rainbow is there anyway to job hunt while you still have this one to see if there is anything better out there? It must be tough not being happy where u r. Good job on keeping within your calories though I know what you mean about feeling lethargic.

I am exercising but not being good with food. Sleep deprivation has thrown my whole body clock off and I can't get back on track. I need caffeine to get through the day and I am not drinking enough water,,,, I know I need to just get on with it but I have no energy.....
I hope Lali gets better soon as I can't actively loose weight like this., Sigh
I guess you have great times and rough times..,, I am so close to not looking fat anymore that it really fustrates me that i am a comfort eater and can't bring myself to not eat while I am waiting for my sick child to fall asleep at 2 in the morning. ugh sorry for my rant... just had to get it out cuz I am so mad at life sometimes

sun I really hope your daughter gets better soon, I can only imagine how much extra stress that is. I am also guilty of not drinking enough water, I find it hard because I just don't feel thirsty all that often. At least you are still exercising, I commend you on that. Don't apologise for what isn't really a rant - don't even apologise if it is a rant! That's what we're here for.

I have been browsing job websites to see if there is anything interesting...but the truth of the matter is that there aren't a lot of jobs out there at the moment and I'd rather stay in one I don't enjoy that much than move to one I enjoy even less and get less pay for. I think I need to get back into my painting and try to work towards exhibitions again. Right now I don't feel like it but I know that it is what I want to be doing once I can motivate myself to do it.

I guess I have to admit that my depression is back and it's hard to do that. Urgh. I cannot believe it's Monday. Also from now on my boyfriend will be doing 12 hour days at university, so that makes me a little more sad. As harsh as it sounds, I think I'd rather that if he was doing that, I was alone at home waiting for him rather than with his parents. I just feel like I still have to make an effort to be sociable rather than just doing my own thing in the evenings.

rainbow Oh I am so sorry you are feeling depressed love....it must be hard feeling like that and still having to "act" normal around you bf's family. Just make sure you are getting 1/2 hour of sunlight a day. it will help I promise. I am depressed right now too what with lali not getting better and not knowing what she has...but I caught myself today and am restarting after a bad week of not caring. I am so close and I will not let this backslide. I hope you do start painting again.

So as for me..... my neighbor and I are banding together to get me through this month and she is holding me accountable with my eating and exercising. we are around the same weight and we are going to make it a friendly race to the end I truly need this as i am slacking and there is a wedding at the end of the month. A good 5 more lbs off would look awesome!
Hope you all had a great weekend!

Hi ladies! I'd like to jump in if you don't mind the title is exactly how I feel lol

Sun, I know exactly how you feel about exercising but not doing good with food. I have been engaging in self destructive behaviour, like trying to limit myself too much. Then the evening comes and I mindlessly eat DH has been messing with my gym schedule. I can't blame him, he's had job interviews and the like to do. Then when I take my son to the Y with me to get some "unscheduled" exercise in, I find child watch is closed early on Saturday. Bummer. And I had a major AF fake out, I have only had 1 PPAF, and I thought I had lost enough weight to bring it back, but it was spotting at the most, but all the crabbyness and bloating a girl could want.

I just need some accountability! I have downsized my food journal to a pocket notebook that way I can keep it in my back pocket The little things are starting to add up, then I pretend I haven't been grazing all day and rationalize that I deserve a "treat" or a bigger meal then I do. LeSigh. Anyway, new week, and back on the wagon sort of, can't go to the gym today, DH is at another interview I do think I am going to dig out an exercise video and at least do that My son thinks it's funny when mama works out, and he makes an excellent Kettlebell

Sorry to unload on you ladies, and for the long post, I guess I needed to get some of that out!

kriket84 welcome! I am sorry your workout is getting put on the back burner. Its hard when we have to take into account other people's schedules and kids

We are usually on here daily but I guess we are all busy,
I am in the hospital right now while they test my daughter to see if we can figure out why she has been so sick. So far it doesn't look like she has seizures but I hope we can find some answers/.... I look like I am a hundred years old due to lack of sleep. I can't even imagine what she feels like.
Needless to say my exercise is on hold and my eating habits are whacked out... I had 4 slices of pizza for dinner plus a candy bar. ugh

sun Oh dear, my thoughts are with you and your family, I hope they can figure it out and get her better soon! Don't worry about the eating and exercise, it's important to be where you're needed right now and you can get back into it when you can. I hope you are ok.

kriket Hey there, you're most welcome to join in. I hope your exercise dvd went well the other day.

My exercise is lacking...I am seriously having to force myself to do it at the moment. I also really meant to go to my studio today but I'm having a freak out about going to the doctor tomorrow - TMI warning - I have been having blood from my nether regions at times when it shouldn't be bleeding, and it's got me really worried. I have to go to the dentist tomorrow as well - looks like it will be a fun filled day! At least I am keeping my calories in check, although they aren't coming from the best places (tuna and cheese grilled sandwich for lunch haha).

The only good thing about today so far is that I jogged on the treadmill for 16 minutes straight (out of a total of 35 mins on the treadmill, 20 of which were jogging). But 16 minutes straight! Last time I only got to 8 minutes!

rainbow Way to go on the running! So proud of you! I can't wait till I can run more and then sculpt my body . I can see it happening.

So we are home from the hospital and my hubby is going to watch our daughter tonight so I can sleeeepppp. Hopefully I will have energy when I get up! Wanna run and go for a yoga class to offset my two bad days of eating at the hospital., I really ate bad! candy and pizza and soda...ugh!

Hey ladies thanks for the continual support.

sun I hope you managed to get a good rest in!

Stephanie Well done on the pizza! I don't think I would be that controlled - I think pizza could be the one thing where I'll have problems because 2 slices of store bought pizza pack such a calorie punch for so little food and I know I'll still be hungry!

I beat myself again yesterday, did 20 minutes straight of jogging on the treadmill! Followed by 5 minutes of walking. I really was so surprised, considering before all of this after 2 minutes I'd have to stop.
I can't get an appointment with a gynecologist until November 24. I'm so worried. They've put me on the "urgent" waiting list in case another appointment gets cancelled and I can take it, but I hate this waiting to find out what's wrong. I have to have a colposcopy, whatever that is. It freaks me out.
I also went to the dentist yesterday and I have to wear plastic retainers to sleep in at night to stop my jaw clenching (apparently stress-related) causing damage.

Ugh. Also my boyfriend has insanely long university hours at the moment trying to get his thesis done, which is totally fine, but I am starting to get lonely and miss him and want to do fun things! I need some sort of change somewhere to stop this unhappiness.

Anyway I better go get ready for work! No exercise today, my leg muscles are killing me from the jogging yesterday! I'm worried about caving in to pizza tonight...I know if I make it myself it's a lower calorie alternative, but I really want cheeeeesy tony pepperoni pizza from Dominos.

Oh on a plus side, I'm still losing! 75.2kg/165.7pounds - close enough, so I moved my ticker down.

stargzr HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Good job on your pizza control. Pizza is my major yummy fav.

rainbow Doctors and hospital...ugh.... I have the same trouble with clenching my jaw! I guess I need to go and see the dentist.

Well my eating is still horrible...but now that I am home I will get back on track soon I hope. Unfortunetly still feeling tired and down. I cleaned the whole house so hopefully that counts as exercise. lol.

Stephanie!! How did I miss that it was your birthday! I guess that's what I get for skim reading! I'm sorry!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

Sun - I hope you feel better soon. Is your daughter any better? I'm sure cleaning the house counts as exercise!

Urhg...looks like it's going to rain and I am annoyed because I walked to work and really want to walk home again but don't really want to get wet haha...well... I've decided I'll walk until it rains, find shelter, and get my boyfriend to come get me. My work is only about 2-3 mins drive from his house, hence why I should walk more often, it's only about a 22 minute walk each way!

I looked up Dominos website online for New Zealand and luckily they have nutritional information so if pizza happens, I can sway it my way haha.

Hey Stephanie!

I thought the thread had almost died, I was a little sad!
It's definitely a colposcopy rather than a colonoscopy - to do with the cervix I think rather than the colon. My normal doctor is ok in that you can get an appointment in the same couple of days but as this is a specialist, I guess the waiting list is long. I got called up for a cancellation but I couldn't make the appointment so I'm still stuck waiting til next month. I did end up getting pizza and it was pretty good! Will definitely keep it in mind for treat evenings or times when fast food/take out is inevitable.

It must be frustrating to be maintaining when you don't want to be! You must be looking pretty great now though...just keep it up, I'm sure you'll drop soon!

I'm down to 75kg / 165.9 pounds I think. Yesterday was a little lower but now my differing scales are causing me confusion. Even the one at my parents that I thought was accurate I now think is kind of off. Urgh. Oh well. Today I'm wearing jeans that I couldn't even button up 2.5 months ago. Actually not even a month ago. I still have a teeny muffin top, and they're not the most comfortable pair of pants (too low rise for my tummy haha) but I am wearing them! I hope they'll stretch out a bit actually.

I'm getting my hair recoloured and cut today, trying to decide whether I should change it at all. The ends are looking a bit dry and quite a few are split, I'm considering 2 inches off the lot ... but knowing me I'll freak out and just get a trim haha.

I hope everyone else is doing ok!

stargzr rainbow hello my dears. I am sorry its been so long! We were back in the hospital and still idea about what was going on. We came home and literally over night she recovered and stopped throwing up and spasing. she is back to normal and things have been getting better around here. i have worked out 3 days in a row and and and am slowly getting my eating back together. i am not going to g hardcore this week cuz my anniversary is on Sunday and I am celebrating tomorrow when dinner a movie and a night in a fancy hotel with Jacuzzi in the room!
Will reevaluate on Sun and be good the next week.
I am not where I wanted to be for the wedding at the end of next week,,,but hey I have a child with cerebral palsy and other issues and I am damn well pleased that I am down almost 40 lbs since last year and not just where I was!
Hope you are doing well and lets start this thread a running again,'kisses and hugs