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Old 05-04-2002, 07:37 PM   #1  
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Default Feisty & Sexy 50 & 60 Year Old #178

G'day all,

It is Sunday morning and dh has left for Melbourne. I'll be visiting the garden show a bit later this morning

Ann What can I say to make you feel a bit better about your situation. I can relate to you a similar story. Some years ago, a woman joined my team, she was in her mid fifties. Part of being her manager was having a 'one on one' every week to see how she was going etc. One week she burst into tears and told me that her 20 year old son had announced that he was moving in with a 48 year old woman She was just distraught, angry, confused etc. etc. For some 6 months she had no contact with her son and certainly had no desire to meet the woman. The son and the woman than decided to move to the UK (the lady was english) and before leaving the son reconciled with his mother. She felt a bit better and also felt it easier to cope with her son being at the other end of the world. In time she then became determined that the 'girlfriend' was not going to break her relationship with her son. She even started to see what the attraction for her son was to be living with a 48 year old. She visited them both in the UK and 'almost' liked the woman when she finally met. Before we took up this travelling life style, I rang the lady who worked for me and she told me that the relationship had ended, the son is back home from the UK and has a girlfriend his own age.
I tend to agree with Slavika that things happen for a reason eventhough the reason is pretty obscure at the moment.
If this was me, I would let my daughter know what I thought (as diplomatically as I could) and stress whatever happens she is my daughter and I would stand by her.
I do think, with my experience with the woman who worked for me, her perception as to what people thought of her was grossly exaggerated, friends were very sympathetic and sensitive to her feelings. I am sure you will find the same as already is evident on this board.
Good luck Ann.

Slavika How spoilt are you! Congratulations on the purchase of your little red Toyota, sorry i cannot make it for teatime, remember I am a working girl now

I have to be off, I have bought the best toy - a WACO Grapire tablet - for those who are unfamiliar, it is a tool to use with photoshop. It is the size of a mouse pad with a 'pen'. The accuracy achieved using this as opposed to a mouse, is just incredible. I just love it .
Have a great Sunday all
Cheers
Maria
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Old 05-04-2002, 10:24 PM   #2  
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Talking Weigh-in

A good day went down 2.4. Now I just have to keep it going. This past week I went on a liquid fast for 1 and1/2 days, and I think maybe if I do this again now and then, I will trick my body and get my metabolism moving.

Thank you all so much for your words of wisdom. We have to go to my DD for her younger daughters H.S. graduation. I have had concern about how I will be under the circumstances. But you are right, she is my daughter, I love her, and I can't shun her. I just have to pray for her and for her older daughter. All I can think of is "Mrs Robinson" if you remember the movie. And in my wildest dreams, I just can't imagine this relationship to go on for very long. So there we are. I will be sure to let you know how things go. My other daughter is also devastated by what she feels is her sisters 'stupidity' Her word. She is the one with Lupus. So all in all this hasn't been a great family year. I am glad I can come here and vent to you all. Thank you so much for listening and sharing your thoughts with me.

Good night for now. Ann
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Old 05-05-2002, 02:26 PM   #3  
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Ann, now that we know it is your dd I can understand how you feel. 19 is young and I imagine that this won't last very long. I remember Mrs. Robinson. Just be there for her and I think that is all you can do. Slavika how do you rate having cars delivered to see if you like them? Pretty cool. Yours sounds like fun and what you did is like something I would do. Have fun cruising around. Have a nice rest of the Sunday.
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Old 05-05-2002, 05:25 PM   #4  
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Hi Everybody
Maria I'm sorry you can't make it to Tea Time next Tuesday, I was so looking forward to meeting you. I understand tho, that the "ONLY" reason you can't come is because you ARE a working gal. I didn't know what a Grapire Tablet was, but I "searched" it on the net and although I still don't know exactly what you can do with it, at least I know what it looks like. I see there are a couple of different kinds.

Yesterday we took the grandchildren to a new McDonald's that opened up not too far from us, and what a zoo that place is. The noise level in there was just ear shattering. The young people that work there are very busy, and they are kind of sweeping up the dropped fries in between the tables and cleaning up, while you're trying to eat. Not a great spot for a relaxing lunch. I think we will just stick with take out if they want McDonald's again.

Peggy yes, it was nice of the fellows at the Dealership to bring the cars out to me. LOL LOL. It's not because I am special or anything, it's just that DH is their banker and knows them pretty well. He does the wholesale financing for a lot of the auto dealers in our City.
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Old 05-05-2002, 06:50 PM   #5  
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G'day all,

Garden shows are no good to me, it makes me too homesick There were some great things on show but with no garden and not likely to be in my own for some time, it made me feel a bit miserable........but my graphire tablet is just the best fun.

Slavika as far as I can gather, graphic designers seem to be the people who use them (I am a pretend and self taught one ) When you 'design' pictures or fix photo's, it gives you a whole lot more control than a mouse.
I am pleased you are so understanding of my working situation and also realise that that is the ONLY thing that keeps me from attending your tea parties. You might just get a surprise one day, I am entitled to days off

Ann great effort with your weigh in!

DS's girlfriend has to attend a baby shower. Everyone attending have been asked to bring along an A4 size paper with baby related stuff on it, the person organising the shower will then put it together as a book. I had never heard of it but it sounds like a fun thing to do. Of course ds and girlfriend have little time and thought I might like to put something together. So today I'll be scouring the net for some quotes, poems, hints etc. etc.
HAve any of you ever been to a baby shower like this? Any input would be gratefully accepted

Cheers
Maria
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Old 05-05-2002, 07:11 PM   #6  
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Slavika: Lucky you with the new car! Sounds really nice. How do you rate having them delivered tho? Doesnt work that way here. Hope you got the car buffed. Sounds like something I would do. Actually I have done that at leaset twice to my car Oh now I know why they were delivered. Pretty cool!

Maria: I Have a Graphire Wacom Pen to! Love it! I have been playing some with graphics and I am getting a little better. This does make it easier to. The idea for the shower sounds fun. Never saw it done before, but it will be a great keepsake!

Ann: WTG on your loss! Keep us posted on your DD. I hope it all works out for the best. Im sure your other DD is pretty upset to. Feel free to vent anytime!

Peggy are you done with the last test you were doing?

Best get working on my dinner. Grilled Tuna tonight. Yummmm

Last edited by LilyG; 05-05-2002 at 07:19 PM.
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Old 05-05-2002, 07:26 PM   #7  
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Default Lilly set another place...

I am coming for dinner. Tuna sounds yummy. Maria I am not sure if this is what you are looking for but check this out.http://www.geocities.com/cpgro1/chb.html Here's anotherhttp://www.babysite.org/babysite/sidene/poems.htm I haven't heard of this kind of shower but I haven't been to a baby one in ages so what do I know.

Last edited by painter5; 05-05-2002 at 07:34 PM.
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Old 05-05-2002, 09:11 PM   #8  
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Back again........

Lily I am glad you have a WACOM graphire tablet, at least YOU can understand my excitement Let me know of any tips you come across and I will do the same. I am making myself use it as a mouse for everything, just to get used to it. It is just the best when using Photoshop.

Peggy Thank you for the sites you posted, there seem to be zillions ( a lot anyway ) around. One poem I came across was just so true and a bit cute and thought I must share........

I just realized that while children are dogs ... loyal and affectionate ... teenagers are cats.

It's so easy to be a dog owner. You feed it, train it, boss it around. It puts its head on your knee and gazes at you as if you were a Rembrandt painting. It bounds indoors with enthusiasm when you call it.
Then around age 13, your adoring little puppy turns into a big old cat. When you tell it to come inside, it looks amazed, as if wondering who died and made you emperor. Instead of dogging your doorstep, it disappears. You won't see it again until it gets hungry ... then it pauses on its sprint through the kitchen long enough to turn its nose up at whatever you're serving. When you reach out to ruffle its head, in that old affectionate gesture, it twists away from you then gives you a blank stare, as if trying to remember where it has seen you before.
You, not realizing that the dog is now a cat, think something must be desperately wrong with it. It seems so antisocial, so distant, sort of depressed. It won't go on family outings. Since you're the one who raised it, taught it to fetch and stay and sit on command, you assume that you did something wrong. Flooded with guilt and fear, you redouble your efforts to make your pet behave.

Only now you're dealing with a cat, so everything that worked before now produces the opposite of the desired result. Call it and it runs away. Tell it to sit and it jumps on the counter. The more you go toward it, wringing your hands, the more it moves away.

Instead of continuing to act like a dog owner, you can learn to behave like a cat owner. Put a dish of food near the door and let it come to you. But remember that a cat needs your help and your affection too. Sit still and it will come, seeking that warm, comforting lap it has not entirely forgotten. Be there to open the door for it.

One day your grown-up child will walk into the kitchen, give you a big kiss and say, "You've been on your feet all day. Let me get those dishes for you."
Then you'll realize your cat is a dog again


I would like to acknowledge the author but alas the author is unknown.

See ya
Maria
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Old 05-06-2002, 12:19 AM   #9  
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Maria: Dont know if I can give you any tips. I have been following along with alot of tutorials. And when it whats me to draw a line its much easier with the pen than the mouse. Im using Paint shop Pro and there are alot of tutorials out there for it. So thats how Im learning. The only Photoshop site I know of is

http://www.mccannas.com/

But Im sure there are alot more. Just never looked for them. But I could take you about 5 million for PSP
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Old 05-06-2002, 01:40 AM   #10  
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Hi Lily thank you for the site, I will have a bit of a browse later this afternoon.
http://www.graphicssoft.about.com/li.../bllps5out.htm is the site where i have been doing my tutorials. I have also signed up with the message board and posted a few queries and received a reply almost instantly. You will notice on the left side many applications and software programs they cover.
There is just a huge amount of information and the tutorials are reasonably easy to follow.

Cheers
Maria
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Old 05-06-2002, 12:04 PM   #11  
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Miss a few days and miss a very good conversation. Ann, I think the girls all gave you some good advice. I had a slightly different perspective on this situation until I heard it was your daughter and the young man is 19. I really don't believe that the odds are in their favor with his age, but who knows? My 2cents is that words can be so damaging. Just let her know you love her, but bite your tongue rather than say anything that will alienate her. And you know your granddaughter is embarrassed. I would think that this situation will pass in time, but you will always be her mother.

Slavika, your car story is a headshaker. And you told on yourself! I usually do that too. We bought a new car last week and we are so protective of it, so I can imagine what a garage door bump would do to your nerves. My dh has a little trick to make sure we are in the garage far enough, but not too far. He has put down 2 x 4's right where the car should stop. So when you feel the wheels hit that, you know you are safe. He is so anal about his cars.

Spring has sprung! Have a good day!
Glenda
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Old 05-06-2002, 03:43 PM   #12  
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Thumbs down I feel better

Hi all; Once again thank you all for the words of wisdom. To report- last night my DD and I had a long phone conversation. She knows how I feel, but she also knows that she is my daughter and I love her. I told her that I disagree with her choices, but respect her right to make them. She has made a sort of truce with her daughter now and I expect that things will get better there. A mother is still a mother, and needed now and then, no matter what.

I think that the old adage about time and healing applies here, and the whole situation is now in Gods hands. I could never isolate mysself from my kids, no matter what. It is just hard to watch someone you love doing something that you feel , down the road, can cause them pain.

Lily-Maria- I hope that someday I will know enough about computerese, to understand what you are talking about. Sounds like it is an advancement for you both, and one that is fun to use.

Slavika: I'm glad that your DH wasn't too upset. It always seems that with a new car, everyone gets uptight, until the first person puts the scratch or dent in it. Then everyone relaxes. I must admit I'm always glad when it is my DH who has the first ding, instead of me.:

Hi Glenda, Trudy,Peggy and anyone else I might have forgotten.
Thanks again to you all for your thoughts. They were very helpful.
I'll keep giving you progress reports. Ann
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Old 05-06-2002, 06:09 PM   #13  
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Default Oh I got lost...

trying to find Lily's house for the grilled tuna. Was it good? Now to hurry to Slavika's for tea time tomorrow. I bet she is making something good. It is raining here for most of the week. Blah Ann it sounds like you had a nice talk with your dd. Hopefully things will work out and he will be gone by graduation. Maria and Lily I am like Ann in that I don't know what you all are talking about. I just figured out how to do a link. Glenda how lucky you are to get a new car. Maybe you could pick me up and we could drive up to tea time. You girls could compare cars. I drove a little too far in the garage last week and hit the scarecrow bench I made and now he has a broken leg. The poor thing. As you can tell I am bored but I think it has stopped raining for a few minutes so I am going to try getting a walk in.
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Old 05-06-2002, 06:59 PM   #14  
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G'day all,

Yet another beautiful sunny day here in Sydney, 25 degrees.

Ann Pleased you had a long chat with your dd, you must feel better for having done that and at least you can now 'agree to disagree' with her choices but she also knows you are always there for her.
I can also relate to new cars, my dh is also very protective of our cars, always spotlessly clean and he knows every ding that is in them We have sold my little car and have our 4x4 wheel drive with us in Sydney. When we eventually get back he wants to buy ME a BMW Z3, I couldn't care less what I drive as long as it goes and is reliable. He has had this dream of one day owning a little sports car so now he has an excuse and supposedly buying it for me. I bet I'll be driving around in the Landrover and he will be swanning around in his little Z3.
The way our investments are going, we might be lucky to afford a scooter when we finally come home for good
By the way Glenda we have a similar system in our garage to make sure we are in far enough, aahhh everyone is the same the world over

Peggy and Ann it really isn't that much of a mystery, it sounds a bit more complicated in writing, if I had the chance to show you in person, you would be saying 'oh is that all they are talking about'........

I actually have to do some work, I have to do some research in companies that are attending 'Bio 2002 International Biotechnology Convention and Exhibition' on June 9 in Toronto, Canada.
I must be off and check in a bit later.
Cheers
Maria

Last edited by flaggies; 05-06-2002 at 07:01 PM.
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Old 05-06-2002, 07:36 PM   #15  
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Hi Everybody DH is out of town until Thursday, and he is driving, so my new little car has the WHOLE garage. GOOD!
Glenda what a simple yet great idea your DH came up with. I know we have some 2 by 4 in the garage and I will do that too. Now that the marks have been buffed out of my car I sure don't want to put anymore marks on it. Today, when I pulled into the garage I actually got out of the car to check that I was far enough in, to avoid the door coming down on the car again. Love that idea, thanks for posting it. Maria I really enjoyed that poem you posted. As much as I can remember about my son's teen years, I would say the poem was dead on. I probably told you gals this, but my son graduated from University with a Computer Science degree and then got his MBA. He is now the director of a company that designs special software for large financial institutions. I think if he read what I just typed he would say that's not EXACTLY what the company does, but that's the best I can do., LOL I know that they design some kind of financial planning tools for online and desktop use, but I don't "really" know for sure what it is. Needless to say, he is busy, travels back and forth to New York, it seems every other week, is married to a lovely gal, and has two busy children, so I don't get much time with him. Yesterday he called and said he would arrange to spend an 1 or 2 with me when we are both free and he will teach me some things about the computer that I really don't know. Tonight, my DIL is working on a paper for her class, so after the children are in bed, I am having my first lesson, on graphics and doing things with some of these programs I have, other then just printing off a greeting card. I am really looking forward to this lesson. Maybe I might even get to understand what Lily and Maria are talking about. Well at least a little bit.
Ann I am happy you are feeling a little bit better about things now....you wait, it will all turn out just fine. If you would like why don't you drive up to my place tomorrow for tea with Peggy, Lily, and I think Glenda's driving Poor Maria can't make it, because she says she is a working gal. LOL LOL I forgot so are Lily and Glenda .
Must run, talk to you all later.

Last edited by slavika; 05-06-2002 at 07:39 PM.
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