[BreathingSpace]

Originally Posted by Nola Celeste

Either way, sometimes it's best to accept a verbal gift in the spirit in which it was intended rather than the atrociously mangled way it came out.

I agree. He probably just wanted to connect with you on some level. People often have odd ways of trying to connect - they are sometimes awkward/nervous.

[Shmead]

I had a guy at work ask me if my "husband put his foot down". I think he thought it was funny. . .his tone was jocular. He's a total idiot, so I was more amused than upset. It was just such a weird thing to say.

[Mickeypnd]

sometimes i just don't think guys understand tact really. im sure he didn't mean it and thought he was being nice. . .

[Ookpik]

^^^He probably did. I'm with the posters that say perhaps he meant well but it just came out wrong.

I have been told countless times that I lost A LOT of weight...with emphasis on the word "lot". I try to take it as a compliment, figuring that maybe they were acknowledging all that I had accomplished through my efforts. A lot of people have told me I inspired them, and truthfully, not tooting my own horn or anything, losing 100 pounds is awe-inspiring to some people, so again, perhaps they are just emphasizing the major loss that I had accomplished. Or they could be giving me a back-handed compliment, but I'd rather think they were being positive.

[carter]

As bad as some people are at giving compliments, others are just as bad at taking them. I see a lot of posts here where people get upset by nefarious subtexts they read into compliments that probably aren't even intended. Like: "Someone told me I looked good today. OMG he must have meant I was a hideous manatee before!!!"

Complimenting people on their weight loss is a minefield, so a lot of folks just don't do it at all. Others try but unintentionally say the wrong thing. The guy in the OP is probably on the extreme and of tactless comments. But given how many people (including myself) complain of getting no comments at all, consider the alternative - someone tactful enough not to give a compliment in the first place.

Also - I don't know about any of you, but I didn't look like a supermodel at my heaviest. I was quite fat. (Now I'm just somewhat fat.) I expect that the people around me noticed that. And any of the rare compliments I get on it include the implicit statement that I look fitter and healthier and better than I did before. So what? I certainly think I do. Why should I let it get under my skin if other people think so too? I was really fat. I was really big. This is not a state secret.

[joyfulloser]

Originally Posted by carter

As bad as some people are at giving compliments, others are just as bad at taking them. I see a lot of posts here where people get upset by nefarious subtexts they read into compliments that probably aren't even intended. Like: "Someone told me I looked good today. OMG he must have meant I was a hideous manatee before!!!"

Complimenting people on their weight loss is a minefield, so a lot of folks just don't do it at all. Others try but unintentionally say the wrong thing. The guy in the OP is probably on the extreme and of tactless comments. But given how many people (including myself) complain of getting no comments at all, consider the alternative - someone tactful enough not to give a compliment in the first place.

Also - I don't know about any of you, but I didn't look like a supermodel at my heaviest. I was quite fat. (Now I'm just somewhat fat.) I expect that the people around me noticed that. And any of the rare compliments I get on it include the implicit statement that I look fitter and healthier and better than I did before. So what? I certainly think I do. Why should I let it get under my skin if other people think so too? I was really fat. I was really big. This is not a state secret.

THIS^^!!!

[luciddepths]

amen Carter!

[lauralyn]

Well said Carter...we need a like button on here

[goal4agirl]

Why Thank You! Tic Tac?...no no you keep the bottle .