heheheheheheh! love it Jessica

lmao!!!~ all those are just so hilarous...made for a funny day at work..and the others enjoyed them as well : )

Exercise is Good For You

It is well documented that for
every minute that you exercise, you add one minute to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months
in a nursing home at $5000 per month.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the **** she is.

The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

And last but not least: I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

Cute!

This one is so true for ME, Karen...

"I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing."

A pompous minister was seated next to a cowboy on a flight to North Dakota. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would also like a drink.

He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a brazen whore than let liquor touch my lips."

The cowboy then handed his drink back to the flight attendant and said, "I didn't know we had a choice."

good one!