I met my bf on a free dating site. He was the first person I was willing to meet from the site. We just hit it off. I wish I could tell you what it was that helped me find him, but I don't know. I feel blessed. I will say that we wouldn't have had a chance if he hadn't kept an open mind...I have two kids, and while that wasn't what he was expecting, he was open to it, and it's been working out great. We've been living together for the last six months. (Oh, and he's definitely not a deadbeat...if anything he works a little more than I would like. Lol). Good luck! I hope you find the perfect guy for you. =-)
Last edited by Tesalyn; 11-07-2012 at 12:52 AM.
Reason: Fixed typo
Just put in your profile what the deal breakers are for you. When someone contacts you before you ever bother chatting with them you ask them to verify they meet your minimum requirements.
Example -
"READ THIS FIRST. You must have three of the four following things for me to consider dating you. A job, a car, a checking account, a college education. If you do not meet this simple qualification we're not a match so don't waste your time. I'm not trying to sound like a snob but I have standards and I would hope you do too."
Just put in your profile what the deal breakers are for you. When someone contacts you before you ever bother chatting with them you ask them to verify they meet your minimum requirements.
Example -
"READ THIS FIRST. You must have three of the four following things for me to consider dating you. A job, a car, a checking account, a college education. If you do not meet this simple qualification we're not a match so don't waste your time. I'm not trying to sound like a snob but I have standards and I would hope you do too."
THIS! Put it out there, strongly!
P.S. I never thought I'd date someone older, but my DH is nearly 12 years older than me. I met him when I was 20, I'm 30 now. Got married when I was just a few weeks away from 24, had our first baby at 27. Didn't all happen super fast just because he was older. Age doesn't mean the guy would necessarily be in a hurry to get married or put a bun in your oven. Be picky, have standards, but don't let age be a determining factor, because you just never know!
Just put in your profile what the deal breakers are for you. When someone contacts you before you ever bother chatting with them you ask them to verify they meet your minimum requirements.
Example -
"READ THIS FIRST. You must have three of the four following things for me to consider dating you. A job, a car, a checking account, a college education. If you do not meet this simple qualification we're not a match so don't waste your time. I'm not trying to sound like a snob but I have standards and I would hope you do too."
I think this would scare off nearly every guy on an online dating site. Makes you sound very, very demanding.
P.S. I never thought I'd date someone older, but my DH is nearly 12 years older than me. I met him when I was 20, I'm 30 now. Got married when I was just a few weeks away from 24, had our first baby at 27. Didn't all happen super fast just because he was older. Age doesn't mean the guy would necessarily be in a hurry to get married or put a bun in your oven. Be picky, have standards, but don't let age be a determining factor, because you just never know!
I'll agree with this too. Basically all of my friends married during or right after graduation from university to other uni friends, all the same age, but my husband is actually 16 years older than me, and he's a perfect match for me. I worried and considered about it a lot at first, but it turns out that an age difference isn't near as scary as I would have imagined. Of course, there are concerns in the future as we get older, but nothing we haven't talked out and have plans to handle.
I think this would scare off nearly every guy on an online dating site. Makes you sound very, very demanding.
My point isn't to have you copy/paste what I've written - it can be communicated however you like. The point is if you know what you don't want it is best to be very upfront about it.
As was pointed out by another - quality over quantity.
I'm not totally knocking older guys -- I just know I get intimidated by them, haha. When I was about 19 or 20 this one guy that I talked to was close to 30 and had his own house and was wanting to settle down and start a family, and I knew I was no where near ready for all of that and I'm still not, really. I probably would date a guy in his early-mid 30s, but any older than that and I'd feel like I was dating my dad, lol.
But I did revamp my profile and made it more clear as to what I was looking for. I was honest about where I am in life (working towards becoming self-sufficient) and that I would prefer a match who was in the same place or better, who had a car and that I strongly preferred someone who did not have children. Hopefully this will weed out the guys who just like to message me with "Hey" and expect a response, lmao.
I think this would scare off nearly every guy on an online dating site. Makes you sound very, very demanding.
It's funny that you say that, because it was written by a guy! JohnP - would this be something you would be scared off by if you read that?
This is kinda what I meant in my other post - a guy who would respond to an ad like that would show me he's confident, has what I'm looking for and willing to take me on! I would rather have 1 confident response to an ad like that than 100 from those flaky noncommittal dudes. ;-)
^^ you'd be surprised at how many messages I used to get that weren't too far off from that, lmao.
OH GOODNESS! I've had the "DTF?" before. I didn't even know what it meant so I had to look it up. UGH! I do the paid sites, there just seems to be less creepers. In my experience, a lot of the men are just as hesitant as we are on the sites. It's shameless self-promotion and kind of hard to strike up a message/conversation. I've broadened my options as far as age, looks, etc. There's only so much that can go into a profile that I figured, I'm paying for this, I might as well. The ones I haven't been excited to meet were actually the ones I had the most fun with!
It's funny that you say that, because it was written by a guy! JohnP - would this be something you would be scared off by if you read that?
This is kinda what I meant in my other post - a guy who would respond to an ad like that would show me he's confident, has what I'm looking for and willing to take me on! I would rather have 1 confident response to an ad like that than 100 from those flaky noncommittal dudes. ;-)
I know! but I think JohnP is a very to-the-point kind of person (I could be wrong?) Whereas a lot of guys in the online dating world....well, aren't.
Just adding in my 2 cents. Of course quality is more important than quantity. And yes, you should go for what you want. But I think it's important to consider tone of voice when writing, and how easily it can be misconstrued. (And I laugh as i write this...because my original comment could be read as really critical of JohnP's comment....when I didn't mean it that way).
But I think it's important to consider tone of voice when writing, and how easily it can be misconstrued. (And I laugh as i write this...because my original comment could be read as really critical of JohnP's comment....when I didn't mean it that way).
Totally, I might have a problem with my tone! LOL.
Apparently I've been told in real life I come off as intimidating (which is hilarious to me as I am the least intimidating person ever) and I think I come across that way in writing/online too. I just don't like nonsense and extra flowery words and just want to get my point across - might not be the most attractive thing in the online dating world hahaha.
mimsyborogoves I am not very outgoing but I found that the meet up groups are low pressure. Use the message boards on your meet up event to let people know to look out for you so that you will have at least one person at the event who will know that you are new. There is always someone who will hang out with you and introduce you around to the group.
I had to bargain with myself in order to go. I said, Self, I will go for an hour. If I don't like it I will leave. I ended up staying for the entire event and I have been back several times.
but I think JohnP is a very to-the-point kind of person (I could be wrong?) Whereas a lot of guys in the online dating world....well, aren't. 
