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My straws:
STRECH MARKS. I have never had stretch marks in my entire life but they started this summer and are literally EVERYWHERE. Hips, arms, armpits, stomach, breasts, legs, calves, wtfwtfwtfwtfwtf MAKE IT STOP HOLY CRAP.
I am finding it impossible to make eye contact with men I find attractive because I feel like they might laugh at me. Which is insane because the last 3 guys I thought were attractive went *out of their way* to speak to me. But that's my internal thought stream. Gotta quit that.
When I am under stress I get the most acute chest pain. Most of my relatives have died of heart problems. This is terrifying to me.
Seeing that I'd crossed 200lbs on the scale and literally crying for 3 days.
Grimacing as I pass my reflection in the mirror.
Not wanting to be on dating sites because in order to be honest with men I'd need to take totally new photos that reflect my actual size.
...yep, that's my straw(s).
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My weight gain was always slow, I barely noticed especially since I've always had a small waist. But suddenly the belly I thought was fat was now REALLY fat and like stretch marks seems to blossom almost over night! That didn't do it though. I was getting married and the dress I borrowed from my aunt was tighter than before. That didn't do it. I had back fat/rolls forming for the first time. That didn't do it. I got Hidradenitis Suppurativa (for those who don't know, that's essentially gross puss lesions like super acne on your boobs and armpits) and doctor said it was weight related. That didn't do it. My husband wanting to be a cop (we were still dating at the time) and pursuing an active life style. I tried working out with him to support him, but hated it. That didn't do it. Getting restless leg syndrome worse and worse keeping me up at night more and more due to weight gain. That didn't do it. Starting to develop lower back pain. That didn't do it either.
My "straw" moment? For me, it came just over a month ago at the end of November, napping on a basement couch before work because I was tired from a bad sleep the night before. I was dressed up for a family dinner, and didn't feel pretty in the dress I was wearing, a dress only a few months old that I LOVED and felt skinny in at the time of pruchase (and I was still fat then. It was the first dress in a year I felt pretty in) I've always felt fat and wanted to loose weight but never tried or did anything. I was in tears, and started looking up cute pictures of animals online. They had one of those side diet adds, the ones I used to roll my eyes at and ignore. This time, I clicked. It was for Garcinia Cambogia. I started looking it up. I wanted it. BAD. I started reading warnings in research, I didn't care. I had an allowance for myself, I could afford it, I was going to buy it. I was at the online check out and just completely and mentally broke down. I asked myself what I was doing? Assuming it magically worked, it was safe and healthy, is that what I wanted to tell people when I asked how I lost the weight? Some pill? And, wouldn't I have to use it forever to keep it off??? Did I want that, forever??? Assuming that it even worked, and was healthy??? What about my young middle school girls I mentor at my church, what was I telling them by getting a magic pill from a an add without any regards to the consequence? What was I telling them by continuing to be unhealthy for that matter??? And my husband who always thought me beautiful and loved me, how was I helping him become a cop??? He wasn't going to the gym, or working out because I made the excuses not to go. So I whiped away a tear, decided I would start calorie counting to limit my portions and started doing real research for healthy weight loss. I found this site not long after, got inspired and started my journey!!! I even started swimming while the hubby did his stength and cardio training in the gym.
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Airplane Seatbelt Extender
I don't think that needs a followup. Just the fact that I needed one broke my mind for a while.
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I thought the scale at the doctor's office was broken. No way could I be 275. I was 250. Yeah, not so much.
That was the swift kick in the a** I needed to start losing.
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Looking back through this thread, any number of these could have been written by me.
The first time I had to ask for a seat belt extender was huniliating. The flight attendant was discrete, but I felt shame for even existing. It was not as bad as the day I couldn't fit into a ride at six flags. Everyone around got to witness the attendants trying to readjust my fat and te harness to stuff me into the seat.
I also hated myself the day I realized I could barely reach to wipe my butt.its even more difficult in a public bathroom stall when you can barely get inside and shut the door in the first place.
The day I had to ask for a table at a diner because I couldn't breath after I squeezed myself into the booth.
Being unable to get through the aisles of a store. That's when I know that a store won't be carrying my size.
The day my "fat" pants were too tight.
Waking in the middle of the night because of a weight on my chest not allowing me to breathe and realizing it was me.
Having to wear deodorant between my legs and between my fat rolls to avoid the sickening smell of sweat.
There are all these things about being fat that made me think, I can't keep living like this. But the moment that broke me, my straw, was the day I had to fill out a profile for online dating. I'm not opposed to people using online dating to find a significant other. I don't think I'm better than online dating. The reason it broke me was because it was when I finally decided that I was resorting to online dating in the hopes that someone would talk in love with my personality before they had to see what I looked like. It was the day I realized I was probably going to be single for te rest of my life if I didn't change something.
It wasn't even about thinking that fat people can't find love. They can and do. It was more that I couldn't ask someone else to love and accept me when I didn't even want to look in a mirror at myself. That was the day I knew I had to lose the weight. So that I could finally fall in love with myself.
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Horrible as it sounds having a (rather large) co-worker tell me that once she's lost weight she'll donate all her old clothes to me "as they're bound to fit you". It wasn't so much the fact she was large, it was the rather rude opening of my previously closed eyes about how much weight I'd really gained. I know she didn't mean anything other than nice things with the offer, but goodness it felt like a slap in the face.
Overhearing an interview panel commenting on how they couldn't hire me, because what sort of impression would an obese woman give to clients, was a bit of a kicker too.
And in 3 years I'll be 30, which has caused all sorts of "oh no!" reactions.
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Veggie, totally get the butt thing, Last Summer I couldn't either, I had more health Scares, I freaked when I saw 299 on the scale, but still just couldn't try yet again. I'm 63 and had given up. Then an astrologist friend of mine recommended a book "Star Signs" by Linda Goodman to me. I thought it was about astrology and numerology ( which was fascinating) but deep in the book was a plan for weight loss that was so outrageous and different and only last 45 days that I thought to myself " I can do anything for 45 days and then eat what I want. I did it and never looked back- am now down 74 pds. I thank God every day that book that changed my life when I wasn't even looking. I'm sure you can too, just one day, one meal at a time.
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There has been a few strong moments that made me realize that I can't wish away all this weight or drown in self pity and magically go back to who I was.
First thing was probably me putting an album together for my grandmother with pictures of my family and realized I only had a few pregnancy pictures and ONE picture of me holding my baby. I have ZERO pictures with my husband after the baby was born and he is 15 months old, even knowing this I don't dare to even attempt to take one because I know it will look horrible.
I finally bought a corset (the real thing with steel boning for lacing and custom made) which was a dream of mine forever... and my gut looks like this creepy deformity that won't allow me to sit.
The clothes thing like someone else mentioned here! I was complaining I couldn't find anything that fit right after having a baby and one of my very sweet SIL's (not being sarcastic) offered some of her old clothes from back when she was "smaller" since they were practically all new... here is the thing, I've seen pictures and she has never been close to a healthy weight... I tried on the dresses and one actually was too small for me. That burned the postpregnancy body label in my mind and made me realize anyone can end up morbidly obese.
Also an older lady that is very fond of me and I haven't seen in a while thought I was pregnant and when I told her that the baby had already been born she assumed he had literally just been born and went on apologizing and reminding me things will get back to normal in a few months, baby was about to turn one year old.
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Still being overweight after repeatedly trying to diet for the last 8000 years.
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I'm new to this forum but really want to wish everyone good luck with their weight loss journey, only just found this site and I'm so happy I have.
My Oh **** moment came when I looked at myself side on and realized I looked very similar to Alfred Hitchcock ( no disrespect to the man) lol. Recent health issues and much too much ice cream have taken their toll. It's my 60th this year (yikes) and I do not want to be a fat sixty so onwards and upwards....we can do it guys!!!
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I was just sick of feeling ill and tired.
I have a 2 year old to look after by myself and she can out run me.
I want to wear all the pretty clothes!
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Saw a picture of me playing in the lake with my new Labrador puppy. I was wearing my favorite top, a pretty blue tunic that I thought was pretty. Thought it made me look "okay." I didn't look ok at all and I don't recognize myself. I made myself get on a scale for the first time in 3 years.
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I've fluctuated way up again and I'm running out of clothes that fit since last time I said I'd never be back here ugh I suck at life lol guess this time I want to lose it for good so I don't have to do this ever again!
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There have been so many last straws for me.
When I was on vacation and a group of women decided to yell horrible things out at me out of their car.
When my ex and I broke up after 6 years and I ballooned up to be the largest I've ever been. I've always been big, but the anti-depressants I've been on made me gain even more.
When I stepped on the scale and realized I've gone up to 344 lbs. Last time I weighed myself I was just under 300. That was a punch to the gut if I'd ever gotten one.
When I started dating again and I had a guy be nice enough to tell me that I'd be "perfect" if I lost 40 lbs.
When the guy who I'm dating now said one of his criteria for dating someone was that she "not be like 300 pounds or something". Little does he know I weigh more than that. Don't get me wrong, he is a great guy, it was not meant maliciously, but still. That was like a slap in the face.
When I tried on a fitted dress that has no stretch and I realized that what was loose on me last October is so tight I can barely fit in it.
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My aunt had brain cancer and she asked for me and I went to her, but she didn't recognize me. I know she was in and out of the present day and she didn't know who several people were from time to time. And she did know me sometimes. But I was sitting across from her in her hospital room one day and she pointed at me and pushed her nose up like a pig nose and asked who I was. My dad told her I was his daughter, her niece, and that I was beautiful and she said "BEAUTIFUL!" as though she had changed her mind about my appearance. Maybe she had, she had brain cancer, who knows?
But that was really really hard. I started that day.
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