Oh Glory, you did not have to go and publicize your PM to me, silly girl.
I must say, it sounds to me like you really, REALLY wanted weight loss badly enough. I'm just so thrilled for you that you kept at it and finally hit upon something that you were able to stick with, thus allowing you to lose the weight and then be able to maintain it for so long. And lucky us, we get to benefit from it too with all your sound advice.
And let me just say, that you are indeed one of my (and I'm sure a lot of peoples') very favorite posters, who I think of often. I really do. You not only inspire me daily, but you keep me going and give me much needed confidence. I think that if "Glory can do it, then maybe, just maybe so can I!" I LOVE reading what you have to say, even if every now and then (a rarity) I don't agree with it 100%. Though I will tell you that I definitely see your point here.
I dieted for 20 years, so part of me is just hurt and insulted by the thought you think I (and anyone else like me) just didn't want it badly enough. I can assure you that I DID want it. Maybe it just took me the 20 years to find what worked for me, but it definitely wasn't a lack of wanting and trying.
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Glory, Your feelings aren't unusual in any way. It's hard not to interpret the well-meaning advice of "if you want it, you can do it" as the criticism "if you haven't done it, you must not want it." You've heard it for 20 years, I've heard it for 36.
I think you and I both know how easy it would have been to just stop trying. For me, every diet brought extra weight and a slower metabolism, so after 35 years of trying, I was very afraid to try again. And if I hadn't found a new tool, honestly I'm not sure I would have. My motivation, like my metabolism waned with each unsuccessful attempt. My resources were whittled, bit by bit until I had nearly nothing left.
I know that I have far fewer resources now than I did when I was younger. I had more strength, more stamina, more desire, more energy, and more optimism than I do now. Because I had to go on disability, I also had more financial resources. I easily could have died without ever having found the tools I needed, and it wouldn't have been from lack of trying.
I could write not just a book, but volumes on all of the crazy things I tried to lose weight. I amaze myself that I was able to do some of the things I did to lose weight. I'm no longer willing to go 6 days without eating, and not just because I know that doing so tends to backfire on a person. I'm just grown less tolerant of inflicting pain upon myself.
I think that's why it's so important to start people off with good information and good tools. Too many of us come into this struggle completely ignorant, and the very process of trial and error, errodes our physical and mental (and often financial) resources. Now, I'm sure trial and error will always be a part of this process to a degree, but the faster we can get people the right tools, the easier and earlier that success can be achieved.
If no one ever listened to "bad" dieting advice, I don't think the failure rate would be 95%. But crash diets not only are still common, they are still very popular, despite well-established data that they just don't work. We all know that eating 2500 calories a WEEK is not healthy, but how many of us here have done it? How many people are still doing it?
Far too many of us.
I think in some ways, there's a common attitude that since "you can do it if you really want to," (assumed) that there's really no need for weight loss research. There's no need to understand which types of interventions work the best for various people, and which are most likely to result in blazing failure. After all, if they want it bad enough, they'll figure it out themselves, somehow.
But, I think every single failure increases the likelihood of the next failure, until a person stops trying. It's called learned helplesness, and basically translates to, if a person never succeeds, they stop expecting to succeed.
Puppies that were kept in a box that shocked the puppies feet learn to jump out of the box. But if the walls are too high, eventually you can remove one of the walls and the puppies still never learn to jump out of the box.
People are more sophisticated than puppies, but learned helplessness still plays a role in people's behaviors. "What's the use, I always... (insert any statement of failure here)." It happens, and it does errode motivation.
When factors such as depression and poor self-esteem are added in, or multiple responsibilities and stressors such as caring for a family, health problems, financial problems, job problems, marital problems.... they all eat a person's ability to live their dreams (or even have them).
All of us have limited resources. How limited, varies tremendously. How likely we are to pick the right tools without outside help, that's going to vary a lot too. Could I have lost the weight and maintained the weight loss if I hadn't found the hormonal and carbohydrate connection? You know, I still can't
answer that, because I just don't know.
Are there people on the planet who desire weight loss and are more motivated than I am, and yet are not succeeding? Oh, most definitely yes. Are there people who have died trying? Most definitely, also. Not everyone reaches their goals, and the reasons are many.
Well, first of all, thanks for saving me from being the "wicked witch" today - because I started reading this thread on my lunch and got so sucked in I did absolutely nothing constructive. As a result, my employees did all the work and had enough to keep them busy so I didn't have to send any of them home
This whole idea of "wanting it badly enough" (or not) made me think of one of my pet peeves - people saying "If I can do it, anyone can". Doesn't matter if it's weight loss or making millions flipping houses, it just has always made my hackles go up when people say that. Except now, for the first time in my life, I'm almost starting to get it and I'm catching myself having to make a conscious effort not to use some variation of that same phrase - kind of like when you catch yourself using some phrase on your kids that you SWORE you would never say because it sounded so annoying coming from your mother.
I think that particular phrase bothered me so much mostly because I never quite believed Icould really do it (anything actually). Even when I made myself "scary skinny" in the past, I still never quite believed that it was me who did it or that it was the result of *my* efforts in any way. Of course, I'm certainly a relative newbie to the attitude adjustment that seems to be making things work this time so only time will tell if I'm going to be able to fend off that "you're at goal, you can go off your diet now" voice but, I almost feel as though some sort of switch has been thrown inside my head that has completely changed the way I look at things - like the eye thingy at the optomotrist "is this better or this one" then he flips one lens and suddenly everything is soooo clear - and I just can't see myself going back to the "fat" habits.
So, maybe it boils down more to believing rather than wanting - ok, so Jiminey Cricket is singing in the background and the Blue Fairy is wafting around on the computer screen, but maybe old Jiminey had something there.
I bet we all know people who always seem to end up with the cutest dates, the best jobs, the biggest house, tightest abs, coolest car, whatever they want seems to happen for them. If you take a good look at those people's personality, doesn't it seem like they just assume they deserve all those things? Not that they don't do anything proactive to get it to happen - most of them actually work their tails off educating themselves, making contacts, etc., but they set their minds on something and believe they deserve it and they are able to make it happen. And, it's not a rah-rah, gung-ho type of attitude, it's a much quieter "just the way it is" thing.
Maybe I'm just rehashing Glory's idea of the unhealthy thoughts and low self esteem being responsible for holding us back for so long, but to me, this is a whole different mental state than the "aha" moment that got the ball rolling.
I bet we all know people who always seem to end up with the cutest dates, the best jobs, the biggest house, tightest abs, coolest car, whatever they want seems to happen for them. If you take a good look at those people's personality, doesn't it seem like they just assume they deserve all those things? Not that they don't do anything proactive to get it to happen - most of them actually work their tails off educating themselves, making contacts, etc., but they set their minds on something and believe they deserve it and they are able to make it happen. And, it's not a rah-rah, gung-ho type of attitude, it's a much quieter "just the way it is" thing..........
I agree with you. I also think a lot of what happens to us is on how we look at things. For example my niece and step-daughter went to the same school at the same time, different grades. My sister in law took my niece to school and picked her up....Angie took my step-daughter when her school (she is a teacher) schedule permitted. The routine went about like this....up at 6...leave for school at 7:30....drop off kid...back home until 2:00 then leave to pick up kid....back home at 2:45.....dinner at 5:30-6:00. My sister in law couldn't get anything done on school days..."I can't get anything done...all I do is go back and forth to school picking up daughter, I don't have anytime to prepare dinner before I pick her up and no time after I get back home to cook, dinner is in 2 hours, looks like fast food again." Now Angie looked at it like "Cool, now I have 6 1/2 hours to clean house, walk the dogs, go shopping. laundry and get dinner started. After I pick up the kid I will still have 2 to 3 hours to cook if I need to, and I should have the week-end free!" Same hours...different outlook from the time the alarm clock rang.
I'd just like to thank the members for their truly intelligent, intelligible, provocative input thus far. Truly absorbing.
Well, there are probably ten replies I would really like to make, but I don't want to hog the thread.
Walking2lose (Claire) Your assesment of my posts is far more accurate than I could have explained myself, thank you for that.
I appreciate the input regarding my analogies, but can we get away from the specifics please? They're really not important, and they detract from the point. If you wish, insert your own specifics i.e. "the gunman says you must lose X pounds in X months." Also, to argue whether a doctor would or would not say such a thing is detracting from the point too.
If anyone has problems with my analogies, try creating some of your own, and introduce them to the discussion, that would be interesting. The point being that once the motivation - fuelled by desire - is strong enough, things will happen. Whether you agree with that point is another matter.
The analogy by kaplods of the gunman insisting that you GAIN weight was presented - I think - as a counter argument, but as far as I can see, it serves to support my point - i.e., who wouldn't gain weight in those circumstances? I'm sure we would all find a way, due to the dramatic paradigm shift.
The additional analogy of the legs on the stool confused me somewhat. In that scenario I see desire and motivation as the hobnail boot that is kicking out the legs - not a leg itself.
Robin (Now I know why you are Rockin' !!)
I'd like to pick up on your point that some people who fail at a single operation or project then seem to impute failure on to themselves in its entirety, whereas others will compartmentalize success or failure and keep it ringfenced to the appropriate area. Could this difference be synonymous with the difference between people who agree - and put in to practice - the notion that you can get what you want if you want it bad enough, and those who say that motivation is not enough, other factors have an influence too?
The additional analogy of the legs on the stool confused me somewhat. In that scenario I see desire and motivation as the hobnail boot that is kicking out the legs - not a leg itself.
Robin (Now I know why you are Rockin' !!)
I'd like to pick up on your point that some people who fail at a single operation or project then seem to impute failure on to themselves in its entirety, whereas others will compartmentalize success or failure and keep it ringfenced to the appropriate area. Could this difference be synonymous with the difference between people who agree - and put in to practice - the notion that you can get what you want if you want it bad enough, and those who say that motivation is not enough, other factors have an influence too?
Do you think there is a connection?
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Now, I'm confused. The analogy the professor gave was that you needed a functional stool in order to "support" change. If motivation and desire are kicking out the legs, then motivation and desire would be working AGAINST success and that's not what I was saying, just that motivation is only one component to success.
I disagree about a connection between compartmentalizing success and failure and the belief that motivation is not enough. I've always succeeded at nearly everything I attempted except weight loss. So, I never really felt globally a failure. Although I shouldn't say "never," as I of course had fleeting "poor me, everything in my life sucks" moments, but my overall self-esteem and self-respect have always been pretty much intact. Succeeding in nearly everything I ever attempted, except weight loss, did start me wondering whether my professors were right about motivation not being the only piece of the puzzle. Something about weight loss was different, and in looking at the "multiple components to change" model, I can even indentify many of them.
I've encountered people who have cast me into the role of failure or freak because of my weight, but I never did. I knew THEY were wrong.
Rather, I learned that motivation was not enough. Not just through professors saying so, but seeing it in my own life. Even in the many, many areas that I succeeded and excelled in, there was more than motivation involved.
I was adopted and my parents were told that I was going to be very, very smart (apparently one of my bioparents was a child prodigy or something), and my parents told me they said "how can anyone know that a baby is going to be smart?" and pretty much forgot about the premonition until I began reading before kindergarten. School work was always easy for me, and I never understood why other kids just didn't "get it" the first time. My best friend throughout gradeschool struggled academically. She had to work very hard just to maintain average to slightly above average grades. She put more effort into a lot of her "C's" than I did into most of my "A's". The amount of motivation for each of us was different. I never took notes in class (even in college my notes were horrible except in science classes) because if I understood it, hearing it once was enough for me to remember it forever. Often my version of studying for the lighter subjects (in college as well) was to simple read the chapters the night before a test.
My view on why motivation is not the whole picture, is that I've seen how easily motivation can be misdirected. People who are very motivated to succeed financially (by their definition) focusing their energies into criminal activities rather than legal ones (but them not being good enough at it not to get caught). I once sat down with a guy and showed him that taking into account his prison time, his home burglary "career" was paying him less than minimum wage, when he told me that he couldn't "afford" to take a legal job. For this guy, that was an AHA moment for him. His motivation wasn't working for him, because he was using it to fuel a misguided belief.
In the 70's and early 80's, in my high school, disfunctional anorexic or bulimic eating habits, such as eating a lunch of less than 150 calories, were actually considered "cool." My boyfriend at the time was an insulin dependent type I diabetic (he wasn't fat, but he had been as a little kid and was still self-conscious about it). He would skip lunch and I wouldn't eat all day friday so that we could go out to eat and eat dinner together on our date. I had tons of motivation, but I was channeling it into unhealthy patterns out of ignorance, and that ignorance was costing me dearly in terms of damaging my health and metabolism.
Growing up, I very clearly remember (and believed) that weight loss was simply a matter of motivation. Getting the weight off fast was possible, and that maintaining it was just a matter of will. When you believe both of those things, of course you intend to get the weight off as fast as you can, by any method necessary. Not knowing that crash diets tended to make weight loss MORE difficult, of course those were the methods that everyone tried first. "Sensible, gradual" weight loss was for wimps who didn't think they could do it on their own.
Yeah, that was smart thinkin' but hindsight as they say.... and all that.
Some people learn from their mistakes very easily, others not so much. I always thought I was smarter AND more motivated than the average bear, and yet it took me 36 years to discover and address the hormonal and carb-related part of my problem. The hormonal problem I recognized by age 12, but not just one doctor, but several over my lifetime told me there was nothing I could do about that. The carb issue I believed the common wisdom that low-carb diets were dangerous, unhealthy, and ineffective.
So, more than three decades later, I was still trying to find what worked for me, because I was overlooking what was right under my nose all along (and not for lack of looking). And I think "what do people without MY resources do," and the answer is often they fail.
Motivation is the place to start, but if you don't have anything but motivation, you're going to fail an awful lot before you start succeeding. I'm sure I could eventually figure out how to build a house without help, but if I had to build a house, my first step would not be to start mortaring bricks. I would talk to people who had built houses. I would read books, and I would ask people to help me.
But motivation doesn't make me know that those are steps I should take. If I didn't know that anyone had ever built a house (or if I went to them and asked and they told me all I needed was to want to build a house) or if I didn't know books on the subject existed, or didn't have friends willing or able to help, it could take me an awful long time to build that house, especially if I didn't have easy access to building materials.
I must say that when I use the phrase, "want it badly enough", I don't necessarily equate that as being motivation. I equate that with extreme, extreme, DESIRE. And they're 2 different things in my (abliet tiny) book.
de·sire /dɪˈzaɪər/ Pronunciation Key - noun
–verb (used with object) 1. to wish or long for; crave; want.
2. to express a wish to obtain; ask for; request: The mayor desires your presence at the next meeting.
–noun 3. a longing or craving, as for something that brings satisfaction or enjoyment:
mo·ti·vate /ˈmoʊtəˌveɪt/ [moh-tuh-veyt] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–verb (used with object), -vat·ed, -vat·ing. to provide with a motive or motives; incite; impel.
—Related forms
mo·ti·va·tor, noun
—Synonyms induce, move, provoke, prompt, cause.
Pronunciation[moh-tuh-vey-shuhn]
–noun 1. the act or an instance of motivating.
2. the state or condition of being motivated.
3. something that motivates; inducement; incentive
Regardless of what you think the definition is, IMO, motivation and even desire is not nearly, nearly enough to "get the job done." I never insinuated that it was. Hmmm, maybe I did, I don't even know anymore what I insinuated or didn't. I've been often misunderstood on this thread. Which is understandable, this is the internet afterall. It's hard getting across your true feelings.
I think that when you want it "badly enough", you then make a commitment to do, to find, whatever it takes and in however long and since we're talking weight and hence health here, I mean that "whatever" to be healthy measures, to get you there. And then you just can't "do it". You've got to set yourself up for success. That's where looking into your own particular obstacles (no matter what your "stool legs" may or may not be) and finding a way around them comes into play. Always open to fine tuning of course.
I'll be MIA for a few days. Got my swimsuit(s) and suglasses packed and am headed out for a long weekend. Be well all and have a super duper weekend.
Last edited by rockinrobin; 07-11-2008 at 06:26 AM.
Now, I'm confused. The analogy the professor gave was that you needed a functional stool in order to "support" change. If motivation and desire are kicking out the legs, then motivation and desire would be working AGAINST success and that's not what I was saying, just that motivation is only one component to success.
Desire and motivation create the forward impetus. Part of this process is to eliminate - usually through experience - useless thougts, traits and actions. The hobnail boot removes the legs from 5 or six-legged stool until all that remains is a solid, stable 3-legged stool. That's how I view it anyway.
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I've encountered people who have cast me into the role of failure or freak because of my weight, but I never did. I knew THEY were wrong.
Good for you!
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Rather, I learned that motivation was not enough.
I agree, motivation is fuelled by desire, the question is whether desire is enough.
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People who are very motivated to succeed financially (by their definition) focusing their energies into criminal activities rather than legal ones (but them not being good enough at it not to get caught).
Are you saying that desire to be financial successful leads to criminal activity?
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I once sat down with a guy and showed him that taking into account his prison time, his home burglary "career" was paying him less than minimum wage, when he told me that he couldn't "afford" to take a legal job. For this guy, that was an AHA moment for him. His motivation wasn't working for him, because he was using it to fuel a misguided belief.
Au contraire. His motivation led him to the AHA moment.
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Some people learn from their mistakes very easily, others not so much.
But they do learn - sooner or later.
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Motivation is the place to start, but if you don't have anything but motivation, you're going to fail an awful lot before you start succeeding.
Precisely my point througout the thread. Many people without motivation would stop at any one of those failures and accept failure as the end result, whereas a motivated individual keeps coming back for more, and then each failure becomes merely a lesson to be learned on the path to ultimate success.
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But motivation doesn't make me know that those are steps I should take.
It sure doesn't, but then again I don't think anyone is saying that. If you are motivated you will keep coming back for more after each failure, acquiring knowledge on the way.
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.... it could take me an awful long time to build that house, especially if I didn't have easy access to building materials.
Yes it would, but then the specific goal of building a house would be unrealistic, you can't build a house if there is no chance of obtaining the necessary building materials. There is no point in having goals that cannot actually be achieved, that would be disastrous.
Err... I can't figure out how to 'unbold' the top part of my post. I didn't mean for it to be in bold, so please ignore
Wasn't it Glory who said earlier on this thread that for her (and we all know it is different for everyone) that it was the combination of motivation ANDknowlege that started her on the road to weight loss success? I believe Glory said she tried (had the desire/motivation) for something like 20 years before the KNOWLEDGE kicked in to combine with her desire, and she began to lose in a healthy way.
I know that is still over simplifying the matter and not taking into account many, many things - physiological and emotional issues DO play a role, and I don't mean to discount those factors in any way.
To me this entire discussion could be boiled down to this:
Do you - or do you not - believe that it is possible for every overweight person to lose weight... and ultimately, keep it off?
I believe that it's going to be a very different journey for all of us, but I also believe that we would not be active members of a weight loss SUPPORT forum (Go 3FC!) if we did not believe it to be true.
It's very similar to the premise that I work under every day as a teacher - "EVERY CHILD CAN LEARN." I apologize for throwing another analogy into the mix. I am an optimist by nature, so of course I want to believe it, and I DO. But I am also enough of a realist to know that MANY, many factors go into a child's success in school, and many of them are beyond our control (and I believe this to be true in weight loss too). While one student can breeze by with A's, another may have to work VERY HARD for C's, ALL students DO learn - but they require different methods of teaching, and they learn to different degrees, but YES, they CAN all learn... of course!
As with weight loss, we must focus on controlling the variables that we can control -- and figuring out what those variables are, is perhaps the most important part of the journey. What are those variables??? Are they different for each of us? To some degree, I think they are the same, but to another degree, I believe they are very different.
This has been an interesting discussion, and I apologize if I am oversimplifying. I don't want to discount the many variables that Colleen and Heather have so eloquently put forth for our discussion. I'm going to be very honest and say that I don't feel that I understand those variables well enough to fully understand or even articulate about them, but I know that many factors are connected to weight gain, weight loss, and maintenance. I also realize that as a naturally average sized person for most of my life, and as a person who has only ever been about 20 lbs. overweight, I cannot possibly have the same insights or struggle that others do who have had much more to lose. So, really maybe my whole opinion is coming from a place of ignorance... I don't know! But I appreciate the fact that we have a chance to share our views and learn from one another.
Yes it would, but then the specific goal of building a house would be unrealistic, you can't build a house if there is no chance of obtaining the necessary building materials. There is no point in having goals that cannot actually be achieved, that would be disastrous.
Now hold on a minute. Weren't you the one who just said a bit before this that we should get away from specifics with our analogies? And yet here you are tossing Kaplods' analogy away because it's unrealistic?
My point with your "60 pounds in 6 months or else" analogy is that that goal is unrealistic! That's why the analogy didn't work, in my opinion. You can't have it both ways, AJ--Kaplods' analogy isn't any less valid than yours.
Steady Jay, you're comparing apples and oranges. It's possible to lose weight if you have the desire, because there is nothing stopping you, it is a realistic goal because it is a simple case of eat less energy than you burn. The exact specifics of the goal will vary between individuals, depending on multiple variables.
It's impossible to build a house of you don't have the building materials. It is an unrealitic goal in those circumstances.
Is it truly impossible for some people to lose weight?
I have only myself to base any assumptions on, but I know that I can lose weight quite easily when I try hard enough. Not saying it's 'easy' as such, but I know what to do and how to do it and when I do it - it works.
If I really wanted to, and if I put my mind to it and was prepared to put in the hard work necessary, I could also make my body into a muscle-fest and start running marathons! I don't want to do that - I have absolutely no desire or motivation to go that far, but I have the ability to do so.
So for those people who say they really can't lose weight - the question has to be - why? What are they doing wrong?
So for those people who say they really can't lose weight - the question has to be - why? What are they doing wrong?
I think if you have never lost weight, then you THINK that you really can't. I mean you haven't done it, so therefore it's because you CAN'T. You obiously really, really want to be thin, but you think that it's out of the question for yourself. And just thinking that way, can be very detrimental.
So yup, I always thought that weight loss was just not possible for ME. "I have no control". "My appetite is just too large. It takes too much to satisfy me" "I'm too short, if I were only taller." "I get hungrier quicker then most. I need to eat more often" "I have a slow metabolisim" "I am terrible at sports & I loathe exercise. In fact I'm too heavy to exercise." "I am SUCH an emotional eater, it's all I've never known." "I've been eating for comfort since I'm a kid." "I have too many social obligations." "I have the worst, strongest cravings in the world." "I'm just not capable of sticking to anything for very long." "But I LOVE bread, pizza, rice, cake and ice cream waaay too much". "I can NEVER give up those foods." "TOM is waaaay too hard." "I have too much to lose, so what's the point?" "It's just too hard." "I have no support." I've got kids and a husband at home who don't need to "diet"." "I'm addicted to food." Those were all my reasons for not losing weight. But now when I look at them (hindsight is really something, isn't it?) , they don't seem much like reasons, they seem more like EXCUSES. But at the time, I really, really thought they WERE legitimate reasons.
I did always hold on to the one shred of hope - deep, deep, deep down inside. I knew that there were others who had done it (thanks Oprah and the like for all those weight loss success stories) and I did have in the back of my head that weight loss WAS indeed a doable thing, which is why the feathers and wings analogy really struck me the way it did. Although I did know that it was doable, again, I didn't think it was doable for ME. Until of course I got miserable enough and tired enough, which is of course my experience, everyones' is different. And my way of thinking changed. Weight loss is so much in the mind. Instead of thinking that weight loss was not doable for ME, I started thinking, "Well why NOT me?" But I believe that to be the case because my desire to be thin OUTWEIGHED the desire for the food at this point. So I then devised a plan to combat each and every one of my "reasons/excuses". I was very methodical. But I still don't know if it was "the plan" that worked, or that it didn't matter anymore, and I therefore made the plan work. It's like which came first, the chicken or the egg? But truthfully, I think nothing mattered any more but getting the weight off. Because I wanted to be thin, MORE then I wanted the food. Finally, finally, FINALLY.
Hmmm, that didn't really do much to answer your question, now did it Robsia? But like you said, I've only got me, myself and I that I can speak for. I wonder then, is it truly, truly possible that some people can't lose weight, or is it truly, truly possible that some people can't STICK to something, so hence they can't lose weight? Or is it that they don't stick to something, so hence they don't lose the weight?
Last edited by rockinrobin; 07-13-2008 at 09:30 PM.
I agree with every word of your post, Robin. I truly believed I would never be able to lose weight. I had never in my entire life experienced a normal weight. iw ished and wanted SO MUCH to be thin and never got anywhere. I had a million reasons, but mostly I just couldn't believe it. And like you, I woke up one day and had ENOUGH.
I can't really add much more because you said it so well!
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People who are very motivated to succeed financially (by their definition) focusing their energies into criminal activities rather than legal ones (but them not being good enough at it not to get caught).
Are you saying that desire to be financial successful leads to criminal activity?
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Nope, just saying that the motivation for obtaining money could be channeled into different directions.
For most people crime doesn't pay (at least in my experience - because those REALLY good at it may not be getting caught).
Just like finding fires exciting could lead one to be an arsonist or a fireman.
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Maybe a good deal of the difficulties in the discussion here is on different definitions of desire and motivation, and that's very possible.
As to everyone knowing and having the resource to lose weight. I don't buy it. If I had had the resources when I was younger I would have done it. If I had stacked the bc and followed a low carb diet I know that I would have lost weight and kept it off. I know it because I have always known my enemy, hunger. I just never knew how to control it and prevent it from controlling me.
I had desire when I was younger, and it was often enough a powerful enough weapon to help me win battles with Hunger, but never the war. I had lost most of my desire and most of my hope that it was possible by the time I found the weapons I'm now using, and I think it is reflected in how quickly I am losing. If I ate what I am eating now when I was 20, I would probably be underweight. My metabolism, through aging and dieting is ridiculously low. Twenty, even ten years ago, I would have told you it was impossible for a person my size to eat what I do and not lose weight. What did I know?
After 50 lbs, I'm just starting to get enough hope and desire back to the point that I feel I can trust them again as weapons in my fight.
My concern is that with enough failure, desire and motivation can be easily trampled. I'd like to get to people while their motivation and desire is strongest, because the information part can be easily shared. the desire and motivation, that's up to each of us individually. We've got to get to kids early, before they try their first crash diet. Because I truly believe the crash diet does more to fuel obesity than it does to weight control.
