I lost weight before and I got those sort of ''compliments''... now I know exactly what people think of me becasue they told me how BIG I was when I was thinner than I am right now, so I must be MEGA BIG to people now. people should just shut up eh? xx
Ugh, I hate the "you'll look sick" comments. I told my mom my goal was 125, and she told me I would look sick at 125. I went off on her about how 125 was a healthy weight for my height. It's actually in the higher end of the normal weight range! I think I'd look GREAT and that's all that matters.
Yea someone told me I'd look bad being 140 because of my built frame and pudgy face. I was like dude I've been 140 before and the only reason why my face is pudgy IS because I have this weight on...she was kind of stupid anyways. Her way to get thin is to not eat...
Also if I was in the situation with the guy who needss to learn to put his foot in his mouth...I would have been like thanks I look wonderful and I'm glad you noticed then turned around and walked away.
I don't think "keep up the good work" implies that you still are megafat and have a ways to go. I think lots of people realize taht the loss is not the only work, maintaining is work, and they're acknowledging that you're working. I would never find that to be offensive.
Yea someone told me I'd look bad being 140 because of my built frame and pudgy face. I was like dude I've been 140 before and the only reason why my face is pudgy IS because I have this weight on...she was kind of stupid anyways. Her way to get thin is to not eat...
Also if I was in the situation with the guy who needss to learn to put his foot in his mouth...I would have been like thanks I look wonderful and I'm glad you noticed then turned around and walked away.
Ugh, she called your face pudgy!? It isn't, and she was a jerk about it anyway. She must be the younger, dumber cousin of the "friend" who once told me, "SOME people might say that the only reason you have such big boobs is because you're overweight, but I think they're misjudging how overweight you really are!" (At the time, I weighed a "monstrous" 130 pounds or so.)
I still remember her from high school. Wonder if she ever fell down that mine-shaft I hoped she'd find?
Oh, wow, some people are awfully awkward. Maybe that would've been a good time to tell him, in a nice way, that you appreciate the compliment and encouragement but, the first "you've lost a lot of weight" is a really a good place to stop talking.
Of course he was trying to give a compliment but that's really hard to hear even if it was true. There's just some things you don't say!! But I hope you're feeling better *hugs*
I was told at a bar once that I was "sexy for a big girl". My guy friends gave him a bit of a time about it and later on he came up to me and apologized if he offened me and then went on to say "but you gotta admit that you are a big girl!" Lol! It still make me giggle when I think of it. The guy was drunk and I was flattered that he tought I was sexy and left it at that. His intentions were in the right place and that's really all that matters to me. I put my foot in my mouth ALL the time, so I try to cut others some slack when they say dumb @$$ things.
I don't think people mean harm when they say things akin to those things. Keep up the good work, good job so far and the like. I think they realize, that if you went that far, that you are probably trying to go all the way down to what people see as an ideal weight. I for example, still have some ways to go, and I have lost nearly a full third of my total body mass from when I started.
When you go from huge to not nearly as huge, to lean. People are sometimes taken back, sometimes, because they wish they had the drive to do the same, sometimes because it is such a drastic change.
When you change drastically enough, expect people to not know what to say, you have done something far greater then words can describe.
I have heard that before, almost the exact same words as the OP!
I knew the offender for years so I knew that that was just as much as he was able to give a compliment to *any* woman. He was surprised to see me in the good form I was in and was just trying to relay that in his dumb man-child way. He tried at least.
How you take it is up to you, I choose to lean on the side of positive and just assume the rest was not intended to be negative.
Last edited by BigBlueStar; 01-07-2011 at 01:23 PM.
I agree with Ultreosthat they probably don't mean harm but I just hope that later he realized what an a$$ comment that was and had his tail between his legs, however, probably not!
Some people don't have a filter. My best friend doesn't about most things but at least she would have a filter for weight! LOL
*hugs*
