing in the freezer, had a big glass of tea, and that helped. Making some progress!

Hi hi.
I've been away awhile as without internet access but I'm back in college now (last term ever, gasp!) so are my belated confessions....first days home I munched on crisps, sweets, cookies, etc (largely due to reunion with friends most of whom don't do healthy eating) and gained 3lbs in a week. So far I've lost 2. (How can it take one week to gain and three to lose?! O punishment disproportionate to the crime!) Anyway now I'm back at college it seems to come off easier cos I don't have to keep too much food in my room and I have to be more active in my daily life. Trying to stick to approx 1500 cals daily to get the last one off, spending them on filling foods so I don't get too hungry to study lol xx

Okay...tonight I had a mini-binge. I'm on Weight Watchers, and I get 27 points per day. I came home and I had 7 points left - so I ate 7 points of WW ice cream & 100 calorie pack cookies. I then proceeded to eat 3 more packs of 100 calorie cookies - so I went over 6 points. Problem is...I want MORE now. I want the whole box! ARG!

Must fight this until my husband gets home.

I'm nauseous right now from all the food I just ate. I didn't even enjoy it. This is hard ... It was all healthy food, I just had way too much. Now I still want some peanut butter sandwiches.

Hello all,
I am new here and I feel like this is just the place I need to be. I have "binge tendencies" a lot where I will just be standing there and then decide, "I NEED TO EAT!!!" I have been really really good for about 2 months on not giving in. I will have things in my hand on the way to my mouth, but I will muster the sheer will power to put it down. However I have a confession that I really feel terrible about even though it wasn't that bad, and I am a calorie counter and didn't wright it in my journal. I ate my snack after work (string cheese) then I decided that I was going to have another snack, I rationalized it somehow. Then I saw that DH had left oreos and chips in the TV room. I kept myself out of the oreos, But I ate some chips. About 1/2 a serving... I know it's not bad in comparison, but I feel really horrible about it and I had to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening.