Diane - I can point to a few posts and thoughts in this thread that I think about often. So many people here are so incredible and inspirational. But one of those posts is your post after you returned from hunting. It was humbling and incredible. This post promises to be another one of them. Thank you for taking the time to share these thoughts.
Yesterday was a bust. I am the worst at cooking and staying on plan. I refuse to cook for the next week or so, and then when I do, I will cook healthier foods.
I am also going to do a version of what Diane discussed. I am going to create a spreadsheet and am going to adhere to it for the next 107 days, no matter what. I need to feel like I am in control again. I commit to doing that TODAY.
My interview went very well, and I just got another call for an interview on Tuesday for another job that I think I would love. I am really excited about the prospect of making more money, and it sounds like it will be better hours and much better benefits as well. But the transition will be tricky for maintaining course on the weight loss, so if I have a plan in place, that will help me make it work.
2015! If I lose the same amount of weight this year that I did last year, I will be where I want to be forever, I think.
Hi all. Pretty quiet here today! I went to spin class and found out that the instructor for Friday will also be the instructor on Mondays. And, Monday's class will be the heart rate monitor one too, which is way harder than the other one. Oh boy. Mondays used to be kind of an easy day, but not anymore. I guess that's a good thing....
Thanks, Laurie, for the kind words on the post. It was partially to myself to remember what has happened over the past year and to start gearing up for 2015! Your plan sounds good! I'm sure you'll do well and then after 107 days, you'll be in your pattern of good health and fitness!
I apologize for having been MIA during the holiday season. Working, trying to get to the court house and campus to get things wrapped up, and the holidays themselves pretty much consumed my life. I have to open in the morning so I'm going to make things short and sweet.
Luna and I went for our first 1.769 mile walk in a while on Thursday. It was wonderful. We'd done a few short walks but with the ground frozen, the creeks had caused some flooding so I'd not been able to do a long one recently. Now the overflow is at a point where most of it is frozen so you can sort of hop over it and call it good.
I got my first commission check and it ended up being $650. About $250 more than I'd actually budgeted for. Yay! I'm on target to hit somewhere relatively close to that for my commission check at the end of January as well. Double yay!
I've seen the wonderful 180's. Okay, so I saw 189 and it comes and goes. It's a work in progress. I've decided that any day I close, Luna gets a walk before work unless there are actual errands I have to run. Meaning no sitting around the house being bored out of my skull when I could be walking with Luna! Also, I'm going to start my strength training challenges. I think squats and planks. I'm not sure exactly what my goals are so they'll get a late start this month but I need to get back on them. Like for serious.
I'm officially going back to school for spring semester. All I'm waiting on at this point is for my transcript evaluation to be completed and then to get my financial aid letter. That's a big one because as soon as I know how much I'm getting, I can start figuring out what classes to take and how much I'll have left over to help lighten the stress for *drumroll* moving into my own place! Originally, I wanted to be in my own place by the 1st of the year. Clearly that didn't happen. I've been thinking about it a lot though and the reality is that things happen in their own time and when they're meant to and it's probably financially for the best that I had an extra month, at least, to save up. I've found a few places that are cheap enough that I could get into them without a roommate - though, admittedly, they're studio apartments and I'm not sure how I feel about that. But it's just me and Luna so I'm sure we'd make it work. That being said, Josh has informed me that I'm not allowed to move in anywhere until he's had a chance to take a look at and approve of the neighborhood.
Spring semester doesn't start until April, but I'm hoping to still be able to get into a place before then. The biggest reason? Well, I'd imagine that'd be clear - to be able to see Josh more often. Oh yes, Ladies. #TeamJ is still going strong. We didn't get to see each other for nearly a month between Thanksgiving and Christmas, what with the holidays, both of us working retail, and his finals, but we talked a lot. And then we've gotten to see each other a few times while he's been on break. His roommate got a job again recently so today I even got to hang out at his house. Ooooo. It was pretty nice. Yeah, still grinning from ear to ear.
We're planning to go to Emerald City ComicCon together - he, Helen, and I. I'm excited. A few nights ago, he sent me the sweetest message. Some have described it as cheesy and romantic. I don't know that I'd call it cheesy. I can see why some might, but I don't know. I guess the fact that I've never had something like that said to me before... It pretty clearly pushed me from nearly fallen but holding myself back to over the edge...
In case you're wondering, here's the message in question. <3
Quote:
To see you tonight...to feel you tonight would have been the highlight of a dull day. The first line of a long awaited novel or the opening notes to cherished piece of music. When I see you it is consistently the opening of a moment I desperately wanted and yet didn't comprehend just how much I needed. When I meet you I always smile without reserve . When I feel you all thought runs away like rain sliding off the rooftops. I hunger to explore you both body and mind. Goodnight Jessica.
Lastly, I'm pretty sure that we're a thing but not positive that we're a thing. He made a comment that the lady at the coffee stand couldn't have given him extra stamps because he was cute 'cause she could see we were together and you don't hit on someone in front of someone. Something like that. Also, he was totally, 100% flirting with the intention of follow-through like the entire time I was at Home Depot. And I was oblivious until, well, the day I realized I was flirting back. XD
Anyway, Ladies, I hope this finds you all in good spirits at the start of a wonderful new year. I've missed you all, I love you all, and I'm going to bed. Good night! <3
Oh, wait, one last addendum - I received an email from my ex wanting confirmation that our divorce was final. I sent him the link to where he can order the paperwork from. What I really wanted to send him was this:
I mean... When Josh's hands on my skin and kisses do more than sex with my ex ever did... Yeah. But I decided it would be petty of me to point out how little my ex knows about pleasing a woman or how poorly endowed he was. So I didn't. But the thought made me giggle and I thought ya'll might enjoy it. :P
Last edited by garnetrising; 01-03-2015 at 01:48 AM.
Good to hear everyone's thoughts on habits and being in for the long haul. The daily updates are great but also I am very interested in what the particular challenges that all face together as regainers and the different ways we get our minds around the task.
I was reading through some of my old posts the other day, trying to recover some of the wisdom from when I was at my strongest. One thing I used to say that tickled me is this adaptation of Rabbi Hillel: "The key to losing weight is eat less and moving more. All the rest is commentary." By "commentary" here I mean the strategies and tactics that we use to make the central goal of eating less and moving more easier to achieve - the mental games, the attitude shifts, the physical engineering of our environments. And since we are all different people with different personalities and different constraints, it follows that different "commentary" will resonate for each of us; even for one of us at different times in the process.
Long story short, keep talking and thinking. Or at least, I will keep talking and thinking, as it is a way for me to stay engaged with the process when the process becomes tiring.
It's been a very bad couple of days - not eating-wise, I've kept control of that and even finally seen another loss - but in my heart. I had a wound from earlier in the year reopened (it wasn't healed so much anyhow) and I have handled it very badly, lashing out and acting childishly. I've made a fool of myself and it feels very, very grim. I wish you all better feelings this weekend than I am weighted down by right now.
Not much new on this front. I'm going to be heading to the grocery store after my 12 hours of work so that I can grab some snack type food for the 9+ hour car ride we will be taking on Monday. I am a little worried about not getting any steps in since we will be driving all day. I'm hoping that the hotel we stay at has a gym in it so that I can at least walk on the tredmill to make up for the inactivity. I wish I could have a game plan on the meals I will eat on my 3 day vacation. I'm just going to have to make an effort to try and pick healthy(ier?) food. I know I'll get plenty of walking done on Tuesday. Jessica awww congrats on things going well with you and Josh. I know what you mean about the ex-husband thing lol. My ex lives basically around the corner from my parents, and I always kind of secretly hope that he sees me with my husband so that he sees how good looking my hubby is and that I'm not missing anything lol.
Carter it would be nice to hear about others struggles and triumphs. How they worked passed it.
Looking for suggestions for the road trip snacks! Anyone have any ideas?
Jessica - So glad to see you back here! Thrilled to hear the great job news and the school news and the guy news. I remain #TeamJ!
Carter - The personals can be time-consuming, and they're definitely not required. I love the straight-up conversation piece, and it helps me tremendously. What people have said to me through personals has made the difference for me many times, though, so I continue to do them. I really think this is a tool for you to use however is most useful for you. As I've said before, your insights really have helped me over humps, and your "Why do I need this today? I can always get it tomorrow" perspective was a huge breakthrough for me. Just glad you're here.
Skinnygirldreams - My life is about convenience food! I do not have a sophisticated palate, so as long as something tastes reasonably good and is consistent with my calorie and nutrition goals, it's good enough for me. Which is a long way of saying that almost everything I eat on a regular basis can be packed and brought with me for roadtrip snacks or vacation food. I eat: tuna packets - I especially love the ranch and herb&garlic flavors; the small bags of chicken (they have them at Walmart) with various flavors; all manner of fruit (pomegranates have to be pre-seeded, but Clementines and apples and pears are all fairly non-messy, portable eats); veggies like snap peas or carrots or even bags of spinach (I eat it without dressing, so that's not an issue for me) are convenient. Good luck!
I am feeling the descent of the slog. My scale went up again. Cuz it does sometimes. But I am also feeling the comfort of familiarity. Bottom line for me is this: I have food issues. When I am feeling out of control, I am uncomfortable because I eat too much of the wrong foods and struggle not to eat food that other people may want. When I am in control, I struggle with being impatient for results and feeling hungry or deprived.
I choose the second option today. And if I keep choosing that option, I might recapture the magic of seeing enough results that I have to buy smaller clothes and pare the old stuff from my closet. It will be a while, since my recent regain has made everything tight again.
I've loved reading through your posts over the last couple of days. I love how we are all on the same journey, yet it is so very unique to each of us. I'd love to be far along in my journey where the novelty has worn off and it's getting tougher. But heck, I can't even get my a$$ going! I must confess that I am fearful of failing again. And, you can't fail if you haven't even started, right? Ugh. I don't even recognize who I am anymore. I've always been the kind of person who couldn't be told no. I would do something or bust!
Laurie and Diane, you guys really hit home with me. I've known you around here for years. You have no idea how proud I was of each of you when I signed on after a long time away and saw how much you had lost! I thought to myself, "Look at them! They did it!" Your successes give me such hope.
So...after being so scared of failure and wasting so much time trying to find the perfect plan for me, I've made a decision. I'm going to eat what I want, but stay within 1800 calories. I will track everything on Daily Plate. I will put on my bodymedia everyday and aim for at least 10,000 steps. And, I will start drinking at least 5-6 glasses of water a day. I will commit to doing this for the next 30 days. I will also check in here with you guys every morning. At the end of the 30 days, I'll re-evaluate and decide what plan or what changes to make for the next 30 days. Even I can manage 30 days!
So...after being so scared of failure and wasting so much time trying to find the perfect plan for me, I've made a decision. I'm going to eat what I want, but stay within 1800 calories. I will track everything on Daily Plate. I will put on my bodymedia everyday and aim for at least 10,000 steps. And, I will start drinking at least 5-6 glasses of water a day. I will commit to doing this for the next 30 days. I will also check in here with you guys every morning. At the end of the 30 days, I'll re-evaluate and decide what plan or what changes to make for the next 30 days. Even I can manage 30 days!
Hey GirlyGirl... It is scary sometimes isn't it? We always worry that we are setting ourselves up for failure, even when we just want to push ourselves to conquer our goals. All you can do is try. Your goals sound like good goals. Just keep plugging away and you will get there. Even when it is hard, know that you CAN do it!
Hi everyone! I'm back from our mini holiday and feeling super blobby, all we did was eat and drink so the scales are up 6 pounds not trying to justify it but TOM is due in the next couple of days so that may be some of if. I really have no self control, it scares me. So back on plan this week til I'm away again for a camping holiday for 10 days. Hopefully the scales look a but kinder on Friday before we go. On the plus side this would normally send me in to a tailspin and end up picking up the pieces in February sometime, so the fact I'm getting back on the scales and into it now is awesome. Lol maybe I've grown - hmm nope if you saw me eating the carney dog
Some very interesting conversations going on here at the moment - I really do think 3 fat chicks has been the difference for me staying on track this time, this thread especially. I love the honestly in good times and bad. So my commitment is to keep on posting and reading, stay on plan when ever possible and be accountable. I will loose the rest of this weight this year - 2015 is looking bright (as long as I can stay away from hot chips )
Rhonda - It's interesting. I always admired your perserverence over the years. I am glad you've decided on a plan. I hope that it's exactly what works for you. If it's not, that's what tweaking is about, right? Maybe you'll find that you're carb-sensitive, and even though you can lose weight eating a candy bar a day, maybe you find that when you eat one candy bar, you can't control your food for the rest of the day. (I think this is what I'm starting to conclude about me, actually. =) ) Glad you're here. Glad you're committed. Can't wait to celebrate your milestones with you, starting with your first day on plan. (The first two or three days back on plan are always the hardest for me. I complain about the slog, but starting is way harder.)
Kelly - You travel so much! Glad you're moving forward despite the obstacles. Like you, this place has made all the difference to me.
Skinnygirldreams - Your encouragement and positivity really help make this place even more supportive.
I am committing to no sugar for the next six days. I don't mean no sugar like I did when I was a vegan, where I tried to not eat processed sugar at all, nor do I mean that I am avoiding fruits and other sources of natural sugar. Just cookies, cakes, pancakes, etc. And I am going to avoid fatty meats as well, so no bacon, ham, hamburgers, cheese, etc. I am also, for the first time in my "this time" journey, going to make a goal to eat more fruits and veggies. I have gone with the "eat them when I feel like it" method, which has actually been pretty successful, since I love fruit and I love the fullness I get from veggies. But I have been slipping into the ease of just lots of protein sources, and that needs to stop.
Monday - Saturday - gonna be some healthy eating days, I tell you! I can slip into "Twinkie diet" mode (eating low-calorie, but having my calories consist of low-nutrient foods and just be hungry a lot of the time) and still lose weight, and I have been doing it too often lately, but not this week. I also feel like I need to do the "no eating after 8:00 p.m." thing because I tell myself that it will be just one chip, or one cookie, and I end up eating the house.
White-knuckle, old-school New Year's Resolution time coming up for me! Lots of working out, very vigilant eating.
Last edited by LaurieDawn; 01-04-2015 at 05:03 PM.
Hi all! Not having a great weekend food wise, but not horribly out of control. I'm just not sure that Monday's weigh in will be that spectacular. But, that's ok. My big thing this weekend was to get the Christmas stuff put away, and get my house back to normal. I went to the grocery store to get stocked up on healthy stuff, and that was nice. I have my staples ready for breakfast and lunch, heading into a full 5 days of work. It's been nice having so much time off, but here we go.
I also went and bought some new gym pants. I've been thinking about it for awhile and since I had some money from Christmas, I figured it was time. The old ones were getting loose and baggy, but now I went to the tighter ones. They are capri length. I am a little hesitant on how they look, but I know I'm about the only one who does not wear tighter fitting pants in the classes I'm in. I think they'll be good. Better than clown pants!
MissLoud: Glad to hear that there is no tailspin!!! You'll get it back down, no need to worry!!
Rhonda: That's an awesome plan. Sometimes we overthink things, and make it harder than just getting going on some plan. I think that this will be a good 30 days for you!
Laurie: I am looking forward to dropping a few pounds too. I had bought new jeans with very little wiggle room for gaining weight, so with the weight I gained in December, they are a little tight. I don't like that feeling!!! So, we'll get the clothes back to fitting better soon, right!?
Skinnygirl: Good luck with the road trip!!
Jessica! Glad you are back!! We've missed you! And, I'm glad that things are going well for you!
Carter: Hope things are going better for you as you deal with what is facing you.
Hey guys. This is probably my 3rd or 4th attempt doing an update. I'm on vacation in Dubai till the 15th and have the iffy-est internet on my iPad which is where I've been constructing these messages that keep going into the abyss. So, I've finally cracked out my laptop to check in with you guys properly. I'm sorry I'm not doing personals... I did in previous attempts but now it's overwhelming saying every single thing I want to say and it's almost 2am and I know you guys don't mind. I have read everything though and I AM more or less caught up. Welcome ma26, yay Laurie for being back on track and on top of things and yay everyone who's picking back up and rocking this journey out! SOOOO pleased to read about new lows and re-losses and new personal revelations. And of course #TeamJ FTW.
I'm not doing too well. This vacation is absolutely lovely and Dubai- the area I'm staying is absolutely GORGEOUS (I will see about adding some envy-inducing pics from my phone) but I'm absolutely off-plan. And believe me, I had a plan going in... I'm fairly sure I must be in the 180s by now. For sure. I had all good intentions of going to the gym and eating right. I went to the grocery store and bought healthier options etc... Nope. Not working. I've had a irritable stomach episode since Christmas and the way I'm eating (i.e. too much) is not helping. It means I wake up everyday feeling a little nauseated and not much up to any high-intensity exercise beyond a moderately-paced walk... But tomorrow starts the first new week of the year so when better to get my act together and get on top of things. Sigh we'll see...
I wish everyone a wonderful, successful, blessed and immensely happy new year! Let's do this in 2015!!!
ETA: Okay so hopefully the pics I'm adding attach. These are with no filter, it's actually that pretty. This is the view from my bed.
Last edited by toastedsmoke; 01-04-2015 at 05:49 PM.
Diane - Yay for new gym clothes and getting rid of clown pants! I find new gym clothes are the hardest for me to buy, for whatever reason. And the routine of work is so good for me to get and stay on track. I'm glad I have five straight days ahead of me -- hopefully, with no holiday food in the break room.
Toasted - Yuck. Best-laid plans. Sorry that your plans did not work out as well as you had hoped. Hopefully, you'll get enough on track that you can more fully enjoy your time in Dubai. That's actually what would bother me more than anything -- cuz I do the same thing -- eat until I don't feel well even the next day. Love the jealousy-inducing pic, BTW.
The hubby is doing the Biggest Loser competition with me! Woot! I am hoping that means much less junk around the house, and fewer social eating obligations with him.
Super busy day today, and I am hoping to get a call with a job offer, so just going to do a quick check-in. Day 1 of my 6 days of absolutely angelic eating and exercise. I am ready! But here is my additional commitment, made after some thought. I get these thoughts in my head sometimes. It feels like the Cookie Monster obsessing on getting that cookie, almost. And that's when I know I'm going to go off-track. Or have to plan the cookie (or whatever) into my calories for the day. For the next six days, I will write when I have that feeling. Maybe here, maybe journal, maybe just send an email to someone that I care about as a reminder to myself that being strong and healthy matters. We'll see if it helps.
Happy post-holiday Monday everyone! May it be a terrific one for all of us!
I'm a bit more than 48 hours away from my twice-a-year work deadline, and I'm looking forward to taking the rest of the week off after that - real days off, unlike these last two weeks of holidays and long weekends of which I spent a good chunk working.
I will spend my two days off curled up with my cats and working on some writing I do as a sidelight, on which I have fallen behind due to the day-job deadline pressure.
Plan-wise, I've remained on plan, without too much difficulty, despite the heartache I mentioned the other day. Losses come very, very slowly. 17 days ago I dipped down to 181 for the first time (this time around). Then I bounced between 181-182-183-184 for two full weeks before finally seeing 180 2 days ago. Today, back up to 181. It will come in time, but it sure is a drag waiting for it.
LaurieDawn: Commitment and journaling (in whatever form) sound super-awesome to me. I also like the commitment to the short time scale, six days. Sometimes folks get hung up on how long the process takes but just like life it's really just one short time unit stacked upon another stacked upon another.
Best of luck with that job offer too: Keep us posted.
toastedsmoke, hang in there with the stomach trouble - I hope it improves quickly. In the meantime do enjoy the beautiful weather and glorious beaches.
Slashnl, back into the routine after days off is always a jolt isn't it? I've even been working straight through the holidays but working at home with the cats curled up beside me, or even coming into the office when it's quiet, is a far cry from being here on an ordinary, busy day. Good luck!
MissLoud, no tailspins! You can do this - you can get better control, I just know it. Do you want to talk about why you feel out of control? Maybe we can help you develop some ways of tricking yourself into doing what you want. Glad to hear about the commitment to stay here with us - I agree, it helps. And remember, consistency matters a ton more than perfection.
GirlyGirlSebas, your commitment sounds fantastic to me. We can stay on plan for 30 days! I hope you will find 1800 calories very manageable - it's a very friendly number, especially if most of your choices are good lean whole foods. But only most - 1800 calories is a very forgiving number and you will have room to play with. Good luck and good strength!
Skinnygirldreams, you must be on your long car ride right now. I hope it is not too uncomfortable. Let us know how it went!
Hi all, I am back with my head between my legs LOL
Well I have gained 5 pounds......so I am back full force. I am going to change things around. The low carb high carb really messed with my head and body I think I am going to stick with good ol calorie counting!
I need the encouragement from here. I think I got caught up in the oh one day won't hurt and if I let it go much further I would end up past my all time high of 251! And I missed you all!!!!
Hi everyone! I'm back from our mini holiday and feeling super blobby, all we did was eat and drink so the scales are up 6 pounds 
not trying to justify it but TOM is due in the next couple of days so that may be some of if. I really have no self control, it scares me. So back on plan this week til I'm away again for a camping holiday for 10 days. Hopefully the scales look a but kinder on Friday before we go. On the plus side this would normally send me in to a tailspin and end up picking up the pieces in February sometime, so the fact I'm getting back on the scales and into it now is awesome. Lol maybe I've grown - hmm nope if you saw me eating the carney dog 
)
Glad to hear about the commitment to stay here with us - I agree, it helps. And remember, consistency matters a ton more than perfection. 
