Have to say I'm pretty glad the house is free of naughty foods.
Its day 58, and its quite hard. Almost 2 months. Today is 9 months sober too.
My husband has gone away on a buisness trip, and this is the first time I've been on my own down here. I've been home alone back where we used to live, but I had friends and people around if I needed them.
I just feel really alone. Hes only been gone 11 hours, don't know what to do with myself for the remaining 95 hours.
Nothing seems to take my mind off it. All I can think about is how much it hurts to be alone.
Sorry for whinging, just wanted to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening.
I can fully understand. I was a wreck when I had to be away from mine for a whole month. I found it hard to find stuff to do, because we always did everything together. So even making dinner was a chore for me.
I do feel alone here now when he's gone. I too recently moved, and I'm about to move with him again, and I have been here since Feb and still have no friends, and all of my Family are in the USA.
Its hard, and I have found the best way to get past it, is to just get over it. I will watch tv or play a video game, read a book, anything to get my mind off of my missing other half.
I believe in you! you can get over this! I think you should go to Blockbuster and rent lots of your fav movies----and enjoy a nice low-cal popcorn! and maybe some delicious cool crystal light! that's what I do when I'm alone--- OR I go to the library and get TONS of romance novels---they make the time fly!
Awwwwww how cute!! I love Beauty and the Beast! I also looooooove taking a nice hot bubble bath and relaxing a few times during the week hehe. Glad you're feeling better!!
Oh boy, I have DEFINITELY been where you are - and you've already had some good advice... why not plan two things for every day he's away? That usually works for me - and stops boredom eating!
Movies are a great idea - plus books. And writing I also do things ahead -like plan gifts for upcoming birthdays, make cards, clean the house - whatever it takes to keep me busy, but relaxed.
I hope you find some really nice things to do for yourself which you don't normally indulge in when he's home.
Things I don't normally do when my boyfriend's home and love:
- watch a really silly romantic movie
- read a book without the tv droning on in the background
- listen to the music I love, even if it's cheesy like The Carpenters
- walk around the house with no clothes on (I LOVE this one!)
- lie on the floor instead of sitting in a chair, without having to face the usual quizzical looks
- eat meals that consist only of vegetables (I love vegetables) and lots of garlic
- eat when I feel hungry, without having to wait for him to come home
- spend a whole hour in the bathroom shaving and plucking and applying body oils
- take up the whole bed and all the covers
I think after a day or two you'll start to see the upsides, not just the downsides
I understand as well. I was just recently moved to working opposite nights that my husband does. So when I'm working, he is off and vice-versa. I only work 3 nights a week, I work 1-14 hr and 2-13 hr shifts so that means I have 4 nights off and we only have one car so he takes it work with him. Not that I want to go anywhere alone. lol. But I could if wanted too, just would have to take him to work and pick him up.
Anywho, the first night to myself I just completely broke down and cried.
It took a while for me to get "Adjusted" but now I feel better. I realized that its not how much time you spend together, its the quality of the time you do spend together. Also it makes us appreciate one another more and to communicate in different ways, making our marriage even stronger.
As for me I of course go online, play Sims (computer game), watch movies and here lately I've been watching my little house that my DH bought me the entire series on DVD so I watch that while he is working because it isn't his favorite show, its mine. lol. I also get caught up on household chores (fun) lol and stuff like that.
You could also: Volunteer, join a community group, or a gym even or take a fitness class and meet some new friends, not sure if you work or can work, but maybe get a part time job, have a girls night out, have a slumber party, read, write, paint, whatever hobby you enjoy doing but maybe don't have time for when your DH is around, etc, etc. Only a few ideas.
I do know how you feel about being alone and feeling like crying when your loved one is gone. I have been with my BF for over a year and a half, and have lived with him for the past year, and if there was ever a night I didn't see him I felt alone and felt like crying. We bought a house together in February, and I'm used to spending almost all of free time with him. He has gone out several times on weekends for the entire to play golf or ride his motorcycle, and it was hard at first when he was gone - I felt like I didn't know what to do with myself when he was gone. I have made myself keep busy when he is gone so I don't feel so sad and alone - try cleaning the house (not fun, but will keep your mind off things), reading a book, or one thing I love to do when alone - watch those movies that you wouldn't force on your husband like the romance movies or whatever you love to watch that is girly. That makes the time seem special because you are doing something you can enjoy by yourself and it makes the time go faster.
Learning to be with ourselves is hard. In the past we used food or alcohol to distract us from our feelings and our thoughts. Now, we have to sit with them. What a great time to pull out the OA workbook and a journal and write about what you're feeling.
Now is also a good time to ask for God's help. You can spend some time in quiet meditation and prayer.
This feeling of loneliness will pass, you will grow from this experience, and you will come out the other side stronger. :-)
I was feeling very alone, but with the comfort from my friends here, I felt less alone.
As I've hidden my emotions with food for so long, when I experience a strong emotion it feels really overwhelming. Its good in a way really, just a bit different!
I've done a lot of thinking, and my sadness has easied a little. I've rented a big stack of movies and have got some books to read. I've also bought some new computer games to keep me amused. I'm trying to look at this time alone in a positive way - its giving me a chance to catch up on 'me' things. The house is spotless too!
Glad you were able to vent. Expressing how we feel, is sometimes all we need.
Sounds like you're doing great, no junk food in the house (this is HUGE for me-I like to say my house is abstinent when I'm having a hard time being abstinent), your house is spotless (love that feeling!), you've got your movies and your computer games. Have fun! I'm jealous!
I do know that overwhelming feeling well. Just in the past few months I'm learning that I have a real sense of urgency when I have feelings that are overwhelming. At 39 years old, I can finally see that the feelings always blow over and I'm usually just fine. Before OA I used to sabotage myself even more because in the midst of the feelings I felt like I had to DO something about them so I would binge or act out or whatever and then I REALLY would have a situation on my hands instead of just some yucky feelings to deal with.
Since this is something I obviously didn't learn as a kid, I'm now trying to teach my 10 yr old son to recognize how to feel things and know that it's always going to blow over and you'll always be fine no matter what comes your way.
The OA saying "This too shall pass" goes through my mind several times a day.
My DH is off to the Middle East with the military in October. For at least 6 months. YIKES!!! This won't be the first time we've been separated - the last time was when he was moved to a different city (I couldn't move to be with him) and we lived for three years seeing each other on weekends and holidays. That BIT.
SO, I can relate to how you feel.
Best advice? Pamper yourself in a non-food, non-destructive way. If you are in a 12-step type program, go as often as you need to firm up your support network. Get out of the house and interact with people, either through your religious community or through volunteer work or through continuing education courses in your town. And keep in touch with people as much as possible. Don't become isolated, because often misery is magnified by solitude.
Hang in there!
Can't stop crying :(
Stay strong!!!
Smile 
Big Hugs
