My husband and his married friend told them, that the "hotness" fades-and that what they should be looking for is someone who takes care of them, someone who is their "friend", someone who will cook, has common interests, someone who is interesting, would take good care of their children, and so on and so forth-naming a million attributes of a good woman that have nothing at all to do with looks. The "single/divorced" men at the table couldn't believe their stance on the whole thing.
Exactly!!!!
Last night my boyfriend and I went and got some groceries and he had bought some cookie dough amoung other things. And he opened it up and started eating it as it was. He offered me some and I laughed and said, "Don't eat too much or you are going to get sick!" And he goes, "this is how I would eat all day if you weren't around." I said, "I'm not stopping you but you are going to make yourself fat!" And he goes, "I want to lose a bit of weight but this the stuff you could never do when we lived with our parents! I need to get this out of my system first!" That made me laugh because it is so true. When you were a kid all the stuff you wantd to eat but they wouldn't let you! haha
So then I said to him "I would like to get down to 130 but if I start looking to skinny you will tell me right?" and he just kinda looked at me and immediatly said "YAHH!" and I was like "Okay, just making sure cuz I didn't think you liked really skinny girls." (he has told me that before) and he goes "No, they are..." and I cut him off "Oh, so you don't want to date a girl with the body of a little boy?" and then we just kinda laughed and he was like "No." And then he went back to eating cookie dough, haha.
So I felt better about the whole thing - deep down I always know that he doesnt really like super skinny girls. But I guess I just needed the reassurance. I am losing the weight for me it has nothing to do with him because I know he loves me how I am but at the same time I don't want to get so skinny that I turn him off. I think I will always see myself fatter then I am. So I just hope he tells me if I do start to get too thin for his likeing.
Anyway not sure the point of this post... guess I just wanted to share
A lady that I know came up to me the other day and told me that she was at her waitressing job, when my husband and his boss came (she didn't know that he was my husband until she asked someone). My husband's boss said to him (in front of her) "Isn't she a beautiful woman?" My husband said "Yes, but you should see my wife." How sweet was that? There are men out there that will love you and make you feel beautiful. I agree with Aphil - there's nothing more beautiful then a woman who has accomplished LIFE. Be happy with your cute little strappy shirt and skirt - be happy with who you are (a fool is always the last to take her own advice - but I do believe it)!
Wow, this is totally a rough situation.. I definitely understand it. We all do. So you are NOT alone.
I don't agree that men shouldn't be expected to notice if you cut your hair, are wearing a new skirt, or if you've taken the time to look good for them. I EXPECT this, and constantly recieve appreciation and comments when I do something special, I also do the same for him. Don't accept anything less, thats how so many men get away with it. I know I'm not alone in what I'm experiencing, heck, my boyfriend's co-workers (both men) have noticed my weight loss and commented to my bf on it saying how good I look.
You are a great person, very supportive when I've needed it, and you truely deserve the best! My newest phrase? Self fulfilling prophesy, so if you don't think he'll treat you the best.. he won't.
Jill - My man doesn't have a staring prolem (or I have never seen it) but it still worries me. We have talked about going to visit his dad this summer and his dad's girlfriend has 3 daugters a bit younger then me and they are little skinny things AND I think at least one of them has a crush on my boyfriend.
With your gorgeous face and hair, you're scared?? You shouldn't be!
"Oh, so you don't want to date a girl with the body of a little boy?"
This just makes me feel so unattractive I don't even like my figure... I just wasn't born to be curvy as much as I want to be. The truth is, even if everyone thinks that Guys dig skinny chicks, its just wrong- I've been told many times that I had the boy of a little boy... I guess thats why I'm still single...
that's okay. I hate 95% of the men out there anyway! lol
PeeB, I wanted to say in my earlier post to find a new man, but I didn't want to tell you what to do. I'm so happy that you figured out that one by yourself. I always tell my daughter that her worth is not in man. It's in who you are. The love and kindness you give to others is what matters most. There are men out there that will treat you good. After I got off the merry-go-round with the abusive jerk, the Lord blessed me with a wonderful man, that treats me like a queen. No matter how gross and ugly I feel, he always tells me how beautiful I am. He also prefers to be happy instead of right. What I mean by that one is that our pastor always tell the men in our church, "Men, in your marriage, you can be right. Or you can be happy. I choose to be happy." Now, that's wisdom.
aphil, sounds like you have been blessed to with your hubby, too. I remember someone telling me that in a relationship, the first ten years are more physical, and the next ten years are more companion. Funny thing is, I don't quite agree with the companion part after sixteen years. There's still the physical as well as the companion.
Anyway, sorry to ramble on. I'll pray that everything works out for you.
that's okay. I hate 95% of the men out there anyway! 
lol
