Jen -- your very own fitness zone, so cool

Rhonda, You don't have to give up eating forever, silly girl. You can definitely find ways to fit the things you love into an overall healthy lifestyle.

Hey dudes,
I did not go into work today (today is dept. meeting/lectures only) bc I worked on Sunday and muffin men were not happy with me. I have 2 hours to get my hellhole of a house somewhat turned around.

wish me luck.... it's a bad scene over here..... and I tend to procrastinate on 3fc.....

buh by!!

Nope. The agreement was 28 days, so there you have it. Meara actually went to sleep with him, so I had her bed all to myself.


She doesn't seize every morning, but the possibility always is there. If she did have one each day, then I could just say, "Chris, it is your turn to manage the seizure today; I am going to the gym." It is the uncertainty that makes it hard to plan around.

I have on my workout clothes. I have chosen not to take Mucous Girl to the Children's Museum today. 1) they are switching exhibits, so nothing new and interesting. 2) I want to get the house back in shape and knit and/or read all day. 3) I thought about the gym, but I will just do the treadmill here.

I listened to the Bob Greene podcast. He said if you are not running, minimum incline on the treadmill should be 2. So, I am committing, here and now to 45 minutes on the treadmill at a 2.5 incline and 4.8 MPH walking.

Also, biting the bullet. I am going to get up and go to the gym tomorrow. Pray that it is empty and that I have a joyful experience that makes me want to go each morning.

Is is May yet?

I'm at one of those times when my I'm questioning my committment. I love to eat and I love to eat at restaurants, but I also want to be healthy and feel good. As a maintainer, how does this work? I've always heard that maintenance is the same as weight loss. You still have to keep track of the calories, keep them low, and exercise like crazy. Has anything changed for you since you reached maintenance? Of course, you get tons of exercise, but what does your calorie intake look like? How often can you go "off-plan" and still maintain?

I'm kind of in mourning for food and my freedom. I know this is a choice we all have to make, but I'm wondering how strict of a choice it's going to have to be for permanence.

Maintenance looks and feels and smells just like weight loss. However I have strayed much farther from plan more in maintenance than I ever did during active loss. I'm sure that's why I haven't lost any more weight -- technically I don't like to consider myself in maintenance because I need to lose a bit more, but according to the scale I haven been in de facto maintenance for months now.

So while I have strayed and been more liberal in general, I've NEVER returned to the full-on binge eating I used to do. Never. I think of binge eating as the equivalent of injecting heroin -- dangerous in the extreme. And I know where that road leads and I don't want to take even a single step down it. When my behavior begins to even stray at all towards that direction I take major steps to correct it -- like the peanut butter ban currently in effect at my house.

But while on vacation I've probably had days that were double (at least) my normal calorie intake (usually between 1300 - 1600) and I enjoyed every minute of it. My weight would bounce up a few pounds and then I'd be very strict (and I've never stopped exercising) and the weight would come back down. It is much easier to lose a few pounds than it is to lose 70.

So I'm learning that yes, I can occasionally have meals where I don't worry about calories or healthiness and just eat them for enjoyment's sake. The key is "occasionally". Very occasionally. The rest of the time I must remain vigilant. I feel like it is a good balance and certainly worth the effort for the health benefits!

Do you feel FREE? Really? Surely freedom feels better than you feel when you say you don't feel good about yourself. I think if you were really free you'd be alot happier!

I think you want to feel free to run those 5 milers you used to run. And to wear a slinky dress and feel like a sexy momma! That's freedom. Freedom from self-consciousness and self-doubt and recrimination and frustration!

Lunch was iceberg lettuce with maybe 1/2 oz each of red peppers, yellow peppers, carrots and tomatoes, 3 water chestnuts and two peanuts with olive oil and vinegar. Also served with a confused look when as I told waiter I didn't care for the chicken, no I understand it comes with the salad I just don't want it.

emergency cashews have already been devoured

Rhonda- being fat is in no way freeing. Knowing that I've consumed enough calories to keep my body running but not to overstuff it and knowing that I can run 3 miles is liberating beyond belief. I'd rather count calories from here to eternity then to stay fat. It's not like you can't EVER have a high calorie day- just can't every day. To me that makes going out or having a huge meal at home on occasion even more special.

Jo and Heather - Thank you for helping me to get my thinking back on track. You're correct. I am not free right now and I'm not happy with my body. I temporarily lost sight of those facts.

I am totally without motivation to get on the treadmill.

Anna *whine whine whine* just get on the damn treadmill.

at 1:45 for one episode of Heroes.

I am done.

Whoo hooo! One sweaty hot mamma in the house.

Meara: Are you all stink?
Me: Yep.
Meara: Can I take a shower with you?
Me: Not right now.
Meara: DON'T forget me.

<3 she's a cutie


I have, for the record, eaten my dinner now also. This is WHY I hate not being able to plan where and what I'm having for lunch. I try not to bring up the vegan thing at work but this is getting old. I do not eat iceberg lettuce for lunch people.
Great now I'm cranky also.