It's funny how we can convince ourselves we're not as big...
As we really are, that the fat doesn't look bad on us, that it isn't excessive, that we can accept the weight. Being tall, I always tell myself I "carry weight well," and I do to an extent. But being 5'10" and 273 (I'm now 266), that IS too much weight for me, no matter if I am tall and carry weight well or not.
I sometimes can't really see how big I am when I'm at home, but then I go out shopping and catch my reflection in a mirror and know see someone I don't want to be. Someone fat, someone not confident, someone not healthy.
Anyway else experience denial like this before they started to lose?
Oh yeah! I think I'm actually worse, while I'm losing. I'm feeling good about the changes I've made and the little bit of weight I've lost, and then I catch a "real" glimpse of myself and realize how far I still need to go.
Same thing happened to me today as I caught a glimpse of myself while walking through Wal-Mart. I have lost 7 pounds, proud of it, and feeling (but not seeing yet) the changes in my body. But what I saw in the mirror lets me know I've got a long way to go. It didn't discourage me or make me want to binge though. It just lit the fire in me to lose this weight even stronger.
And this time when I lose it, it's got to be the last time. I can't go through this again. I feel like I'll be able to keep it off, but I can't go through losing 100 pounds again. I just can't.
Yes! I am a taller girl, too, and I always thought I carried my weight really, really well. Now that I look back at pictures...not so much.
When I was 274 I remember seeing pictures of myself and thinking, 'wow, what a horrible camera angle!' Seriously. I was in major denial. I think it happens to all of us. Being overweight can be really traumatic and I think our minds only let us deal with however much we really need to deal with at that moment.
Catching a real glimpse of myself is what got me started for real this time. I'm down 18lb with a lot more to go but I mean, when I see myself in the mirror now, I start seeing progress, less stomach, more definition in my waist, its so worth it though.
That real image is and should be our #1 motivation, the lies we tell ourselves in making ourselves believe "we're not that bad" are the reason we go to this point.
7lb is a great accomplishment, you should be proud of every single pound you lose ! keep it up!! xo
uh... totally. I never felt as fat as I was. And I realize now that I was unconsciously avoiding the camera for the last 2 years when my weight got super high. I've lost enough now that people occasionally refer to me as skinny... "Look at how skinny you are." I always say thanks, but in my mind I think jeez, how fat were you that 220lb looks "skinny" now? It's all in the brain!
As we really are, that the fat doesn't look bad on us, that it isn't excessive, that we can accept the weight. Being tall, I always tell myself I "carry weight well," and I do to an extent. But being 5'10" and 273 (I'm now 266), that IS too much weight for me, no matter if I am tall and carry weight well or not.
I sometimes can't really see how big I am when I'm at home, but then I go out shopping and catch my reflection in a mirror and know see someone I don't want to be. Someone fat, someone not confident, someone not healthy.
Anyway else experience denial like this before they started to lose?
yes definetly! at home i sayeh i still look good, or i can pull fat off ahahah. but when i go out and see other people who are healthier and skinnier i feel horrible. but were on our way!
yep absolutely. Even though I am NOT tall, I always told myself I carried my weight in my boobs and butt and that was ok because I like to be curvier. Uhm, yes I do carry *some* weight there but a lot of it was also in my face, arms, legs and tummy. You can't be that overweight and just a little curvy
I honestly have to go by the scale, because left to my own devices and a mirror I will always think I look *great* hah!
Looking at myself in the mirror I sometimes seem much more normal than when I look at myself in photographs. I think it's being able to see myself in comparison to my slim, sexy friends.
I think I knew I was bigger than I wanted to be at 160-165, but I never felt like I looked big. I really didn't. But now at 133ish I look back at those pictures and I feel like I looked huge. I know I didn't at the time, but comparing it to what I worked to look like now is a HUGE difference and lets me see the weight I Really was carrying. I literally see myself differently in those pictures now. I never thought I was chubby then, but now I look back and feel like I was. It's strange!
I completely understand where you are coming from... I didn't really think my weight was a huge issue until I hit 118 kilos (260 lbs) at 5'10, and even then it didn't stop. My heighest weight was 135 kilo's, which is around 298 lbs.
Crying in the doctors office really isn't really the most becoming thing... and it was a major wake up call. I was embarassed for my doctor to have to see me almost completely naked. What the **** was I going to do about my eventual partner?
Since then I have lost 10 kilo's (22 lbs) and I am at 125 (around 275 lbs). Upon joining TFC this week I was told to accept it as an accomplishment! But looking in the mirror... or being around my completely thin sisters all the time, only makes me more self concious.
I think matters that make it worse are those outside us, those who try to make us feel better about our weight telling us we 'carry it differently' or 'carry it well' that gets it pounded in our minds that yeah... it's an alright thing to be tall and (almost) twice the weight of what you really should be.
OMG - I felt as if you were describing me. I do this to myself all the time "You're 270, but you dont look like you're 270 in these jeans." I feel better for the moment - but afterwards I feel like I told myself a bold face lie. I'm trying to get over that and see my progress and think "I'm getting there." It's that self image thing that always seems to get in my way.
I feel like it's a vicious cycle. As women, when we realize we have gained weight, we avoid mirrors and pictures. Then, without mirrors and pictures, we are able to ignore the weight gain and just keep gaining. Now that I have lost most of my weight, I have decided not to avoid cameras or mirrors. I look at myself, A LOT. Not out of vanity but because I no longer want to avoid what I need to see. I look at everything, even the stuff that is difficult to look at, like hanging and loose skin. Hiding and ignoring are horrible strategies.
My family was always telling me "you're not overweight, you look great." Of course, my family is all men, 3 sons and a husband, and really, I think they just love me and didn't want me to feel bad. That's nice, but not good for weight loss. Finally I had to just see myself for the size and weight I really was and do something about it for me.
Oh man, everything you guys are saying is exactly me. I totally avoid cameras and claim that I am unphotogenic, but it's totally because no one looks good overweight with a double chin. I'm so glad I've gotten it through my head that I don't look as great as I thought I did.
It's funny how we can convince ourselves we're not as big...
keep it up!! xo
but were on our way!
