I had to learn to work smarter not harder. In many ways, my experience is the polar opposite of OP. I had to learn to put less effort into weight loss. I needed to find ways to incorporate changes into my life - rather than overhauling my life and making weight loss such miserable, excrutiating effort that the results never seemed worth the effort and sacrifices I was making.
I'd make weight loss so unpleasant, that I'd eventually get sick of the misery and deprivation.
"This time," I decided to only make changes I was willing to stick with indefinitely, even if it resulted in absolutely no weight loss.
Ironically, taking weight loss "off the table" also took frustration off the table. Since weight loss wasn't my goal, not losing was never reason to give up. For the first two years, I didn't lose (or rather I lost and gained the same 10 lbs over and over), but I DID maintain a 20 lb loss that had been a result of sleep apnea treatment.
I had never in my life "effortlessly" maintained a weight loss, so seeing that it was possible, gave me hope that I could lose more, but coming up with a way to do it, that didn't repeat my mistakes of the past has been the greatest challenge.
I was quite concerned about putting weight loss back on the table. And for a long time I didn't. I let weight loss be a reward rather than a goal, and to some degree I still see it that way. Weight loss is a goal again, but it's a minor one.
My first and foremost priority is eating and increasing my activity as healthfully as I can - for the very sake of health itself. The reward is feeling better, sleeping better, andimprovements in strength, flexibility, and endurance are my rewards.
My second priority is maintaining the weight loss I have acheived (ever since the first "accidental" 20 lbs. I weigh myself twice a day, or more and it doesn't often discourage me, because I always get to celebrate weight loss. Not that I inevitably see a loss - that's not true at all, but I get to celebrate some degree of maintenance. I can usually celebrate "not gaining," and I always get to celebrate maintenance of some degree. Right now, I'm up six pounds, so I get to celebrate "maintaining a loss of 99 lbs." Since I know this is PMS/TOM water-retention, I know that in a few days I will be celebrating "maintaining 105 lb loss," and that very soon I'll be able to celebrate "maintaining 106 lb loss."
3. My third priority (which you may or may not have guessed from #2) is to lose "just one more pound." I work very hard not to concern myself with my goal weight. When I do, I tend to become overwhelmed by how much weight I still have to lose, and the ultimate target is so far away, that it's hard not to think of it as impossible (remember when you were a kid and you couldn't even imagine what being one year older was going to feel like?) This is why my ticker lists 275 lbs as my goal. Not because I plan on staying there, but because it's a weight I can (well at least sort of) imagine myself reaching.
4. Not so much a priority as an underlying philosopy is my vow to build, accept, and rely on support from others. I don't have to do this alone, and I'm now determined to "know better" when I'm tempted into thinking I can (or should) do this on my own.
I use 3FC and my weekly in-person TOPS (taking off pounds sensibly) for that support. I have no intention of ever giving up either. When I try to do this on my own, I usually fail (because it makes procrastination so much esier).
Progress is much slower "this way," but it's also much less effort (and much more fun). I look at these changes as ways to pamper my wonderful self rather than wasy to punish the bad me - and this makes all the difference in the world, because it's made all these changes fun additions to my life rather than miserable deprivations.
From the time I was about 14/15 years old, I've always felt unhappy with my body and wanted to lose weight (even though at 14/15 years old I did NOT need to lose weight- at that time I weighed 120-125 lbs). Especially after I started gaining weight, I always told myself that it was time to make a change, but I never did. I would try to diet for a week or two and then get right back into my bad habits.
I feel much more committed to losing weight and getting healthier this time, and I think it's because I'm doing it for a reason that means so much to me- to try to get pregnant. I have PCOS and don't ovulate on my own and have struggled doing various treatments and such since September 2010, and I'm still not pregnant yet, and I feel like losing weight would make a difference. Maybe it won't help me get pregnant naturally, but maybe it will help my body respond to treatments better. It kind of helps me feel like I am in control of my PCOS and infertility instead of my PCOS and infertility being in control of ME.
Of course, every time I start dieting I think it will be the last, but I think the main difference this time is that instead of starting off "perfectly" with a perfect clean diet, I started off with small changes and I'm gradually adding more good changes. In fact this is the first weekend since starting my diet a month ago that I haven't binged. I'm not proud that I binged in the beginning, but I think it's a good sign that my dieting behavior is improving, not getting worse as I go on. I think that will be key.
I've lost 30+ lbs 3x before - but this time truly is different. First off, I hit the big 4-0 and my thinking about life and how I wanted to live the 2nd half of my life changed. To be honest, I reached a breaking point - I was either going to resign myself to being miserable, depressed and lonely (likely ending in suicide) or I was going to stop making excuses and live the life I wanted.
I will never be Adriana Lima, I have medical issues that cannot be overcome without massive surgery (double knee replacement) and I have other issues that won't go away (lingering pain from back surgery, degenerating discs, early onset arthritis) - and ya know what? It doesn't matter - it's still my choice whether I want to live as a victim or overcome it and be who I want to be.
I chose to be who I wanted to be, and I've not wavered. I've had set-backs and it isn't easy, but I had to stop wallowing.
The 2nd big reason this time is different is that my DH is living a healthful lifestyle, too. In the past, I've done it on my own - he was never very overweight, but he was lazy and it was so difficult for me to be active and stay on program when he was doing nothing and eating pizza. He started running marathons & half marathons and he is committed to staying healthy - that makes it so much easier for me. His support is more than lip-service this time, he's living the life, too!
This time is different for me because I finally realize that I actually need very little food (compared to what I used to eat!) to get the nutrition I need. I feel SO MUCH better when I'm not stuffed to the gills!! Also because I'm losing really s-l-o-w this time, and I've come to realize this is a "forever" thing. Not a "until I lose "x" amount of weight" thing.
Last edited by Beach Patrol; 03-06-2012 at 12:01 PM.
Hooray! I feel the same way. I really notice it when I make a mistake and don't feel like it's all over and I'll never recover. I know this is a long term change, and I'm so proud of that commitment.
Also, this is my first post, and that feels good too!
Wow, yeah, after years of dieting, this time was different. The day before I started this, I was so sick of being fat, I called my husband at work and just said 'I'm done being fat, this is the last day!' From then on, 9 weeks ago, I've never been so determined and committed. I just wasn't serious when I dieted before and I finally realized that it's about the infamous 'lifestyle change'. That's the only reason I have been successful I love your post, very interesting hearing everyone's perspective..
The best way I can describe it is that this time it clicked for me. Everyone has a breaking point. I have wanted to lose weight really bad before but never like this. I found myself requesting tables at restaurants because I couldnt fit into the booths without my stomach touching the tables.
A friend on Facebook posted this picture with these words: "You are entirely up to you. Make your body. Make your life. Make yourself." That picture with those words hit me right where I needed it to. I am holding myself accountable this time. I posted that I was dieting on Facebook so that others would know if I failed. I never told anyone that I was dieting before so that I wouldnt have to tell them when I failed.
I love your post, very interesting hearing everyone's perspective..
