So the tears finally came. Today. I am doing so badly now. It all started with a simple conspiratorial wink from him followed by a quiet "Day 5 today!"

I felt so bad. I've cheated. I couldn't do it. I was depressed and NEEDED my carbs. When he looked at me with that boyish smile and real excitement, I felt like just melting.

The tears came fast and furious. I can't believe how much I've held back. I promised myself one last cry and then never to think about him again but I've cried the whole day and still going strong. In fact, I'm even crying as I type this.

I feel so worthless and unlovable right now.

Hey Sugarfree. Don't kick yourself too much. We all have times like that! Just get back with it tomorrow. You are not worthless or unlovable either!!! So chin up, dry those tears and tomorrow will be a better day. *hugs* -Paula

Is this your boyfriend, a crush?

Weight loss is a slow process, they are ups and downs, good days and bad days. You are 5 days in, you are not a failure. Are you trying to do too much too fast, are you insistent on absolute perfection? Ease into this life change, make little changes everyday. I sure didn't start off chopping fresh fruit into fat free plain yogurt, I started with a little container of Yoplait. Baby steps.

What is wrong with carbs? I eat carbs EVERY day. I choose complex carbohydrates (whole wheat bread/pita/tortillas/pasta, sweet potatoes, beans, quinoa, oatmeal, fruit) that don't spike my sugar cravings.

Eat carbs! They're not the devil people say they are (for most people). I've lost 89 pounds since July without even THINKing about how many carbs I was eating.

Plus, you're 5 days in. Give yourself time to adjust.

I agree with the others ... I eat carbs too, but I count calories. Deprivation diets (sugar busters, atkins, etc.) are not the answer for all. For some, it's setting yourself up for failure because you can't have certain foods, so if you do, you feel like a failure. Have you ever considered counting calories on fitday.com or something similar? You could stick to a healthy range of calories -- 1500 maybe? See if you lose with that?

Dear SugarFree,

The time will come when you realize that no matter how bad/happy/desperate/miserable/excited you feel, you don't have to eat because of it. In the meantime, move beyond it. You didn't ruin everything with one mess-up. Ruining everything would be if you allowed one mess-up to turn into days of overeating. So don't do that! Move beyond it and get back on your track... You can do it!

Jay

FORGIVE YOURSELF then move on to better things!

Oh, sweetie,

Do not waste your tears!!!!! I felt so bad reading your posts that I went back and found your other posts about this wretched fool of a professor!!!!

You do not need someone like him in your life!!!! Let him struggle on his own!!! Mr High and Mighty can look to his peers for help!!!!! YOU, have us!!!!

Tomorrow morning, remember you promised yourself it was the last time you would cry over him!!! It will be a brand new day and a fresh start!!!!!

ibbasquish

I eat more carbs than fat or protein..And it has worked so far..I just count my calories and it seems to be working just fine!! Don't stress! We all feel hopeless sometimes and need a little pick me up.

I am cutting carbs, and it's working wonders for me, but they're still not the "enemy." Eating out of stress, or loneliness, or boredom, or heck just because it was sitting there and looked so yummy doesn't change who you are (and who you are is definitely not worthless or unloveable).

It's ONLY food. I know, I know we all are here because we want and need to lose weight, but we still have to keep it in perspective. Mistakes aren't failures, they're stumbles. When you fall, you've only failed if you don't pick yourself up and keep going.

You said you "needed" your carbs, and that isn't too far from the truth. Carbs have a built in mood-boosting effect on serotonin. They don't call them comfort foods for nothin' So don't beat yourself up for "self-medicating," just learn about yourself and move on.

A lot of people disagree with me, but I say take the word "cheating" out of your vocabulary. Every choice you make is generally what "seemed like a good idea at the time." If you realize that it wasn't afterward, then pat yourself on the back for the wisdom you've gained, have a plan for the next time the situation arises and move on.

Atkins isn't the only low carb plan out there, either. Even if you tweak it just enough to make it YOUR plan.... I don't know, add one serving of something that Atkins doesn't allow, and call your plan the "I'm Wonderful Plan" (and tell people that's the plan you're on, if you have the guts). There, now HE isn't on the I'm Wonderful Plan, so it no longer reminds you of him. Problem solved.

Ok, it's not that easy, but I hope I've at least given you a chuckle. You are a great person and one brownie, or some potatoes or heck an entire birthday cake doesn't change that. Don't you let it!

Eh-hem....just have to pipe in here. Sugar Busters is SO not a deprivation diet. Atkins, yes... On Atkins, I got nothing but constipated and felt like crap. But with SB, I lost 25 pounds in about six months. With SB, you are getting rid of high glycemic stuff like white potatoes and white flour and ADDED sugar. Things that aren't great for you, anyway. Right off the top, you are eating whole grains, fruit, veggies, protien...it brings you right back to the basics of smart, healthy eating. I just had whole wheat toast with peanut butter with my coffee for breakfast. How is that depriving? Sugar Busters gets a bad wrap because people confuse it with low-carb, but its not. Its very satisfying and very healthy for you. Just my two cents...carry on with your conversation...

If you're having a hard time cutting carbs, then you need to reassess your overall diet. Try calorie counting rather than carb counting. Like Glory said, when you do eat your carbs, make sure they are from good sources. Make sure your overall fat intake isn't too high (fats from good sources is okay, but lay off the butter on your bread). Get enough or more than enough protein and fiber--both will help you feel fuller for a longer time. Obviously the diet you chose isn't the right one for you. Experiment and try something new--don't give up! Good luck to you.

It's only depriving if you wanted something else and couldn't eat it. I love whole wheat toast with peanut butter, but if I want Frosted Cheerios instead, I can have them. I guess that's the difference. Obviously I know the added sugar in Frosted Cheerios isn't good for me, but I can still lose weight eating them as long as my overall calorie intake is where it's supposed to be. I think that's the only point some of us were making. If you can eliminate added sugars, wonderful. If you can reduce it, which I have, great. If you have trouble eliminating it, it doesn't mean you can't lose weight. So many people hear about these diets where you cut out sugar or drastically reduce carbs and think that they HAVE to or they won't lose weight. Some of us just don't want people to believe that because it is NOT TRUE. I think we all understand sugar's not great for you, right? But I'd rather have a bit of it and still lose weight than try to stick to a plan that will make me feel deprived. It's all about finding a plan that works for us, so for those of us who don't want to cut carbs, we don't have to, which is great!

Given the situation, I don't think this is about the food plan at all. This is about feeling lousy and using food for comfort and then beating yourself up about it. That can happen on any food plan.

That definitely happens on any food plan, unfortunately. The difference, maybe, is that on some food plans you'll believe you "cheated" and on others you'll just fit your little splurge into your calories for the day or make up for it some other way. I couldn't stick to a plan that didn't allow that sort of thing as PART OF THE PLAN. I commend people who can, but I'm successful without it so far, so I always like to spread the word that it's possible, in case other people feel like they have no options. We all do what works, after all, but sometimes people have it in their heads that low-carb or no-sugar is the only thing that does work, so when they DO slip and turn to something that's unhealthy, they may feel like they've completely blown it, which makes them feel even worse. I just hate to see that happen when it's usually totally unnecessary.