Ok, confession time :
Once again I'm battling the scale, with no victory in sight. How many times do I have to go through this and do it to myself?
I've been having quite severe knee pain since last fall. As it became worse two months ago, I got scared, and last week finally went to the dr., hoping and praying it wouldn't be a condition that required surgery. We're heading into our busy, insane season at work, which requires me to be on my feet for up to 45 hours a week, and I was worried about getting through it.
Turns out, I've got arthritis under the kneecap, and the kneecap is moved to the side of my knee, rubbing bone on bone, which accounts for the pain. I got a cortisone shot in my knee, which reduced some swelling and pain for a couple of days.
BUT, if I lose weight, it will help relieve the pain. The dr. explained that when you go up a stair, 3 x your weight is put on the knee with every step! I don't even want to think about that He said if I even lose 10 pounds, that's 30 pounds less weight on each and every step.
And here I sit, feeling sorry for myself, and not wanting to get back on WW, which, by the way, I fell off of a couple of weeks ago.
I've been getting by with ibuprofen. The dr. offered stronger pain killers, but I refused; have a high pain threshold and don't want to take things like that. He said that I have to take the ibuprofen 3 times a day, and have my regular dr. monitor my kidney and liver because of it.
What the &*(@# is wrong with me?????? I know I've got to lose, but have no desire to begin once again. Walking is out of the question, even on the treadmill. Here I was, struggling to get in at least a mile each day, thinking that I would strengthen whatever was wrong with my knee. Now I'm not allowed to do any stairs, kneel, or squat.
I'm beginning physical therapy on Monday, for 12 sessions, to strengthen my quad (thigh) muscles, which, in turn, will help take some of the burden off the knee.
I debated about coming in here and whining. I think it's far too negative and detracts from those of you who are doing so well. Just wanted to vent...and it does feel better to do so. I know I have to get my head in the right place, and get on WW. I've gotta do this. That's all there is to it. Yet I can't bring myself to go to a meeting, do well one week, and then fail again. That's the problem...have been down that road far too many times. I actually feel like an idiot. Have been coming here since 1999, and weigh more now than when I began.
Ok, that's enough whining.
luv you guys,
~Jen
Jen - I'm so sorry to hear about your knee and the pain you're going through. But YOU give up?? I don't think so. You are the QUEEN OF THE FRESH START!! That's what has been keeping you here all these years - your strenth and will to keep trying. I think you need to take one day at a time - when you think of losing even 10 lbs. it can be overwhelming. Maybe you should commit to one thing each day - like trying to stay on program one day, then the next day tracking...... take baby steps, my friend. But more than anything else, its important to take care of yourself and do what the doctor tells you.
Jen, you've inspired me more than I can tell you. How many times I stopped coming in here when I was doing poorly, but you came here no matter what - whether you were doing well or not. The one steady thing I could always count on was that you would be here when I came back (and Terri & Es too). That gave me hope when I felt like doing nothing, not even coming in to say hi. You made me come back. Please don't ever worry about whining in here - just come in and bring your "whine list" with you We're all here for each other - that's been proven many times over. I hope things get better for you!
My dear friend Jen ~ As I sit here, wiping my tears for you, I am reminded of myself, not wanting to 'start again' and all the times that I stayed away from you due to not being 'OP' as they say. Sure, we all go though those times and we all have our ups and many downs........you are loved here. I don't know how many of you have actually met in person but without ever SEEING you or anyone else here, I've come to know and love each of you. You have so many friends here (and I'm sure, there at home) so just know that our prayers for your health, legs, knees and yes, weight loss, are with you daily. I am at a loss for words right now because I feel so deeply for you and your, for lack of a better word, 'situation'.
We're here for you whenver you want to 'whine' or cry. We're here for you to punch and scream at......just know that and................<sigh>....I'll be back later....
Jen,
I am with you on this more than you can know. I have arthritis in my knees also, and probably in my hips too. It runs in my family. I know only too well that extra weight makes it that much worse and perhaps even causes most of the pain. I have spent more hours, days, and even months kicking myself for not taking better care of myself.
But what's done is done. We have the tendency to take care of everyone else first. Now is the time to believe your needs are the most essential. How can we enjoy ourselves to the fullest with family and friends if we are suffering with pain. When you take care of yourself, all of the fun is that much sweeter.
I am currently exercising using a stationary bike and an ellipitical trainer, it puts lots less stress on the knees. I am also using some weight machines at the gym to strengthen my quads too. This is very slow going, I have been working on it since last October, and not consistantly. I remind myself of my friends here and the mantras we each develop for ourselves. "Queen of the Fresh Start", and "life gets in the way". Persistance and pulling ourselves up by the bootstraps counts. I realize that there will be advances and setbacks. I have been taking lots of Ibuprofen too over the past few years, but as my weight has gradually come down, I actually forget to take it, as the pain in my joints is less.
Let's stick together, venting and a cry for help is only the smallest part of why we are all here.
Love,
Sandy
After a long journey down the wrong path,. . . I'm back.
Good morning all. I see that the last time I visited 3FC at all was over a year ago. I see so many familiar names. Why I stopped coming here when you all were so supportive is beyond me, but I'm back.
Jen -- I understand exactly what you are saying. I, too, am up in weight. I have no idea how it got this high, but it has. As what has already been said, maybe take one day at a time. I know at this point, that is all I can do. While I have my "ultimate" goal, I'm concentrating on eating healthier and exercising more just in my daily life (take stairs, no elevators, etc.). I can't even imagine the pain you must be feeling. I'm so sorry that you have to go through it. That said, I also know (I remember you from when I posted before) that you can do it. Things may not look so great at the moment, but you have many friends here that are here to help you. You were among those who were so warm and friendly to me when I joined this group over a year ago. Please know that I am right there with you, every step of the way.
To all the other supportive members of this group -- I'm glad you are all still here. I look foward to catching up with all of you and getting to know those who joined after I left.
Last edited by leeannm901; 03-31-2005 at 01:33 PM.
Jen, so sorry about your knee. Sounds so painful. About WW...I've been going thru the same thing for a very long time now. The girls gave you some great advice. Me? I can't because I feel the same way you do. I ask myself the same question all the time. Why can't I do this? One thing I do know is that I'm not giving up. Hang in there.
Leeann, welcome back! Are you going to meetings or doing it on your own?
Sandy, exercise does help. I haven't been doing it as much as I used to but now that the weather is getting warmer I'm going to start walking after work.
You all have inspired me throughout the years. Without this website & all of you I probably would have given up a long time ago. Through good times & bad we're still here. I love you all.
Jen,
I am so sorry about your knee. I think me having scoliosis and the pain getting worse as I got older helped me lose the weight. I just kept imagining how much better it would feel if I lost some. Just think if you lose 10 it is actually like losing 30 according to your knee. Maybe you can do water aerobics. That is so good for those who can't put stress on their knees, legs and backs.
I think all of us are "Queens of the fresh Starts". I started fresh I do not know how many times. Now I am "Queen of 'Hope I do well today.' " I am never positive on any given day. I hit lifetime in 1985 and it took until 2001 to relose the 50 I lost. I started back fresh in 1989 (lost 20), 1993 (Lost that same 20 after I found it again), 1994 (found the 20 + 10 more again but only lost 15), 1998 (lost 25 of the 30 I found). Then it clicked in 2001. That time I had to lose 60. It is so hard and we all have that life gets in the way every now and then.
You have been here before me and I always look forward to hearing from you. I feel I know you and your family. You can come on here anytime and say ANYTHING you want. You inspire me to be a better woman. You are loved by so many. I love hearing about the big family get togethers.
Just think if you didn't keep doing WW. I know if I didn't all the years I didn't lose as much as I wanted I would have been 400 pounds easily the way I ate and didn't exercise. At least you don't let the weight get too out of control. I know a woman that is happy that she remains at 200 pounds instead of 300. She knows she could get there if she let herself. She started back 2 weeks ago for another go and we all clapped for her and our leader told her how proud she was of her. Our leader started back 5 times before she lost her 70 pounds. She says it is still hard. I guess it always will be.
Remember Jen. We are your second family and we love you and you can whine, yell, or cheer. NEVER LEAVE.
That goes for all of us. You too Zoe. Stay with us. We love ya no matter what.
Leeann,
Hi. Nice to hear from you again. Don't be a stranger.
Hi Dianne, Es, Sandy, Ruth (where are you?), Theresa
Es, I think there are a large number of us who have said "why can't I do this" many times. I know I have. I figure if losing weight were that easy to do, there wouldn't be any overweight people. You hit the nail right on the head -- don't give up. I ordered the WW payment coupons online and will attend my first meeting (in way too many years) on Saturday morning. I tried doing WW on my own and was successful at first, but when life happened, the WW accountability was the first this to go. Between the actual accountability during the weekly meetings and the support from here, it should be a good combination.
Terri, you impress me with your weight loss. It may not have been an up and down road, but you kept going and persevered. It is very easy to forget that life gets in the way. With all the things that each of us do and get done, that may be why we don't understand why we can't do this. I suspect that it is nothing more than when life does get in the way, everything else becomes more important that us. It is hard to say "I'm worth spending time on to make myself better" when there are so many other things that need our attention. It is unfortunate that so often it takes something like an illness or medical condition to wake us up. Congratulations on your success so far.
Good morning to Jen, Dianne, Sandy, Zoe and Theresa. I hope everyone has a good day.
Hi Everyone! Welcome back Leann, I hope you will make this your WW home for support. This is the best place to build friendships that go way beyond the WW part of our lives. Dear Jen, I find myself rereading everyone's posts and I cannot imagine better advice or a more nurturing group. We are truly here for each other. I hope you are feeling better today painwise. I have been thinking of you ever since you posted, and I know that huge feeling of frustation with myself too. I am holding a hanky for you, cause you might need to have a good cry, and then start again here with all of your friends, taking one day or even one hour at a time. Post often, vent here!!! Dianne, you have a great point about taking it in baby steps. It is so hard to overcome our lifetime of habits, but we can do it.
I don't know if there is such as a thing as a permanent "click". I guess I have 2 little mantras that I am trying out.."Persistance, not perfection" and "Embracing the journey"
Hi to Zoe, Terri, Es, and our dear MIA's Ruth, Susan, Janie
Leann, we can start together. I just rejoined for 200th time. It felt so good sitting there & hearing all the successes. I'll be going Fridays after work. I was shocked when I stepped on the scale. Congrats on getting back on track.
Jen, I'm thinking of you. You know you & I have struggled the most out of this group. We can do this. Lots of people have lost without exercise. Sure it helps but for now focus on your knee. Take those baby steps. Start with 10 lbs. I'm sending you a big cyber {{{{{hug}}}}}}
Sandy, I like your mantras. There's always something that will get in the way. If we fall & pick ourselves up right away we can hold our heads high & say I WILL keep on keeping on no matter what.
Terri, you have always my mentor. I read your post 3 times today. It inspired me so much that I walked into that WW center today with a whole new attitude.
Zoe, and you stick with us no matter what OK? How's that beautiful house of yours?
Dianne, Easter was very quiet. This was the first time David didn't spend it with us. He spent it with his girlfriend. She lives in the Bronx.
We're getting some nasty weather tomorrow. No plans. Maybe we'll just rent some movies.
Es,
I have tears in my eyes from your post. It feels so good to know that something I might have said helped. Lord knows there have been so many things said in the last few years on here that have helped me. I am so proud of you for going with this new attitude. Noone is perfect in anything especially in the area of weightloss. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. It is continuual and that is the hard part. As soon as I figured out it is a lifetime thing and not just until the reunion, wedding or vacation it seemed easier. In the past as I was losing and looking forward to losing weight before a special event I would freak if I didn't get close to my goal (which was usually unrealistic) but this last time I didn't freak I went with the attitude that I was thinner and that it would still be noticeable.
I want to thank you too for all of your help in every aspect of my life. I love how you always ask about Brittany. BTW she says HI and Hugs.
Sandy,
Great mantras.
These are attached to my e-mail signature.
1. If you work the program the program will work for you.
2. Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.
Leeann,
There is no perfect solution. We just have to think correctly. So much of this is in the mind. Not being deprived has helped me tremendously. I eat anything I want in smaller portions. I had to figure when I could eat them. I eat my sodium cravings the 2 days after weigh-in and no high sodium foods 3 days before weigh-in. Sat. and Sun. are my fun days. That is when I use flexpoints and have my favorite foods. Mon.-Fri. I only eat my target points and exercise and if I get a craving I tell myself that i can have it Saturday. It really gets me through my week. I really have no reason to go off program. It isn't a perfect fix but it is darn close.
Jen - How are you doing? I've been thinking of you all day. I hope you take to heart everything everyone has said here - we are your friends and here for you always. Take those baby steps, sometimes that's the only way we can work it. We all have our different ways to work the program. I have to take one day at a time or I will totally overwhelm myself. I hope your pain has lessend somewhat. Take care of you.
ZoeGirl - I forgot to congratulate you on your loss great job!
Es - Congrats on going back to ww, amiga - that's a giant step forward. I'm so proud of you
Terri - At least one thing everyone here has said struck home with me - with you, it was the fact that this is a lifetime thing - this is not a race. I tell my stepdaughter Lisa that when she complains about how slow her weight loss is going, especially in the beginning. I try to make her realize that if she wasn't doing this she could very well continue to gain. I think once I realized that myself, I felt like a huge burden lifted. It was like, I don't have to lose a lot and quickly - I can take my time because this is the change I want to make in my life.
LeeAnn - WELCOME BACK!! Sorry I didn't welcome you back earlier - I wasn't ignoring you, just a little preoccupied You too said something that stands out - we, as women, have a hard time putting ourselves first. With us, its always family or work or whatever. We are worth taking the time to take care of ourselves and we should not feel guilty about it, another obstacle we women put in our own way - guilt. Willie knows that Saturday morning is my time to go to ww - period, the end. And he encourages me. We need that too.
Sandy - I can't remember if I congratulated you on your loss - you are doing great! Your mantras are great - persistance not perfection - so true and embracing the journey too. So, if we fall 40 times, we just start over - that's the beauty of it, every day is a new day to start again.
The point is, we are gonna have ups and downs, life is gonna get in the way. That doesn't mean tomorrow or the next day won't be better. Let's stop thinking of this journey as a quick fix, quick loss for a party, wedding, etc. Let's just do the best we can everyday - one day at a time. It relieves the stress of "dieting" - knowing this is a lifetime thing and not a race.
Anyway, let me get off my soapbox - its just that this hard time that Jen is going through right now, I think has made us all realize that there will be ups and downs, celebrations and disappointments - its all part of the journey. Let's just be here for each to lean on in good times and bad.
Have a great weekend everyone. Talk to you's soon.
You don't need to be a Hollywood psychologist with a big office on Rodeo
Drive to appreciate the power of food.
Food is totally yummy.
Food makes us feel good.
No wonder we eat for comfort.
We'd be crazy not to.
Some people think that comfort-eating is some kind of psycho-disease, but it's not. It's completely normal and understandable. I do it all the time. (munch)
The problem is, most people eat the wrong food. (oops)
Take Julie, for example.
Julie is experiencing a couple of problems. (1) The company she works for is down-sizing and she's worried about her job. (2) Her sister has just separated from her husband and is dumping all her anxieties and financial worries on Julie.
As a result, Julie has started comfort-eating to reduce stress. On most evenings she eats several big helpings of luxury ice cream and if there's buttered popcorn or a spare donut hanging about she eats that too. To begin with, it was weekends only. Now it's most days.
As a result, Julie has gained 8 pounds in six weeks.
Has Julie's extra eating brought her any real comfort?
No.
Instead of helping her, it's made her feel worse. (ouch)
Because now, in ADDITION to her three problems, she feels fat and uncomfortable. Her pants are cutting into her waist, her favorite work suit doesn't fit, and she feels MORE lethargic and LESS able to handle the aggravation in her life.
This isn't comfort-eating - it's discomfort-eating.
Julie is Brainwashed Into Eating Junk
Julie is like millions of women all over the world. She thinks that eating ice cream and other foods with instant "taste" will help to reduce the stress in her life. But it ain't true. These junk foods increase stress. Not only are they high in calories, they play havoc with our blood-sugar levels causing rebound hunger and cravings.
Like I say, this isn't comfort-eating - it's discomfort-eating.
Stuff like ice cream, donuts, cookies, candy and buttered popcorn are loaded with instant taste. The instant kick they provide comes mainly from excessive amounts of fat and sugar. Deliciously yummy in small occasional doses, but deadly in regular everyday doses. You get 2 minutes of sheer pleasure, 60 minutes of guilt and a pair of fat thighs. And that's only for starters.
After a few weeks of overeating this kind of junk, don't be surprised if you lose your taste for good food, and start to feel extra tired and irritable.
If they still fit you, your clothes are going to feel tight and uncomfortable. And when you look in the mirror, you'll see bulges appearing on your thighs, waist and - ohmigod! - an extra chin.
Real comfort-eating means eating stuff that makes you feel good. Not just for 2 minutes, but for hours and hours. Real comfort-eating should make life better, not worse.
Okay, maybe I'm stating the obvious.
But I like obvious.
Instead of fuelling up with junk-food that gives you 2 minutes of pleasure followed by months of depression as you watch your shape deteriorate, try eating different foods:
Sweet Snacks For Real Comfort
- Sugar-free hot chocolate
- Sugar-free hot chocolate with mini-marshmallows
- Handful of dried fruit (eg. apricots), any unsalted nuts and seeds
- Snack-size fat-free chocolate pudding
- Sugar-free jello with cool-whip
- Fruit yogurt with tablespoon of granola
- Canned fruit in juice with cool-whip
- Bowl of sorbet or low-fat frozen yogurt
- Granola (or oats) with low-fat milk
- Any mixture of chopped fruit with cool-whip
- Cinnamon-raisin toast with a little butter
- Sourdough English muffin with jelly/preserves
- Medium banana
Savory Snacks For Real Comfort
- Babybel cheese and an apple
- Chopped veggies (carrots, celery, peppers) with salsa/chili dip
- Baked tortilla chips with salsa
- Slices of ham or turkey wrapped around a carrot stick
These snacks will satisfy your sweet-tooth (without inflating your thighs) and fill you up. And don't forget, what's good for you is also good for the kids.
Yes, it may mean buying a few new foods. (gulp)
Yes, making a sandwich or chopping veggies does take a few minutes. (ouch)
Cheesecake is one of my favorites. YUM!
WARNING: long and depressing post
: 
He said if I even lose 10 pounds, that's 30 pounds less weight on each and every step. 
We're all here for each other - that's been proven many times over. I hope things get better for you! 
After a long journey down the wrong path,. . . I'm back.
but I'm back. 
Between the actual accountability during the weekly meetings and the support from here, it should be a good combination. 
I'm so proud of you 
You too said something that stands out - we, as women, have a hard time putting ourselves first. With us, its always family or work or whatever. We are worth taking the time to take care of ourselves and we should not feel guilty about it, another obstacle we women put in our own way - guilt. Willie knows that Saturday morning is my time to go to ww - period, the end. And he encourages me. We need that too. 