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Old 06-09-2010, 12:58 AM   #1  
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Default How do I make myself WANT to lose weight?

This is a totally serious question. =/ In theory, I "want" to lose weight, but I guess I don't want it that badly. It's really sad. I want to be healthy. I want to be slender. I'm a pretty girl and I think that I would be extremely attractive with a little less weight on my bones. I think it would help my future career too; I'm interested in becoming involved with the film industry. I want a stellar sex life. Basically, there are no drawbacks to me losing weight.

But...I want food more. I want the comfort of it. I want to be able to eat chocolate chip cookie dough so that I can call a night a "special" night. I want to eat fried foods when I'm stressed. I want to indulge all the time. I've managed to lose ten pounds, but I don't know if that will last long. I've eaten out TWICE this week...and trust me, I wasn't eating grilled chicken. The only explanation I have for not gaining much weight back (I weigh everyday) is that I've started working as a server at a restaurant and I'm constantly on my toes. I also have less time to eat stuff in the house because I'm working.

I'm in college and I want to be hot. I want to go party. I want to date fun guys.

But I want to binge more.

How do I quit wanting to binge more?
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Old 06-09-2010, 01:07 AM   #2  
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Ohmygosh. Are we the same person? Seriously. I'm in the exact same boat as you - I want so badly to be sexy again, to experience that carefree feeling. I guess what I really miss most of all (and maybe this is very shallow?) is being able to get dressed really quickly, run out the door, and still feel beautiful throughout the day. I'd toss on a cute outfit, put on my makeup quickly, and get compliments all night. Now, I can get ready for hours and still feel.. blah. Essentially, it all boils down to the fact that I FELT beautiful. I don't feel beautiful anymore. I feel.. almost repulsive. I know how irresistible food can seem. I know that void you feel when you want to taste something so badly and how you won't be content until you have it. That's my life, everyday.

It's a constant battle and I'm always struggling with it. I just remind myself that the weight gain didn't happen overnight so it's not going to come off overnight. I remind myself that IT IS POSSIBLE. Because sometimes it doesn't feel like it. That's really the most inspiring part of it all - you CAN do it. It's not impossible.

Just hang in there, I'll be right there with you. We can totally do this!
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Old 06-09-2010, 01:09 AM   #3  
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You need to get to the emotional reasons why you want to use food as your outlet and figure out why. The real reasons, not "because it tastes good", because when you re binging, you know as well as I do, you hardly taste anything.

I highly reccomend Dr becks- train your brain to think like a thin person's book. i think there is even a thread or 20 on this board in regard.
Until you start to address the reasons why you use food as your control, emotional outlet etc you can't move past the wanting to eat.

And in all honesty- you might not be ready. I have no idea, no psychology degree here, just my own experiences. Best of luck to you- life is short- make it count!
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Old 06-09-2010, 01:24 AM   #4  
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It's very tough. I wanted to lose weight for 20 years, but I struggled with my love of food. I used to daydream/fantasize about losing weight, I thought I wanted it so much, but I loved scones and M&Ms more.

I had one of those "click" moments that changed me. I had gone to see a movie and when I went to the bathroom, I cut the outside of my left thigh on a metal trash receptacle. I cut my leg because I was TOO BIG. A thin person would have fit on the seat. My fat thigh overhang was too big. In that flash, I saw a future of seat belt extenders and being turned down from roller coaster rides. I cried in that movie theater bathroom, I knew I was big, but this was a wake-up call I was on the express train to FAT.

Soon after this happened, I was browsing a bookstore (I was always addicted to the weight loss/diet books) and found Super Foods Rx: 14 Foods that Will Change Your Life by Steven Pratt. I had this feeling that I could lose weight, really, forever. I knew how to do it and I knew it would work. Although there have been some tweaks and revisions over the years, I knew that instead of saying what NOT to eat, I would instead concentrate on WHAT to eat.

I don't know why it took 20 years, I sure felt ready most of those overweight years.

I can tell you that what really worked for me was significantly reducing sugar. I didn't even know sugar/white carby foods were my problem when I started. They just weren't super foods, so I didn't eat them. If you had told me 6 years ago, I would live a life without scones, muffins, cookies or pretzels, I would have thought you were CRAZY. It turns out, I don't miss them.

All my life I thought I had a problem with food, a nagging, aching must eat more compulsion. It turns out I only had a problem with SOME foods. I was in a prison and all along I had the key. I think of all the times I used to stand in front of a cabinet, searching searching for something to eat. A handful of chocolate chips, sugar on bread, peanut butter out of the jar. I don't want to get too over dramatic, but giving up/reducing these foods has been a miracle. I feel free of my food compulsions.

I honestly don't know if I could have given up sugar just because someone said "give up sugar." I thought those foods were my FAVORITE foods, that life wouldn't be worth living without my absolute favorites. I kind of...snuck up on the solution, it was a byproduct of what I was doing.

Occasionally, my inner two year old stomps around saying SCONES MUFFINS CANDY and whines that I can't eat like a "normal person" - I always remind myself I had 20 years to eat whatever I wanted and I was not a happy person. Now, I eat carefully and mindfully and I am so much happier. Food never made me happy. Not nearly as happy as being healthy and slender makes me.

Last edited by Glory87; 06-09-2010 at 11:15 AM.
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Old 06-09-2010, 01:34 AM   #5  
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Well ... here's some possible trade-offs for you if you lose weight:
You could trade off the "comfort" of overeating for the comfort of having a hot boyfriend.
You could trade a "special" night with cookie dough for a night when you put on a fabulous, sexy outfit and dance the night away.
You could trade handling stress with fried foods for handling stress with a walk or run in the park.
You could indulge yourself every day by looking in the mirror and loving what you see.
The choice is yours. Do you deal with it now while you are young and healthy or do you wait until you gain more weight and it affects EVERY AREA OF YOUR LIFE?
Again, the choice is yours and yours alone. No one else can commit for you.
I hope you make a good decision about the rest of your life. This site is a great place to visit.
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Old 06-09-2010, 01:48 AM   #6  
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Originally Posted by Cglasscock1 View Post
Well ... here's some possible trade-offs for you if you lose weight:
You could trade off the "comfort" of overeating for the comfort of having a hot boyfriend.
You could trade a "special" night with cookie dough for a night when you put on a fabulous, sexy outfit and dance the night away.
You could trade handling stress with fried foods for handling stress with a walk or run in the park.
You could indulge yourself every day by looking in the mirror and loving what you see.
The choice is yours. Do you deal with it now while you are young and healthy or do you wait until you gain more weight and it affects EVERY AREA OF YOUR LIFE?
Again, the choice is yours and yours alone. No one else can commit for you.
I hope you make a good decision about the rest of your life. This site is a great place to visit.
Thank you so much for saying this! It is very inspiring.
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Old 06-09-2010, 01:51 AM   #7  
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I had the smae problem. same same same. i would just get lazy and give u. for one week do everyting right set yourself one week aleast give yourself that much. excersie everyday eat right.

you will see and i promise the I WANT. the next week ask your self do u wanna run. i did this and it worked i went from i have to, to i want too, need too and should!!! your body will feel amazing and you will want to see amazing every day

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Old 06-09-2010, 01:53 AM   #8  
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Exercise. I committed to start exercising at least four or five days a week, because then I could eat more calories without gaining! I found that exercise made me want to eat healthier, and then, as the weight started coming off, that was the motivation I needed to keep going. Then, being able to fit into my smaller clothes became the motivation. Then, as my body started changing, I created other goals to keep me motivated. All it takes is a little bit of progress to inspire you to greater things.

This site has been crucial in my commitment to weight loss, so stick around! Good luck. You're going to be so much happier as the hot you rather than the bingeing you.
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Old 06-09-2010, 01:55 AM   #9  
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listen to everything u posted. i want i want. KEEP THAT IN MIND. look GOOGLE THIS "WHAT DOES 5LBS OF FAT LOOKS LIKE?"

if you see that you will not want cookie dough ever agian. you can have anything you want in moderation. once a week. subsute fries for apples
its possible you need to make it happen
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Old 06-09-2010, 02:06 AM   #10  
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The more you lose, the more you will want to lose. When the compliments start rolling in, and everything in your closet fits and looks good the food is going to start seeming less important.

I have always liked "special nights" in with pizza, ice cream and girl movies ect... I still have those but I spend time finding special recipes that taste great but are still good (well, better) for you. I will make Hungry Girl onion rings, WW 2 point cake with whipped cream, or english muffin pizzas. I stay on plan, but I don't make these things everyday so they seem like a treat.

Keep it up, I bet in another 20 pounds you're going to notice a HUGE difference and LOVE IT! If you don't love it you can always go back to your old ways - but something tells me you wont Keep up the good work girls!

Last edited by Shytowngal; 06-09-2010 at 02:07 AM.
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Old 06-09-2010, 04:12 AM   #11  
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I second Glory's email.

I do a mainly vegan / whole foods diet now - and whenever I am in the position where I must eat something outside of that diet, such as ordered in pizza (something I used to think was amazingly good), I find that it simply tastes too salty and like it has too many preservatives. Or, sweets from the Bakery - they are simply too sugary.

Certain foods bring out your addictions (I also should not have peanut butter or cheese around).

I'd suggest investing time in learning how to become an ultra cook - with only whole ingredients (meaning: don't buy anything at the grocery store past the produce section). You will learn how to naturally (almost unconsciously) change your desire to eat unhealthy foods.
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Old 06-09-2010, 05:20 AM   #12  
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First, congratulations on losing 10 pounds already and getting a job which keeps you on your feet. You have a made a great start!

Everyone has already made good suggestions. I can relate to your plight because I was there for many years; wanting to lose but staying in the same cycle of craving and caving. Glory87 talked about how eliminating the sugar really helped lessen the cravings. I totally agree. After many years of trying, it actually became so much easier once I eliminated sugar and white flour from my diet. Reading books really helped me to begin to understand alot of the components. "The End of Overeating" by David Kessler really opened my eyes to the physical component of food addiction. http://www.theendofovereatingbook.com/blog.php Once I understood how my body responded when I ate sugar, fat and salt, it became easier to avoid the foods that seemed to overpower my personal desire to lose weight. I went ahead and followed a specific plan for detoxing from the sugar addiction which was difficult. After 2 weeks, I felt much better and it was much easier to stay on track.

Exercise has been mentioned, and I found it helped me lots, too. I have found exercise I like (bike riding and water aerobics) which make it easier to stay consistent. If you're not quite ready to start a formal exercise routine just start walking an extra block or 2 every day. I always park at the far end of the lot when I go to the store.

Another poster mentioned the Beck books. I highly recommend reading them, too. I have just recently read them and am incorporating Dr. Beck's principles into my food plan. Here is a link to the forum at 3fc; http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/beck-diet-solution-234/ .From the forum, "The Beck Diet Solution is a psychological program, not a food plan. It provides a step-by-step program to learn specific techniques to stay on our diet, lose weight, and maintain our weight loss for life. The program is based on Dr. Beck's clinical research in Cognitive Therapy (CT)."

I noticed your goal to reach onederland by the time classes start again. You have a very realistic goal in sight. I would suggest that you simply start by;
1. Committing not to regain the weight that you have lost. If you simply add some exercise, and start making better food choices right away you can maintain your current losses while you formulate a strategy.
2. Start reading, and learning about different food plans. I find that planning is a key to success.
3. Find a forum here that you can call "home" and post every single day. When I post every day, I find that my bad days are less likely to turn into bad months.
4. You have some great reasons to want to lose weight. Write them on paper and read them every day. It helps!

Give yourself a big pat on the back for being concerned about your health and bringing your questions here. Don't give up, keep striving to break the cycle of weight gain. You can do this!

Best wishes!
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Old 06-09-2010, 09:01 AM   #13  
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I used to think exactly like you: whenever I "dieted" I would crave unhealthy foods--pizza and cookies and cake and ice cream and hot dogs. I would crave them with a fierceness than took my breath away. I would hold out as long as I could, then collapse, going back to my old ways.

Turns out, I wasn't eating enough. I was raised on the idea that a diet is 900-1200 calories. Well, ****, at 300 lbs and in my teens or twenties, that's half the calories my body burned just existing. I was starving to death, but I didn't know it because my stomach wasn't growling or hurting. Instead, I was cranky, tired, had headaches, couldn't concentrate and fantasized endlessly about junk food. I had no idea dieting didn't have to feel like that.

Now, I eat moderately. I eat 1500-1800 hundred calories a day, which is a lot of food. And while I still want junk food--oh, what I could do to a chocolate layer cake--I don't crave it. I can indulge myself in small portions of things and stop there.

If you lose the weight and decide you liked your old life better, you can' always go back to eating whatever you want. Cookie dough and Applebee's will still be there in a year. But it's worth seeing what it is like to be a weight you are happy with.
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Old 06-09-2010, 09:18 AM   #14  
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Yep, I've been there. I've wanted to lose weight since I was about 10 years old, but I could just never get started. I wasn't even a yo-yo dieter because I couldn't stay on a "diet" for more than a few hours. As soon as I passed a fast food restaurant, my diet would be over.

For me, it was the tiny victories that got addictive. Tiny successes and tiny good choices made me want slightly more impressive successes and make slightly better choices. It eventually snowballed into losing 50lbs. I did NOT start out wanting to lose 50lbs. In fact, I just wanted to see if I could make the scale go down at all. By anything. So I'd make very small good decisions, one choice, one hour, one day at a time. I had one bowl of cereal in the morning instead of four (oh yes, four bowls of cereal was a norm for me). The power of saying "no, I'll just have one" and surviving the morning on one bowl of cereal was a success for me, and it felt good. I wanted that good feeling again, so I made another good choice. Etc etc etc. I didn't really know what I was doing, but I learned. Then I got on the scale and saw actual results, I think I was down like 5lbs that first week. Then I was officially hooked, I couldn't get enough of it.

Eventually the initial motivation wore off, the scale slowed down and good choices were just routine and no longer exciting. But at that point, determination had taken over. I was no longer amazed that I could survive a whole morning on one bowl of cereal, I was downright determined to lose weight and I was actually doing it. Something I'd never done before.

So don't think "I have Xlbs to lose and I need to change my whole life and give up all the goodies I love." Start small, little victories feel great.
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Old 06-09-2010, 09:34 AM   #15  
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I think a lot of it is, is that you don't know what you're missing.

Being thin, fit, trim, sexy, active and IN CONTROL feels better than any of that other food ever could have tasted. But you don't know that now. Please, please, please trust me on this.

I had to use my love of food to my advantage. So, I make sure that every low calorie healthy food that goes into my mouth is delicious. I make FABULOUS salads, with all kinds of add ins - mango, peaches, red onions, grape tomatoes, mandarin oranges - the list is endless. Egg white omlettes? I load them up with heavenly sauteed veggies - spinach, onions, peppers, mushrooms. I partially freeze NF/SF yogurt so that it is thicker and ice cream-ish - top it with 1/4 cup of Fiber One Cereal as my *granola*. Dinners? more yum - Teriyaki salmon or phenomenal chicken stir fries. Chicken marsala with loads of wine, mushrooms and onions. Fabulous tasty thick soups. Wonderful chilis. I eat ENORMOUS amounts of caramelized veggies - string beans, brussel sprouts, broccoli.

And yes - I HAD to give up the sugar/flour-y stuff. THAT is what kept me in that constant state of "gotta have more, just gotta have more, bring it on, give it to me, binge, binge, binge". Cold turkey was the way that I went and it was the BEST decision I have ever made in my life. After a couple of difficult weeks, it was smooth sailing. You've just got to, got to, got to get past the initial TEMPORARY discomfort of "detoxing" from those foods. It had a grip on me and I had to get out from under it. It IS doable. You will be shocked to discover this. I surely was - years later, I still am.

Luckily, you will find, that once you get rid of those foods, the good stuff really, really, really tastes marvelous. I stopped settling for foods that just tasted good. Now they must taste good AND be good FOR ME. And than your tastes CHANGE. If you allow them to.

Give it a chance. So much of this is habit. What we get used to. Give it some time. Push yourself. Push yourself. Push yourself. Stretch. Reach. GRow. Challenge yourself. Raise your standards, require more from yourself. ALLOW these new healthy habits to take hold. And they will - if you let them. And a lot quicker than you think.

You don't have to be fat if you don't want to be. You absolutely don't have to be. You DO have the ability to lose the weight. You ARE capable of it.

END the vicious cycle of the *bad* foods. Let your wants and desires for them dry up. Eliminate them. It's doable. I know this sounds cliche', but if I can do it ANY ONE can. Really.

Stop being enslaved by food and start being invigorated by it. Amaze yourself. There IS a better life out there for you.

One more thing, eating what I wanted, when I wanted, as much as I wanted - didn't provide me with true happiness. I was always left miserable by it. I deserve the comfort WITHOUT the misery. The *pleasure* is just soooo short lived. I now get pleasure ALL DAY LONG and into the night, by walking around if FABULOUS clothes, I get pleasure from being light, small, healthy, fit, trim, active, energetic, confident, loaded with self worth, self discipline and self respect.

Last edited by rockinrobin; 06-09-2010 at 09:52 AM.
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