Diane - I really, really love what you said. You are right. When I was 278, it was just plain uncomfortable. Uncomfortable to sit in chairs, to try to find clothes that fit and looked good, to meet new people, to see myself in photographs. It is such a good reminder for me to think about it when it gets tough. Thank you.
Mandy - I don't love corn dogs, but I love the idea of eating that kind of food in front of the TV and just enjoying yourself. This is what a lot of thin people do -- make "good" choices 90% of the time and allow themselves flexibility other times. For many thin people, that's easy. For me, it's really, really hard. But you are making it work. 10 pounds down without risking your milk supply. It's fantastic.
Muguet - Welcome! Excited to have you here! I, too, have put in hard work and seen success only to follow it up with regain. And I, too, have periods where I just don't think I can put in the effort to make it continue to happen again. But this place is really helpful for that. I learn so much and get inspired so often when I come here. I am trying to go cold turkey on my addiction to sugar. I have tried the "allow myself a little so I quit craving" theory, which has worked in the past, but I have finding that if I take that crumb in the donut box, it has been making me even crazier. I'm interested in how you approach that. And you've joined a group that does a lot of "public exercise." I hope we can encourage you to get over that fear.
I finally weighed today. I always want huge numbers, but I am down roughly three pounds in the last 9 days or so. That's a great result, especially if it's consistent. And I didn't have a perfect week foodwise, though I had a good week. I am getting into my exercise groove as well. I did a 27-minute treadmill challenge at my gym. I hadn't planned on doing the challenge -- just the normal C25K program. But one of the trainers accosted me as I got on the treadmill and encouraged me to do it. I was very glad I did, as I pushed myself just a little bit harder. Slightly faster, slightly longer running intervals, slightly faster walking intervals, a 30-second sprint at the end. In all, I completed 1.83 miles in 27 minutes. A 14.45 minute per mile pace. Slow for most runners. Lightning fast for me. =)
I am feeling much better about this whole thing. Sliding into the exercise thing. The food thing was pretty good yesterday. My husband was grilling, and I asked him to grill some chicken breast for me, and he gladly complied, so I got to "eat with the family." We had also decided that our children would benefit socially from learning how to do some basic line dances, so we got everyone together, popped up Youtube, and all did the electric slide. Not a lot of exercise, but a fun, non-food-based, slightly-physical activity. My husband is a very good dancer. Me, not so much. But awesome to not be struggling with eating so much I feel too full to even do some electric slide.
My posts are becoming hella long. I appreciate having a forum to address them, though, since my husband could not be less enthusiastic about listening to me ramble on about this stuff.
I am trying to go cold turkey on my addiction to sugar. I have tried the "allow myself a little so I quit craving" theory, which has worked in the past, but I have finding that if I take that crumb in the donut box, it has been making me even crazier. I'm interested in how you approach that. And you've joined a group that does a lot of "public exercise." I hope we can encourage you to get over that fear.
Thank you so much for your warm welcome and encouragement!! I'm part of a sugar addiction group on Facebook but found that really helped me is exactly what you said, having a little bit to stay sane (most people on there have a zero tolerance policy). Every time I've successfully cut out sugar, if I have just one bit of it, I will binge for days. I am gaining inspiration from Michael Pollan and decided that I will only have treats if they are homemade or from a specialty shop, and not from a package (I'm a Kit Kat Chunky addict). Does that mean going to a coffee shop and grabbing freshly baked goods everyday or baking for myself weekly? No, but rather its allowing myself to say yes when I'm in good company and enjoying quality ingredients even though they might not be healthful if consumed in large quantities.
Today is exciting because I'm betting on September for being a successful month. I'm embarking on a routine which will hopefully take away the boredom and coziness of summer vacation. I'm also thinking of trying out stress reliving strategies right away, like yoga and meditation, because yes, I am a stress eater.
Mandy: Thanks for sharing those inspirations! They're good to read. Sounds like you're doing well, even though you're eating dirty rolls! ha!
Muguet: Welcome! Glad you're joining us!
Laurie: Well, that's a good loss! Congrats! Glad you enjoyed your treadmill challenge. You need to quit saying you're slow, those speeds are pretty darned fast!
I didn't end up going running last night because I had some errands. But, went to Body Pump this morning and then if it doesn't rain, we'll go hiking tonight. If it rains, I'll probably go to the gym and run.
Muguet - I love your strategy! When I think I am not going to allow myself to have sugar ever again, I find myself vulnerable to the times when I get a little lax, then decide I need to take full advantage of it because I will be incredibly strict with myself again. That's different than allowing myself to eat crumbs from the donut box, which brings on cravings. And it feels both "in control" and not overly rigid. I am going to have to think carefully about a real strategy here. I am also seeing a therapist to help me stay on track this time. We talk about coping strategies for those frenzied, anxious times when I am likely to binge. It's slow, but I think it's helping.
Diane - Thank you for helping me put things in perspective. Just thinking about you makes me smile. =) Hope you get in a great hike with your son tonight and that the weather is perfect. Or, alternatively, that you have a fantastic run.
We're going into a long holiday weekend, and not traveling anywhere. Instead, we have activities planned with the kids, including water balloon and shaving cream fights and monster movies. I hope I can stay on track and that we can have a great time. I am trying to avoid providing the ice cream and cookies and other "celebration" foods. I am really fine with having those sometimes, but I want to avoid making it an expected part of any celebration.
Guess who had a big ol' pasta dinner at like, 9pm last night?!
This girl! Because I'm a dummy, and didn't adequately prepare (or properly read the recipe) for the garlic cheesy bread thing I planned to make with it. It was yummy though, but I am clearly suffering the water-retention effects. I didn't step on the scale yet, but my rings are a bit tight. Instead of focusing on that, I went and made a ricotta/sour cream blueberry pseudo-cheesecake type thing. Not quite sure where it falls on the bakery scale, but it's tasty and I'm taking it with me for a get together tonight.
I've been all about getting in the kitchen and making yummy things lately. I usually only do that when something is really bothering me. I enjoy the work of baking, and then I have the treat to shove in my face for the comfort factor. I'm not consciously aware of something bothering me, but if it's there, I'm sure it will work itself to the surface of my brain eventually.
Anyway. Yesterday I did 2 miles with Leslie (plus warm up and cool down) and it was good. I haven't exercised much in the last 18 months, with the pregnancy and baby, so I've been anticipating these "easy" workouts to kick my butt. Well. I do get hot and sweaty, and my heart rate goes up... but my breathing is barely above normal, even in the most intense parts. Kinda makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong!
I have 3 miles planned for this afternoon... after hubby gets back from getting the oil changed, and before we need to leave to visit with friends. I successfully did 3 miles the day before yesterday and didn't die, so I'm gonna push to do it again. That's how you build endurance right?
I love food. Shopping for ingredients. Finding new recipes. Preparing meals and desserts and side dishes. Smelling the food cooking. Eating it. Watching other people enjoy what I've made. Everything about food makes me happy.
To quote my nephew, "Food is gross. I wish I didn't have to eat, ever!"
Mandy - Ah! The late night pasta dinner. So delicious. Sometimes fun. Usually the genesis of some water retention. I have a child who is not enthusiastic about food either. Sometimes, it feels like it would be so easy if I just felt the way he did. **sigh** I know where you're coming from.
Had a fun Labor Day weekend. Didn't go anywhere -- just planned and executed family activities. It is really nice to be fit enough to be able to do everything we had planned without any real difficulty. Which helps me with my scale stress this morning. I am up two pounds. First time in a while that I have been up. Weighing weekly helps with that. I generally don't weigh on low-sleep nights, and I only got about four hours of sleep last night, so I know that messes with the scale. And I baked cookies twice last weekend. We had planned on just buying some from the store, but I did not want to reject the request, as I have been avoiding baking for months. (I'm not as tough as you, Mandy.) So, I ate cookie dough both nights, and one cookie each night. So I'm sure that has something to do with the uptick as well.
So, new week. I am recording the weight gain and going to be refocused on drinking enough water, consuming higher-quality foods, and getting enough sleeeeeeeeep. I did run yesterday - not great, but it got done. And I'm lifting tonight as well.
Mandy: It is so hard when you like to cook, and can make yummy things like you've mentioned. I can't just cook it and not eat, so I have to watch what I do. But, I love to bake and cook, too. I think that every once in a while, you go ahead and indulge. Then move on. Sounds like you have lots of moving on going on with you and your walks! That's awesome!!!!!
Laurie: Well, you're ahead of me. I didn't get on the scale this morning. I just didn't want to know today. Maybe tomorrow. I think I'm up, maybe back to 230-231. I don't know. I just didn't want to face it today.
Had a good weekend. I never did get a really long hike in, but it was relaxing anyway. There were some rainy days, but we had a good time. Back to Body Pump this morning, and I packed my lunch so that I can stay in line with what I'm supposed to be doing. I hope to hike this afternoon, after work. Time is slipping away and before you know it, the days will be too short and it will be too dark to hike after work. (Already missing summer....)
Diane - I am so with you! I love fall, and I love the fall weather, but it is always far, far too short. I am really hoping it stretches into mid-November at least. Sometimes, avoiding the scale is the best choice. Glad your weekend was relaxing, and that you are on pace with both activity and food this week. Hopefully, the scale will be kinder than you anticipate.
I had a surprisingly good day yesterday. I am trying to eat smaller meals more often throughout the day. I've tried it many times before, with limited success. Yesterday, though, I was able to do it without difficulty. I also got 12K steps in and had a (subpar) lifting session in the evening. I really wanted sugar last night, but was delighted with the sugar free bomb pop I ate instead. Instead of sabotaging me (per usual), yesterday's scale blip motivated me. I am going to do a week free of "cheating." Incidentally, it's shark week for me, starting yesterday, so I may have been retaining some water. Knowing that may have helped my mental state as well. Regardless, maybe the scale might actually be becoming an ally again instead of my mortal enemy.
I just spent most of my morning chasing my child around the house. He is quick. Kid crawls as fast as I can walk! I should get duster things for his knees, because he loves to crawl on the wood floors. Probably a waste of money though, since he'll probably be walking soon. He already lets go and stands without support. Oy. I'm not ready for that!
I've changed up my exercise a little bit, I've added a steps goal to my WATP workouts, because I wasn't getting as much activity throughout the day without a step goal. Either I'm just a "still" person, or I'm lazy, or I'm goal oriented. Whichever! My planner plan has been working for me, as far as exercise goes. Last week I actually posted about a pound gain. But I also think my monthly nemesis is about to make its grand return after having the baby. Not super excited about that. I haven't missed it.
Lawn care people are here right now, and so my allergies are going to be yucky until tomorrow, boo. I'll be spending some time today doing meal planning for the next 2 weeks, so I can put a grocery list together. Since it's a 30 minute plus drive to a decent grocery store, we go every 2 weeks and stock up. Frozen veggies, ftw.
And count me as another vote for fall. It's so lovely here during the fall. I took this picture of the cemetery across the street when we first 2 years ago (not last fall, I was too pregnant to make the walk up and down the hill!) that shows how lovely fall is here!
Laurie: I need a week of no cheating, too. I am trying to be a little more disciplined since I seem to be slipping just a little. Glad that your smaller meals plan is working.
Mandy: Ha! I was thinking that when you said your son is fast crawling around that he might really put you through your paces when he gets to walking. It is fun, but they keep you running!!
Went on a hike last night. It was a new trail and it was really pretty. We'll have to go back to that one. I went to spin class this morning, and I'm going to try to run after work today. I have some laundry to do tonight, but I think I can still run for at least a little bit.
Went shopping today. Hubby found frozen fried twinkies. Guess what is going in the oven for dessert tomorrow, for after our tacos (that I load up with veggies - corn, black beans, salsa, guac... little meat, little cheese, little sour cream)? I'm only gonna put 2 in, so I don't get tempted to have more than one.
Finally starting to cool off. The high temp today was 80 something instead of 90+ so YAY for that! Bring on the 50s and 60s and hoodie weather. I can't wait.
Hope everyone had a good weekend. I am doing so so. I've been trying to follow the Ideal Protein protocol (low carb low fat, low cal - you use 3 packets of their products a day and then 6 oz of cooked protein and 4-5 servings of specified veggies) and have no problem at all during the week - the weekends I screw up. The thing is - I'm not even hungry when I am eating things I shouldn't. I don't know if it is that I haven't really dealt with or allowed myself to grieve the passing of my best friend or some sort of self sabotage (or both). Or I am bored or thirsty - So I screw up one day and then it takes me 3 days to get back in to ketosis - so really I am throwing away 3-4 days worth of their food every week by messing up.
Just thinking out loud... well, I guess thinking via typing. While I haven't been posting - I have been reading every day and keeping up with how fantastic each of you are doing and how we are all figuring out our triggers and challenges. And I agree Laurie that it is so necessary to have a place to come and talk to people who get it and are so supportive. So thank you all for being a part of this group! I'm glad you are all here and we are in this together.
Kat: First of all, sorry to hear about your friend, that's too bad. I do think the weekends are what I struggle with the most, too. I'm not falling the same type of plan as you, but with me, I can be on track with calories all week, but spending the weekend over goal can pretty much kill the progress of the week. Such a struggle...
Mandy: You'll have to let us know how the Twinkies tasted. It actually doesn't sound great to me, but.... curious as to how it tastes!!!
Well, I'm regrouping... again... and I've updated my ticker to reflect my couple of weeks of being off track. I'm refocusing to get back to logging all of my food and exercising again. I had a little hip pain/stiffness, but now I need to get back at it. Went to spin this morning, and I plan to run tonight, at least for a little while.
Diane: thank you. She passed away 4 weeks ago this Wednesday. How the heck did that go by so fast? It still feels like I just found out. While I miss her so much - I knew from the minute she told me her diagnosis that she wouldn't make it. I just wasn't expecting it to happen so fast. 2 months from diagnosis to passing. She had just retired in mid-April, didn't feel well at the end of May, they said she had pneumonia. She was diagnosed with stage IIIB lung cancer on June 20th and passed away on August 17th after doing radiation, which caused blood clots in the lungs - one which broke free and caused a stroke. She never really recovered from that. Never even got to try chemo. What I take consolation in is that she died without the support of machines, without any tubes in her, as was her wish. I'm glad she isn't in pain anymore. But man, do I miss her. She's the kind of person I wish I was. My almost complete opposite.
Sorry - hope I didn't upset anyone with that ... just feels good to be able to say it to someone. I am a hardcore introvert and don't have many close friends and my parents and siblings are not very supportive people to be around.
Mandy: Frozen fried twinkies... well now that sounds interesting. Not quite sure I'd want one, but that's what I said about cheesecake until I tried it and now it is like lifeblood
Diane: I know you are fantastic with exercise... I think I lose weight just reading all of your activity! What type of food plan are you following? Calorie counting alone or in combo with something else?
I wish the weather was cooling off - but this is Florida, where is is summer for 10 months out of the year, winter for a month and spring for a month. I miss New York and the seasons - minus the winter one - y'all can keep that one!
Laurie: Shark week?!?! I love it!!!! Never heard it called that but I am so going to use that going forward.
