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Old 03-14-2012, 04:05 PM   #31  
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You can't force people to live life the way you do, no matter who they are. It simply doesn't work that way. However, I totally understand where OP is coming from. I struggle with my own efforts with my weight loss journey -- I find myself giving into temptations quite a bit more than I should, although most of the time I do stay within my calorie limits. When I get home from school on the weekends, my parents (who are not dieting) usually have plans for big, unhealthy meals and I have to deal with it. They think it's okay to "reward" yourself on the weekends, and it's not. I don't want to "be good" Monday - Thursday just to sabotage myself on the weekends, it's really hard.

But you have to be your own boss and say no, which is something I struggle with. Just because Dad is having ice cream doesn't mean you have to have it, and if he gets offended, then you just have to say, "People don't lose weight by eating ice cream all the time -- I'll have to pass this time." Fathers are particularly frustrating when it comes to this because they think that what you're doing isn't necessary, but it is. And you have to remind yourself that.

Everything about this is hard, and you can't be perfect all the time. The people in your life can't be perfect all the time. You just have to find ways to make it work for you.
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Old 03-14-2012, 04:39 PM   #32  
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If I told everyone in my house that they had to eat only healthy food and all junk had to be thrown out, I'd be living at the homeless shelter. I live with my husband, older brother, and both my parents (All of us our University students except my parents and they needed help since my dad got sick so we all moved in).

Anyways, you can't expect people to change the way you eat. My husband eats crap in front of me all the time. Yes, it sucks so bad some days, but this is my journey, not his. That would be like him saying he doesn't believe in apple products so I should have to give up my much-loved Iphone just because he says so. Not going to happen.

My entire family supports my weight loss goals. They congratulate me as I get skinnier, and tell me how proud they are of me. That doesn't change the amount of ice cream they buy or the pizza they ordered last night. I wouldn't ask them to come running with me every night and if they don't, I will excuse them of not being supportive.

There is a difference of being supportive (aka, good job, you can do it, Im so proud!).... and then expecting people to hold your hand and keep you accountable for your own actions. Even if the OP is 17, she is less then a year away from being an adult. If she was 12, I could understand the parents needing to keep the food out of the house. But she's not. She could be a college student in less then a year! By that age, you can't expect your parents to change everything about themselves to help you.

I don't think it makes them "bad parents" because they buy the food they want. They have an almost-adult daughter in the house. Even when I was a pre-teen, my dad had cheesies EVERYWHERE and I could have eaten them, but I chose not to. My parents provided me with clothing, love, an allowance, food, shelter, support and had my back in everything I did (and they still do).. but they are also individuals who get to make their own choices. Just like we have to make our own.

What I would suggest, is having your own little cupboard if possible. Keep all your food in there so you do not have to look in the pantry/cupboard with all the crappy food. That is what I do. The only time I ever have to go into the main pantry with all the junk is when I want a bowl of cereal for breakfast. But, that is usually right after I wake up and my stomach would not want chips anyways.

OP, this isn't all directed at you other. It is in response to some of the questionable answers that have been given (at least in my eyes!). You can do it! Just keep on thinking about that dream of being a personal trainer (at least I think that's what I read in a previous post!!)

Last edited by Candeka; 03-14-2012 at 04:44 PM.
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Old 03-14-2012, 07:29 PM   #33  
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Originally Posted by threenorns View Post
imo, that's not how it's supposed to work.

a "family" is supposed to support and encourage each other - it's not a collection of individuals each living their own separate lives under the same roof.

he's not going to DIE if he has to step out of the house for his ice cream fix for the next little while but keeping it in the house could make or break weight loss success for some ppl.

my daughter's father and i came to an understanding - i'm okay if they want pizza, just give me a heads-up so i'm not busting my hump on the computer and then my stomach starts growling because i suddenly realized the house smells of pizza. he also needed to be reminded that our daughter has had serious weight issues in the past and such behaviour is not only hurting me, it's hurting her and could have lifelong impact, particularly since T2 diabetes runs down both sides of his family (both his parents died of complications).

so yes - he needs to change the way he eats, at least for the next little while until i can start reintroducing more normal levels into my diet.


put it this way: if you were trying to quit smoking, would you appreciate it if your husband kept smoking in front of you?

But when does personal responsibility kick in? Even if her dad stopped bringing the food in the house, what happens at parties? work? picnics? There will always be unwanted, tempting food around in this world. People need to know that no one is forcing them to pick it up and eat it. JMO.
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Old 03-14-2012, 07:56 PM   #34  
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I tell myself on a daily basis, "the only person that can make me fail is myself". Here recently when I started my weight loss I didn't tell my boyfriend, I just changed my habits. I didn't tell him because I knew he would just say, "whatever" or "good luck with that one" because he has before. So I finally told him and he was so supportive...for about 5 mins. This weekend he still wanted to bring the stuff in he normally ate (and I did too) but I showed him I was strong enough. I know it's hard when someone doesn't fully support you but use this to your advanage! Prove him that you don't need his support, you got this! And all of us!
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