Morning all! How did everyone fair yesterday. I didn't do so well. It was a depressing day at work so I emotional ate. (One of my coworkers who we all LOVE husband died We all kind of pigged out with our emotions. Someone brought in brownies and bagels cream cheese. It is so sad that we do counseling yet we tend to cope with food. Anyways so that was a downer and of course rumours are flyign again about the agency's funding blah blah blah. THEN I went to water aerobics which was a great stress reliever but after DH and I went house shopping and so instead of making sandwiches we picked up fast food. SOOO bad bad day yesterday. I hope that all of you did better!
Jayne You definitely have to come around today and give us one of your questions!! I am just not the creative chica that you are
Well ladies I am going to work but I will pop in soon and see if ANYONE is around!
Morning Becky! Did you see any interesting houses yesterday?
About eating yesterday.....we went to Red Lobster for dinner. 'Nough said.
I have a question for all of you regarding (gasp!) finances. If it is too personal to answer, please ignore me.
For those of you who have lived with a partner or been married, how did you handle bank accounts? Did you have a joint; his and hers; mine, yours, ours? Did you handle checking different from savings? Were you married or shacking up? If you shacked up and then later married, did you change how you handled things?
I know you all know why I'm asking so we won't go there. Suffice it to say that we had decided on a his/hers system and divied up household bills between us with each responsibe for personal (think cell phones) bills. I was pretty happy with this arrangement. Mostly because he doesn't have a very good credit record and a big chunk of credit card debt (which he is paying off - just not as fast as I would). Plus he cosigned on school loans for a sibling and while they aren't quite due yet, the sibling shows no sign of gainful employment or ability to pay. I have excellent credit and more debt than him - only mine is in the form of a mortgage. Yesterday, he suggested a joint checking for household bills and a joint savings for trips, wedding, etc. We've made several purchases together and it's not as though I think I'd put my money into a joint account and he'd run off with it but I really wanted to keep finances separate the credit card debt/school loan thing was resolved. I know in a lifelong relationship that you should accept someone warts and all but I worked really, really hard for my house and am terrified that if we join finances, some creditor could go after my house if he became unable to pay off debt or required to pay siblings debt.
So that is my long, way too much information story. I'd really appreciate suggestions from those of you who are financially savvy (I'm not) or have been through this before.
Wow! Time flies. Things have been crazy and I am recovering from weekend fun. My Hubby & I went to visit some friends right out of D.C. We had so much fun and were so busy...that I don't think I went over on my points. BUT, we drove home on Monday and a 6 hours ride was laced with fast food. Yuck! Not even the good fast food...the kind that has been sitting under the heat lamps for who knows how long.
Yesterday I think I was on program. I wrote everything down until dinner becasue we headed to the In-Laws and had a late night. Today I am doing well though. We will see on Saturday when I weigh in.
Financing -
I have a joint acount with the Hubby (checking, savings, 401k, etc). But he has excellent credit and we are both very responsible. I do have two other friends who are having trouble because 1) One couple, the guy is divorced and has several expenses. The woman has great credit and is afraid that if she joins their accounts that her husband's ex-wife might have access to her funds. So they are still figuring it out.
My other couple 2) The guy is divorced and has terrible debt. She has perfect credit and doesn't want to ruin what she has tried so hard to maintain. They also havne't decided what to do yet.
Sorry that doesn't help.
I have to get going. I'll be back in a bit.
PS - I did the Firm tape yesterday and it was GREAT. Today is my day of rest and I will do the next one tomorrow.
PSS - Hello to everyone and I'll try to reply personally later.
Laura~ Yikes, lots of tough questions. I will answer the easy one first I am such a chicken. We did drive by a house that we liked and the realtor is supposed to be letting me know when we can see it.
Secondly, Dh and I share accounts and began sharing shortly before our marriage. It is difficult I am quick to admit but I have gotten so used to it and now it is actually a blessing. He, however is the one with the better credit although mine is all paid off now and is improving. For us it was not a debate b/c in our minds the money each of us make is OUR money. I feel however that ONE of you has to do the balancing of the checkbook and the other has to be extremely honest and tell the other about withdrawals, purchases etc. b/c if two of you are writing checks and not recording it together it could be a huge mess. I guess that is just what we do. It is really up to you and I think you should just share your concerns iwth him. BE careful though! I have found this is a sensitive subject for men especially. Well good luck I hope that helped a little!
Hey Cuba~ Glad you had such a great wknd. Good luck at WI on Saturday.
Ugh. Money handling. Before we were married (and just shacking up), we took turns paying the rent, divvied up the utilities and each paid our own individual bills (ie my credit cards, car payment, etc.) When we got married, we got joint checking and savings accounts, which I sorta of keep track of. By that I mean: I was very good at balancing the checkbook at first, but it's been a struggle getting him to give me all his receipts. So mostly I just check the online account and make sure we have enough money. Not a good way to do things, I know, and we don't seem to be saving anything.
I did not eat well yesterday. Slice of pizza for lunch and dinner was a buffalo chicken wrap ... as in fried chicken tenders drenched in buffalo sauce, with onion rings. DH and I went to see Blues Traveler (great show!) and I only had one drink, so that was good, but the scale was up this morning. I've got to get back on the wagon. I've been eating out too much.
I'm also feeling old. We didn't get home until 1:30 a.m. and I feel like I'm going to die. I could barely open my eyes when the alarm went off at 8:30. Does everything start going downhill after you turn 30? Do we just feel our age more? I can't believe I used to pull all-nighters in college, and I'm actually really terrified about the lack of sleep when I have a baby one day. Jayne, other moms, how do you deal with the lack of sleep? I think losing sleep scares me more than the thought of labor pain! I'm serious!
Hey preggie women: If you don't mind, would you share what your early symptoms of being PG were? I'm just curious about what I should look out for. Thanks!
Still on my extended blackout long weekend. Ontario's power supply is more fragile than the NE US's, so non-essential services gov workers are still at home...
I cleaned this morning and will rearrange a lot of stuff this afternoon.
What a Great Day to Start Fresh...and I'm doing just that today!
I was just reading through posts and wanted to pop in and add my two cents worth.
I went to my WI and meeting last night and was delighted to learn that Weight Watchers had just launched a new program. That meant new books, new journals, a new way of counting points and a new, fresh start.
So today is my first day on WW (the new program) and I am happy to say that I'm very excited and motivated this time. I even managed a workout at the gym last night (the first since the end of May.) I went home last night feeling great and read through all my new material, took before pictures and really changed my mind-set.
So, here I am today on day one and looking forward to taking it one day at a time.
Laura - your question made me think alot about the current situation with FH (Future Husband.) We do have a joint savings account, although nothing is going in or out of it right now, it's still there. We also have a joint Money Market account, where all our savings are going into (the bank automatically takes the funds from our account.) We are currently saving to buy a house, but we both are still living with our parents.
We have always thought of the money we have as 'our' money. There has never really been a distinction between this is mine and this is yours. Mind you, we do that with the cars and everything else really. The only reason that all of our accounts haven't been turned into joint accounts was that FH was saving for my engagement ring and didn't want me to know what was going where. But I have the ring now and as soon as we buy the house (around Christmas time) everything will be joint.
Our credit records have both been pretty crappy from alot of mistakes made in our younger years (why I never listened to my parents is beyone me and I'm certainly paying for that now...why is it that they are always right?) but we are slowly getting better. My credit rating is good now and almost clean and we are now working on getting FH's fixed.
I currently pay all the bills except for his Visa and his car and insurance payments. But I have fallen a little behind and am struggling to get back on track. A really great book to read if you are interested is 'The Courage to Be Rich' by Suze Orman. It's a really good book and I am just re-reading it again for more inspiration.
Also - just FYI, one thing I learned earlier is that any account that is open at the bank, that has both names on it (like a joint account) makes you vulnerable to whatever the other person does. When FH and I broke up for a couple of months I was very hesitant to close our joint account and didn't know how to do it. The bank manager told me that by keeping it a joing account I was automatically added to his credit report and that would allow creditors to come after me if he ever had any problems. It's something worth looking into if you are worried about it.
I'm still working on getting to know everyone and there names, but I'm really enjoying being a part of the group (and hopefully can contribute more as my successes start getting better) so I still can't do personal responses.
But I wish everyone a great day in the heat...hopefully everyone survives unscathed. Today is going to be a great day and I wish everyone the same.
Finally have a chance to respond today! My car wasn't as bad as it could have been - just the fuel filter! And they found a nail in a tire, so add a couple tires into the mix, still under $300 - thank God! The other good news I have is that my roommate's birthday cake is finally gone, so no more temptation... of course, it's gone cuz we ate it all....
Tomorrow I've got to help my sister move into her dorm room so I took it off of work, am totally going to enjoy that and visiting the campus (she's going the same place I did)
Becky - hope your day goes better
Lori - Sara is beautiful -- congratulations!
Jess & Jen - glad to see you both jumped in for a second in your busy lives! come visit as often as you can
Laura, mmm red lobster. definitely a downfall, those biscuits are killer. Of course, i shouldn't be talking, i went to godfather's pizza buffet for supper...
Cuba - sounds like you had a great weekend!
Kim - I love blues traveller - sounds like it would be a great concert!
Hey ali, as much as losing electric would bite, it sounds like a great way to get out of work!
Hiya girls! We finally are getting some relief in the heat-it rained a smidge this am & the high today is only supposed to be 25C! That's ten degrees less than yesterday! So I am baking some low fat muffins. Its so nice to be able to use the oven!
I ended up eating over my points last night-argh! Today is a new day though & I have everything planned out.
Laura, as for the money stuff when we lived together we had separate accounts but the money was really both "ours". We maintained it that way b/c we were both involved with student loan & they give you more if you ar single than if yo are common law/married. Now we have one joint account & we each have a separate account. My brother & his ex had a joint account & they broke up after 2.5 yrs of living together & he got burned. She moved to a separate town & they won't let him take his name off of the account b/c she has to be here to sign the papers & she was in town but refused to go to the bank. His credit is all screwed b/c she's racked up a bunch of debt with both of their names on it. He's talked to the creditors about what he has to do to get his name off & the only way is to completely pay everything off himself. She refuses to make any payments of any kind. She is a real bag-who would have thought. When they were dating she was peachy keen.
Becky, sorry to hear your house hunting woes continue!
Kim, I'm jealous! I love Blues Traveller!
JenL, funny I was just wondering where you were a couple days ago & here you pop in! I hope that you manage to find some time for yourself soon.
Ang good news about your car! Have fun helping your sister.
Cuba sounds like you had a great weekend. Wtg with keeping mostly on track!
Humber don't feel like you have to respond to each of us personally-just do what you can. We're glad to have you as part of our group. We don't judge & its ok to share when things aren't as successfula s you want. Sometimes it helps to get it out.
Ali, do you get paid when they keep you home from work? Either way its nice to have unplanned days at home when you are healthy enough to enjoy them!
How is everyone else doing today? Hope you have time to visit!
Hey Girls! Thanks for all your responses. Don't worry - I did start talking to him about this before posting - it is just that he left on a 5 day trip and the discussion was unfinished and eats at me. And just so you don't worry about what I'm getting myself into, he is very responsible now - he just wasn't in his 20's and is still paying for it. I really do think of everything as our income and our bills but I honestly think we as a couple are better off financially by keeping things separate right now. I've heard that if we have joint bank accounts or credit that creditors will view us as having joint finances. I'm afraid if the sibling doesn't/isn't able to payback school loans, they'll go after CB as the cosigner. That would put us in a world of hurt. I figure if we keep things separate on paper, that our house would be safe because it is in my name. Does that make sense?
Enough wallowing about me.
Cuba - Which Firm tape did you do?
Kim - I notice how much more tired I get now too.
Humber - I start back to WW meetings tomorrow. I hope they've rolled out the new program here!
Angie - congrats on the car repair being so cheap!
Becky - all it means is that your dream house is still out there waiting for you.
Hi Ali! Hi Rina! Hi Jess, Jayne and other lurkers.
OK, I am here to whine a little. We had a storm this morning that blew out the transformer right outside of our building... well, it just came back on, but in the meantime, 2 people that bug the crap out of me went out almost 2 hours ago for lunch, still aren't back and I am starving. I can't leave because we are shorthanded for phones and I need to be here to answer them. I am majorly irked. This happens a lot, but can't say anything because they are both related to me and one is the president here.
So I am starving.
Kim... check out websites for PG symptoms because they can be different for everyone. For 3 months I thought I was PG and never was. But for each PG I was for sure PG when I felt like I had the flu. I was completely wiped out, and in bed by 8 o'clock. That is how I knew. Sore breasts were not a sign for me because they felt sore, but I wasn't PG.
And for sleep... I am still exhausted 4 months later. The night feedings are the worst. I can't tell you how many times I fell asleep nursing and woke up 2 hours later with a sleeping baby in my lap. Kind of scary. Trust me, it doesn't get better for a long time. You will be exhausted while PG because you are uncomfortable or can't sleep, then exhausted after they are born... But trust me, it is NOT worse than labor pain. I had both babies with absolutely NO DRUGS. I felt every little thing. Any questions, I will be happy to tell you. I don't know many people that go without drugs, it's just not common now a days. That was a huge accomplishment for me. I wanted to be all natural!
As for finances. We were separate until a couple months before the wedding. And now we only have one checkbook. I carry it in my purse. When hubby needs it, he takes it. That way we know what checks are written. Now with bank cards, that is a different story, but on-line banking is a lifesaver. Definately sign up for it. Then you know what is coming out of your accounts!
Wednesday~ August 20th
We all kind of pigged out with our emotions. Someone brought in brownies and bagels cream cheese. It is so sad that we do counseling yet we tend to cope with food. Anyways so that was a downer and of course rumours are flyign again about the agency's funding blah blah blah. THEN I went to water aerobics which was a great stress reliever but after DH and I went house shopping and so instead of making sandwiches we picked up fast food. SOOO bad bad day yesterday. I hope that all of you did better!
Hey everyone
Oh well!
