I just started reading this thread today, because I knew it was going to pi$$ me off and make me sad. I'm only halfway through and I'm going to have to finish it later because I feel like screaming and crying right now.
WTF is with ANY of these jerkoffs thinking that there is something so superior about them that makes any of this remotely okay?! What a bunch of absolutely horrible human beings you have all encountered (and I of course have my own). JEEZ!
I'm really glad you got support from your family, and that you've found something that's worked well for you. The negative reinforcement (especially for kids) is what really gets me.
i feel so horrible. i'm reading these post and trying not to cry i feel so fortunate. i have never had a friend or familiy member ever say anything mean to me. as a matter of fact everytime i tell them i'm going on a diet they tell me that they belive i'll succeed and i can tell thier sincere. some of you are breaking my hearts i just want to call some of your parents and have a "heart to heart" nobody should ever be treated the way some of you have. what is wrong with the world when even the people your suppose to count on are A****. so i would just like to let you ladies know that yal are the reason i'm loseing weight. yal inspire me to be a better healthier me. and you should all be over the top proud of yourselfs for even attempting to make your selves happy. becuase god know there are some skinny geourgous people out there that are completly miserable and complete B*****. So way to go Us! becuase we;re changing our lives for the better!
One of the meanest things anyone ever said to me was when i was on a date. This man ( a real idiot) looked at me and said"I can have you a mean thin running machine in a few months."I looked at him and I said"is my weight a problem for you?"-he replied" Anyone can look in the mirror and see u are fat", The great news-I am alot thinner-and this morning in spinning class, there he was -he saw me and looked shocked! The Karma bus came and I loved it.
And the nicest thing ever-when my hubby married me I had gained alot of weight. I said to him"Do you love me less because I gained weight" and he said"Love is not a number on the scale -its a feeling in your heart."
wow...i suppose i always knew i wasn't the only person to experience hurt at the hands of others, but some of these stories are just heart wrenching...
as for me, well, i guess in my day to day life one of the most hurtful things is when someone seems to see "through" me, as if i am invisible..
example: once a seating hostess at a resteraunt seated EVERYONE else that was waiting including several parties that came in after me, all the while acting as if she couldn't see me standing there. meanwhile, my party was already inside and waiting for me...
ironically, two of my most hurtful/harmful incidents both revolve around costumes and the third...well...that is a whole other situation
1) kindergarten. yes, i was five years old. was i a chubby kid? definitely not! but never believed it after this...
our kindergarten play was about the circus and one of the leads was the f** lady (f** is a bad word in my book)...now to be fair, this lead had the most singing solos, and i was the only one in my class that had been singing on stage since about age three (no kidding) and im sure for the adults this was the reason I was given the role...but my classmates did not see it that way. "f** lady" was my name from then on.
as if that wasn't bad enough, my mom is a frugal soul and she decided that the costume made a good night gown for me...which fit me clear into highschool...and was always referred to as my "f** lady gown"
sometimes i wonder if at least some of my weight issues are really part of a subconcious belief formed at such a young age..
2) Highschool. again with the costume...we were doing South Pacific for our spring musical. i was asked to play multiple support roles as a native girl....one of which was the lead singer/dancer for the song "Bali'Hai"...for any that don't know..this is a song about a special island and is performed with a traditional polynesian dance...the waving hips and fluid arms type..
i didnt mind really, because i got to spend several months learning true polynesian dance and loved! but this stage in my life i was VERY self-concicous about my weight (a whopping muscular 150, i was very active and fit!) but i wasn't skinny...when i went to be fitted for the costume i was mortified...a small bikini style top, stringy thing...and a "wrap" that was a triangle shape...about 12 inches high and meant to be tied around my waist....and the ONLY thing i was allowed to wear underneath were nude panty hose...because anything else would have shown
this time it was my father that was hurtful...he asked me daily if i was "really going to show the world my jiggly parts?"...that hurt so badly...i was already so afraid of getting on stage in that thing....when all was said and done, i was so stressed about it because of his badgering that opening night i froze on stage...the one and only time that has EVER happened to me! *sigh*
...needless to say, i have a fear of costumes now that is borderline pathelogical...
and last but not least 3) my future MIL...i was at about 200 when we met and now im 10 down from 300...in the ten years we have known each other she has ALWAYS done the same thing when we see them for dinner...
when i walk in the door..."Oh, i hope i made enough food!"...the implication being i must eat HUGE amounts..and at dinner she always is so kind to remind everyone to give me anything they can't finish...and for the finale, after dinner she always tries to get me to eat whats left....always telling me that she is worried i am still hungry...
the sad part is that she doesn't realize...i actually do not fight overeating...i fight starving myself and then binging....so at a meal i dont eat large amounts...
anyway...those are my biggies...
Becky, your mother-law-sounds like a truly miserable person. I'd feel sorry for her if I weren't so disgusted!
And that kindergarten play...I'm cringing over here. I can't believe teachers would be so naive to think casting a little kid as the fat lady wouldn't lead to torture from peers! Yikes.
As for your dad...I bet he was just nervous about his daughter looking all sexy on stage and wanted to try to get you to back out of it
Last edited by ParadiseFalls; 02-04-2011 at 12:56 PM.
I've had a lot of hurtful comments said to me regarding my weight, and I never did anything about it because I've always been sensitive but that wasnt an excuse for all the people that hurt me.
The last mean comment I got before starting my weight loss journey really hurt me, and was part of the reason I decided that this time was it, I was really losing weight. I know that a weight loss journey and lifestyle change should be for yourself, and it was but I couldnt get this comment out of my head.
A so called friend (who was at the time drunk and later apologized) said "No guy will want to be with you if you look like that.."
I saw this and I thought I could relate to it even though I don't need to lose 100 pounds only 40 the most. But when I lived out west I gained all this weight (40 pounds) and after my horrible breakup I moved back home to deal with ****. My mom said to me "Holy **** how could you let yourself go and get so fat?" I was around 180 at the time and my sister who gained alot of weight my mother would never say anything like that to her, but she'd ***** about it to me...but tell me to my face how fat I was. Then I told her I lost 7 pounds in the month of jan (because I moved back out west) and she was like well I hope your doing it safely...It's like you have the nerve to tell me I'm a fat *** when I'm big and now that I'm droping weight question if I'm being smart about it? Totally pissed me off. So when she asks me how my weight loss is going I get annoyed, but ever since I said I joined a gym she doesn't question it anymore.
My last boyfriend was a stunning good looker. One whose face and body turned heads. I don't think he was initially attracted to me, but due to circumstances, we had a lot of time to get to know each other well and it gradually turned into love. He pursued me -- not the other way around, and I was at my highest weight. No one was more surprised and shocked than me.
One of my dearest 'friends' said, "Oh, must be a chubby-chaser."
That hurt.
We broke up recently, but it had nothing to do with my weight.
I shared some of my worst comments in an older thread, but I have another I've never shared.
I was at Subway and ordered a 6 inch sandwich meal. At the end, I decided to add cookies and started picking them out when an older lady I didn't know started yelling from the other side of the restaurant, "NO! DON'T GET THE COOKIES! YOU DON'T NEED THOSE!!!" I was mortified, so I lied and said that the cookies were for my grandma who was in the hospital. I didn't need to lie or explain myself to that woman, but I was too shocked to really think it through.
I shared some of my worst comments in an older thread, but I have another I've never shared.
I was at Subway and ordered a 6 inch sandwich meal. At the end, I decided to add cookies and started picking them out when an older lady I didn't know started yelling from the other side of the restaurant, "NO! DON'T GET THE COOKIES! YOU DON'T NEED THOSE!!!" I was mortified, so I lied and said that the cookies were for my grandma who was in the hospital. I didn't need to lie or explain myself to that woman, but I was too shocked to really think it through.
Height: 5'2" (really 5'1 1/4" ( but I refuse to accept that - I don't care what the doctor says!)
I still don't understand how people can be so hurtful. I'd like to think they are trying to be motivating.........but I'm not so sure about that. I was a chubby kid, skinny teen & then in my 40's when the weight came back & I've been fighting it ever since. I'm 72 now. But I can remember my parents saying mean things - about how I should be the one mowing the lawn, about my sister being skinny & what was wrong with me.......laughing at my "ski slope" butt, 4 axe handle wide butt, etc etc......ex-husband making fun of me & so on. Obviously these remarks stay with us & can be defeating. So I'm struggling yet again but I'm hoping with a different attitude - that I want to be healthy & not focus only on the pounds. I'm so glad that I found 3fatchicks & I'm learning I'm not the only one. So maybe we can "forgive".......I don't know. Anyway lets keep on keeping on & doing this for ourselves! TTYL.
I guess I'm the oddball. The only thing that actually stuck with me enough to remember was a former lover who commented that I wasn't someone he'd get serious with because he preferred a different body type. I was hurt and pissed for awhile, but then I realized that I wouldn't have gotten serious with someone a decade older who had medication-caused erectile dysfunction.
I guess we were even on that one.
My, my, my...how life comes full circle.
A certain someone is attempting to re-establish communication with me. I'm 15 lbs thinner than I was the last time he saw me. He's living in CA...so I wouldn't mind seeing him 6-8 months from now.
I'm going to have to go back and read some of the pages I skipped over. People suck.
When I was in college I got down to 150 pounds and thought I looked awesome in my size 10 white jeans (it was the 90's). At a party I waited outside an apartment bathroom door. Two guys got in line behind me (drunk) and started saying, "Wow, what a fat cow. Get a load of that fat ***." That kind of stuff. I faced forward and tried to pretend that I didn't know they were talking about me. I rushed past them when I finished.
A total byotch florist in our office complex kept parking her delivery vans in my assigned parking space. (That of course did not belong to her unit but that happened to be close to her door.) After a couple of days of this I confronted her. She chased me out of her shop calling me a fat *****. I didn't know at that time that my weight was still that "noticeable".
I just had my first baby, in September. Somehow I ended the pregnancy at 244, 35 pounds below my pre-prego weight. My gorgeous cousin asked me if I knew someone who could speak at her kids' school about social media. (I am an expert in it and I've spoken and written on it.) I told her I could and she answered, "Oh of course I could, too. [No training in it.] But also, you know, kids can be so cruel at that age." [You know, since you're so fat.]
people are such a**holes. Middle school was the worst part of my bullying. I was one of the biggest girls in my school. My bestfriends boyfriend used to pick on me all the time.(not in a friendly way) I ended up shoving him into a locker and threating to sit on him (sarcastic humor)if he didnt leave me alone. Needless to say he warmed up to me pretty fast. In highschool one guy tried to pick on me all 4 years. He wasnt very bright and he himself was bigger and he looked like a bulldog, i think my most favorite insult was ''krusty'' as in the clown on the simpsons. I had fluffy hair....yeah. Ive had worse i just choose not to remember them.
I guess we were even on that one.
My, my, my...how life comes full circle. 
