I'm a bit past my 20's but here are my super secret confessions:
I want to make my x-husband jealous. I can't wait until I'm at goal just to see his face.
I am more than a bit worried my husband may not be as attracted to me when I'm thinner. He cannot keep his hands off me now. He has expressed many times his love of my curves. Hugging his mom is like hugging a skeleton (she is ill) and he has so much (rightful) hate towards her, I have wondered if he was attracted to me because I am so much unlike her physically.
Sometimes I wish I could summon forth the demons I used to have about my body. I used to hate myself and not eating is sooo easy when you are full of self hatred. I wish I could stop forgetting I am supposed to be eating healthy. Weird, I know.*shrug*
Last edited by IAmTheGlue; 04-04-2013 at 08:14 PM.
Reason: fixed double word typo
I'm terrified I will gain every bit of my weight back if I ever hit my goal.
When I get upset about something unrelated, it makes me want to binge eat and screw all of this up so that I won't have a chance to fail. For years I was too scared to start trying because what if it didn't work?
I've waited years to marry my BF and now I'm terrified of him putting that ring on my finger bc what if I still weigh more than him at our wedding? He is a foot taller than me, and he doesn't care, but I'm afraid everyone will judge him for marrying the fat chick.
fear nr 3 is that no matter how much weight i loose i will always be the biggest in the group of my friends and that i will never have a boyfriend because of my insecurities.
That's how I feel too...all my besties are b/w 5'1-5'5 and then there's me ughhh Also ended a 5yr relationship ~8mnths ago (you don't wanna know some of the things we would fight over)...don't mean to be pessimistic, but the future ain't looking too bright
Totally off topic, but OMG missunshine, I remember you! Everyone on here's pretty new, but I rem you from like 2010/2011 (haven't been on 3fc in a whileeee) Hope you're doing well
Fortunate - As crazy as it is, I sometimes think that too! I like to say that I'll always be fat on the inside!
I think we'll all be fat on the inside! There are certain insecurities that are ingrained in us and after having certain habits for a lifetime, it's hard to lose them.
Any suggestions on better ways to handle "weigh in days"
thanks
Weigh in the mornings! That should satisfy that.
I'm so glad I'm reading through these, as a lot of others have said. This is incredible.
My confessions:
-I am terrified of relationship opportunities. I don't want to be with someone until I am at my goal weight. I mean, I don't want to be with anyone until I am who I want to be all over. And that's tough. But potential relationships terrify me. ("Hey can I get your number?" is like the scariest sentence ever to me.) Potential anything scares me. I don't want to do anything awesome until I'm thinner.
-I don't want to tell anyone that I'm trying to lose weight. I can just feel people rolling their eyes at me. Not because I don't need to but because I don't think they want me to. Who will eat all this awful stuff with them if I'm eating healthy? It's the same reason I keep eating meat even though I want to be a vegetarian again. My friends would roll their eyes and sigh and become annoyed that I would have more food restrictions when going to parties. It makes me avoid them and then they get upset over that. There's no winning.
-I've gained my lost weight back before, what makes me think I won't do it again?
I confess that I have been fantasizing about, when I have lost much more weight, running into (Read: Stalking and then pretending to run into ) the guy I used to be totally head over heels for. He had no interest in me like that, I loved him and to him, I was just his friend. Man that stung.
I just want him to look at me like ....Daaaaammmnnn.
Last edited by Silverfire; 04-10-2013 at 09:52 AM.
I confess that I want to show my uncle that I'm not lazy. I work from home as a web designer/freelance writer and, for some reason, he doesn't consider it a job - even though he's self employed himself (he flips houses for a living). I even overheard him tell my aunt to not ask me to help clean up after dinner because I'm lazy and I'll just complain about it. I always help cleanup after dinner no questions asked without ever complaining so I don't know where he got that from. His three kids are skinny and all three of them were in the Army up until last year. Now, ones a firefighter, ones a police officer and the third is getting her Master's in teaching (she has a side job as a personal trainer while she attends college). All three are younger than me and all three are married. Obviously, since I'm overweight, single, living with my parents and working from home, my uncle thinks I'm lazy. I want to lose a ton of weight and show up at his house next Christmas looking hot. Maybe I can even move out of my parents house by then and get a boyfriend to come to Christmas with me. That would shock my uncle. I can't wait to see his face.
But honestly, I don't know why I even care what my uncle thinks. I've never liked him. He's rude and he yells at people for the stupidest things. I'm not talking a little bit of yelling. I'm talking about red in the face yelling. I was scared of him as a kid and, sometimes, I'm still scared of him. For some strange reason, I still want to show him that he's wrong and I'm not a lazy overweight moocher.
I secretly hope to run into a lot of people from my past when I reach goal, just to be able to go "in your face" on them. I'm especially thinking about one of my previous romances. We were good friends for a while, before we started fooling around. I was head-over-heels in love with him, and he knew it but he just wanted to have fun. It lasted for two years before he ditched me for his new, stick-thin girlfriend. Even though he never said anything, I always felt like he treated me that way because I was fat. He now lives with a girl that's bigger than me, so maybe I was wrong...Or he changed in the 6 years that has gone since then. But he broke me into pieces back then, and I want him to see the new, hot future me that he can't have. LOL, I must sound like a mess...
I am afraid that I will never feel good about myself
I am terrified of getting loose skin
I am scared that I will change to not be a nice person after losing weight. I don't know my "thin identity"...
I'm scared that I'm going to fall in love with someone who could never want me because I'm fat.
I'm scared that if-when- I lose the weight.. maybe all that will be left is a bitter, jaded individual who is at the end of the day.. a bi@tch.
I'm also worried that after I lose weight and get sexy clothes, do my hair really nicely and basically jazz myself up, I'm going to see my ex boyfriend, but instead of his face dropping in shock and being like 'damn i want her' or 'she looks great', he won't care.. because I can be as good looking as anything but he still won't want me. and that sucks, just a little bit.
That's how I feel too...all my besties are b/w 5'1-5'5 and then there's me ughhh Also ended a 5yr relationship ~8mnths ago (you don't wanna know some of the things we would fight over)...don't mean to be pessimistic, but the future ain't looking too bright
Totally off topic, but OMG missunshine, I remember you! Everyone on here's pretty new, but I rem you from like 2010/2011 (haven't been on 3fc in a whileeee) Hope you're doing well
cat eyes...welcome back i don't really remember you well as i don't even remember most of the threads i write in i lost the weight in 2010 and my life turned around the day after i reached my goal and due to stress and binging i regained about a half of the weight back and now i'm trying to lose a part of that regained weight again.
sorry to hear about your bf. the storm is over for you and now it's time for sun to shine in your life good luck
I'm so glad I'm reading through these, as a lot of others have said. This is incredible.
My confessions:
-I am terrified of relationship opportunities. I don't want to be with someone until I am at my goal weight. I mean, I don't want to be with anyone until I am who I want to be all over. And that's tough. But potential relationships terrify me. ("Hey can I get your number?" is like the scariest sentence ever to me.) Potential anything scares me. I don't want to do anything awesome until I'm thinner.
-I don't want to tell anyone that I'm trying to lose weight. I can just feel people rolling their eyes at me. Not because I don't need to but because I don't think they want me to. Who will eat all this awful stuff with them if I'm eating healthy? It's the same reason I keep eating meat even though I want to be a vegetarian again. My friends would roll their eyes and sigh and become annoyed that I would have more food restrictions when going to parties. It makes me avoid them and then they get upset over that. There's no winning.
-I've gained my lost weight back before, what makes me think I won't do it again?
i feel exactly the same especially the first confession
Also ended a 5yr relationship ~8mnths ago (you don't wanna know some of the things we would fight over)...don't mean to be pessimistic, but the future ain't looking too bright
) the guy I used to be totally head over heels for. He had no interest in me like that, I loved him and to him, I was just his friend. Man that stung. 
i lost the weight in 2010 and my life turned around the day after i reached my goal and due to stress and binging i regained about a half of the weight back and now i'm trying to lose a part of that regained weight again. 
