AND, I must admit......I LOVE this website, BUT when I click onto a subject and see that the author has 20 or less points to lose, I go to the next forum. I have NO interest in helping someone who is obviously on the wrong site.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Live4Summer13
1) Skinny people eating whatever the heck the want (and not gaining a pound).
2) Skinny people thinking they are fat. And constantly complaining about it.
It's really hard to hear that even here people are openly judging others for their weight.
Problems with food, whether it's overeating, body dysmorphia, stress eating, etc manifest themselves in different ways. For some it is outwardly noticeable: a weight gain. For most it's a daily battle that is tearing them up physically and emotionally and this is something not outwardly visible. Everyone has their own battles and it's terrible for someone to judge someone else, regardless of their weight, based on what they eat or the way they feel about their body. I thought the point of this website is to create an uplifting, healthy place to nurture each other, a place where people who hate their body or love their body, who are overweight or trying to maintain or somewhere in between can find support and motivation. We all have a lot to learn from each other and a lot to give each other.
For some people 20 lbs could mean the difference between healthy and overweight. Some people "catch" themselves slipping after they gain 20 lbs and want to DO something about it before 20 lbs becomes 100 lbs. So they come to 3FC. Isn't that part of the point of this website....?
More importantly, this website is to provide support for all people to lead healthier lives. I understand that people who have 20 lbs to lose have a different journey than people who have 200 lbs to lose. But everyone is here because they are interested in giving and receiving the support to be healthier people.
I like 3FC because I have learned a lot about nutrition, fitness, and health from chicks of all shapes and sizes, some bigger than me, some smaller than me. I've received so much support and I try to give support and motivation as well. Many people on here have inspiring journeys and I love interacting with such incredible individuals. It's troubling to hear there's some sense that some people "do not belong" or are not welcome on this site.
Please don't judge other people because their journey is different from yours
i do understand what you're saying, and the first thing that came to mind when reading your post was one of my favorite quotes by Bikram Choudhury:
"Nothing can steal happiness, peace away from you: if anyone does make you angry, you are the loser; if someone can allow you to lose peace, you are the loser"
usually i apply this to my Bikram yoga practice, but i suppose it works in this instance as well.
NOTE: you're totally not a loser but you get the idea
AND, I must admit.....I LOVE this website, BUT when I click onto a subject and see that the author has 20 or less points to lose, I go to the next forum. I have NO interest in helping someone who is obviously on the wrong site.
Some people may have had "great metabolisms" all their life and suddenly they find themselves gaining weight and want to put a stop to it before it spirals out of control.
I wish I had nipped the problem in the butt when I only had 20 lbs to lose. I'm on my last 10-20 lbs and it's harder to lose now than it was when I was heavier.
Ever wonder if people who have addiction to alcohol get all of that unasked for advice, same as we who have chronic food addiction? Our current culture seems to encourage everyone to comment about everyone else, not just about weird celebs and their personal antics. Anyone is free game these days. And when you mention "skinny", I picture Skelator in my mind, ribs sticking out, like people from a concentration camp. Also wonder about people who have to tell everyone their size, day in and day out. Please, just tattoo it on your forehead for us...........
I know its really done of my business... but...
Things i'm SICK of..
1) Skinny people eating whatever the heck the want (and not gaining a pound). I smell Mcdonalds and i instantly gain 10 pounds (okay, kidding)
Your right it's really none of your business.
Most "skinny" people I know work out so they can eat what they want. They do the work to stay "skinny".
Quote:
Originally Posted by Live4Summer13
Things i'm SICK of..
2) Skinny people thinking they are fat. And constantly complaining about it.
These people have a psychological problem and you should feel bad for them not berate them. They obviously have issues and are sad and hurting.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Live4Summer13
Things i'm SICK of..
3) People saying they are going to start a diet and then still eating fast food, Chinese take out, etc. and then wondering why nothing is changing.
Some people are not ready to change. It's not your problem to worry about it or judge them. They don't want to be fat but they don't know how to fix themselves. They are sad and hurting inside and they are complaining because they are sad and hurting.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Live4Summer13
Things i'm SICK of..
4) people judging me by what I eat. I swear (since i'm not skinny) people just can't get over the fact that I'm eating healthy foods all the time. and of course EVERYONE has to comment on it every single time.
Ignore them. It will stop. Why do you care what they think?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Live4Summer13
sorry about the rant.. just a little angry.. and seeing if anyone else feels the same that I do.
What are you guys sick of? or maybe i'm the only one?? haha
I didn't find your post all that amusing, more you are attacking "skinny" people. I don't think you should worry what anyone else is doing or eating. You should focus on yourself. You don't want people to judge you for what you are eating so why are you judging other people?
I guess I could say I'm sick of seeing these kind of posts.
People should NEVER comment on what someone is eating! It is very rude and hurtful. They are not in your shoes so they don't know what you need to eat!
I still eat fast food because it is cheap but I make sure it is within my daily calorie budget
i totally agree with indiblue......this site is about all shapes and sizes coming together to reach one common goal......getting healthier and back on track. It seems as if a few people on here have lost sight of that
I'm sure I have pissed off a large number of fat and obese people that are trying to lose weight. I don't eat out often so when I do I plan around it so I can enjoy it but all the fat person at the table next to me sees is a relatively slim guy eating a huge amount of food. Seriously ... I can put it away.
Unless you spend 24 hours a day with someone you have no idea how many calories they are consuming.
People who's metabolisms are so fast they can eat huge amounts of calories are extremely rare. More than likely that person isn't eating as much as you think or they are very active or both. Those metabolic calculators that aproximate your BMR were designed based on studying people and if you look at the data there are very few outliers.
I only have problems with the sabotagers, the ones who know my plan and my goals and insist on trying to break my will and thwart my efforts. Wish I could cut them all from my life. Got it down to one person left...my 81 year old mother. I don't go over to her house during meal time, ever. I don't accept food from her. I don't accept her invitations to eat at her house. Because she won't honor what I'm trying to do. I spend plenty of time with her otherwise. But somehow, not accepting her food means I'm rejecting her and avoiding her and that I don't love her. Her behavior is pushing me very close to that lately!
- People who believe that their way is the ONLY way to lose weight. 3FC has taught me the value of all kinds of paths to better health and I get a little irked with those who think that only CC/low-carb/WLS can work long-term. There are ALL kinds of success stories here.
- People judging my current weight and level of fitness too harshly. I'm proud that I walk two to three miles regularly even if I don't jog it; it's a huge step up from the half a block I used to walk before melting into a puddle of misery. I'm working on improving my fitness, so please don't look askance at me and make me feel silly.
- People who judge others--and I am including myself in that number. We all judge others sometimes, no matter how fleetingly or how much we chastise ourselves for being judgmental afterward. Every time I do it, I remind myself that I don't know where that person has been or what goes on in her head. If I don't know, I shouldn't judge.
- Angry, mean, nasty fitness buffs who not-so-secretly hate fat people. Yeah, some people respond well to that. I don't. I would love to see some 500-pound person rise up and just backhand one of the yappy, fat-hating pests on some of the fitness shows I see on television.
- Food police. That includes everyone from the well-meaning person who says, "ohh, should you have avocado? It has FAT in it!" to my vegan friend who makes a moue of disgust every time I so much as mention meat (which I try not to do, but sometimes there's no answer to "what'd you have for lunch?" except the truth) to lobbyists on Capitol Hill who want to slap big taxes on the foods they deem insufficiently virtuous. People are WAY too up in each other's business about what's on everyone's plates.
Edited to add: That last one doesn't include most 3FC posts about "should I eat this?" and "what do you think of that?" Solicited food advice is totally A-OK.
Last edited by Nola Celeste; 04-09-2011 at 06:10 AM.
I've been reading this post but just now had a chance to write a well-thought out response.
I think one thing that people are forgetting here are that these are thoughts that are very common at the beginning of ones journey. I remember very distinctly and incident that happened shortly after having DD. I was in a playgroup for newmoms and and had a lot of body image issues because I had gained 65lbs during my pregnancy and was really struggling losing it afterwards.
I had asked the other moms how they were fitting in workouts amongst everything else and not a one of them were working out (note these were all women who looked slim and were certainly back to normal weights shortly after their pregnancy). They didn't mean anything by their answers, they were just being truthful, but that killed all my confidence at that time. Add to that that they then proceeded to complain about their stomachs afterwards and I was just devastated that there was no chance that I was going to lose all this weight. Shortly after that I gained back quite a bit of the weight that I had lost originally.
I've since gotten back on track and lost all that weight and more but I remember even posting about my frustrating at my friends being skinny effortless while I was working my butt off and getting nowhere. Sure, we don't know what goes on with them everyday and that's part of it too. But it's bigger than that. We ALL have our demons to deal with and it's easy to forget that when we see that demon every day when we look into the mirror. Since I've gotten to know these ladies better, I know that we all have different struggles. They have issues to deal with that I just don't have. That's part of life. My issues might be visible to the passerby on the street and theirs might not be but again that's life.
It's not about being fair or not. Some of my friends deal with things that I would never want to deal with and I'd actually take weight struggles any day over their issues (while they might pick the opposite).
I guess my main point is be nice to the OP. This is obviously something that she's struggling with right now and that's OK. Seeing her skinny friends is making her weight loss journey harder and I can understand that. I have a feeling, though, once she's farther on her journey that this won't be an issue so much but for now these are completely valid thoughts and concerns that she needs to deal with.
I guess my main point is be nice to the OP. This is obviously something that she's struggling with right now and that's OK. Seeing her skinny friends is making her weight loss journey harder and I can understand that. I have a feeling, though, once she's farther on her journey that this won't be an issue so much but for now these are completely valid thoughts and concerns that she needs to deal with.[/QUOTE]
I think you hit that spot on. I guess i'm just frustrated because i'm trying SO hard.. but then I see my friends eat Mcdonalds, chinese, etc and don't gain a pound. I totally agree that when my journey gets a little further along (its only been about 5 weeks now) my mind might chance. Now, I think I just need to focus on myself.
I understand your rant & pretty much everything you listed, I am SICk of as well .. lol
@ ppl getting offended by freaking EVERYTHING on this board.. gosh its like no one can rant & tell their honest opinion & feelings without someone getting all butt hurt & offended. We're all adults here, right? No one is perfect & no one has perfect feelings. No one was called out on personally besides the people who were venting, so why are people so upset.. eating & dieting is a very personal relative thing; everyone has their feelings & views on it & they are all different. Someone might be disgusted & sickened by an overweight person eating junk all the time; that doesn't mean they're ignorant or anything, its just their view. Some people may feel like 20 lbs is nothing , some ppl might.. its all about YOUR perspective. Someone might think that I have no business on this board & that I need to have WLS instead of dieting.. that's their opinion ... Im not about to get all upset about it.. its just a discussion.
people have the right to protest someone else's views as long as they're respectful i guess, there's nothing wrong with that at all .. but not everyone feels supportive & positive all the time while dieting. sometime you need to rant & let out your honest opinion regardless of how people FEEL about it.. & I wouldn't consider any of these posts abusive or anything..
but you get the idea
@ ppl getting offended by freaking EVERYTHING on this board.. gosh its like no one can rant & tell their honest opinion & feelings without someone getting all butt hurt & offended. We're all adults here, right? No one is perfect & no one has perfect feelings. No one was called out on personally besides the people who were venting, so why are people so upset.. eating & dieting is a very personal relative thing; everyone has their feelings & views on it & they are all different. Someone might be disgusted & sickened by an overweight person eating junk all the time; that doesn't mean they're ignorant or anything, its just their view. Some people may feel like 20 lbs is nothing , some ppl might.. its all about YOUR perspective. Someone might think that I have no business on this board & that I need to have WLS instead of dieting.. that's their opinion ... Im not about to get all upset about it.. its just a discussion.
