For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep, not enough
sunshine, and too much pressure from my job, ear wax build-up, poor
blood or anything else I could think of. But now I found out the real
reason:
I'm tired because I'm overworked! Here's why:
The population of Canada Is 30 million. 11 million are retired. That
leaves 19 million to do the work.
There are 5.5 million in school, which leaves 13.5 million to do the work.
Of this there are 3 million employed by the federal government,
leaving 10.5 million to do the work!
1 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing the Taliban.
Which leaves 9.5 million to do the work.
Take from the total the 7 million people who work for Provincial and city
Governments, and that leaves 2.5 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 476,000 people in hospitals, leaving 2,024,000
to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons and 812,000 on Employment Insurance and Welfare.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And there you are sitting on your ***, at your computer, reading jokes.
>The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian war
party.
>The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger. In
honor
>of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three days. But,
before
>I kill you, I will grant you three requests. What is your first
>request?"
>The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."
>
>The Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger, who
>whispers in Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away. Later that
>evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As
>the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and
>spends the night.
>
>The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a
>very fine and loyal horse, but I will still kill you in two days.
What's
>your second request?"
>
>The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to
>him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear. As before, Silver takes
>off across the plains and disappears over the horizon. Later that
>evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with
a
>voluptuous brunette, even more attractive than the blonde. She enters
>the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.
>
>The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed. "You are
>indeed a man of many talents, but I will still kill you tomorrow.
"What
>is your last request?"
>
>The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse,....alone."
>
>The Chief is curious, but he agrees, and Silver is brought to the Lone
>Ranger's tent. Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by
both
>ears, looks him square in the eye and says,
>
>"Listen very carefully ....
>
>for the last time ....
>
>I said.....
>
>"BRING A POSSE!"
Celibacy can be a choice in life or a condition imposed by environmental encounter.
While attending a Marriage Encounter Weekend, Walter and his wife, Peg,
listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."
He addressed the men, "Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower??
Walter leaned over, touched Peg's arm and gently whispered, "Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn't it?"
Jack was going to be married to Jill, so his father sat him
down for a little fireside chat......
He says "Jack, let me tell you something.
On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants and
handed them to your mother, and said, 'Here - try these on.' So, she
did and said, 'These are too big, I can't wear them.' So I replied,
'Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.'
Ever since that night we have never had any problems."
"Hmmm," says Jack. He thinks that might be a good thing to try.
So, on his honeymoon, Jack takes off his pants and says to
Jill, "Here try these on."
So she does and says, "These are too large, they don't fit me."
So Jack says, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I
always will, and I don't want you to ever forget that."
Then Jill takes off her pants and! hands them to Jack and says,
"Here you try on mine."
So he does and says, "I can't get into your pants."
So Jill says, "Exactly. And if you don't change your smart ***
attitude, you never will."
Scotch and humour!
Celibacy
