Wow! I just watched Monday and Tuesday's shows back to back
Monday's show was very eye opening and so sad to see how these people feel about themselves. It was also hard to see that I have some things in common with them as to how and why I defeat myself-some things I didn't realise that I do to myself.
I felt bad for everyone but especially at the end where that woman (can't remember her name) -the redhead that wears a lot of make up- said that she sometimes doesn't want to get up in the morning and go out into the world and that she sometimes lies there and thinks that she wants to die - that she feels that she has no purpose in the world - I was crying along with her.
Tuesday's show - ha! I knew he would keep all 13 people!
And I am glad I did. I am sorry but when he read Kim's e-mail to Angela I thought the exact same thing that he did. It was not very supportive and I took it as her suggesting that Angela should quit- maybe Kim was trying to help her but it did not come across that way
I am finding watching the shows in conjunction with reading the book very helpful. After he talked about real weight the charts in the book made more sense -the chart is just a guideline and you should really be thinking about a weight that you are physically and mentally comfortable.
Mauv-
I knew he would keep all 13 and I am thrilled at how he is marrying what he is doing with them and inviting us to join in...it is very inspiring. I am really enjoying this and don't feel alone. There are times that I would get so mad at myself if I wasn't such a wimp I would smack myself upside my head!!!!
I agree Rowan. I really like the fact that he is trying to get everyone at home to follow along and join the challenge.
One of the recurring themes when he interviewed the women in the group was one of feeling alone, helpless, guilty and ashamed.
I know a lot of people struggle with the same things and it was very comforting to see total strangers admitting this to themselves - you felt like - aha! It is not just me!
I could relate to several comments Dr. Phil made like being a cheerleader for other people but not for yourself, putting a good face on when you feel miserable inside etc. It certainly takes up a lot of energy to pretend everything is okay all the time.
Hi all! We were away for a long weekend so I had my son tape Monday for me, and then yesterday I taped Tuesday right behind it.
Yesterday morning while on the treadmill, I watched Monday's program. It also dawned on me that having the shows to watch while reading the book is really helping me too. I finished the book over the weekend, but I'm going back and reviewing every single page, marked with alot of yellow highlighter, and making a list of the things I still need to change. Biggest one is environment, even though I cleaned out cabinets and frig months ago. And I do shop by a healthy grocery list. The biggest project will be turning the dining room from an office (I used to work from home) into a real dining room. We watch TV during meals in the dinette that adjoins the family room, and I do 90% of my reading at that table. Since changing the way and what we eat several months back, we don't mindlessly overeat - anymore. But I would like to have a quiet and pleasant place to eat and not have the news distracting us from meaningful conversation.
>>"It certainly takes up a lot of energy to pretend everything is okay all the time."<<
Ain't that the truth! Little did I realize that our consistent weight gains were speaking louder than the fake smiles and constant pleasantness of everybody's favorite couple. HA!
I'm going to watch both programs again now while I do my treadmill before I comment on any of the challengers. I have formed some opinions about Kim, Angela, the redhead (can't remember her name either) and Az college girl and her parents. But I could be jumping to conclusions!
If anyone's checked out the 'homework' on Dr. Phil's site, it's a lot of the important information straight from the book (Locus of Control worksheet for this week). I know a lot of people have said they really can't afford the book right now - looks like you don't have to worry about it too much. Between the web material, the shows and this group, you'll be kept highly informed on how to work the program.
This also gives me faith in Dr.P's method's. A lot of diets are in it for the money, and are very secretive about their programs until you pay up. Dr. P - well, sure, he's making money at it (and covering his costs of course), but he seems to be setting it up that you can do the program regardless of how little or how much financial investment you can make. It's about actually changing your life - not just how much money you can devote to changing your life. I really respect that. Also, by opening it up to the masses, he's leaving himself open to a lot of criticism about how well his program works - yet this doesn't seem to phase him either, and in turn boosts my confidence that this is finally the right road to take.
I have been following the shows and I have to say I find some of those people difficult to pull for. I know that's awful but two of them seem to be in it for Maximum Drama Potential all the time and I really dislike that in a person. Using your past misfortune for attention or to manipulate other people makes me really question every single thing they say and do. I'm always wondering what their REAL motivation is.
So far, I really relate to Sarah in that it's my own procrastionation and inertia that have gotten me here. I adore Ann Marie as well - I recognize that peppy love-me-I'm-fine thing she has going on. It will be interesting, and painful, to watch her progress.
SillyMonkey- I totally agree with you with regard to his website. I think he is genuinely trying to help people. And he has repeated over and over that this is a life change, not a quick fix, not a diet - so he has warned people that they will have to work at it!
Dip and Nicole- don't feel bad - I am sure we have all formed some kind of opinions on the participants based on their behaviour - we will end up liking some, being indifferent about others and not liking a few.
I really like Anne-marie - she does put on a protective shell with her happy go lucky attitude but she comes across to me like a sweet caring girl who is hurting inside- I just want to give her a big hug
There are two or three people who I don't think are as committed to this program as much as the others but who knows they may find themselves during the journey and undergo major changes.
I do hope they all do well and that there is a major overall change in North American's attitudes towards their health and eating habits - hope Dr. Phil starts a revolution!
Last edited by mauvaisroux; 10-02-2003 at 10:23 AM.
I'm not on this program, but I do watch the shows and read these threads. I just wanted to comment on what Dip said.
Quote:
Ain't that the truth! Little did I realize that our consistent weight gains were speaking louder than the fake smiles
You just gave me an OMG! moment. I knew I was unhappy, but my life looks so great from the outside. And then I read what you said, and it really makes sense. Sometimes we talk about being happy, but when we look at what we are doing to our bodies (which are ourSELVES), the truth comes out.
Originally posted by diphthong Ouchy, That would be absolute **** for me too. Any chance of getting him to stop, or do it elsewhere, in order to rally him into your support system?
Funny how our loved ones can be unwitting (or are they?) saboteurs?
In my darling husband's defense - He is definitely on my support team. He is learning and trying new recipes of whole wheat and whole grain breads and experimenting with making my favourite breads without the fat that was in them.
And he hasn't baked a batch of croissants in weeks.
He is totally on my side in this and he is extremely supportive.
He does bake other types of breads for people as gifts and thank yous. Those that are healthy he makes a loaf for us. Those that would wreck my plan he gives away.
And again, he's making a concerted effort to experiment with recipes and making breads he's never made before.
On Monday's show when Dr. Phil was talking to Thomas/Donnie I had one of those "ouch" moments where something Dr. Phil said hit waaaay to close to home to be comfortable.
Dr. Phil asked Thomas if he loved his daughter enough to die for her and then said, "... but you don't love her enough to live for her."
That really struck me in a full force frontal assault. That is exactly what I have been doing with my dd.
I was glad that Dr. Phil kept all 13, sorta. I was a bit miffed at Kim's e-mail to Angela. I think she was totally out of line and completely not being supportive. But something about her just rubs me the wrong way ... so I just kind of ignore her.
I worry about Sarah not really taking this seriously and in part I wonder if it is her age and relative immaturity. She doesn't really have any motivating factors in her life like an abusive spouse you wanna kick to the curb, a child to live for, a career to build self-respect for ... She seems to have been really pampered by her parents and allowed to slide for so long that I think Dr. Phil really is going to mess up her playhouse as he put it!
Mrs. K. - that is so good of your husband to be helping you out with his healthy breads - give him a pat on the back for me for being so supportive! It is so much easier when your spouse, family or roomate is OP with you
Regarding the participants - I don't feel that Judith, Sarah, Fred or Kim are taking this as seriously as the others so far but they may make more of an effort as the weeks wear on - I hoping all of the participants will do well for their own sakes as well as for being an inspiration to others
A Big AW RIGHT! for Mr. K! That is so great to hear (read) about his support.
I think it's going to be real interesting to watch Sarah, and yes it appears that her parents have let her get by with, - - - well, we'll see what happens. I thought when Dr. Phil told her he would yank her *** out of bed personally each morning was a big clue. I know teens like to sleep alot, but I think she needs abig dose of reality, self-accountability and responsibility. Does she still live at home?
Anyway, I rewatched the programs, and confirmed what I think I suspected about Angela. Me thinks she uses her victimhood to attempt to manipulate people to get what she needs or wants. For example, she said that if she wasn't one of the final 8, "that somebody just wrote me a death sentence." 1. Doesn't take responsibility for her condition, and 2. "If you don't pick me, I will die." (or was she insinuating suicide?) Then, she tried to convince everyone that she can't do the challenge because she can't afford it being unemployed. Well, how did she feed her daughter and herself before the challenge? When they showed a tape of her and her daughter eating together, it didn't appear to me that they were eating pancake and pasta because that's all she could afford. They were eating gigantic sandwiches they could barely get their mouths around.
As for Kim - ppffft! I see right through her self-righteous, look at what I've got and you don't, fake persona. She is going to be a tough nut to crack because she thinks so highly of herself and it's easy for her to criticize the others. I bet by the time Dr. Phil gets done with her, she'll be on her knees crying her heart out. There's something there that's so deep, it's gonna take an awful lot of work to pull out. She consciously has no idea that she has some very deep-seated problem.
What do you all think about Terry and her wonderful boyfriend? I think she will fail because of him.
And Judith - I wrote her off from day 1. I think Fred will do great, once he gets into it for Fred. I also think Monica and Barbara will do fantastic.
Yeah dip, nice boyfriend Terry has there He sounds like has issues of his own - I can't believe the things he said to her on the phone when she called him from the mansion. It was all about him and his feelings and that stuff about how he would go back on drugs while she was away - for pete's sake, she was only gone for 3 freakin'days! What a selfish beast!
He sounds like he will deliberately try to undermine Terry in order to keep her close and control her so that she won't develop her self confidence and that she will not slim down so other men won't find her attractive and she will dump him as she becomes her own person and gets stronger -classic case. He probably needs to see a dr. to get some help for his own problems.
Oh dear, I feel like I am gossiping on the interet now But I do hope Terry does it for herself and her child. Everyone deserves the chance to find themselves and be happy with who they are
I feel for Terry. If she's let that guy hang around and has actually made an effort to keep him, she has some serious mountains to climb. What an *** he is.
As for Kim's e-mail to Angela - I THINK I understand what Kim was saying. I probably would've said some of the same things. You have to pay your bills, you have to feed your kid, you have to keep a roof over your head. Maybe other people are just more comfortable with - I dunno, Welfare or whatever her alternatives might be - but to me, sometimes you have to be practical. I don't know how much help a career councelor will be when she's trying to make rent. And I think Kim did mention that even if she dropped out with Dr. Phil, she still had the book and the GROUP would not drop out on her. I think the point she might've been trying to make is, "so you're not on tv, you can still do this, don't feel bad when you have to do what you have to do."
Also, I think Kim projects a tough image and seems like such a hardazz because everyone else is so mooshy and so many of them are have such dramatic stories. She doesn't have that horrible trauma background so she's not getting the sympathy vote, she doesn't have the tears or the big sad story. She seems pretty tough. I personally don't dislike that in a person - of course she could still turn out to be a Class A wench so maybe I should hold all opinions tlll the end
Originally posted by diphthong
I think it's going to be real interesting to watch Sarah, and yes it appears that her parents have let her get by with, - - - well, we'll see what happens.
I know teens like to sleep alot, but I think she needs abig dose of reality, self-accountability and responsibility.
Didn't we all at that age? And don't many of us now?
Quote:
Originally posted by diphthong
Me thinks she uses her victimhood to attempt to manipulate people to get what she needs or wants. For example, she said that if she wasn't one of the final 8, "that somebody just wrote me a death sentence." 1. Doesn't take responsibility for her condition, and 2. "If you don't pick me, I will die." (or was she insinuating suicide?) Then, she tried to convince everyone that she can't do the challenge because she can't afford it being unemployed. Well, how did she feed her daughter and herself before the challenge? When they showed a tape of her and her daughter eating together, it didn't appear to me that they were eating pancake and pasta because that's all she could afford. They were eating gigantic sandwiches they could barely get their mouths around.
I think she has had a job up to this point. I have to admit, I wondered what these people did for a living that would work with them around this kind of schedule for ten months. That's a lot to ask of any job.
Also, it's important to remember that Dr. Phil's camera crew didn't show up in the middle of a meal and start shooting. That was staged for maximum drama, which is one of the slight issues I have with this whole series - I feel so bad for these people. You KNOW these are all staged moments (the shots at home, of them eating, etc) and it has to be humiliating.
Quote:
Originally posted by diphthong
As for Kim - ppffft! I see right through her self-righteous, look at what I've got and you don't, fake persona. She is going to be a tough nut to crack because she thinks so highly of herself and it's easy for her to criticize the others. I bet by the time Dr. Phil gets done with her, she'll be on her knees crying her heart out. There's something there that's so deep, it's gonna take an awful lot of work to pull out. She consciously has no idea that she has some very deep-seated problem.
I think Kim did mention ONCE that she has a lot to be happy for and no real excuse or reason to drive her to be overweight and make herself miserable. I'm not sure how that makes her "self-righteous" or "fake."
Quote:
Originally posted by diphthong
What do you all think about Terry and her wonderful boyfriend? I think she will fail because of him.
And Judith - I wrote her off from day 1. I think Fred will do great, once he gets into it for Fred. I also think Monica and Barbara will do fantastic.
dip
I think Terry might surprise you. This might be just the thing she needs to send that guy packing. Her own motivation is very strong, I don't think she'll let him hold her back.
I don't have much of an impression about Judith at all. She seems to take it pretty seriously.
I'm trying to watch this closely and keep an open mind, I have already recognized a few of my behaviors or patterns or whatever in some of these people. Granted, it's not like, "Oh, so and so is JUST LIKE ME" but I am getting bits and pieces from all of them. Consequently, I don't like to write any of them off just yet. I'm even pulling for Leslie and Angela who are not people I would like in real life, but I'm sure eventually I'll be able to take something away from each of them that will help me in my efforts.
JUST WANTED TO ADD: I'm so glad to find other people to hash this out with - I always have so many thoughts flying around during and after a show, it's FABULOUS to have someone (or a group of someones) to discuss it with! YAY!
It is so much easier when your spouse, family or roomate is OP with you 
A Big AW RIGHT! for Mr. K! That is so great to hear (read) about his support.
He sounds like has issues of his own - I can't believe the things he said to her on the phone when she called him from the mansion. It was all about him and his feelings and that stuff about how he would go back on drugs while she was away - for pete's sake, she was only gone for 3 freakin'days! What a selfish beast! 
But I do hope Terry does it for herself and her child. Everyone deserves the chance to find themselves and be happy with who they are 
