hi coaches!
quick hello- we are back from two days on cape cod, a quick trip. Credit for a long bike ride in Falmouth, the beautiful Shining Sea bikeway. We tried to swim but it was freeeeeeezing, my feet were painfully numb very quickly. the lifeguard kept blowing her whistle which I was paranoid about because there have been more shark sightings around, although not this part of the cape I guess.
I ate way too much ice cream and fried seafood, but I'm putting that aside and tonight is a big stirfry with lots of veggies, we are all veggie deprived.
I need to make a plan and get back to my cards. One more week and kids are back at school and we will get back into a routine, which will involve better food choices too!
Lexiss- love the greenhouse! I'm very impressed!
More personals later hopefully, when I catch up with you all!
I haven't had a good few days. I am like an eating machine. I want to eat eat eat. My emotions are driving me to eat as well as my feelings of being tired. I am mentally tired.
While I had my best day ever at the farmers' market yesterday, I came home exhausted. I started out that way deciding to opt out of packing the tent canopy and my display sticks. It was much easier without that but it meant I had only my ceramics on view. There is always a trade off of some sort. This week I do my second artist in residency week. I am thinking I would share the space this week but is there someone who would want to? My hunch is that the current resident artist may go for it. I might stop by on Tuesday and ask. If she was there when I was then I could work out back as I had hoped I would before but found out I couldn't because it's not so much a residency as a gallery sitter experience. This would take some pressure off of me as well.
I am fretting over tomorrow. Worried about getting stuck in traffic, worried about how long the day will take, worried about what comes next with the medical stuff for MIL and will we be always driving her into town now? I wish she was well but at this point we don't even know for sure if she is not-well! That's why we're going, to get tests done. Bone scan tomorrow. Pulmonary tests as well. Later a PET scan on her brain and then, the procedure that brought her to tears even thinking about it, another attempt at a biopsy. That was the test that had her lung collapse and hospitalized her for 2 weeks with the most pain she'd ever had from the chest tube they needed when her lung would not go back into place on its own. I just *feel*her*pain and when I am tired I feel everything 10x more. And the other thing I do is stopping looking after me. All the vigilance on my food choices and trying to keep them within boundaries of some sort that will work, well it all just sort of dissolves. What did give me hope this morning *credit for weighing* is seeing the wii fit tell me I am 0.4lbs down. That said to me "This weight is not permanent. This rise is temporary. Do not make things worse. Stay on track. Get on track. Start tracking. Do not give in to food pushing." And yes, food pushing is going on bigtime at MIL's house sinc eshe is under Dr's orders to gain weight. When we went to pick her up last week she offered us ice cream cones as we walked in the door, at 11am. DH said yes, I said no. She raised her eyebrows at that. No no no I had to say more than once as they ate ice creams cones in front of me. *sigh* today, DH has agreed to bbq and I want to eat nothing, which is a bad plan. I will track my day, see where I stand and face the food from a point of knowledge and facts and numbers (points available for me to eat today) vs. from my emotional state.
In addition to all of this, I just feel very fat. I feel my stomach there in front of me. It feel huge and prominent. I constantly imagine my body to be that of my aunt's when she was the age I am now. Big ball shaped stomach. Could never be hidden. I thought to myself this week "this stomach is like my clutter. You can't organize/hide/manage clutter away. The only solution is to be rid of it. Same with excess weight. There is no hiding it. It has to come off of the body for a real change to happen.
Hmmmm. Now I am feeling very harsh. Very black and white. I guess I just want things to be decided already. I can't make a plan because I don't know what will be asked of us to do. My only real job right now is to support DH and support MIL and get her/us from A to B. Equally important is not to abandon myself. Not to let go of trying to eat well, make good food choices. I do not want my health to fall to martyrdom. Ugh.
So, this is where I'm at. I am now going to track, make a plan, have a shower and get ready for our sleepover at MIL's tonight.
onebyone: you are in a tough place, so I am sending good mojo your way. I am glad you are talking about it, sharing, and checking in. Good thoughts for you and your family this week.
curlyjax: you are braver than I, after the first whistle I probably would not of gone back in. Of course, I always think I will be that "freak" accident that is read about in the "odd but true" section of the newspaper....
BillBB: hurray for some different, fun and social exercise. Even if it did end in some forbidden treats!
nationalparker: hurray that DH is still committed and on plan with you. New shoes signals true commitment!
love2garden: what type of pedometer do you use? I will look online. My quote refers to my acknowledgement that my eat-at-home-alone behavior is a warning sign for overeating and that Beck has plenty to say on that topic. I need to reread some chapters before the weekend hits!
I didn't track today - but I wrote my plan for tomorrow - and put all of the calories in my counter. I have a plan!! A friend mentioned today how relaxed I look. Funny, I don't feel that way. But I think that the summer vacation and low stress helped kick off my weight loss. My goal is not to let school and student worries stress me out this year. There will ALWAYS be more work that needs to be done. I need to "Let It Go" and just do what I can while working on my stress levels.
Yep. That's a plan.
So much easier said than done. Right?
I am looking for a commercial treadmill at a used price to have at home. My husband is 6'4" and if he wants to use it, it has to be commercial. He goes to the gym, but I just can't get there. I would rather exercise at home, once I get home from work I don't want to leave again. I am looking on craigslist....hopefully I will be able to find one. I am ready to start running, but am a fair weather runner (which we don't have much of in Arkansas).
OnebyOne Hope the shared space works out for you, and also for the person who shares with you. May your MIL have a diagnosis and a solution then heal rapidly. Hope you can let go the worry. You did well with your "NO meaning what you said. Good for you.
CurlyJax OUCH Freezing swimming, but the bike ride sounds delightful.
Bill Square Dancing? Oh what fun. We 3 went for years and it is great exercise, such fun, and best social action I've ever had.
Debbie May you find a solution that is good for you, too.
SuzLen Pedometer is New Lifestyles NL-1000 I described it better in a former post.
DD and I have had a great weekend together while the guys were fishing. She is such great company no matter what we do. Today after Church we went to that new restaurant we now love. I'd planned for a sweet treat and made the most of it. Also Mediterranean shrimp salad was wonderful.
Now DH is home with lots of trout. He is taking all the meat from the bone and we'll have those wonderful fresh trout for lots and lots of meals.
Last edited by love2garden; 08-23-2015 at 07:14 PM.
Happy Sunday! Well, this day turned out much busier than expected. Have tackled a lot around the house and then DH and I headed out on hiking boot/sneaker purchasing missions this afternoon.
Reaffirmed my desire to get into my leaner clothes. My "style" that I'm more and more drawn to is that of the casual hiker for autumn/winter. But nothing is fitting over these hips. SO ... on my list of what I want to fit into is a raincoat from North Face or Columbia/whatever that DH got me a few years ago that I cannot close to zip. Today made me realize how far from this body shape I've veered.
Had lunch/dinner at the Thai place. Ate close to half of my meal, will eat the rest for lunch tomorrow and then aim is a lighter dinner.
Rain is moving through our area now - radar shows nothing but it's raining in our yard and coming in from west speedily. Plan to trail walk as soon as it clears out...with DH and pooch.
Activity on weekend has been less than when working during the week, but still managed 10K steps.
OneByOne - Hugs going over the skies to reach you. You're exactly right - do not abandon yourself/your goals and desires. Credits for weighing.
Bill - Love your line about relief at being done with treadmill vs. annoyance at end of a dance. That's awesome! Went through NPR's best books of 2014 and put some on hold at the library and recomended some to DH so he spent a while doing the same thing...
SuzLen - I coughed up the money a number of years ago for a really good treadmill and it lasted me about eight years before knee issues forced me to stop pounding on it. I used it so, so often in the winters and heat of summer. Good call, there!
Maryann - I thought this but don't think I wrote it - you have no idea how many children's lives you've touched through and how many will be thinking of you as their lives unfold in years to come.
KarenRN - You've been in my thoughts today - hope you're well and safe vibes following you on your hikes! Doubt you're accessing this but look forward to your return when you're finished!
Love2Garden - Your alone time with DD sounds like time I would have loved with my mom. Good for you for enjoying that as well. We've still made no further progress on the front garden, 2/3 torn out. Embarrassing. THIS week. I say again.
Last edited by nationalparker; 08-23-2015 at 07:47 PM.
Yes I'm still here even though I'm not posting I'm reading most days. I've been in Washington for 10 days. It was a 1600 mile drive over 3 days. Had a couple of good hikes with family last weekend near Mt. St Helens. The past couple of days were near the coast for Memorial service for dh's aunt who died last February. She was quite old and disabled and the memorial was much more of a family reunion. Now dh has returned to AZ and I'm with friends. I drove into Seattle today and it is so hazy from the smoke of the fires that are in the middle and eastern part of the state. Makes me nervous about how conditions will be for my backpacking trip, but that is 8 days from now so lots can happen.
For the most part eating has been good but yesterday I had some wonderful homemade desserts after the memorial service. My mil recommended the grape tart. Sounds strange, but was it ever good. Grapes were fresh with a delicious crust and whipped cream on top. It was easy to get back on plan today because I'm just not used to such rich food, but I sure enjoyed it yesterday.
Thinking about all of you, but days are just too crazy to be any kind of consistent with posting.
Diet Coaches/Buddies – After a morning snack that was too large, I just declared it to be lunch and moved on, CREDIT moi. When I chatting with friends, I find it easy to keep picking up food from a large spread.
Worked on clearing out the clutter in my office to get prepared for taking classes this fall. I made some progress, but am annoyed that it was so small. The misty-rain didn't provide any water for the plants but did make the notion of walking unappealing. DW pulled about 20 items from our basement to put on the curb where, by local rules, they are FREE. Twice I re-arranged them to make them more attractive. Over several days, about 16 have been taken. I'm so happy.
onebyone – Congrats on your best day ever at the farmers' market. Ouch for the uncertainty with your MIL and for having to stand down weight-gain eating in your face. Kudos for recognizing that you're being harsh with yourself so that you can find your path forward.
Joy (gardenerjoy) – This is a key signal of serious intent, "starting today!"
nationalparker – LOL at "hiking boot/sneaker purchasing missions" - Yep, all excursions to buy clothes are like military missions to me. Kudos for focusing on a motivation for staying your path.
Karen (karenrn) - Hope you enjoy hiking near Mt. St. Helens today on Vesuvius Day. Don't even think about it, LOL. It blows my mind every time I see a picture of how rapidly plants began to grow again after the eruption. Kudos for mostly good eating while on your adventure.
curlyjax - LOL at "freeeeeeezing" - you'd think that the Atlantic would be warm by August. Good first step back into healthy eating, "big stirfry with lots of veggies."
Sandy (love2garden) - Jealous here that you'll have a freezer full of hand caught wild trout. I do love reading about your good times with your DD.
SuzLen - Congrats for looking relaxed despite the turmoil of school starting. Good luck finding a treadmill. It should be possible since most that are purchased are hardly used.
Readers -
Quote:
Chapter 1 Are You Trapped?
How These Things Usually Go
If you've tried to lose weight before, chances are your experience went something like this: . . .
6.You expect that every week will go as smoothly as the first few. You think, "At this rate, I'm sure to get to my goal in no time." And then you fool yourself into thinking you'll be able to stop dieting and go back to eating your favorite foods, and the pounds will stay off. Finally. You think you've really figured it out this time.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., Deborah Beck Busis, The Diet Trap Solution, Train Your Brain to Lose Weight and Keep It Off for Good (Blue book), pg. 6
I had another hungry day, yesterday, but I stuck to my plan, proving that it is possible!
Jumping into the pedometer discussion, I've been using a FitBit One for over a year and I'm very pleased. I'm not hung up on accuracy, though. I assume that it's consistent and that's more important to me. For the last several months, I've been aiming for 21 days a month with 8000 steps or more, and mostly succeeding. It really helps motivate my walks, appreciate the spontaneous exercise of shopping in big box stores or the mall, and gets me to march in place or around the house in the evening to meet my goal.
WI: -0.45 kg, Exercise: +40 975/1300 minutes for August, Food: 100% op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
Hugs to onebyone and Lexxiss and any one else who is struggling today.
Poignant weekend and scale is three pounds high above ticker. Oh Well. Much was done and said with many important people in my life and all of it was with grace, dignity, humor and love. So I let go of the food I ate and face today. I have marked my calendar in rainbow colors for 21 days which is the cleanse portion of my program which that allowed me to be successful years ago. It is only three weeks, sensible, and healthy. This is my top priority. Focus for today "I am not hungry, I am experiencing cravings because my body has become addicted again to food that will not allow me to be victorious through menopause."
Lexxiss: My family, too, feels hopeless as a units. There are many hostile factions and the days of a unified holiday are over. Many times I have to force myself to focus on my individual relationships and stop jumping into the muck of grief. For me, it is time to accept what is or I will have no serenity.
Love2garden: I feel a little bit of afterburn right now. I was frank, honest and loving with my friend but there is still a great deal of loss and hurt that must be honored before I can build a new foundation with her.
curleyjax: good luck with your new plan. I think routine is very important for healthy eating.
suzlen: School is a bottomless pit of need. You are the best resource your children have and you must protect your health if only for them in the long run.
nationaparker: Thank you so much for the nice thought. I am proud that I have done my best to help despite my many shortcomings. And I have always tried to teach my students to honor themselves warts and all. Sometimes we are the most helpful to others by accepting our limitations honestly. This was certainly true my first year of teaching. I was going through a divorce and cried everyday before the bell. I felt like a mess. Years later, a girl from that year tracked me down and asked me to her wedding. I had been her favorite teacher. We never know who we will help.
BBE: Your excerpts from the Diet Trap are so helpful for me right now. I am restarting, went to the store for new, cleared the shelves of old non program. It is good to remember most of my problem is NOT about the food but about my thinking.
Happy Hello to You All,
maryann: It was good to hear from you! Yes, school can be a bottomless pit of need. Friday I was pinched hard (with bruising) and scratched (broke the skin in several places) by a five year old who was throwing a tantrum. Apparently she thinks it will get her what she wants. I had to visit the nurse and file a report. My arm ached all day. Yah.......I love my job I appreciated your response about the ache not being hunger but an addictive response. I need to read that often.
gardenerjoy: your post reminded me that my husband has a fitbit that he has not been wearing....I need to ask if I can use it until he decides he wants to again...I wonder if he will share it.
BillBB: LOL at the snack becoming declared a meal. I can take things to the curb and it will be gone within the hour. I don't know if there are lurkers in the neighborhood or just lucky drive-bys.
karenrn: That is a lot of miles to cover in three days. My daughter lived in NW Washington for a couple of years. I loved to visit and I loved the fresh berries and lavender there. I was a tad sad when she moved.
nationalparker: I am glad to know a good treadmill can last a long time. My DH is supportive of whatever I want, I just want to make sure those $ are on something with quality.
love2garden: trout! Reminds me of growing up in Arizona. We camped nearly every weekend because my father was a guide hunter. We ate trout we caught from the streams. I loved it! It sounds like it was a great weekend for all of ya'll.
Well, my best laid plans were right on target (CREDIT) until DS pulled some appetizer snacks out of the oven just as I was coming into the house. And....today as I was leaving one of the cafeteria ladies gave me a pie she made to thank me for helping out in the cafeteria all last week. What do you do? Of course we enjoyed some together. She was so grateful and so excited for me to try her pie because it was a special recipe. That wouldn't of been a problem if I hadn't caved into DS's offer, too.
So...in my phone alarm, at the crucial times of day I find I am eating mindlessly - I have put in reminders to exercise self-control. I have four in a row - in 1/2 increments. I hope it helps me tomorrow!! I know I can do it - I proved it over and over again this summer.
It was good to see all of your posts today - have a great evening.
Not my best effort today...regrouped by making a late dinner of bruschetta with fresh tomatoes and onions. Salvaged the day I suppose. Only 8900 steps with no activity today. Forgot to set a reminder to walk around at work. Could have done better. Good breakfast...lunch out with a friend was grilled chicken sandwich and the requisite fries bc I wanted them vs ordering salad. At least we walked there...
Diet Coaches/Buddies – Did gym, CREDIT moi, without the class because of renovations. That's a bummer because I don't work as hard outside of the class. I did get to do some weight exercises that I only do alone.
Eating was good enough, CREDIT moi. I was about to take a much anticipated walk when I realized that I had a meeting - Ouch! Almost missed it. There, I was served . . . blueberries freshly picked from New Hampshire. That was a surprise.
Joy (gardenerjoy) – When I wore a pedometer, I'd also do that evening march around the house to meet my goal. That reminds me that I should dig it out.
maryann - Kudos for facing that difficult social situation. Thanks for the great, "It is good to remember most of my problem is NOT about the food but about my thinking."
nationalparker – Drooling over "bruschetta with fresh tomatoes and onions" - you make some of the best stuff.
SuzLen - Ouch for a specially made pie on top of a DS offer of appetizers - that's a real challenge. [LOL at the thought of lurkers waiting for stuff to hit the curb.]
Readers -
Quote:
Chapter 1 Are You Trapped?
How These Things Usually Go
If you've tried to lose weight before, chances are your experience went something like this: . . .
7. But then . . . your best friend or your mother or your daughter-in-law makes a special dinner for the two of you. Caesar salad, lasagna, and homemade garlic bread with lots of butter. And - how nice! - she made brownies with crushed nuts, just the way you like them.
Well, you might reason, just this once. She worked so hard. You really want her to know how touched you are. You'll just eat part of the salad. But it tastes so good! And you don't want to hurt her feelings by not finishing it. She serves you a really big portion of lasagna. It'll be okay. Just this once. The bread - hard to stop at just one piece. And you can't pass up the brownies.
Judith S. Beck, Ph.D., Deborah Beck Busis, The Diet Trap Solution, Train Your Brain to Lose Weight and Keep It Off for Good (Blue book), pg. 6
morning coaches!
Some of our machines are conspiring against us! Yesterday the oven kept turning itself off towards the end of cooking my dinner, and the main computer has developed some kind of virus thingy that announces you have a virus, call this number to fix it, etc. Sigh. I'm more worried about the oven- it was being touchy about staying turned on for awhile, then it stopped doing that until yesterday. Sometimes I just don't want to be a grownup and have to deal with all these things!!
In the car the other day DH started talking about something he had read about- cognitive behavior therapy. I rolled my eyes- yes I am quite familiar with that idea! He was surprised, I guess I haven't really talked about Beck. So that was kind of funny!
Gardenerjoy- I like your goal of 21 days with 8000 steps, that seems very doable. I have only used cheapie pedometers which seem very unreliable, so I will look into that idea too. Karenrn- good to hear from you! Your trip sounds so exciting! Bill- good for you for taking a class! The fall is so connected to starting school for me, its great you'll be a part of that atmosphere.
Sometimes I just don't want to be a grownup and have to deal with all these things!!
Oh, do I ever know what you mean! You worded it so well. Hope the oven cooperates.
Bill Fresh Picked BLUEBERRIES!!! Ohhh
SuzLen Wasn't it fun camping, fishing and eating fresh fish?!!! We went to mountains several times in laate April and May and early June with our kids from time our middle daughter was almost 2. Last daughter was carried on special seat my husband designed to keep her safe as we all biked into the mountains.
That youngest daughter works with the mentally disabled and absolutely loves her work - often going beyond quiting time and going to help on weekends. Wish I saw her more often, she is a fire cracker of activity and great ideas that she can carry thru, too.
I'm just glad to be in the slow down stage of life. DH and I enjoyed our coffee in the garden in the shade with lots of color to see and birds and insects to watch. Thank goodness we both love being out in nature.
Today's challenge is an early and unknown supper. I do know who the caterer is and there's some hope that I'll have good selections. So, my plan is "focus on the veggies and take tiny servings of anything else I want to try."
I'm also skipping my second afternoon snack so that I can have it after I get home if I want. I sometimes try to fool myself into thinking that I won't want a snack after an early supper, but I know that's not true. So, I'm acting on my experience and planning my second snack for after supper.
WI: -0.35 kg, Exercise: +40 1015/1300 minutes for August, Food: 100% op, Read my Advantages and Responses: yes
Sunday. A Sunday in August to be precise.
Monday - Vesuvius Day (79 A.D.)
I appreciated your response about the ache not being hunger but an addictive response. I need to read that often.