Midwife, sorry to hear you're having such a rough time. I know what you mean about trying to simplify -- sometimes I have these moments where I think of how absolutely ridiculous my life is compared to human nature. I mean, I sit at a desk 8 hours a day and type into a little box, to make the box do something automatically, they pay me a good amount of money, but then I worry that they don't pay me enough (not that they don't pay me enough to live on, but that they don't pay me competitively for the job I do), that I won't get promoted to being able to be in charge of other people typing in a little box, or that I won't do a good job of putting the money they give me into investments in other people typing in boxes somewhere else in the world (which magically gives me more money? WTF?).
In other news, I'm stabilizing back down a little, current average for the month is back at 138.75 and it's on a downward trend. Training for an event is a mixed blessing. If I can keep my diet under control, the extra exercise is great for weight loss, but on the other hand all those workouts make me really hungry and if I don't have a snack before my workouts I don't have enough energy to do them.
Midwife, sorry to hear you're having such a rough time. I know what you mean about trying to simplify -- sometimes I have these moments where I think of how absolutely ridiculous my life is compared to human nature. I mean, I sit at a desk 8 hours a day and type into a little box, to make the box do something automatically, they pay me a good amount of money, but then I worry that they don't pay me enough (not that they don't pay me enough to live on, but that they don't pay me competitively for the job I do), that I won't get promoted to being able to be in charge of other people typing in a little box, or that I won't do a good job of putting the money they give me into investments in other people typing in boxes somewhere else in the world (which magically gives me more money? WTF?).
omg! I had basically typed out the same thing but then feared I would be complaining about making money at a comfortable job (where I also sit at a desk for 8+ hours a day and type into a little box).. haha. I'm glad someone can relate. I have ALL the same worries, Jessica. All of them.
Why can I just be satisfied with what I have? And furthermore, why can't I just be satisfied with where I am in terms of weight loss/maintenance?
omg! I had basically typed out the same thing but then feared I would be complaining about making money at a comfortable job
LOL FP, I feel the same way. How ridiculous is it that I'm worried about things like, my wrists will hurt because my desk isn't the right height, my butt hurts from sitting in a chair all day, etc. I mean, I have a job, it pays well, it's relatively secure (at least, my industry is relatively recession-proof and there are people here with less seniority than me), it doesn't put me in harm's way, I have a roof over my head and plenty of money to buy food. If I lost my job DH's job pays enough to take care of both of us, and if he lost his job mine pays enough to take care of both of us. And yet I spend endless hours obsessing over things like how I'd rather have a job that doesn't involve sitting at a desk all day but my training is all for a desk job and any other job I would want to do that doesn't require at least a 4-year degree doesn't pay as much as I make now. Sigh. I know it's ridiculous and I know I really am lucky that I have what I do, but I think it's human nature to always want something more.
In other news, my butt seriously does hurt from sitting all day. Ouch!
I'm back today from a week out of town & wondering if I ought to weigh myself tomorrow, or wait till Friday, when I usually weigh in. I have a morbid curiosity about what a week away from my regular routines have done to my weight. Morbid because I was eating two meals a day out at restaurants & I know everything tasted saltier than what I'm usually eating.
Oh, and several times I was stuck eating at chain restaurants, after saying how I never do this. I was visiting family in Pittsburgh. This is not my natural habitat, though it's a fascinating city & I was very interested in the Frick Mansion & Museum, the Carnegie Museums, the Incline & the Monroeville Mall gift shop with the zombie museum in the back. And oh, the chain restaurants & the beer joints. My cousin, an affable & charming tour guide, has unadventurous tastes in food & many of my meals were eaten across the table from him, with him choosing the restaurant. He loves meat, hates vegetables, doesn't like anything with seasoning or anything ethnic. He wants burgers, meat sauce on pasta, chicken wings. Oh, and wedding soup, because of the meatballs & because the vegetables had been so cooked that they had no individual flavor to offend him. I ended up picking the salmon at dinner. Over & over. I am sure that I am completely loaded with mercury.
Our hotel had a decent sized pool, which turned out not to be a good place to swim because kids appeared everywhere & were using the kickboards (which I would have liked to use for drills) to hit one another over the head & they were jumping into the pool from all sides & they kept moving into my lane.
So I ended up in the exercise room, using a Life Fitness machine that is kind of like an elliptical but I want to call it a stepper because you are pressing downward on pedals. It's supposed to be simulating stairs but is not like the stairmaster machine at my regular gym. It strikes me as very outdated. I got in an hour on that thing every morning. Religiously.
So I'm curious about what my efforts did & whether it helped at all to keep me from ballooning up while away from my routine. I controlled my breakfast pretty well through the room fridge. (Invariably Ezekiel bread & Trader Joe's unsalted almond butter, plain nonfat yogurt, and blueberries from a nearby Aldi's.) Lunch & dinner, I did my best, but this is not how I usually eat. At home, I load my plate with vegetables. Restaurants just don't give very many vegetables to accompany the main dish.
Anyway, time passed, as usual, & I got through it, and am back in NY, having survived the full horror of suburban chain restaurants, I can see now why everyone inquires after the calorie count & what they can eat at these places.
saef - yes, do take that figure. 'The Pittsburgh Diet' really works!
Not feeling very svelte here tho' I'm not looking *that* bad. But I wish my top and bottom matched so I could do up the bottom button on my blouse. I must really buckle down.
I landed a new research & writing contract today! The first ever by cold calling. I saw it mentioned in a press release in January & sent an email. Then my cv. Then we had a chat today. I'm pretty pleased with myself!
Last edited by silverbirch; 06-16-2010 at 11:01 AM.
Munchie attack here today. I have been excessively hungry all week, probably due to TOM (I always seem to be ravenous the week before it...). I still have a banana left of the food I brought with me, but it's only 2:00. I will try to hold out until 3:30 before eating my banana, at which point it should hold me until I get home.
Paperclippy, be strong. I, too, find myself watching the clock & rationing out my at-work snacks. I'm happy when I get so engrossed that I forget for an hour or so, but that rarely happens. I feel like a zoo animal at feeding time. Like I ought to kick the side of my cubicle till my attendant comes along with my plum & handful of dryroasted peanuts. Problem is, **I** am my attendant.
Silver, be strong. I'm doing writing assignments, too, but I'm not a freelancer. (Remember those American health benefits, being tied to our jobs!) Though I have many, many friends doing freelance work in Manhattan. We women try to encourage one another to be better businesswomen, which means being more aggressive in seeking work & marketing ourselves. So I appreciate your cold-call "win." That would get major kudos from my friends.
Midwide & Kitty, keep your stomach flu on your side of the Internet, please. Here. Take my bottle of Purell. Spray your keyboards. I hold the stomach flu in anathema like the Master Cleanse as far as its weightloss powers: Yeah, it works, but for how long, and how much of my happiness & comfort do I have to give up?
Pittsburgh Diet: Woman watching men in t-shirts with sleeves cut off eating immense piles of chicken wings, vast dripping burgers & big swollen kielbasa on buns while staring overhead at a large screen projecting images of sports teams. (The World Cup, on Saturday, as opposed to a Steelers game.) Woman trying to contain her drool by sipping calmly & collectedly at a big iced tea with a lemon wedge stuck in it. And assuring the sweet waitress, "No, I'm fine."
Saef, who is slightly overweight by NYC standards, is THIN in Pittsburgh. And turned heads. Perhaps my Slavic heritage drew them, since that ethnic group is heavily represented there. All my family's bad heavy food was readily available in abundance everywhere, as if they had my grandmother cooking in all their back kitchens. It was so hard, so damn hard.
Thanks, all, for bearing with me here. It seems that my brain is a bit clogged up at present with bits and pieces. Consequence is that I haven't got enough space at the front of my brain to focus on food. It's my old problem of overload at the end of the afternoon which leads to wrong eating. And resentment at having to do too much. Heaven knows, I am not a multi-tasker.
Quote:
Originally Posted by saef
Silver, be strong. I'm doing writing assignments, too, but I'm not a freelancer. (Remember those American health benefits, being tied to our jobs!) Though I have many, many friends doing freelance work in Manhattan. We women try to encourage one another to be better businesswomen, which means being more aggressive in seeking work & marketing ourselves. So I appreciate your cold-call "win." That would get major kudos from my friends.
Thank you very much, saef. So encouraging. Marketing oneself is a tricky and fraught area. I'm wondering about my photo at present. A number of clients have said: "I'll recognise you because I've seen your photo on LinkedIn." My current one was taken recently by first, ancient history BF who is good with a camera. He took a range of shots in the drizzle by a waterfall. He called out instructions - I couldn't hear because of the water. It was a lot of fun but I'm not sure whether the results epitomise my business.
Q: Inside or outside?
A: Definitely outside. I look very much better. But not in full sunlight.
Q: Looking at the camera or not?
A: Not sure. One of my hack friends (journalist) says definitely looking at the camera. I think they can be rather dull.
Q: Action shot or thinking shot?
A: Not sure. Those thinking shots look a bit contrived. But action shots are tricky.
Q: Head and shoulders or more than that?
A: Head and shoulders. Anything more and the pic's too small. And the viewer starts to think random, unhelpful thoughts about clothes, size, weather etc.
Q: Arty or not?
A: Probably not. Those pics of people's heads at funky angles aren't really me. Or bits cut off strangely. But I did see a lovely one recently with beautiful composition: turquoise sky, dark land, and head and shoulders. Perhaps it's all in the composition.
OK, ramble over. Please feel free to pitch in. And thanks again.
I know what you mean about trying to simplify -- sometimes I have these moments where I think of how absolutely ridiculous my life is compared to human nature. I mean, I sit at a desk 8 hours a day and type into a little box, to make the box do something automatically, they pay me a good amount of money, but then I worry that they don't pay me enough (not that they don't pay me enough to live on, but that they don't pay me competitively for the job I do), that I won't get promoted to being able to be in charge of other people typing in a little box, or that I won't do a good job of putting the money they give me into investments in other people typing in boxes somewhere else in the world (which magically gives me more money? WTF?).
WTG chicks!
How come stomach flu weight loss isn't permanent?
It seems that my brain is a bit clogged up at present with bits and pieces. Consequence is that I haven't got enough space at the front of my brain to focus on food. It's my old problem of overload at the end of the afternoon which leads to wrong eating. And resentment at having to do too much. Heaven knows, I am not a multi-tasker. 
