There were several straws for me.
The first was when my mom got diagnosed with heart failre and had surgery at 41. She was also diagnosed with diabetes all at the same time. None of which had to do with her weight out was because she was diabetic for about 3 years and it attacked her heart. Realizing that on top of my daddy dying when I was 11 from a heart attack made me realize that I was not given good odds and if I didn't get my health better NOW that I was next.
Next was stepping on the scale for the first time in a year and realizing I was 300 pounds. I had developed back fat beyond belief I was out of shape. it was like seeing myself for the first time and it made me sick.
So, I decided to stop talking and do something about it!!!
- Realizing I'm almost 26, that's almost 30... and after 30 there just isnt a way back to health as easily anymore (sure, it's not such a big disaster - but it felt like now would be the best time if ever)
- Actually feeling the fat on my thighs get icky in the heat
- The scale moving beyond the 70KG which has been my max ever
- Starting to turn into the self-concious almost social anxious girl that I was when I was 18 again... that freaked me out massively! I came such a long way from there - and now my weight was making me all insecure all over again.
- Noticing people wouldn't tell me I was being silly when I make the umpteenth remark about my big butt.
So yeh, it all came together a month before my 26th birthday.
The "big moment" or "eye-opening moment" for me was when I went up another size. I'd stayed a certain size for several years, and I finally now just passed that size. I can't allows myself to gain anymore weight and more than anything I need to lose quite a bit.
Photo's. Similar to everyone else on here. Seeing them on people's face book and seeing my face and butt compared to my friends in photos. The big one though, suddenly not having any pants because NONE of the ones you own will zip anymore. That morning of discovery was horrid... and I refused to go shopping for new pants in a bigger size. I just threw on a pair and wore an extra baggy shirt from an ex boyfriend and didn't button them. Embarrassing day. No one noticed, but I felt like the world knew.
Backing out of a planned trip because I'd have to walk so far and it was so hot and I was so fat and going to be sooo sweaty and tired and dragging. That shamed me.
Seeing pictures of me from my 10 year class reunion (thankfully they weren't tagged for the world to see!). I really didn't know I looked like that.
Not wanting to move around or play with my littles because I'm so large.
There were several things, and it spanned over a few years, it wasn't just a moment for me. I believe I was always unhappy with my weight and how I looked but tried so desperately to dress "normally" and somewhat fahionably cause I LOVE clothes and feeling sexy in them. Plus I was depressed while in my marriage. Once I came out of the marriage I started to lose weight as I started to eat at home more and choose healthier choices. I didn't do it to lose weight I did it cause I was going through court and couldn't afford to go out! Once that was done I realized I had lost about 25lbs withouth any exercise just eating habit so I figured I could just keep doing that. Which didn't work, I just plateaued. So I kept trying to lose with diet and started slim fast, but no nothing budged. I knew I had to do exercise.......it's what I have been putting off. Being a single mother of 2 and a career woman, it's HARD, but I used that as my excuse. So I started off slow. I don't know what triggered me, but I knew for a good 2 months the scale wasn't moving while I was doing slim fast. I was getting ticked so I started off low impact, took breaks for water and just kept going. I forgot how good exercise felt! I really did! I am realizing that I need to find my balance between food, exercise and taking care of me. Including going to bed at decent time. So it's been a gradual change for me, not just 1 moment when I said "that's it, I'm doing it" I tried everything else and saw no results so by process of elimination I'm here. LOL
Well like a lot of you here, there's been a few "straws".....
1. My husband weighing at least 60 lbs less than me, and yes you read that right.....at LEAST 60 lbs LESS than me....."Here comes the bride,all fat and wide. Here comes the groom an as skinny as a broom."
2.I weigh more now then I did when I gave birth to my last child.....that and I still look pregnant....I had her almost 3 years ago.
3.Realizing that over time that slowly I own no clothes, ironically I wear my skinny a** husbands oversized tshirts...they don't reflect who I am as a person at all. And I've lost some part of my identity by not being able express myself through wearing my own **** clothing!
4.I don't feel feminine anymore. That makes me so sad.I used to love to do my makeup and hair.....now I just don't see the point. You can put lipstick on a pig but its still a pig.
5.I don't feel sexy....at all. My poor husband can't understand.
6. I'm ashamed of myself , sincerely ashamed. I have so many qualities I'm proud of but the shame hides them all.
Truthfully it was vanity at first. I have really nice clothes and they no longer fit
Then when I went for my work physical I was heavier then I had EVER been (not including pregnancies) I was just disgusted with what I had done to myself.
So I'm taking my time and going to get healthy and get back in my clothes
1. I don't own a full length mirror. My 20 year old daughter has one on the back of her bedroom door, but I rarely venture in to see what I look like. Just have the bathroom mirror for washing my face/contacts/brushing & flossing. I have always had large breasts so if I can't see anything "sticking out" past them, I tend to delude myself that I'm not as big as I am. Facebook has been a bit of a slap in the face. I do detag the especially heinous ones.
2. Realizing how big my upper arms are. And oh me, oh my, the back fat.
3. I just got home two weeks ago from a family reunion with 79 other family members, a cousin's husband, my sister and I were the only heavy people there.
4. It really sank in that I weigh 30 pounds MORE than I did when I gave birth (I weighed 154 at delivery for all three kids).
5. I'm tired of sitting on the sidelines waiting for life to "happen."
I am super lucky that I have been married to the best guy ever, who has always told me I'm beautiful, no matter what size I was/am. But I don't feel pretty anymore. It's time to get the pretty back!
Height: Just because you put a pretty shirt over your muffin top, that dose not make it a cupcake!
Quote:
Originally Posted by MidlifeCrisisGirl
Yes, yes and yes.
1. I don't own a full length mirror. My 20 year old daughter has one on the back of her bedroom door, but I rarely venture in to see what I look like. Just have the bathroom mirror for washing my face/contacts/brushing & flossing. I have always had large breasts so if I can't see anything "sticking out" past them, I tend to delude myself that I'm not as big as I am. Facebook has been a bit of a slap in the face. I do detag the especially heinous ones.
2. Realizing how big my upper arms are. And oh me, oh my, the back fat.
3. I just got home two weeks ago from a family reunion with 79 other family members, a cousin's husband, my sister and I were the only heavy people there.
4. It really sank in that I weigh 30 pounds MORE than I did when I gave birth (I weighed 154 at delivery for all three kids).
5. I'm tired of sitting on the sidelines waiting for life to "happen."
I am super lucky that I have been married to the best guy ever, who has always told me I'm beautiful, no matter what size I was/am. But I don't feel pretty anymore. It's time to get the pretty back!
My hubby is a gorgeous man (a little extra weight but serious eye candy) and thank you Jesus he loves me despite my size. I barely weight less than he does. I will NOT tell him how much I weigh. The shame of it is huge! I'm the smallest woman in my family on both sides which scares me!!! I'm 190 lbs (which no one believes I guess I have more muscle than fat to that I say WHATEV!) 6 lbs less than when I delived #4 18 months ago. It took me a YEAR to lose 6 pounds. I tried every day, diet being active all to lose 6 lbs. (I blame my IUD) So, I gave up, weight stayed the same but my feelings never got better.
My Moment: I have two special needs children and they dont get why Mommys belly is big and the babys out and walking! I know they dont get it or mean it, what they're saying is really "Mommy why are you fat and shouldnt be". But ****it IT HURTS!
Lots of things led me to hate the way I look, and want to be thinner.
1. I realized nobody complimented me since I got married 4 years ago. (I gained about 40 lbs after that, and I was on a curvier side of "avg" before) When I was younger, I had a very striking look; Not to say I was the most gorgeous or even very photogenic, but people stared and had something nice to say wherever I went so much that I was used to it. Now, I am a ginger hiding inside a fat suit, looking like every other person that graces walmartpeople.com lol. When people see old photos of me they go WOW YOU DON'T EVEN LOOK LIKE THAT, YOU'RE SO PRETTY IN THIS PIC. Ouch.
2. I have an aunt who looks like humpty dumpty. Literally, round and short, so egg shaped. Love her to death, but she has bug eyes a la rodney dangerfield, hair so thin you can see her scalp clear as day, and when she sits down, less than two inches of her upper leg (to knee) is visible because her belly covers the rest. Two of her friends were recently teasing her that she looked like the ice age squirrel, scrat, good naturedly though. Their preschool aged child looked at them disapproving and said "That's not very nice. It's true, but not nice."
Every time her friends would meet me, they would lose it over how much we looked alike. Strangers who meet us together assume I am her daughter and when their assumption is proven wrong, they rave about how we look so much alike. REALLY PEOPLE???? If you see a young woman who is a dead ringer for Steve Buscemi, do not tell her that for the love of god. It is not a compliment, it is heartbreaking.
3. I have a hump. It's like my body ran out of fat storage and just had to give me an extra curve somewhere. I have what amounts to a breast, this little pad of fat, where my spin begins to curve atop my shoulder blades. I could probably sit a drink on it and move through a crowd with little or no spillage. Sexy.
I've lost... lessee... 215 to 192... but it's been a very slow process. Back again for another round (: One thing is for sure though, without being so large now, I'd have grown up so stuck up and full of myself. Now I don't take myself so seriously and it's done me a world of good. Laugh or you'll cry, right?
My moment was when I was making out with a guy.
I took my shirt off, andhe were kissing and all that stuff.
He asked me something I don't remember.
I asked him, "Do you think I am pretty?"
His answer was, "Yeah, I like heavyset chicks."
Never. Never again will I make out with a guy and have him tell me that.
I don't think I can make out with guys until I lose weight.
The whole time I will be thinking, 'Hmm..Does HE also think I am heavyset?'
That is such an ugly word.
I was really unhappy with my weight, but I let it be until I saw the doctor for a blood test, and he told me I was 'pre-diabetic'. I lost weight and became more comfortable with myself, until an ex buddy of mine decided he'd call me a fat ho, because I didn't return his affection. I became aware of my weight again. Not long after, I started living with my bf, and I've noticed my eating habbits have become terrible. So I'm striving to eat healthier and lose another 25lbs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tif8j
I asked him, "Do you think I am pretty?"
His answer was, "Yeah, I like heavyset chicks."
I know what that's like. I had an ex who used to tell me how much he loved "big curvy girls", and even though he was trying to make me feel better about myself, I felt terrible every time he said it.
You guys...I just read through this whole thread. I laughed, I cried, but mostly, I identified.
I have been bouncing back and forth for years, lately it's been mostly forth.
I went to a doctor appointment and realized I had gained 20 lbs in 6 months and was now heavier than I have ever been before.
I realized that I think about how fat I am CONSTANTLY- it affects me in EVERY way- what I wear, what I am willing to go out and do, how I interact with people, how I feel, what I think about...It would literally take me LESS effort to just DO something about it than to let it control my life...and I wonder what amazing things I can accomplish with this weight not constantly...well...weighing on me!
Also, the thing that finally hit me last night (like a ton of bricks) is that this isn't just for me. My husband has gained 70 lbs since we got married and he is dangerously heavy. Last night he looked at me and said, "I am going to have a heart attack soon. I just can feel it." It made me hysterical. We're not even 30 yet. I am not going to let something as dumb as food and laziness kill my soulmate or shorten the time we have together. We have to do this now, we have to do this together, and we have to do this for real.
Height: Just because you put a pretty shirt over your muffin top, that dose not make it a cupcake!
Quote:
Originally Posted by DezziePS
You guys...I just read through this whole thread. I laughed, I cried, but mostly, I identified.
I have been bouncing back and forth for years, lately it's been mostly forth.
I went to a doctor appointment and realized I had gained 20 lbs in 6 months and was now heavier than I have ever been before.
I realized that I think about how fat I am CONSTANTLY- it affects me in EVERY way- what I wear, what I am willing to go out and do, how I interact with people, how I feel, what I think about...It would literally take me LESS effort to just DO something about it than to let it control my life...and I wonder what amazing things I can accomplish with this weight not constantly...well...weighing on me!
Also, the thing that finally hit me last night (like a ton of bricks) is that this isn't just for me. My husband has gained 70 lbs since we got married and he is dangerously heavy. Last night he looked at me and said, "I am going to have a heart attack soon. I just can feel it." It made me hysterical. We're not even 30 yet. I am not going to let something as dumb as food and laziness kill my soulmate or shorten the time we have together. We have to do this now, we have to do this together, and we have to do this for real.
Bless you both! I hope he listens to his body. You can both be great support to each other.
. Realizing that on top of my daddy dying when I was 11 from a heart attack made me realize that I was not given good odds and if I didn't get my health better NOW that I was next. 
I know they dont get it or mean it, what they're saying is really "Mommy why are you fat and shouldnt be". But ****it IT HURTS!
Bless you both! I hope he listens to his body. You can both be great support to each other.
