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Old 04-26-2006, 07:51 AM   #1  
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Lightbulb Who lied to me? I'm angry and I'm not taking it anymore!

So last night, I was thinking...

Who lied to me?

Who told me that the numbers on the scale were so important? Who told me I had to be a certain size to be considered beautiful? WHO LIED TO ME?

Well, ya know what. I'm not buying that lie anymore. I have been on my 'diet' for 52 days now, the weight is not coming off on the scale like I'd like it too... BUT SO WHAT????

I am healthier, I am more energetic, I have higher self esteem, and I feel better than I have in a long time. This is my lifestyle now- not just a diet- so what if the scale doesn't move? I am stopping myself RIGHT NOW from buying the lie that I have to be a certain size... I am beautiful -right now, just the way I am.

That feels so good, that I've finally come to a point in my life where I can honestly say I love myself, I'm proud of myself, and I am worthy to be taken care of. Eating right and excercising are not just about losing weight and seeing the scale move down, it's about knowing you are worth enough to take care of your body! The lies will not trick me any longer.

So, who lied to you?
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Old 04-26-2006, 08:33 AM   #2  
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That's great if that is what you want and you are satisfied with your size. Personally I do care about what the scale says and I will NOT give up my goal to get the weight off. I agree our society lies to us in telling us we need to be beanpoles... and it is quite possible you are not really overweight, depending on your height and build. At your weight I would look pretty good; unfortunately I am not there!

But I don't think anyone lied to me.. I AM fat and THAT is what I won't put up with any longer! So I will "take" whatever I have to (as long as it is healthy and I am doing stuff that is good for me) to get this horrible weight off!

Just my two cents and a different perspective.
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Old 04-26-2006, 09:01 AM   #3  
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I would rather be 250 and happy and healthy than 130 and miserable and out of shape I do this because I want to and I feel better. It is all for ME and no one else. I want to be healthy & active for my kids as well.
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Old 04-26-2006, 09:10 AM   #4  
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Jude, I can appreciate what you're saying. When I was in college, I was really fit. I was running every day, and had a good, muscular body. But I weighed 128 (I'm 5'-2"), and I thought I was fat.

Now I'm 208. And I AM fat. There's no doubt about that. But I have lost and kept off 11 pounds to date, and like you, I'm already feeling healthier and more energetic.
But I'm not planning on obsessing over the scale. If I get down to 145 and I feel great, I'm not going to think, "I've got to get back down to 128!!" I think that most of us mature about the scale thing as we get older.

Who lied to me back then when I was slim and fit? I honestly don't know. I wasn't one to read fashion magazines or follow the lives of movie stars. Although I always had a boyish body, and I think maybe I thought that all women had to look like the Halle Berry type. You know... with great hips and breasts. Obviously we do not ALL look like that!!
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Old 04-26-2006, 09:10 AM   #5  
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I think you way of thinking it really refreshing!!!

You are right! who made a size 2 beustiful??? in my opinion that is way way too small and unhealthy. YOu have to keep an unhealthy life style to keep that size...PLUS why is it that our society is soooo obsessed with thinness...I mean skinny skinny???yet they push the message that we should be takeing care of our bodies...well those to messages do not coincide!!! to me "holliwood" skinny you would NOT be healthy !

I would rather be healthy and at a higher weight that be skinny and sick!!! If we focus on how we feel, how our confidenc has increased, how much more energy we have...and continue to eat healthy the weight loss is just an extra bonus! yes it will come off lower but heck, I would rather that and have set some good habits than yoyo with my weight!!!

Very good post my dear!!!
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Old 04-26-2006, 09:14 AM   #6  
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Oh and by the way, I was 7 (yes 7) the first time I asked my mom if I was fat. I bought a new bathing suit for swimmng lessons and thought I was fat...I WAS SEVEN!!!
I don't blame my Mom because she always told me I was beautiful and perfect...I got it from the media! it worse today!!! I was watching Oprah and there was this 3 year old who thought she was ugly!!! THREE YEARS OLD!! it has to stop!
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Old 04-26-2006, 10:19 AM   #7  
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Who lied to you? Well, there's a whole fashion/beauty/entertainment industry out there who lied and said that there's only one way to be beautiful. It takes strength to tune those voices out, but you're doing it, so kudos to you.

However--I also think 12 pounds in 52 days is not bad at all. Don't knock your progress.

As Misti said of herself, I, too, really am fat. At my current weight, it's a health issue as much as a beauty issue for me. But I know that even at my thinnest, I won't fit the cultural "cover girl" ideal. Only about 1% of the female population ever will--and even they get airbrushed before publication.
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Old 04-26-2006, 10:23 AM   #8  
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Misti- thanks for your post, It's true that I will have to weigh myself every once in a while just to keep tabs on it, I guess what I'm saying is that I'm not going to let the scale be the only reason I'm doing this.

Fitgal, thanks! I saw Oprah yesterday too. It was crazy, because last night, I was trying on clothes, and I was feeling down because the scale said I was 2 pounds higher. I all of a sudden, I thought "D*** it! The scale should NOT be this powerful. Who made me believe this way?" I had a (as Oprah says) "lightbulb moment."
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Old 04-26-2006, 10:34 AM   #9  
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i know...the media make us all think we have to be stick thin to be beautiful. unfortunately i do care about the number on the scale. i know i shouldn't but i do. but i also care about what size clothes i wear and how i look in them....or really rather...out of them. i am tired of being all jiggly. i want to tone up my body and look sleeker. i want to be as beautiful as i feel some days. i hate that they airbrush modles in photo shoots. it sends us a very bad image of ourselves. i had a talk with my 6 year old when she told me she wanted to jump rope after church so she could lose weight. i told her i did not want to hear that from her. i told her she is very beautiful the way she is. she is a little on the heavy side, but not very. she's tall for her age and she weighs about 64 pounds. but she has even cut back on her sweets and is drinking more water like mommy. she is healthy too. i told her not to let anyone ever make her feel like she was not beautiful...that she is beautiful the way she is. and we should all feel that way too...but i know i need to lose a few pounds on the outside to catch up with the beauty that is on the inside. i know that being thin is not going to make my troubles go away, or make me a happier person...but it will make me feel better about myself when i want to make a good impression on someone for the first time or i walk into a room of thin women...i want to feel like i am not sticking out like a sore thumb. and i won't lie....I want to be HOT again!!!
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Old 04-26-2006, 10:59 AM   #10  
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You know, I am so tired of people looking at the numbers on the scale for me- - I'll admit, the numbers are way high for my liking- -HOWEVER. My doctor told me that I weighed too much, and I should weigh 165 pounds. My husband told me the doctor was nuts. At 190 pounds I wear a size 10-- Yep, 10. At 165 I'd be sick-- not to mention that my husband said if I got that thin he'd ask me to gain weight! So we'll see what happens-- but I'm tired of the medical profession just looking at numbers on the scale, and not body fat percentage.
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Old 04-26-2006, 11:24 AM   #11  
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When I was in my 20's I weighed 135 at 5'8 - when I look at those pictures now I think I look bony. I would not want to be that weight again.

I think it is more important to be at a weight that you feel good and comfortable at and can maintain in a reasonable fashion and not have to starve yourself to get to and have good health at (i.e. cholesterol levels, blood pressure, blood sugar levels).

I have no health issues at my current weight and my doctor says I should try to maintain at 160 - 165lbs and eat well and stay active. I'm 15 lbs away from my personal goal but I am more interested in being fit than thin at this point.

I think the media and the fashion industry can share some of the blame.
Think about beauty icons of the past - Marilyn Monroe, Raquel Welch, Sophia Loren - not stick women at all! Also I'm finding that when shopping in the more affordable or mid price stores the sizes are ridiculous. A top that is marked as size large (my current size) would barely fit my head through the neck opening and would crush my chest (I'm only a B36) - I thought I had mistakenly entered a kids clothing store!

Even when you can stop shopping in the plus size stores the frustration of the clothing sizes can make you feel fatter than you are and plague you with self esteem issues. I can't even imagine what it is like for an overweight teen these days when all the clothes are made to be too tight and too revealing! How depressing
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Old 04-26-2006, 01:52 PM   #12  
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LOL, this is why I NEVER weigh myself even though I did like a week ago. I never cared for the weight loss, but just the amazing vibrant energy I get from exercise and proper diet.
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Old 04-26-2006, 01:54 PM   #13  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by erinid
You know, I am so tired of people looking at the numbers on the scale for me- - I'll admit, the numbers are way high for my liking- -HOWEVER. My doctor told me that I weighed too much, and I should weigh 165 pounds. My husband told me the doctor was nuts. At 190 pounds I wear a size 10-- Yep, 10. At 165 I'd be sick-- not to mention that my husband said if I got that thin he'd ask me to gain weight! So we'll see what happens-- but I'm tired of the medical profession just looking at numbers on the scale, and not body fat percentage.

You are so right. But some doctors are terribly lazy past assessment of weight. SOme care a bit more, and look at your body fat % or your cholesterol/heart pressure, but most just find it easy for the patient to step on the scale. I really think some clinicians don't do their jobs correctly....
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Old 04-26-2006, 01:58 PM   #14  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lumifan4ever
i had a talk with my 6 year old when she told me she wanted to jump rope after church so she could lose weight. i told her i did not want to hear that from her. i told her she is very beautiful the way she is. she is a little on the heavy side, but not very. she's tall for her age and she weighs about 64 pounds. but she has even cut back on her sweets and is drinking more water like mommy. she is healthy too. i told her not to let anyone ever make her feel like she was not beautiful...that she is beautiful the way she is.
Lumifan, it would send tears down my face if I had a child and she said that to me. This is what the media does to us; even child can't help it but to feel that way.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Margarita
As Misti said of herself, I, too, really am fat. At my current weight, it's a health issue as much as a beauty issue for me. But I know that even at my thinnest, I won't fit the cultural "cover girl" ideal. Only about 1% of the female population ever will--and even they get airbrushed before publication.
Its true. We shouldn't have to feel that way if even those who grace the covers of fashion magazines aren't really all they are in reality.
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Old 04-26-2006, 03:16 PM   #15  
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Red face I agree.

Judes--- I agree with you.

If we stop to think about it, what most of us really want is to decrease our physical dimensions (and this, as you say, is somewhat driven by the media). We want to look "less fat" or "more thin" or "more attractive" or whatever you want to call it. In the end, it has more to do with decreasing our physical dimensions, though, than a number on a scale.

TRUE, the two do coincide to a certain degree, but it's the physical looking better that we're truly interested in. Think of it this way... do you want to be able to have people say "wow, you look thin!" or would you prefer to be able to answer the question "what do you weigh?" with a specific number? And, honestly, besides here at 3fc and at your doctor's office, where do you ever have to answer such a question?

I support your outlook, Judes. If we become constantly worried about what a scale says, then the scale has power over us. I have experienced this in my own life (in fact, I am in therapy over it right now). I weigh myself once a day, and if the scale is good to me, then I am happy. Otherwise, I feel like I have failed. I gave little thought to how my dimensions were doing. I may have lost an inch in my waist, but if the scale said I was up 1 pound, I went away feeling like I was a failure. Choosing to monitor your success or failure in different ways is a very good idea because it reminds you of what the real roots of your goals are.

Now, before I get FLAMED for this response, I am in no way advocating ignorance or denial. I am FAT, as well, and I don't need a scale to tell me so. I am also losing fat, and I don't need a scale to tell me so. And I don't believe that refusing the scale its power means you're giving up on your goals to get the weight off, either. I am simply commending Judes for acknowledging what her true goals are: health and a decrease in physical dimensions. It's hard to deny a scale its power, but you can do it. You do not have to let it dictate how you feel about yourself. Well done, Judes!
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