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Old 03-04-2011, 05:16 PM   #1  
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Default :( I can't stop crying!!!!

I am just needing to vent... I had a rough day yesterday having to defend my food choices to my aunt who is visiting. I can't stand the basics (it's so predictable), "where do you get your calcium, protein etc." However, I know it's a good learning opportunity for them, so I go into detail about kale, quinoa, sesame seeds, etc... anyway...

I am just feeling quite overwhelmed. Not by my aunt, she pretty much ended the conversation by saying, "Well you're a smart girl and you will figure it out." It was annoying, but whatever...

Anyway, I guess I am writing because I'm just so sad!!!! I have cried a few times over the past couple of days due to dreams I have had or in general, just the way most people eat and don't think about what they say...

In fact, I started crying during yoga today and couldn't stop. I got home, put my yoga clothes in the laundry and thought I was good. Then, I started making my lunch (kale, onions, garlic and garbanzo beans topped with tomato!) and while eating it, LOVING the taste and nutrients, etc... I started crying again!!!! THinking, "what is wrong with this food? Why don't other people eat food anymore?!?!?!?"

So there I am, sobbing over my sauteed kale... Then I pulled it together, treated myself to a sf popsicle and then one of my cats came running downstairs and was crawling all over me, and then I started with the waterworks AGAIN!!!!!

Now I am thinking, "how can people love and miss their pets and not care what they feed them or where they are coming from or see that their cats/dogs/hamsters/horses/bunies/whatever have feelings?!?!? likes!?!?!? Dislikes?!?!?! I love my cat (kuma) and while she isn't going off to Harvard anytime soon, or even going to learn to drive a car, she has DEFINITE likes and dislikes, noises/talking, behaviors and patterns!

Why are people so disconnected?!?!?!?!??

Now, I do know the answers to these, and I don't like it. It's just that some days I can accept people are in the dark, like living in the dark and let's face it, are really really really brainwashed. But, today... TODAY I just want to b*tch and moan about it...

As I write this, crying and sighing, Kuma is licking my face! So that makes me happy...

Okay, enough. I'm sorry, I'm just so overwhelmed by the amount of people that don't care. Not specifically even about animals, or what they eat... but care in general. Care to be the best they can be. Care to give away what they don't need. Care to lend a helping hand. Care to understand that all people are created equally. Care to understand things other than themselves, if they even know who they are... Let's get over this xenophobia together!


Thanks lovelies... I already know you will make me feel better, just by being able to post this. So thanks. Namaste.
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Old 03-04-2011, 05:37 PM   #2  
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Woah girl- you feeling okay? That seems like random stuff to start crying about out of the blue!

Are you feeling depressed? Maybe if these thoughts start getting in the way of your daily life you might want to see someone.

*hugs* Take care and have a good weekend!
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Old 03-04-2011, 05:48 PM   #3  
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I can strongly relate to every single one of those thoughts and it's true.. it gets overwhelming(and very depressing) to think about it sometimes. Sometimes I think the best we can do is to live our lives to the greatest extent of compassion, caring, and understanding that we can, and that we would like to see in other people, and hope that some of that rubs off on the others around us and sets off a chain reaction. Maybe that's a comforting thought... Of the positive change we can bring by our own meaningful actions.
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Old 03-04-2011, 05:57 PM   #4  
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Honey, from reading your post I think you sound really depressed. Your opinions about life are totally reasonable but being that tearful is a sign that something is amiss. I am speaking as a person who has gone through this . . .
Please consider asking the opinion of a medical provider if extreme tearfulness doesn't stop. Just my two cents.
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Old 03-04-2011, 05:59 PM   #5  
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It's normal when you discover something new to start wondering why everyone else hasn't discovered it as well. But you will quickly find that expending all of that energy will exhaust and defeat you.

Focus on yourself, start a "We Love Kale" facebook group, and tell you aunt that you just want to eat in peace and would prefer not to discuss your eating habits.

Then link us to the We Love Kale group so we can join!
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Old 03-04-2011, 06:21 PM   #6  
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i get much..i get so upset or worried over something so much that i have to disconnect myself from it completely..its the only way i can deal

my dog has multiple personalities her name is alice..but we have several nicknames ally..and then ally ooppers..and sometimes just ooppers and she went through a period a couple of years ago where she wouldn't even look at you if you called her alice, only responded to ooppers... after that she went back to alice again..she is also very ocd if there is food outside of her dish, she will eat that, even if she doesn't eat whats in the dish, just the bite or two on the floor..and in her dish she will only eat in one corner at a time..and usually she will only let me let her outside, my sister tried last week, i ended up with a 40 pound cow on my lap very quick...she is very odd and quirky...which i guess doesn't have much to do with your post except for the animal personality/feelings...and really all of our animals have very distinct personalities we have 3 dogs, an aquatic turtle, and 2 birds
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Old 03-04-2011, 10:19 PM   #7  
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You guys are all sweet and cute... and a bit funny too! I appreciate all your kind words.

I can assure you I'm not depressed, just tired of having to watch people be so disgusting! I guess my words did come out in a manner that would have you guess I'm depressed without knowing me. In fact, it's quite the opposite- But appreciate your concern, so thanks.

I have been working on opening my heart chakra a lot in Ustrasana and that is just what makes me cry as of lately... If any of you do Bikram, then you know how normal this is over a wide range of emotions and is in fact encouraged.

I have a feeling a lot of the crying has to do with my TTOM and also the amount of time I have been spending with facts, books, research articles and various videos (MYM, Earthlings, I am An Animal, etc) as I am helping out a friend with her research an helping a different friend's daughter organize a Veggie Club at school.

There is so much information out there and yet, some people don't care. I just hope for a better world ... and of course lead by example. Hence, becoming a Somatic Transpersonal Psychologist and studying yoga.

Anyway, It's just sad to me people are willing to be so disconnected from themselves and the planet.

Oh and I have since stopped crying since my second yoga session and also some cardio. Go figure.

Animal personalities are so beloved. I wish there was a farm sanctuary here in AZ, but I hope to make a field trip to the CA one sometime this semester!
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