Once they hear that it takes effort, most people lose interest pretty quick I find!
Yep. I had someone who always talks about her diet, but never seems to lose any weight corner me a while ago to ask what my strategy is. I don't normally like to talk about my weight loss outside of this forum, but she has some habits that had contributed to my own weight gain so I answered her honestly- I stopped eating out all of the time and cut back on the junk food and soda. That's pretty much it.
I got a disappointed look. But I did that to someone once too before I was ready to confront my weight gain. A cousin of mine lost a bunch of weight and I eagerly asked her what her secret was. She laughed it off and said it took a lot of work. I remember my own disappointed look. I honestly don't know what sort of answer I was expecting.
I haven't told one single person, not even my husband. Frankly, I'm embarrassed by the number of times I've announced my "life changing decision," only to fall flat on my face publicly again and again and again.
I find it humiliating to be almost 60 pounds overweight. I want and need support, but right now this life change is a private love affair I'm doing for my eyes only.
For that reason, I thank everyone here for showing up and contributing to these boards. I need that support, and I hope to provide it for you, too.
My one (male, overweight) friend says, "Only thin people talk about trying to lose weight."
I'm not sure what he meant.
I think I understand. The thinnest people I know (lots of co-workers) make a big production of eating anything even remotely fattening - especially around those of us who are clearly overweight. It's a sneaky way of calling attention to how thin they are. "Oh, I'm going to pay for this potato chip!" she'll exclaim, wearing her size 3 jeans. "I can't believe I ate that whole bowl of soup. I'll have to skip dinner - I'm such a pig!"
What's been fun so far is people at the gym who I didn't know from Adam have approached me to say things like they've noticed the changes and congratulating me on the results so far. It's one thing for a family member or friend who knows you're trying to lose weight to give you a compliment because you don't know if they're just trying to be nice or encouraging when they don't really see a change. But for a virtual stranger to take the time to comment on it, I kind of believe it more if that makes any kind of sense.
I agree with this. I initially didn't tell anyone, starting in January at 294 pounds. Then, I joined a weight loss challenge at work, so EVERYONE in the office participated in weigh loss efforts. When that ended in April, I have kept going. I don't like to discuss it because it is a personal thing for me. But now that it is really noticeable, people are talking to me more and more. I kind of liked the anonymity I had before at the gym, but now there are more people I am getting to know (because I'm there every morning) and have commented on how good I am doing. It's a good thing, but I feel awkward in my responses.
My one (male, overweight) friend says, "Only thin people talk about trying to lose weight."
I'm not sure what he meant.
I think that makes sense. When people announce they're gonna make an improvement on something, they tend to have a pretty good base to start with. A person who says "I'm gonna save more money" is probably not the one with a mountain of debt. A person who says "I'm gonna get a better job" is probably not the one who was fired a couple days prior.
When your problems are much worse than the norm (or seems like it), you'll tend not to announce them to the public.
I haven't publicly announced I'm trying to lose weight to anyone, but most know it. My husband sees I'm 'back on the wagon' as I'm sure my mother in law notices too (as she lives with us).
I started up with my blog again, so if they are friends with me on FB and pay attention to my posts, they will see it's active again. But, in real life, I don't talk about it unless someone asks me about it.
Last time I went down this road I asked my husband at about 10-15 pounds lost if he noticed the difference. He hadn't yet (255 down to 240). I haven't asked him yet, but I think the 16 pounds I've lost now are very obviously (241 to 226) due to the paper towel effect. Though, I haven't dropped a pant size yet, but that is because I was SQUEEZING myself into the last pair of fat pants I bought this winter and for the rest of the time I had to buy new clothes, so I bought stretchy ones that will last a bit longer as I shrink back down.
I'm sure in the next few weeks more people will start noticing and saying something about it where I work, but who knows. They may have a mental image of the thinner me still in their head and not really notice.
I am not talking about it or avoiding the subject. My husband is well aware of it since the recipes are low calorie and he enjoys them. As far as social event if someone ask why I am not drinking wine and that seems to be what they notice the most, I just say not in the mood. I dont feel the urge to discuss my way of eating with my friends. They are noticing I am loosing weight but it stops there.
My attitude toward my own weight loss at 225lbs and now at 160lbs is LIGHT YEARS different.
Then, I was deathly afraid anyone would notice my weight loss. It was mortifying and embarrassing. Because, to me, losing weight meant I was publicly admitting that I was overweight, unattractive and generally BAD. My self esteem was so low then and losing weight tied in very closely with my very vulnerable and delicate self worth. And I was afraid that I would never be successful and was afraid of what life would be like thinner. To be honest, I am very glad that most of all of that is behind me. I struggled a lot with my concept of self as my body changed and people reacted to it. It felt like I was being personally judged 24/7 and for an insecure introvert, this was a special kind of ****. It took a lot of courage for me to continue to lose through it all.
Now, I want to lose vanity pounds. This weight isn't tied to my self esteem. I think I look fine now. No, I'm not smokin' hot, but I'm good enough. To me, now, it's simply getting smaller. Losing this bulge or that one. And because of that, I can discuss it pretty openly with people. And I do. I have friends at work and through my social life that are encouraging and positive - and want to lose weight also. And for me, it feels good to have that support.
Somewhere above someone said - "only skinny people talk about losing weight." I am not one of those people that have been thin their whole life. Quite the contrary - so I can only speak for myself. But I talk about it now because it's like talking about the weather or a new activity I want to try. It's easy. When I see people that are very overweight like I used to be it's awkward for me to discuss weight loss around them because I remember how I felt. So, I keep it to myself. (For the record, I don't consider myself skinny or thin - I'm a curvy size 12.)
I hadn't declared it or mentioned it to anyone. Hubby figured it out after a few days, I was eating differently and declining treats that we would normally share together. No-one else has figured it out yet but weekends are going to be difficult. We normally see in laws, mother in law is a serial dieter and very attentive so will figure it out pretty quickly. I'm trying to come up with a plan for when it 'comes up'. Honestly, I'm going to tell them the truth. 'I have a family history of diabetes so am shedding a bit of weight to lower my risk.'
I never tell anyone except DW. I still go to lunch with the folks I've always gone to lunch with, I just order different things, smaller portions, etc. It's usually easy to tell when I've lost weight because it shows on my face, literally. My face seems to show the weight loss first. But since I'm tall I "carry" my weight fairly well so it actually takes much longer before I can start seeing the difference. Once I'm 20-30 pounds down then other people start to notice and usually comment on it. Then I'll own up to it.
The only person who knows I'm actively trying to lose weight is my husband, because he lives with me and has to suffer through the whining and complaining :P
My boyfriend and my mom know. Other than that, there's 2 people at work who could probably figure it out because I've made comments about not drinking soda anymore, and how my mom got a bunch of ice cream, but forget to get a thing of frozen yogurt for me.
I pretty much tell any one who is eating with me. I want their support. I need their support. I also like accountability. I try not to talk about it a lot but I mention Im making a lifestyle change for the healthy.
