I just wanted to let you know I was around but I am also heading out the door to try and get something productive done today. Ran yesterday for 45 minutes but no exercise today. I have to go grocery shopping and get some other things done so I don't think I have time to bike. I can't enjoy exercise when I am rushed and anxious.
I did want to tell you that I went out last night and BF called while I was out. He invited me to his house when I got home - so of course I went. I got home today at about 1:30pm (no beach) and it was a nice surprise to be able to spend some time with him - granted we were sleeping through some of it but it was still nice to be with him. I'm not saying things were perfect or I am completely at ease with the situation (far from it), but he told me he loved me last night and that he just hasn't been telling me because he was feeling pressured. I don't know from where but that will be for the next talk (not at 2am). I told him I was afraid of the future and he assured me that the relationship has a future, at least a tomorrow because life holds no guarantees. I just wanted to share.
Jessica - I am glad you are having a peaceful weekend and I hope it continues. mette - I hope you enjoy being outside. Did you go for your hike?
I'll write more later hopefully regarding your past posts. I'm just having a hard time focusing right now.
Hi everybody. No weight-loss for me this week, but at least I’m up in calories. The last two weeks I’ve been averaging close to 1500 again. I think I’ve been more hungry the last week, which is a bit weird because it’s been really hot – and normally I don’t want to eat as much when I’m warm. But this week I’ve wanted to eat constantly. It could have something to do with increasing my exercise, and specifically the weightlifting. What do you guys think? Increase the protein?
Last week I averaged on 97 grams of protein a day (which is very good – I went back and looked at my first weeks in May and I ate about 76-79 grams a day). I’m still not up to 30%protein – that would be 113 grams a day. So maybe I should just continue to increase, huh? Adding a fruit/protein powder shake at night would probably be enough. (Oh no! Now I have to go into some body builder store, be stupid and ask embarrassing questions! Great! Just great!) Heh.
Ang – how superb that you ran for 45 minutes on Saturday! I’m so impressed by you! How long have you been running? Is it something you’ve always done?
It’s also good to hear that you had a nice time with the BF. And how sweet that he told you he loves you!
It’s great to hear, and maybe you feel a bit more relaxed about him too?
And yes, I did go for a hike – I went early in the morning, before the weather got too hot. It was nice, but still a bit too hot though. It was wonderful to come home, take off all my clothes, sit on the sofa and drink cold drinks!
Hmmm...this week is starting just like the rest. It is noon already and I have barely gotten any work done. In some ways I like that the time flies by, but hopefully this afternoon I will actually be able to concentrate on the article I need to edit. Have I ever mentioned that I hate writing, but my job depends on it.
Jessica - I hope work is less stressful for you this week. I think taking a vacation is a great idea. Hopefully you will be able to rejuvenate yourself and just enjoy some time for yourself. I was going to wait until October to take a vacation but am thinking that I am going to plan a day off this month and fill it with fun stuff just for me. btw - I read your blog and I think that addressing issues that are looming is a good idea. You never know what things could be lingering in the back of your mind and causing additional stress and problems in your life. Do you think your 'friend' will agree to see you and talk about your falling out?
mette - I also watch the show "What not to wear". I love any type of makeover show and really like watching this show when the person is 'like me' in body type so I can get some tips. I have no fashion sense so I need all the help I can get. Now I know some things to look for in clothes and just need to get my butt out the door and be willing to spend some money. I desperately need new jeans and when the weather gets cold I'm sure I'll need other stuff. I did buy new shoes for my night out on Saturday. They are strappy with 3" heels. Quite difficult to walk in but I wanted something a little 'sexy' adn these seemed to fit the bill. My clothes fit on Saturday and my friends said I looked 'hot' so I actually wasn't doing too badly with self image that night. I think that I tend to feel better when I put in the effort to do my makeup and where nice clothes. I just don't get much of an opportunity to do it (don't bother for work).
Jessica - I agree with you about being honest with ourselves. I am trying to work on this with myself. If nothing else, it sometimes reduces the stress about the guilt because I have no one else to blame for my behavior. If I make the choice and am honest about it then I have to accept the 'consequences'. Ihave also been trying to be more in touch with my feelings about food. It doesn't always help, but a little at a time.
mette - I'm so glad that although the scale did not show a loss for you this week that you are seeing the positive things that you have accomplished. I think you are doing great. Your calorie intake sounds good. How are you figuring out how many grams of protein you need? Your amounts seem high to me. I don't think there is anything wrong with having two protein bars in one day, but I would also think that if you could get your protein from other sources (1 bar a day) it would probably be more beneficial to you and give you some variety and other nutrients. Weightlifting and exercising can definitely make you more hungry. I read recently (running group) that a lot of people who run have trouble losing weight because they get hungry and then over eat. If you can hold out your body should get 'used to it' and you shouldn't feel quite so hungry. I think a small snack would be appropriate though. Is there a certain time during the day that you are getting hungry when you didn't before? Remember that weightlifting burns more calories all day and requires more energy.
mette- I am happy that I ran Saturday. Thanks for being kind but there is nothing that I do that should impress. I didn't exercise yesterday because my day didn't start until 1:30pm and shopping was a must. Hopefully tonight I'll run. I started running two years ago and then stopped for about 8 months between last August (moved) and this April. I never ran before that because it always hurt. This last time I bought the right shoes and had a plan (walk/run combo) and it worked out. btw - did you know that you burn about 100 calories per mile walked or run? It is a good incentive for me to try and up my per week mileage. My ultimately goal is 20-25 mpw. Right now I am lucky if I get 10-15 mpw.
mette - I'm so glad you had a good time on your hike. It is so sweet when you are done with something like that. I actually feel like I have really accomplished something and being outdoors is just awesome. Do you hike in the woods? Were you by yourself?
Jessica - how are you doing today?
Renne - it's interesting that we tend to post at the same time and then you just sneek yours right in ahead of me.
I envy you getting to spend time with the horses. I am sure they help you maintain your weight. Congratulations on that! Awesome that you got out and ran. I won't pretend to know what could be happening with your calves (is pain or just discomfort?), but I will say that you need to be careful at the beginning and watch the time when you run. You may have just pushed yourself - sometimes it is hard to tell at the time, especially at the beginning of the workout. Did you stretch well? I think 13 minutes is great. The routine is just a suggested starting place. You modify it as needed until you can do the whole routine. Don't discount the fact that you did it and you were out there for 13 minutes. Suggestion, would you be able to just walk the rest of the 20 minutes?
I'm sorry to hear about your new stress. I went through that once and it is not a good thing and there is nothing you can do but wait. It sounds like you don't have anything to worry about I'll keep good thoughts for you. Keep us updated. I think your plan for lunch sounds great (eating and napping). It sounds like your body could use a little rejuvenation. Somehow you need to give it a little TLC. Hopefully things will be less stressful soon. Hang in there.
Happy Monday (or at least as good as Mondays get )
Renee – I just have to second what Ang said: it sounds wonderful to spend time with horses. Do you ride a lot?
I have nothing to say about the pain in your legs – you did just get new shoes too, didn’t you? I had a knee that ached a bit when I jogged, but with new shoes it’s thankfully all gone away. But great work on the jogging anyway.
Ang – I agree with Renee: to run for 45 minutes *is* impressive! I know I couldn’t do it. It’s also great to hear that it was the right shoes and a good plan that made you able to do it and enjoy it. I think that once I’m more settled into the new gym routine – I’ll look more closely at my jogging. I’m sure there’s a lot of potential for improvement in how I do things.
And yes - it’s really good for burning those calories too!!!
Yes – what I like about ‘what not to wear’ is that women with different body-types/taste/personality/age also end up with different type of clothes. I think it’s the reason I like it – I hate the shows where everybody looks alike after the makeover.
And I agree that it can be educational to watch other women with the same body-type as me – I know now that my straight jeans are the best for me, I should go for V-necks, I should go for jackets that make the illusion that I have a waist, etc etc. It’s actually useful knowledge.
How wonderful that you looked and felt “hot” on Saturday, Ang! Building self-esteem girl!
My protein is based on what Krista writes about weightlifting and how to add muscles and lose fat. She suggests a balance of 40%carbs, 30%fat and 30%protein. Since I’m eating 1500 calories – 30% is 450 calories – protein is 4 calories a gram – so I should be eating 113 grams protein a day.
I think it’s a high level too – but I thought I would give it a try. To see how it affects my progress and exercising. It seems like it’s about keeping the good balance: protein with every meal, eat a lot of the good stuff: cheese, cottage cheese, eggs and egg whites, tuna, salmon, lentils and soy beans. I suppose I can do that.
Yes, I’m definitely hungrier. I graze more – it’s like I’m hungry again soon after meals. And I didn’t use to be hungry in the evenings. But I’ll try to hold out – how long will it last before it stabilizes – do you know, Ang?
I mostly hike in the mountains and hills – I’m fonder of mountain views and open spaces than trees and forests. And I usually go alone – usually I start off too early in the day to get anybody to go with me!
I don’t know how this happened, but I seldom sleep longer than 7 in the mornings these days. By 8:30 I’m more than ready to go hiking – and nobody else I know is! Heh.
In other news – I went to the gym today and did my first combination set: squats, bench press, one arm dumbbell row + stomach. I still get a kick out of squats and bench press – just because they’re so “weightlifty”! Heh.
Now I know how you feel when I don't post for a day - I hope Jessica is alright.
mette - if you decide to 'look into your running' please let me know. Talking about running is fun and usually motivates me to run more. Unfortunately I did not make it tonight to run. I had an appointment after work that upset me and I just couldn't do anything good afterwards. Thanks to both of you for being impressed with my 45 minutes. I guess it amazes me too that once you get into running you can lengthen your time quite easily (within reason) if you don't go too fast. One of these days I'll get back to a schedule. When I first started running I went every day before school. Having a good schedule is the only way to go.
mette - thanks for explaining about the protein amounts. I wonder where the numbers that I heard came from. I was told at least 50g of protein. What a difference between the two numbers! I would guess that I get closer to 75g a day. I eat a protein bar usually now which has 25g and since I eat meat it adds up more quickly. I don't know if you know, but used to be a vegetarian and would love it if you shared ideas for protein snacks and meal options (besides just beans and tofu). Like you I am trying to keep my protein up and limit carbs as best as possible.
I think the hunger can last a week to three weeks. If you are really hungry find a low cal snack for the evening, just enough so you're not uncomfortable but not enough to make you full before bed. Maybe some cheese or a yogurt or some nuts. Yesterday I went to bed feeling a little hungry and actually liked it.
Great job with the gym. You are my role model. I wish we lived close so we could lift together. I hate to admit that I haven't started lifting. I think for me to succeed I need a lot more structure in my life - something I was never very good at. You go girl, you're doing awesome.
Renee - how did your day go? Did you go through with your lunch plans? I have to laugh because you just did it again and posted as I was writing. Congratulations on the exercise. Your dinner sounds great too. Since you are bringing leftovers for lunch you are on your way to having a good eating day tomorrow. Try to eat something at home for breakfast to start your day off right. Still crossing fingers that the test will stay negative.
I'm sure you're all in bed by now. I had another "manic Monday" ha ha... Got up at 7 a.m., which left me no time to check in before work. And once I got there, well, I was in constant motion all day. Having other people out on vacation is really stressing me out, because the amount of people and work doesn't decrease, it just gets shuffled to the rest of us. Anyway, it was draining, and on top of the work that came in today, I had a load of stuff left over from last week. I hate when I do that to myself!
Thank you for worrying about me! It feels good to be missed.
The positive news for today is that I packed my gym bag at lunch and went straight there after work. I did 20 minutes of pretty intense cardio and some stretching. I came home in a much better mood than I would have if I'd not gone, I know that much. Anyway, it helped me see the benefits of exercise in stress reduction... now that's just one more positive reason that I can keep on my list!
Mike is back out to sea tomorrow for about three days (he's never quite sure exactly how long he'll be gone) so I'm solo for the week again. I'm going to be happy when August is over and his work slows down. I don't like having him gone so much.
And the best news of the day yet... I've got all next week off from work!!!! Wooohoooo!!!!! I'm going to try to plan out my days ahead of time so I don't feel like I've squandered my time. I have some ideas for things I'd like to spend time doing, so I'll start writing them down and daydreaming about my vacation!
Ang: Yes, 45 minutes running is VERY cool! You really are doing great and I'm so glad you felt good about yourself when you went out on the town. It's hard sometimes, but when I take care to do my hair and makeup and wear nice clothes, I generally do feel more confident and sexier than when I just slum in my normal clothes. It's definitely good to do once in awhile.
And my friend that I wrote about in my blog... we've been best friends for like 6 years, both went through divorces at the same time, partied together, lived in the same apartment complex, went through a lot together. In the last year to year and a half, though, she's made some really bad choices, got fired from more than one job, and eventually moved back in with her parents (she'll be 31 in November). She tends bar at night and last I heard was taking classes during the day at community college. I'm not one who judges, so none of that is so important to me, but the thing that started making me turn away from her was the fact that she was choosing to spend time with people who drank all the time, stole things from her, and weren't truly her friend, where she had me, who really cared about her, and she spent less and less time with me and treated me like I wasn't very important. Back in May we were supposed to go on a weekend trip with some other girlfriends, and my 19 year old cat (yes, that's like 100 in cat years) that used to belong to my grandparents got really sick and I thought she was going to die, so I wasn't able to go on the trip. When they got back, I got no phone call, not even to tell me how the weekend was or to ask how the cat was doing. Nothing. So, I just never called her. A month or two later, I got one of those mushy Hallmark cards telling me how much she missed me and how special a friend I am, blah blah blah. And I still haven't contacted her. I know I'm being passive-aggressive, but I also know that she is a bit self-destructive and brings some drama into my life that I don't need. But she was such a good friend, and I guess I just need some closure on that one. One of the things I want to do with my time off is get together with her and talk about what happened. I think I need that taken care of. Sorry to ramble so much there, but it has been on my mind and you guys are such a good, unbiased audience, maybe you can give me some advice?
mette: as usual, you are doing wonderful! I'm glad you are enjoying the weightlifting so far. The fact that you actually do squats WITH weight??! I think I'm still using a wooden stick because squats are so hard! I'm pretty uncoordinated, so just keeping my balance is a feat in itself. I'm with Ang, I don't think there's anything wrong with 2 protein bars. Maybe try a protein shake in place of one of them to mix it up a bit?
Renee: Oh dear... I've been in that situation before and know how stressful the waiting can be. I also think you probably don't have anything to worry about, but I will think good thoughts for you and hope all turns out well! I'm sure you'll be just fine, and can use this as one of life's little lessons to learn from. I know I've learned a lot!
Well, I guess that's all my time for tonight. Hopefully I'll get my butt out of bed a little earlier tomorrow and check in. Sleep tight everyone!
Just wanted to say good morning to you all! I feel really good this morning and am keeping my thoughts positive about work today. Amazing how the reality of having a week off will change your perspective about the day! I plan on doing the gym again right after work, and since I don't have anyone waiting for me tonight I will be able to work out at my leasure. I'll keep you all posted. Have a great day all!
Renee – I really envy you that you get to spend time with the horses, it sounds like a really nice time. I live in a very small apartment (just one room plus a tiny kitchen and a tiny bath) in the middle of town – I can’t have animals here. And I miss it. It’s so good to hear there are places that take care of the wounded and mistreated animals – and people like you that volunteer their time to work there! Great going Renee!
And yey! for the exercise! And hope the tests continue to be negative too.
Ang – I did go jogging this morning, and there’s still major huffing and puffing going on. I’ve been thinking that maybe when winter comes I can start jogging on treadmills in the gym – it would make it easier to follow an “improvement plan” with alternating walking/slow jogging/fast jogging. We’ll talk more about it later this fall, OK? I would love to pick your brain – so to speak – about it.
To run every morning before school is very impressive – but wasn’t it too much?
About the protein – I suppose the numbers from Krista’s website are high because she talks from the weightlifter perspective. It would be different on other programs.
And I didn’t know you used to be a vegetarian! Why did you stop? Did you feel it was too limiting?
Protein snacks – I’m very fond of cottage cheese – so I like crackers with lots of cottage cheese and a little fruit or jelly on top. I also like cottage cheese in salad. And I eat Lanaii’s pancake a lot - http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=42517 – it also includes cottage cheese. Cottage cheese and banana in a bowl is also very good as snack.
Second: eggs. I like omelets, and make them with several egg whites and one whole egg, plus cheese (another great source for protein) and vegetables (tomatoes!). Egg whites also in the pancake (which I’ve been eating for lunch a lot lately – with lots of fresh fruit and berries – yummy!).
And cheese – low fat. Lots of protein there too. Warm cheese sandwich with peppers and tomato and mustard. Cheese in salads. Cheese in omelets. Cheese on bread. Cheese on crackers.
I also eat fish – and tuna (in salads with lots of pickles, or on bread with lots of tomatoes – and always a lot of pepper) is a great protein source. Also salmon – which I prefer smoked and on bread or crackers. Shrimps are full of protein and can be eaten with everything. I try to be a bit adventurous with fish when I cook – but I’m really not a great cook! (Not like Jessica). Thankfully I like really simple food – so I do OK. Heh.
Oatmeal also. Plus beans. I’ve never cooked tofu – I have no idea what I should have done with it.
And Jessica is back! Yey! And great going at the gym – it sounds wonderful that you went. And next week off job – it’s your turn to have nice long, lazy days! It’s well deserved!
Hope it works out with your friend too – that would be a nice thing either way – closure or renewed friendship. Have you contacted her yet or are you waiting until next week?
And – heh – yes I do squats with 45lbs! I’m actually a little proud of it – because I don’t have very strong legs. And I’m just lifting the bar – but still!
And good morning Jessica! Glad to hear you’re in a good mood: think positive thoughts and good luck going to the gym.
So. Tuesday today. My semester starts tomorrow with a meeting at the university clinic. I’m going to start up with a new patient this semester too – so hopefully there are interesting things ahead.
For the weekend I will go visit my father – and his wife and my two twin half-brothers – so I’m not online Friday through Sunday. I’ll go early Friday morning and come back late Sunday, I think. Not especially looking forward to it – but there’ll hopefully be some good stuff happening too.
Not much to report. Nice weather still – so I’m mostly staying outdoors drinking diet coke! Have a nice Tuesday everybody.
It's almost 3 a.m. here so I'll keep this one real short. My day and evening didn't go as planned. After I got to work I began experiencing abdominal pain in my lower right hip area that continued all day. Since that's where the appendix is, I was a little worried about it, so I went to the urgent care after work. After sticking me 7 times trying to draw blood and turning me into a human pin cushion, they finally got it and ran blood tests. My white cell count was elevated, so they sent me to the ER for a CT scan of my belly, thinking it might be appendicitis. Roughly six hours later (!), the results came back and my appendix, the little dickens, is fine. The doc thinks I might have a ruptured ovarian cyst, which would cause the pain and the elevated cell count. It's been a really long night. I'm glad I didn't have to have surgery, and I'm also glad it was SOMETHING, not just gas pain or something because that would have been embarrassing! Since I'm not dying, I'll have to go to work in the morning. Now I'm REALLY looking forward to my vacation. I'll talk with you guys more tomorrow. I need some SLEEP!
Jessica! So glad that you’re OK! What a terrible day and night you had! Hope you got some sleep and rest – at least you got to sleep in a little I hope? Did they give you something for the pain?
And yes, I bet your vacation is looking better by the minute. You must be completely exhausted!
Renee – I’m just starting on the 30-30-40 plan – and I’m having problems eating enough protein. I thought I would be able to eat more protein bars – but I really haven’t found any I like when I eat more than one of them. After the third or fourth bar (not in the same day of course) they all start to taste artificial and strange (and yucky).
I have to look into powder I think. If I can start off the day with 40-50 grams protein in a shake/smoothie, I should be able to get enough of the stuff.
I have no idea yet whether I will feel better or become stronger. So far I’m more hungry than I’ve ever been.
Good to hear the test at the clinic also came back negative! Good for you.
I’ve sort of had my first day back at school today – just a couple of hours. Then I went to the gym and did lower body.
I think I have to actually *work* on my confidence – it’s doesn’t happen automatically. Set stupid goals like: actually dare to ask the guy using the squat rack (or whatever that thing is called – it’s the thing where the bars are kept) whether he’ll be finished soon, whether I could use the rack too, and just use another bar. Instead I shy away and just wait until nobody is near the thing.
I do feel a bit stupid sometimes, or at least I did today – and it’s not the most productive emotion because it makes me beat up on myself mentally. It’s strange - which emotions make you want to eat. Feeling stupid usually does it for me.
Not that I overate – well, not much I suppose, not calorie-wise, but I don't feel satisfied either.
Ah well. Enough complaints. Glad to hear Jessica is OK! And hopefully free of pain. And that Renee’s tests still are negative. And where is Ang today?
Hi there. This may seem strange but I really didn't realize how long it had been since I posted. Work is just crazy these days so no time during the day. I should be sleeping now but you all are too important.
There was so much going on so hitting the highlights.
Jessica - great that you exercised the other day but your experience at the hospital sounds terrible. I had an ovarian cyst once and it was really painful. Are you feeling better? I think doing some planning for your vacation could be a good thing but don't over plan. Allow yourself some time to relax and be flexible so you really enjoy the week off. You deserve it, particularly after your stressful weeks at work.
Renee - I hope you had loads of fun tonight. What sorts of things were you doing? I can relate to not having motivation to try when you feel low. The problem is that you need to do something to pull yourself out of the mood. I think it is great that you drove by McD yesterday. The fact that you splurged after going to the clinic is not a big deal. You are going through something very stressful. Yea that the test was negative - btw. Is there one very little thing in your life (eating or exercising or something healthy) that you could try and concentrate on changing? Sometimes it helps me to focus on one little manageable thing and then if I can be successful at that it helps motivate me to go to another little thing and so on. Make it little and relatively easy to accomplish. Baby steps.
mette - Good job running. I look forward to talking with you more about running later on. I ran today at lunch for 40 minutes. It is pretty hilly around work and it was humid so not the most pleasant run but I am so glad that I went. I did not go to my track workout last night (got a call from an old friend and just didn't have the heart to tell her to call back) so I was determined to get out there today. When I ran before school it never bothered me, like an injury or anything. I did not run as much, 30-45 minutes at my max, and I wore good shoes. I also didn't always run very hard and some days I did intervals. I think mixing it up helped keep me healthy. There was a time when I was pretty dedicated to the running and had a good schedule. It took me a long time to get it though but it did help me lose weight. So I guess I just need to find a new schedule here. As much of a pain as it is, I think I need to pick two days a week to run at work at lunch, no matter what. This will be even more important when the weather gets bad. If I don't make it part of my schedule then there is a better than not chance that I won't do it. You run before work and that is great - I can't seem to get up to run before work. I am thinking running on M and W might work. I'll let you know if I do it next week.
mette - You are right that your behavior won't change or your confidence build without you putting in some effort. Can you pick one thing at a time and consciously try to work on it? Maybe next time you can make yourself talk to one man in the room. Ask him whatever you want - to share bar, weights, move his stuff, anything. It's too easy to just sit back. I know you can do it. You have come this far, this is just the next step. You belong in that gym just as much as they do. Respect yourself and they'll respect you back. Good luck.
I was a vegetarian for about 5 years. I moved to a place where they didn't have many veggies so it was hard to find accommodating restaurants and such. Since I don't cook much I need to be able to get a lot of food 'prepared' and I got sick of trying to figure out how to cook beans. I also got involved with someone who was not a vegetarian. Long story short, it was a lot easier to just eat meat. I didn't start eating almost anything until I met current bf though. I was eating chicken only basically for years. The new bf is a chef though and I trust him to introduce me to good things. When he cooks for me I eat it and it is usually good. When we go out to eat I let him recommend something or try his stuff - again, usually good. I don't cook meat at home though and unfortunately don't like cottage cheese. I do like eggs though and need to remember to buy them. I eat cheese and try to get lf varieties when possible. Thanks for all of the suggestions though - I'll have to add them to my shopping list.
mette - I hope you have a better than anticipated visit this weekend. We will miss you. Any particular reason why you think you won't have a good time?
I was invited to a cousins cookout this Sunday at my brother's house but don't think I am going to go. It is 4 hours of driving and a lot of money for gas to spend with people I don't really know (except my brother and sister-in-law) and don't really care to know. All of my cousins on my father's side are married with kids so I don't fit in. I don't want to answer a lot of questions about the last 2 years of my life and then try to explain the bf situation. I think I'm going to bail and just go visit with my brother sometime by myself. Is that selfish? Also, there is so much to do here and I would just rather be at my house. The veggies have really come in and we are starting to make some money. The tomatoes are starting to fill up our table and things will only get busier. It is so fun. btw - Did I mention that I had a talk (not everything but enough for now) with bf and we hashed some stuff out. He finally assured me (completely sober) that he loved me. He has been super sweet this past week and we already have plans for the weekend. I hope things keep up this pace and only get better. He said he felt pressured and stressed and that was why he hadn't been telling me earlier. OK, so there are still some issues but I am happy with things right now and willing to see what time brings to this relationship. I think he realized that he almost lost me this past week and he doesn't want that at all. If nothing else, I am not obsessing about him now so I have been able to concentrate on myself a little. Eating not too bad. I have been doing the cereal for breakfast, an 11am snack, lunch is fruit and sandwich, and controlled dinner with lots of fresh veggies! I have also implemented a protein bar at 4 or 5pm and it has worked wonders in keeping my hunger down so I don't run into the house eating everything in site. I am eating the cookies 'n cream Advant Edge bars. They are the Body for Life brand.
Sorry for babbling so much about myself in this post. Jessica - I hope you are feeling better today. Renee - how did today go for you? mette - tell us more about what you are doing at school and this patient?
Hey ladies! I would have checked in earlier but work pulled a loop on me. They shut down my internet (Which I use to send and receive confirmations and find other data) because they claim I spend all day 'chatting' on it. Yes, I chat and check websites - just like all the other employees. I also get more work done than they do and am the first person on the phone que line- which I just found out. It's rather irritating, as I am covering all the calls/orders from the lady who is out, that I should also be the first person on the call tree. It'd be more fair for the calls to ring through to whomever was off the phone for the longest amount of time. They are going to look into changing that. So they ganked my access to 'test productivity' without my having 'a distraction'. Gah, I really think a big job move is in my future.
Just yesterday they told me that I cannot have my vacation days that I have planned for my cruise because I dont have enough left. I am given 10. I've used 2.5 and have asked for 8. (Big deal, 1/2 day over) What they did, was take away my vacation time for the days I was sick that went over the 'five alotted sick days' we get. I used 7... so therefore I am now 2.5 overdrawn. OMG. They even threatened me by saying, "You can either accept that's how it is, or we can fire you." (So, I am taking my time off at the end of this month - my sanity break, and then going on my cruise. If they'd rather fire me and pay unemployment for however long that lasts, instead of missing me for two days (I even suggested they give it to me unpaid and they refused) then so be it. Maybe that'll be the big sign that I need, the famous 'pushed from the nest' move.
Ok sorry heh, end rant there.
Food and diet have slipped A LOT!!! Good news is, that the diet I had wanted to try (South Beach) but figured out that it just wouldn't work with my limited access to the kitchen.... Wweeeelll. My diabetic brother in law, (Who has more sweets in this house than my sister or I do combined) went to his doctor who said "Lose weight or die." (He has put weight on every year since being diagnosed with diabetes, it's just not good.) Then the doctor said, "I'd recommend the South Beach Diet." Sooo my sister is going to do it. She's gonna cook it. All I have to do is, help cook, help supply recipes (I already told her about this website - which, grr, if she joins, I gotta hide those posts about my previous worries, she thinks I am uh, a little saint??) HAHAHAHA. And I think I can pull it off. We are gonna start it AFTER my dad leaves town, because it will be too hard to monitor what we are doing and enjoy his time here with being so strict. But, I am really excited about it!!
I am heading skating on Friday night. And horseback riding on Sat. So I have a weekend full of fun and active things planned. Tomorrow, I think I am going to drag--- scratch that. Going to happily trot myself to the gym after work. There, positive thinking.
To bed for me now though, and hopefully I will have net access tomorrow at work!!
I am feeling much better, thank you for everyone's thoughts and wishes... I'm very tired, even though I did sleep in this morning and only worked 6 hours today. The end of tomorrow can not come fast enough for me, I'll tell you that much. I didn't eat anything today, and then had my first real non-authorized splurge tonight. I went to the ATM to get cash and realized I had left my card at the hospital when I paid my co-pay, so I ended up at the place I wanted to be at the least- back at the ER! There's a Foster's Freeze down the street from the hospital (I actually worked there for 2 years in high school) and I went there to get dinner. When I overeat, I sure to it right! Of course the funny thing is that I probably was still around the same amount of calories today as my good days, I just ate a bunch of junk. I wanted it, I enjoyed it, and I know why I felt the need to have it. Tomorrow is a new day.
Ang: I'm so glad things are going well and there seems to be more communication between you and the bf. I hope you guys enjoy your weekend together! I was a vegitarian too, but not for nearly as long as you were. It helped me with my weight loss for the same reasons it frustrated you- I really couldn't find anything to eat out, so I was forced to prepare my own meals. Now I guess I have the best of both worlds. It's really nice to have you back; it's not the same around here without ya!
Mette: I think you should do what Ang suggested and pick one time to open up and assert yourself at the gym. Just asking to share a piece of equipment would be a great step for you. I haven't yet worked out in the "real" weight room, since I just did cardio on Monday, but I do intend to get lots of gym time in next week, so I will make an effort to branch out. I'll let you know how it goes. Congrats on starting the new semester, too. You'll have to share what you're learning with us! And we certainly will miss you this weekend. Hope it goes ok.
Renee: Maybe your work situation will push you to find something new. It's definitely no fun being stuck in a job where you're unhappy. I complain about mine alot, but it's not the work I don't like, it just gets very busy and stresses me out. In fact today I had a client tell me that I have "a great attitude and demeanor to work in a place like this." But I think sometimes, I'm too nice and try too hard, that's why it gets me so stressed. I am very happy to not be in a sales department; I've done that before and really disliked it. I hope you find something that makes you happy.
Anyway, I need to get to bed. I still don't feel fully recovered and I'm starting to feel like I'm getting a cold too, so I know I need more rest. What a wuss I am! Have a good night all!
Ang – very good to hear about your lunch time run yesterday. I think success depends on getting these things into our schedules too.
When you do the same exercise often, I’m sure you’re right that it helps to mix it up a bit. Maybe I should think a little about that for my jogging – I’m starting to get bored with no progress – so maybe I should try intervals for a couple of mornings.
Me being avoidant at the gym – it would be a good goal to just talk to somebody there. But I have to have a reason – I’m not going to invent something or ask for help on things I don’t need help on (not the way to get respect I’m guessing). What I need is to become aware of how avoidant I am in the situation, and then recognize it when it’s happening the next time. It *is* easier to just sit back. So next time I’ll try not to do that.
And Ang - I can understand you got sick of beans if most of your meals were based on beans. I don’t eat it very often – I don’t really like it that much either. As far as I’ve found, soy beans and lentils are the ones highest in protein (but the soy beans are also high in fat) – so I think I’ll have to look into ways I can eat those. Soy beans – are they used in salads? Stews? Casseroles? Anybody know?
I haven’t eaten meat for more than 5 years now – and it hasn’t been very difficult either. Probably because I still eat fish and seafood.
Heh. Getting yourself a BF who is a cook was probably not the smartest thing to do when you’re trying to lose weight! But I must say – it does sound wonderful to be introduced to new and exciting food on a regular basis!
Visiting your brother by yourself sometimes sounds like a good idea to me. I don’t think it’s selfish at all – you should spend your time with people you like – that’s my golden rule. My parents are two of my exceptions to the rule (oy!), but cousins are not included in the whole ‘family-responsibility-thing’ for me. I just don’t feel the ties to my family very strongly, and we’ve never been a particular close family.
I don’t much like visiting either of my parents actually. But because they *do* fall in under the whole ‘family-responsibility-thing’, I *do* visit them. Not often, and I always keep it as short as possible – but I do go. Once a year is more than enough for me – and it’s a compromise I can live with.
I always feel guilty about it btw – I feel like the worst daughter ever, etc – since I don’t like visiting either of them.
But that’s just how things are too, I suppose. I always have to try to minimize stress and guilt when I go there.
I’m so glad you’re enjoying your vegetables Ang! And that you and the BF are having a better time! The stress levels are coming down in your private life at least? Great to hear the eating is going better too.
Renee – work doesn’t sound like a good place for you recently. Maybe looking around for other jobs would be a good thing to start focusing on. And ranting is always OK (and welcomed) here!
Sorry to hear about your BIL – hope he’ll do better once you all start focusing on healthy eating. The three of you getting back on the diet, and supporting each other, sounds very good. I’m sure you’ll do great! When does your father leave?
Jessica – hope you get through today at work. About the splurge – you’re really having a great attitude about it – and you’re right: it’s 'bygones'. Concentrate on today.
Looking forward to hear your experiences at the gym too Jessica, although you’re probably not so intimidated by the gym since you used to work out a lot?
I went out jogging this morning – since it’s Thursday, and I do that on Thursdays. Then, since tomorrow is Friday and I should be at the gym but won’t be – I went to the gym today instead. And did upper body. So even if I’m not getting any exercise done tomorrow or Saturday – at least I’m on plan with the gym.
I’m not expecting a weight loss when I go on the scale on Monday – I’ve been so hungry this week, and I have eaten max every day. And going away this weekend will probably mean extra food too. We’ll see Monday morning, but I’m not holding my breath.
Have a nice Thursday everybody!
Renee - Your job really sounds terrible. No internet? Yikes! Are you in a position where you could look for a new job? It definitely sound like this job is causing you a lot of unneeded stress. When does your father leave? This arrangement with your sister sounds great. You'll get help and support. I take it you live with your sister and brother-in-law. I'm really excited for you. It is so much easier to accomplish things when you have support. On-line is great but in person is so much better. Is there anyone else in the house? If not, then with all of you doing the same diet you should be able to really control what foods are in the house. Keep us posted.
Your weekend plans sounds great. I wish I could go horseback riding. Well, I guess I could but not going to happen right now. Are you going skating at a rink or something? Inline or ice? Good luck getting to the gym. Let us know if you go.
Jessica - so glad that you are feeling better. No worries with the eating. Sometimes there are more important things to deal with then being choosy about what food you eat. It's done so just move on and get all better. I know you'll be right back on track. Thanks for the kind words. I hope this weekend goes well. I will do my best to check in but while I am at bf's house there is no internet. Keep your fingers crossed for me that we have truly made progress and that we have any awesome weekend. btw - you are definitely not a wuss. You need a little time to recover from your trauma and just to recover from the stresses in your life. Give yourself permission to relax and enjoy the extra sleep.
Jessica and mette - why did you become vegetarians? Jessica - why did you give it up? You are lucky that you are a good cook so you can make whatever you want, with meat or without. I didn't eat fish or anything when I was a veggie. I even read labels to make sure there were NO animal ingredients. mette - I am actually a much better eater when I hang out more with bf. He cooks well balanced and relatively healthy meals. Over the winter I would eat with him 3 or 4 evening a week and always felt so much better. If only I hadn't ate crap the other days. I was also not exercising then. If he cooked for me all the time I would be much more satisfied and would probably eat less, eat better and lose weight. That's not going to happen anytime soon so I'll just enjoy the evenings he does cook. I love eating real home cooked stuff, especially not by myself.
I don't know anything about actually eating soy beans. I only know about having soy in things or eating tofu made with soy beans. You may want to try tofun. It is good in a stir fry if you have a sauce so it can absorb the taste. I actually bbq it a couple of times. I still eat very little meat so I am always looking for protein ideas that aren't meat. I do have a bunch of canned beans though that are just sitting in my cabinet because my mother bought them for me and I'm not sure what to do with them.
mette - I have noticed lately too that I can't measure if I am making any progress with my running. Sometimes I think I am getting worse. Tonight I ran 40 minutes while at the farm. I have done the route before and extended it but today my legs said no more. I think it is recommended to do an interval day once a week or once every two weeks if you are not running too often. Both of us will have to look at what we're doing, maybe September?, and maybe help each other with a plan. I know one thing I am doing is signing up for a couple of 5k races. It is a good goal and a chance to get official times to see if any progress has been made.
I would definitely agree mette that you don't want to fabricate anything at the gym. I just meant that it doesn't matter what you say to them, the important part is to make the effort to talk to someone. As you said, just be aware of situations that you shy away from and make that conscious effort to talk. You may be surprised at how nice the people are. At worst, you meet a couple of jerks and just write them off and move on.
I definitely decided not to go see family on Sunday. I agree totally with mette. I'm sorry mette that you don't get along better with your parents. At least once a year isn't too bad. Let us know how the weekend went.
Congratulations and kudos to mette for going jogging and going to the gym today. You are doing great with the weights. I need to find some of your dedication. I think right now it is hard enough for me to get a schedule for running though. One things at a time. Good foryou though. Maybe you could get in some walking while you are gone.
I definitely think eating better is easier when the bf thing is better. I'll take advantage while I can. I have been eating fresh veggies almost every night. I at an eggplant today (plus some little tomatoes picked off of the plant) and have a tomato for lunch tomorrow. Yum. I figure that I can eat all I want since they are veggies. Right?
mette - you are doing wonderfully even if the scale doesn't move on Monday. It sounds like your body is really starting to burn fuel, making you extra hungry. There is nothing wrong with being at the top of your range. Remember that muscle weighs more and when you start exercising/lifting sometimes your body retains extra water in the muscles for the first couple of weeks making weight loss difficult. Also, don't worry about eating this weekend. I ahve faith that you will make good choices and probably won't eat nearly as badly as you fear. It is more important that you enjoy the weekend and don't stress too much.
Recap for me today - I am posting food again for my sake and if you have comments I would love to hear them as I am no expert on food.
Breakfast - cereal with blueberries (no nuts these days)
Lunch - chicken salad sandwich with piece of cheese on hard roll, tortellini salad (food provided by work - couldn't pass up a free lunch) and an extra roll
snack - protein bar
dinner - tomatoes, eggplant (small thin kind),Linda McCartney frozen dinner (Thai noodles with fake chicken), pecans (10 halves?)
Ang
P.S. I just looked at my post - I'll try to shorten them in the future. My fingers just get going and I can't stop them.
Awesome that you got out and ran. I won't pretend to know what could be happening with your calves (is pain or just discomfort?), but I will say that you need to be careful at the beginning and watch the time when you run. You may have just pushed yourself - sometimes it is hard to tell at the time, especially at the beginning of the workout. Did you stretch well? I think 13 minutes is great. The routine is just a suggested starting place. You modify it as needed until you can do the whole routine. Don't discount the fact that you did it and you were out there for 13 minutes. Suggestion, would you be able to just walk the rest of the 20 minutes? 
Thanks to both of you for being impressed with my 45 minutes. I guess it amazes me too that once you get into running you can lengthen your time quite easily (within reason) if you don't go too fast. One of these days I'll get back to a schedule. When I first started running I went every day before school. Having a good schedule is the only way to go.
Your dinner sounds great too. Since you are bringing leftovers for lunch you are on your way to having a good eating day tomorrow. Try to eat something at home for breakfast to start your day off right. Still crossing fingers that the test will stay negative.
