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VeggieGurlShay 01-22-2011 09:09 PM

What Was The Straw That Broke The Camel's Back?
Hi I'm new here and I am curious to know what made you decide to lose weight? I'm talking about 'That's it! I'm tired of this! This is no way to live!' type of moment that made you decide that this time you weren't playing and come **** or high water you WOULD lose weight and lose it for good.

I guess for me I knew that I had to lose weight and that I would lose this weight was when a few things happened:

1. I noticed I had a side boobs? You know the extra bit of boob that sneaks under your arm. It doesn't discriminate either. It will pop up on women and men. Well I realized that I cant put my arms down flat without discomfort so my arms kinda prop out like a muscle bound person without the muscle!

2. I saw my shadow and I was like "OMFG...damn my shadow is fat!" Now you don't even really think about your shadow most times but I'm telling you this shadow was bulky and just not what I imagine my silhouette being in my denial-land. LOL.

3. Finally, the most embarrassing and part that made me cry. I will share it because I know I cant be the only one. Well....the third thing was that I noticed that wiping myself was becoming difficult. There I said it. I noticed I was so fat that I could barely reach my ***. That I had to fight fat rolls to get there because trust me I was going to get there! But I thought I shouldn't have to fight my own *** to be clean.

So, here I am. That was the straw that broke my camel's back.

Ann72 01-22-2011 09:17 PM

Veggie-I feel like I've had so many straws over the years. The latest was my 4-yr-old nephew announcing loudly at a party (in front of 20+) people that I was fat.

Thanks for sharing so openly and I wish you luck on your weight loss journey. I am back here myself starting again and determined to do it right this time.

VeggieGurlShay 01-22-2011 09:24 PM

Ann I totally get that. My kids say, "My mom is Big". I dont think I like them seeing me as Big. Its sweet they dont want to say fat but I know what they mean.

surrendertolis 01-22-2011 09:24 PM

I fell in love and someone actually loved me in return. It made me want to change my life for the better. I lost 60 pounds and felt great. But then after a couple years, the relationship started falling apart and I started gaining my weight back. But since he left me, I've been a lot more focused on my health and taking care of myself. I've lost 45 pounds so far and I'm feeling alright. Watching weight loss shows on TV, like MTV's "I Used to Be Fat", help me to see that real weight loss is possible and it's something that I can achieve if I work really hard.

TeresaKM 01-22-2011 10:54 PM

I know what you mean!
I know what you mean, it was a moment for me as well when I struggled to take care "personal business" in that area as well (lol). But, my big moment was when..... I couldn't fasten my seat belt on a airplane. I panicked and ask my boyfriend of only 8 months to help. I pulled, he pulled until I almost passed out. And... I said right then and there the next time I get on a plane, I will be able to buckle the seat belt.
Take Care All and Good Luck!

kaplods 01-23-2011 12:31 AM

There was no straw "this time." All of my other significant weight losses begain with the proverbial "last straw," but not this time.

I thought that the straw was necessary, and I thought my previous failures were due to a lack of will power on my part. I think I was wrong.

I didn't lack willpower, but I was repeatedly dashing my head against the same brick wall.

Seeing that dieting (the way I knew how to do it) only in the end resulted in weight gain, I gave up dieting forever (I thought).

And then without any effort (or even awareness, as I didn't own a scale) I lost 20 lbs. When my pulmonologist told me this would likely happen after prescribing a cpap machine for me for sleep apnea, I thought he was nuts (I'd never lost weight accidentally in my life).

A year later at my anual checkup I discovered that I lost 20 lbs. What was especially ironic was that it was during a time in which my activity level had drastically fell because of disabling illness (fibromyalgia, insulin resistance, autoimmune disease, arthritis, and copd). I could barely walk, barely breathe, and barely stay awake.

I was so astonished at the 20 lbs, that I decided that if I could lose it without trying, I should be able to keep it off with a little effort, and maybe I could lose more, but I knew I couldn't go back to dieting the way I was used to dieting.

I decided that I would only make changes that I was willing to commit to for life, whether or not they resulted in any weight loss at all. And for two years those changes didn't result in any weight loss at all (but I was able to keep the 20 lbs off, which was a small miracle of it's own. I'd spent most of my life gaining steadily or losing steadily. I had very little experience in maintaining weight loss).

Even though I didn't lose any weight for those two years, I did gain some pretty incredible health improvements. Just being able to shower standing was a big milestone (I had to have a shower chair), and being able to sleep in a normal bed with my husband. For a year, we had to sleep in seperate bedrooms because hubby could not sleep with my snoring and with the incline I needed. We had to jack the head of my bed up a foot higher than the foot of the bed. All night it felt like I was sliding out of bed, but I needed the steep incline so gravity would help drain gunk from my lungs.

It wasn't "hitting bottom" that made me desperate to make changes (as much as it would seem logical), it was finding out what made losing easier and less stressful. And for me, it was dieting "backwards" from the way I'd been taught to.

I'd always been taught (by the example of people around me, and the books I'd read) to diet "full-speed-ahead" with the idea that hopefully when I reached goal weight, I could back off. Start with 1,000 calorie diet (or less) and as much activity as I could handle without puking, and (eventually in theory) at goal weight I'd be able to eat more and exercise less. I only knew how to lose weight by doing almost nothing else (social life, education, career they all didn't just take a back seat, they virtually were abandoned).

Eventually I'd always get burnt out on the intense effort and having no life, and would decide that "I'll never be thin, so what's the point..."

My doctor also recommended low-carb eating. It took more than a year for me to give it an honest shot, because I was so used to seeing low-carb as an unhealthy and even potentially dangerous diet. But eventually I learned that low-carb is the only way I'm able to control hunger. It was another way to make weight loss easier.

This is the easiest, lowest stress weight loss I've evern accomplished. Sure it's slower, and I do want to pick up the pace, but not as badly as I want to keep the easy, low-stress pace, because I think the ease and stresslessness are the secrets to my success. I've never lost nearly this much weight before. 70 lbs was my previous record, and that was with amphetamine diet pills and my best (teenage) metabolism.

I think the biggest change though has been in how I view weight loss. This time I value every ounce lost. In the past, I thought only making it to goal weight counted or mattered. When I felt like I couldn't lose any more weight, I felt "what's the use, I'll never make it to goal." Now I think "Even if I can't make it to goal, I can keep off what I've lost so far."

Even if I can't make it to goal, I can keep off what I've lost so far.

I think it wasn't so much a "last straw" as a paradigm shift - that is "thinking outside the box." I realized that there are a lot of dieting myths and "traditions" that I had learned without realizing I had learned them. One of them was giving up when the process became frustrating. I'd seen my mother do it, my grandmother do it, so many friends and strangers at WW, TOPS, and OA meetings. I realized that I had learned to do weight loss wrong, just because it's how I saw most people doing it.

Every parent says "do what I say, not what I do," but observational learning is an extremely powerful force. Mostly we learn what we see, even if we know it's not the most effective strategy. It isn't very easy to learn from other people's mistakes (especially if the mistake is almost universal).

It's a bit like swearing when you bang your thumb or toe. If it's what you've learned, unlearning it can be more challenging than you imagine.

Unlearning. I think that's really been the "secret" of my success this time. And some of it, I didn't realize I had learned, which made unlearning that much larger a challenge.

Thighs Be Gone 01-23-2011 12:37 AM

Seeing a photo and not recognizing ME anymore...feeling like I was pigeon-holed as the fat mom.....and probably the most embarrassing..setting up a Wii account in front of a group of people and having OBESE flash on the screen..

Beyond that, I have three sisters all very sick...two with MS and one with breast cancer....I had to do something

VeggieGurlShay 01-23-2011 12:51 AM

Kaplods thanks for sharing.

I understand what you are saying. I also like to think of this as a journey I'm about to embark on. A journey of learning and loving myself.

I think some people have to immerse themselves in weightloss and exercise sometimes so that they can break the old patterns of behavior and incorporate the new ones. I'm using anger and disgust to fuel my charge.

I need to use that energy to push me forward to the day where my lifestyle changes afford me enough energy to continue without them.

I'm sure I've learned wrong. I do believe that you have to find what works for you and use it.

I dont really know what eating plan I'm going to follow. I dont like counting points etc but I know I need to portion. Carbs hate me but heavy meat eating messes up my digestive system. I used to live in florida but now I live in Canada and what worked in weight loss there doesnt work here (not to mention we dont get the fruits & veggies I'm used to).

I'm going to start off with WW and then lower the carbs and increase the veggies. And just tweak it as I go along. Evaluating everything as I go along.

kaplods 01-23-2011 01:20 AM


Originally Posted by VeggieGurlShay (Post 3669783)
I'm using anger and disgust to fuel my charge.

I need to use that energy to push me forward to the day where my lifestyle changes afford me enough energy to continue without them.

Everyone really is unique, and if this works for you, and you're ok with it, more power to you. I really wish you the best with it.

However, I do have to point out (in case anyone might find it helpful), that this was a major downfall of mine in the past.

Most of my previous weight loss attempts begain with self-loathing, anger, and disgust. And it usually worked in the beginning, but always backfired in the end.

Either I'd get sick of beating myself up and decide that I didn't deserve the self-torture, or when weight loss slowed, I'd see it as proof that I was too despicable, lazy, crazy and weak to succeed.

Seeing weight loss, diet and exercise as ways to pamper my wonderful self, rather than as a way to punish my horrible, worthless self has been much more successful.

I've had a lot more success with "loving myself thin," than "hating myself thin." I try to create a weight loss spa atmosphere at home (making my food choices extra delicious, and my exercise choices extra fun), and the closer I come, the better I lose, but it still often feels weird and uncomfortable, like I'm doing something I don't really deserve.

I wish I could convince myself truly that I do deserve this.

helen73 01-23-2011 07:43 PM


Originally Posted by Thighs Be Gone (Post 3669764)
and probably the most embarrassing..setting up a Wii account in front of a group of people and having OBESE flash on the screen..

Oh the way that avatar literally hangs her head in shame and says in her sing song voice "that's obese" is a real killer. I will never cease from wanting to strangle whomever designed that crap.

Ann72 01-23-2011 09:07 PM

wow, so glad I don't have a wii. LOL. I beat myself up enough.

mountain mama 01-27-2011 03:19 PM

surrender: I had a very similar thing happen in my life. I was happy and newly married, lost 72 pounds... got divorced... gained it back.

Theresa: The airplane thing is a big deal for me too. I travel alot ( live in arkansas but my mom and dad live in Canada) I was pregnant at the time.. but to need an extender... was depressing....

The last straw for me... well it's a combo of things.. I think this time.. its definitley just having no more excuses. I know that I can lose it... safely... and i'm with someone that loves me, I have a new baby and i'm not working.I can get this weight off again.. and I will not let myself gain it back due to being tired, lazy or emotional.

So i guess the last straw is surpassing my highest weight while pregnant.. and knowing It's time to get my butt in gear!

plane seats and being embarrassed to show my bf my weight at the hospital when I was giving birth were big signs too!

surrendertolis 01-27-2011 10:17 PM


Originally Posted by fauxtini (Post 3679005)
surrender: I had a very similar thing happen in my life. I was happy and newly married, lost 72 pounds... got divorced... gained it back.

Yeah, it's hard to go through something earth-shattering and NOT have it affect your health in any way. I've realized that I'm an emotional eater. When I'm angry, depressed, lonely, stressed...I eat and eat and eat for comfort. And then that only makes me feel even worse because I hate the way I look and feel. I've realized that I feel so much better when I'm eating healthy and exercising regularly. I miss my ex and adjusting to life without him has been very hard on me, but I refuse to let myself go this time. I need to get on the road to emotional recovery and feel good about myself for me, and not just because someone loves me. I need to love myself.

JenniferJ 02-09-2011 11:52 AM

Veggie - I have to agree with you. It was that moment of struggling to reach places on my body and realizing that if I didn't do something - it was only going to get worse. My weight has been up and down since having my daughter, but the last year it has been steadily going up. Having to strain in the shower to reach all my parts was truly a startling moment and made me resolve to fix it. I am so glad to know that I am not alone in my "oh **** - something must be done" moment. :-)

DigitalSinner 02-21-2011 05:43 PM

Realizing that the person in those pictures my doucheface friends like to tag all the time on Facebook was me. FAT!!!!

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