I am the queen of starting the threads before the day technically begins, but like our wonderful Canadian friends said, when you post late in the day, there's only about 3 people that read it. And since I'm one of the three, I know this! And I just couldn't resist the thread name, with all of the foo foo discussion. Speaking of foo foo coffe, I am so addicted to chai lattes it's not even funny. I even order a mix off the internet because it's a really expensive habit for me. Each chai latte costs me 3 points, and I would estimate that I spend 9 points a day on my addiction. Scary! But as long as I crave it so badly, I work it in...if I didn't I would resist it all day but go nuts later in the day as a sort of rebellion.
I was at this workshop for the last few days. It was mostly borning, so I was doing some people watching while I was there. I wouldn't say these observations to anyone out loud, but I just have to get it out here what I did see. A woman sat next ot me, whom I would guess was easily 150 lbs over a healthy weight. And I've been on the heavier side of where I should be, so that part isn't such a big deal to me. It's the way she was. She was the most negative, cynical, and bitter person that I've ever met in my life. We did a lot of group work, and every comment I had about our work was met with snide remarks about,"Well, I guess 22 year olds have the kind of energy to implement that in their teaching." or "Who are you sleeping with to get that kind of thing out of the school district's budget", or, my personal favorite,"Boy, you really do live in happy la-la-land, don't you?" She was so completely unhappy. She really seemed to have no sense of self-worth apart from that which she got from making excuses about why everything was so much easier for me than her. Never mind that none of her excuses held water, seeing as how I'm 28 and not 22, and that my school's budget is no different than any other's. As for happy la-la land, I think I am living in normal world and she is living in whiner *****-***** land. But, believe it or not, this isn't even about her rude behavior. It's about her eating. She ate constantly. In the morning, she showed up with 2 doughnuts on a plate that she brought in with her, and a big bottle of coke. She had those gone in no time, and moved on to squeezing lemons that were provided for our tea, into a cup and adding sugar packets and water to make lemonade. We started at 8:30, and by our 10:00 break, she was up collecting more food. This time it was 2 giant muffins and a roll of mints. She ate the muffins fast and crunched down the whole roll of mints. She then made herself more "lemonade". At lunch, she ate her soup cup, her sandwich, and half the basket of chips that was intended for the whole table. Then she ate not only all the dessert candy in the middle of our table, but went aorund and collected from the other tables. THe afternoon was 2 more b20 oz. cokes and a box of crackers. We invited her to go out with the rest of us for dinner, but she declined, saying she just wanted to eat a pizza in her room. The next day was much of the same, except that this time, during lunch, she took 3 rolls out of the basket that only held one for each person at the table. You may ask why I have such a vivid memory of what she ate and when, and I guess it's unusual to remember it that clearly, but quite frankly, I was just playing amateur psychologist. She had clearly shown, through her language and behavior towards others, that she felt inadequate in that room. She then ate away her unhappiness. Now it's not her actions that horrified me so much, but the fact that I could find myself in her behaviors. I make lots of excuses about why I fail at things, without addressing the real reasons. Like tht I am overweight and that's why someone doesn't like me, instead of realizing that I didn't make a whole lot of effort at being their friend first and asking about them...I just wanted to talk about myself or I had convinced myself in advance that they weren't going to like me because I was overweight. Or that I no one really has enough energy to do exercise regularly, when the fact is that many people manage quite well, and there is no reason that I am different from them except by my attitude.
Sorry that this is such a long and boring read, but I had to get it out somewhere. It was just exploding inside of me. But I will be a good fat chick today and answer lots of posts, since I am finally home again!
Jayne: Hey, ya, from reading about that lady I identified some behaviours I used to have to... I used to use my weight as an excuse for everything... Why I didn't have a boyfriend, why I never got a lead in a play etc etc. Made me negative and very cynical... Well a few years before I started losing weight my attitude improved a lot, and in many ways I think that attitude adjusment was the key to my success. I started becoming accountable for my actions and trying to improve things. It got to a point though, I felt to reach my potential I would have to lose weight. I did it because I felt good about myself, but not good about the extra pounds on me. It's funny, I am a very secure person now and I think once I lost the weight I realized the only obstacles I had were ones I created for myself.... It's hard to get out of the negative mindset.. Sadly I used to eat like that lady. I hope I never made such catty comments though. I found I got some catty comments at WW meetings from people... like "well it's easy for you to lose weight since you're young"... I mean it's never easy to lose 100lbs... it took a lot of effort (heck losing 10lbs can be hard even for us young'uns... are lifestyle is often much less stable too).
Eek, looks like I might lose a roomate and guess what"? He never mentioned this at all. I heard it from his fiancee.... I wish he'd tell me these things first (he might be leaving Ottawa).
Also, I went out with a really nice guy last night, we have a lot of the same goals and mindset which was cool... He already sent me an e-mail saying he's like to go out again. the only problem? He's just got out of a 5 1/2 year relationship... He talked about his ex quite a bit, although he was the one who ended the relationship.. I am unsure what to do. I am thinking of telling him I just want to be friends for now... but he was a real angel of a guy.... Like he could definitely be boyfriend material, but not just yet. I just don't want to be a rebound-chick. Gosh I have dated way too many guys this year
Anyhoo, toodles everyone!!
Ali
have a foo foo friday (though my best friend calls her baby bro foo foo).. cute expression though
Hey Chicks ARG I was good and OP all day till my friends decided we were going out to dinner mind you i'm broke and most um inexpensive things on a menu are a fatfest
Btw before i forget I call Foo Foo Coffee/tea drinks Fluffy
why b/c usually i get a latte with a shot of flavour and the milks all fluffy I get skim does anyone know pts for flavour shots?
OK first of all before
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I AM WATCHING GRAHAM NORTON!! AND ITS THE SHANNON DOHERTY EPISODE!!! I'M GOING TO SEE KIRSTY!!!!!!!!!! FOLEY HUCK!!!!!! BBIAB I'm going to watch THEN post!
OMG KIRSTY YOU ARE STUNNING!!!!!
you guys have to see the book she put together!!!!
oh the underwear ref is b/c graham sent a guy out on the street with a pair of edible pants over his trousers and paid some woman 20 quid to eat them off of him
back to reality
I'm sending everyone a big hug b/c it seems like this week was just extra hard allll around
we all survived tho
Deb I'm keeping a good thought for you tonight honey you're a strong woman just take care of you
Jayne! can i kick that womans hiney??? PLEASE?
I think you should do your own cookbook woman you are so innovative
Ali keep new boy at a distance for a month or so you are too precious to be rebound chick!
oooh I'm getting exercise equiptment on tuesday!! the upper arm bike also my knee is getting a bit dodgey so i think i'll be skipping the treadmill and doing that machine if i can get someone to bring it down here for me
if not i'll have to exercise on the weekends and then bring it back with me in january depending on how cumbersome it is
BUT!
and its a slightly smaller one b/c its mine
I'm going to take swimming lessons in the spring semester!!
be back tommorrow
xoxo
Kier
morning girls. oh my. chai tea lattes. YUM. those are pretty great arent they?? I'm totally exhausted...went to a ball game and got home sooo late, also ate a darn hot dog with caused me to be over points, but i will hopefully make up for it today....
wow Ali. you lost 100 lbs?? that is amazing. I need your story for inspiration.
ok girls.. i'm off to get some coffee....not quite awake yet.
The internet screen is down at work so thought I'd pop in for a minute.
Jess & Deb - it is so often hard to end a relationship even when you know it is for the best. I ended a 4 year, 2 moves across the country relationship a few years back. He'd been my best buddy for 6 yrs before we started dating. Leaving was HARD. But....my life now is a lot better than it was then.
Jayne - I don't remember going to a seminar this week but I'm pretty sure that you were sitting next to the ghost of my old self. Your insights (I'll explain why below) really hit home and I want you to know how much I value your wisdom.
Ali - ditto, ditto, ditto on the weightloss/attitude adjustment. About the boy. It was a first date which are always nerve wracking and maybe his first date in 5 1/2 years which would make it harder. I say you should plead a busy schedule and then make a date for 2 weeks from now. If you like the guy - do that 2 or 3 times - that way you don't relegate him to friend status but get a chance to actually see what he's like after the nervousness wears off. Or just be blunt...tell him that you think he's an incredibly interesting man but that you'd like to get to know him - not his ex - then steer the conversation to his life before the ex.
Kier - sweetie - please fed ex me some of your exuberance for life - I could sure use it.
Confessions time.....I'm having a little problem with depression the last month or so. Depression of the I don't want to get out of bed in the morning variety. I haven't worked out since Orlando and am back to eating fast food 3 times a day. Only Jayne's little story hit home - I used to be that woman and I don't want to be her again - so I need to get myself back on track here. I don't really have a reason to be depressed and since it's the season of thanks giving in the U.S., I'm going to work on a mood adjustment - here are 5 things I'm grateful for:
My Family
My Home
A Steady income
The amazing guy I'm dating
Only having to work 1 day this weekend
kier - i can't believe you just saw me on TV. that's kinda freaky!
hi to everyone else. excellent threads lately! i use chi-chi instead of foo foo. but perhaps i'll use foo foo now.
and now my head has started rhyming things, i must say that relationships ending is poo poo, and being a rebound chick is doggy doo.
apart from that - how are you?
i'll stop now. too much diet coke.
kirsty
ps laura - hope you're ok. i can't get out of bed at the moment either but that's cos it's cosy and warm in there and dark and wintry outside. plus i haven't been sleeping well lately so i'm extra tired.
pps wanna know a secret? BF is off in florida this weekend but gets back monday morning. i have a funny feeling i might not be at work on monday. i may be sick and have to stay at home with him all day. tummy bug perhaps...
i'm thankful for my family and friends. a few years ago i went through a really low patch (and guess what - put on lots of weight!) and my self-confidence was at an all time low. my family and friends were so great and supportive and made me realise that i am intelligent and good at what i do and no matter what some people might say or do to me i can rise above it.
Last night was a struggle night for me. I really wanted to eat & eat & eat! I didn't but let me tell you I was really *****y & grumpy all evening. Why does that happen? I'm really starting to think that I am a food addict & last night was withdrawal. I hope today is better. I am determined to make this work.
Kirsty, What is Graham Norton? How did you end up tv?
Jayne, Sounds like you had an interesting seminar. I feel sorry for that woman. Sounds like someone needs to help her see she is a valuable person.
Ali, How long has this boy been broke up from his last relationship? Are you his first date since then?
Kier, exercise equipment sounds exciting. Hope you enjoy it as you use it.
Laura, I hope you're feeling better. Depression sucks. Get help if you don't bounce back soon.
Jihan, hope you get a chance to get some rest today. Being exhausted makes the day so long.
A few of the things I'm thankful for:
-DH, family & friends
-my health
-my job
-living in a peaceful country
-music
-all you girls & your support here at 3fc
Kirsty - I hope that you are very, very, very "sick" on Monday!
Morning PJ and Jen!
I just have to obnoxiously brag a little....CB just brought me a diet coke at my desk! I thought it would be weird to date someone that works for my company but since we don't actually sit near each other or work on the same projects its not bad. Kinda fun actually to be able to meet for lunch.
I've got to plan an office x-mas party for a department of 60+. Do any of you have ideas of things to do other than bowling?
Laura... hubby and I work together.. and although it wears on me sometimes... we only bring one car to work, we get lunch together, and there is always someone I can sneak out with to let my venting out at!
Oh and I am supposed to plan our party too, but after Christmas so it's not so hectic. I was told to look into an indoor golf driving range that we have here. Also, do you have any game type places where you can get a private room, and then let people act like kids again... like a Dave and Busters or something. We don't, but we have an indoor go-kart place. Never been to it, but it is another possibility. Never thought of bowling. Good Luck. Last year we had a picnic at the end of summer and that was way easier to plan. Wish we would have done that this year!!!
First off, where is Deb? I want to know how last night went for her... Hopefully she'll say that it all went well (and maybe that will make tonight easier for me).
I've been discussing what I'm going to do with the girls here at work. They've been "with" Aaron and I for the last year and a half, so they've seen the ups and downs and know both of us pretty well. They know that Aaron can always back me down from a resolve--he's always been able to do that. So, the plan is to do something like this... I'll tell him that there are some things I need to tell him, please don't interrupt, and he can talk when I'm done. I'll then proceed to tell him how much I love him and will always love him, that we both need to do some growing up, that it's not because I've found someone else but that it's because we've hurt each other too much during the course of our relationship for it to ever get back to where we want it to be, maybe someday we'll both be more ready for this sort of relationship, and that I'm sorry but things aren't going to work out right now. Then, I'll let him respond and if I start to see my resolve crumbling, I'm just going to say "I'm sorry, but I have to go now." I'm going to jump in the car, turn off my cell phone, ignore it if he pages me (because I can't turn my pager off--it's for work), and shop my heart out. Do you guys think it's too mean for me to tell him I have to go if he starts making me think I don't want to do this? I just know him and it's ALWAYS happened that I'll have a plan and he'll manage to make me forget all about it. This is too important to let him back me down.
I'm sorry to spend so much time talking about this, but it's a huge stress factor for me right now and the more opinions I get, the more confident I feel.
Things I'm thankful for:
My family and friends (you guys included!)
A roof over my head
My Independence
Weight Watchers and my gym
Chocolate
Jayne, your post about that worman made me think about what a change WW, my gym, and my efforts have made in my life. There was a time when I was angry and bitter and thought that nothing good ever happened to me because I was heavy. It wasn't that, it was that I was heavy and too shy to cause good things to happen to me. Now that I've lost some weight, I know that there's virtually nothing I can't do and I'm not afraid to try. Even though I think she was a total *****, I also feel pity for her...
Ali, about the boy... I would try a few more dates and see if he's trying to get serious or if he's just trying the dating thing. If things progress in the direction of serious, then have a seat and a long talk about your feelings and his feelings. I wouldn't worry too much because you could go out a couple more times and find that you don't really like him all that much.
Kier--Exercise equipment? I am SO jealous! I would love to have my own, but I wonder if I'd ever use it... Hopefully you don't have any trouble! OK, Kier, I gotta ask--are originally from the US? You use words like "arse" and "dodgy" that I've noticed people of a more British persuasion use... ??
Dangit, I gotta get to a meeting! I'll be back later to respond to everyone else!!
Foo Foo Friday
And I just couldn't resist the thread name, with all of the foo foo discussion. Speaking of foo foo coffe, I am so addicted to chai lattes it's not even funny. I even order a mix off the internet because it's a really expensive habit for me. Each chai latte costs me 3 points, and I would estimate that I spend 9 points a day on my addiction. Scary! But as long as I crave it so badly, I work it in...if I didn't I would resist it all day but go nuts later in the day as a sort of rebellion.
