Lumi -- I hadn't had any men hitting on me, but I have noticed a lot more opening of doors etc. Just a lot more polite and friendly behavior.
Until last week, when I realized that the recent and unusually "friendly" behavior of my 80-year-old neighbor was actually more than just friendly. Why me????
My husband says it must mean I've "still got it," and not to worry because "you can outrun him."
Honestly, I think it is what you put out there at any size.
When I was single and flirty and wearing hot clothes, I got a lot of attention. I also work in a very man-dominated field and was friends with 'the guys'. We all flirted; we all said shocking things and everyone was, um, appreciative of my rack and hot legs.
A year later, when I was seriously involved, I looked the same, wore the same things, but I was not flirting. I was not having the same kinds of conversations with them, and they all knew that there was a line not to cross. Did they still take a second look? Yes, but none of them would have dared disrespect me or my relationship.
I wish I could say that I understand... but I don't. I mean "I DO" understand that some people just don't like attention like that... but..... well, I've always been a vain, flirtatious type - so getting that kind of attention was always a boost to my ego.
Shane, LOL at your response to mine. I have had a woman try to "pick UP" me and DH both. LOL, we both declined the offer. She just said we both seemed like such a "fun, beautiful" couple. I've also had other couples try to pick us both up. But, I don't recall another couple trying to just pick me up. Dang, guess that means they want HIM too. LOL.
I do notice that I get hit on a lot by men much older than me or men half my age. The men my age mostly respect that I'm married and leave me alone. (except DH's friends they are a big group of flirts).
After being obese for many years, I can't say that don't enjoy most of the appraising glances and flirts.
"OH YEAH! I feel ever so much better now that I can dress normal instead of like the circus freak I looked like before!!!"
Honestly!! Some people can be so brainless with their comments!
Oh I have no doubt she wasn't being brainless and this was the shot across my brow that I shouldn't give her a run for the title of "hottest *employee of my type".
But even people who are trying to be positive can be insulting by making too big a deal of things.
Yes,I went through this phase and still do, due to my chest size. I think you really need to cover up, because as much as it sucks, that will just draw their attention MORE AND MORE AND MORE. You can wear a light sweater and cover up when you are getting up to walk around the office, that it what I do, then I take it off when I am facing my cubical. Anyway, I like shirts that are sort of tight, but do not show the actual clevage, then I still feel sexy and yet don't feel exposed like a peice of meat. Just my thoughts. Good luck girl
Oh yes!! Now that I've lost a little weight, my male co-worker is oggling me everyday...and, he touches me in inappropriate places all of the time...and makes suggestive comments about us going to bed!!!! I gotta say, I just love it!
By the way, I work from home with my Hubby. Gotcha, huh?
Last edited by GirlyGirlSebas; 10-09-2007 at 02:48 PM.
I find I am getting more attention from men lately, as well, now that I've lost nearly 80 pounds. They seem more likely to make eye contact, smile, open doors for me, etc. I like it, after feeling invisible to men for so many years.
As for catty comments, I've gotten a few of those at work too. I found a red dress in the Sears catalog that's shaped fit, that I fell in love with as soon as I saw it and can now actually fit into. I was saying to my coworkers one day how I planned on wearing it to our Christmas party to show off my new figure. I was joking, planning on wearing only dress pants and a nice top, because no one at our Christmas parties dress up all that much. All of my coworkers I showed the dress to in the catalog told me to go for it, being the supportive bunch they are (happily). I wasn't going to show the dress to my boss, because she isn't supportive at all, but someone prompted me to show her when she entered the room and I couldn't refuse then. She smirked and said "well!" as if to say, "yeah, right, I'd like to see that!" I was kidding about wearing the dress at first, but my boss's comment made me change my mind; the dress will be in the mail next week. I can't wait to see the look on her face when she sees me in it!
I definitely get more door-holding, but not really looks or flirtation that I've noticed. Then again, my field is only 7% female, so I may have hyper-defensively built a barrier around myself to prevent that sort of thing (I have no problems sassing back a guy who's flirting, and I think that comes off as a bit intimidating. :P)
I'm glad for it, too; I hate that kind of attention (mostly -- there's that small part that was the flat girl growing up and now has something to flaunt; she enjoys it a bit, but the rest of me hates it.) The only "cans" I want people noticing me for are the things that I can accomplish in my job!
...... Last night at Karoke, I had a woman come up and start rubbing my hair and telling me "Oh, you are so beautiful and I noticed you're not with your husband tonite"
Can I watch?
I sometimes feel the catch-22 of wanting to look good and feel sexy, but not wanting the extra attention that comes with it.
But if we (men) don't pay attention you (women) get mad
Quote:
Originally Posted by JayEll
My experience, limited though it may be, is that some men will not stop a behavior until someone tells them to stop. And then they will sneak. Not all men, but some.
ALL MEN!
And, I still don't get it. "My boobs are out but why do they keep staring at them?" uhhhh...
Because they are boobs!
Lilybelle, alcohol can be a terrible thing...
Oh slur, tell slombody that cares.
Jay
Quote:
Originally Posted by NightengaleShane
So, some of us have gotten hit on by both men and women. Count me in, but I always figured it was my hair.
K-SHANE...it could be but I think more than anything it is your "PERSONALITY"...I know many of us are sold on it!...
Quote:
Originally Posted by ennay
...................
He never bothered anyone again.
LOVE IT!
ALL I CAN TELL YOU LADIES IS...IF THEY ARE OUT THERE....WE ARE GONNA LOOK!
If Angie and I are walking towards a cute girl w/wo boobs....as soon as she passes Angie just says "Don't hurt you neck dear."
i dont understand why black guys always hit on me. I can be out -with- my husband, crossing the street and a car full of guys scream "you got a fat @$$"... the first time it happened i flipped them off and yelled because i thought they were making fun of me. i'm never even noticed by white guys, but i guess i don't have a traditional white frat girl body either...it cracks me up.
hepmelly, the reason they hit on you is BECAUSE you HAVE a FAT ***! Be proud of that fat ***! I'm trying to make my *** bigger - infact, there is a whole thread in the maintainers forum called "butt exercises" and I'm following it religiously. Shake what ya momma gave ya!! And frat boys usually only like a certain type of girl. Not just body wise, but style wise and behavior wise, too. I've gotten hit on countless times by emo/punk/rock men, black men, creepy old white men, strange hippie men, HOMELESS MEN (I kid you not), but since living here, I have only gotten hit on by a frat boy type once. Rednecks rarely hit on me, either. They'll stare and stare, but I'm not the prim 'n proper traditional southern gal that they're a'huntin' for. Some people just have a "type" that transcends body and face physicality and/or go for what society expects them to go for.
Black men love curvy women. And they usually love curvy women who are properly proportioned, even if thick.
Gary, @ your responses. You know, even though I'm a woman and all, I still find it amusing and paradoxical that we get mad at men who check us out and stare at our bodies, yet if we get no attention, we're just sad and hurt. As I said before, I don't mind guys undressing me with their eyes - if I'm wearing tight clothing, I'm not going to blame 'em for it! I'm putting it out there! I just hate being stared at all wide-eyed for crazy amounts of time... there is just a point where looking becomes staring which becomes flat out gawking. And I've only told a man to stop gawking at me maybe...five times in my entire life? I just don't want to be mean or rude. Of course, the gawking is just as rude as me saying STOP IT, but I'm usually one of those "too nice" types of people.
