all yoga here is between 10 and 20 dollars a class, i have been meaning to get back into it.... i was going to cancel my gym membership but maybe i'll warm back into the yoga thing by doing some body balance classes and get my 'moneys worth' out of the gym membership again kinda....

gotta go and fix my hair, i have a red bit that fades all the time and i have 2 tupperware parties this weekend and tupperchick really should try and look her best....... or at least not have a weird orangey fadey bit in her hair.....
but it is freezing here so the last thing i want to do is get all cold again as i have just gotten back from jem's swimming lessons where the water is nice and hot and then the place is nice and muggy (nice?) and then you walk outside and it is freezing......

ok my aim for today..................... sell lots of tupperware.............. dont eat too much dinner............................ that'll do........... maybe drink more water..................... i just had a good breakfast that will last me til way after lunch time so i wont eat too much for lunch........................

Gen I'm worried about you. You're sounding to me as though you need to take those meds more than ever - just to get you back on an even keel. Don't underestimate the impact of making such a big lifestyle change; it's going to affect the balance of every element of your life.

Is being in the US what you really want, and what you really need right now? My suggestion is that you take those meds every day for a month, and see if it helps with how you're feeling.

Come on… you deserve to live the dream, not sleep through it :hug:.

I've had a reasonably good week. I was well on track until yesterday when I ate everything that wasn't nailed down - so I have probably blown any chance of losing weight this week. It was one of those days where I ate breakfast at 5.30am, and then from 6.30 - 8.30am did the hardest physical work imaginable. I dragged several heavy pallets out to the front of the store, and set up the nursery. By 9am I was starving. And all my food choices were wrong and excessive! Oh well - I'll put it down to a bad day and just move on.

I'm off to help a friend mulch her garden today, so hopefully I will work off some of the excess.

hey hey
i was actually thinking the same thing about you gen..... but i dont understand the med thing and am 'struggling' with that at the moment myself, i am not taking mine everyday and this is the most important time i guess the beginning of treatment..... and when i forget to take them i worry about how it will affect everything......

me yesterday - i kinda stuck to my goals......... i sold HEAPS of tupperware (1200!!! which is about 350 in MY pocket) and then i ate a good lunch BUT then i had pizza for dinner benji wanted pizza to 'celebrate' my earnings yesterday and so i thought why not and had my usual which was probably not what i needed........... tonight WILL be better and i am doing some temp work the next couple of days so wont be able to blow it during the day at work so we will see what wednesday weigh in brings

I agree with the others Gen, not a good idea to stop taking your medication and especially without your doctor knowing about it.

Congrats on your tupperware sales Kel, sounds like it's going well.

I had a good weekend. Went over my daily allowance by 6 points on Saturday :( At least I managed to write everything I ate down all weekend which is something I often forget to do in the weekend.

Yesterday I was right on track and was under my daily allowance by 2 points. Went to hot yoga in the morning and absolutely loved it. It was so nice to be in 38 degree heat for a while!

Saturday we had sleet, rain, wind and snow and I heard this morning that with the wind chill it got down to -12 degrees. Brrrrr. Not much better today either.

Goals for today: 1) stick to my points 2) do my weights and aerobics class at the gym.

Wooha!

:twirly:

MINUS 12 degrees? Julia I would be moving to Bali… in fact it was 1ºC here when I woke up and I was seriously unimpressed about that.

I should have weighed in this morning, but there's no way I'm getting out of my warm pyjamas a minute before I have to when it's this cold - so I will do it tomorrow.

Im seriously having trouble getting out of bed in the morning .. My bedroom is in our extension and though it is brick it isnt double brick like the rest of the house .. and its a concrete slab where they rest is pine floorboards.. so its freezing .. it there .. We have floating floors in there but they are cold too . lol.. Leah is allergic to carpet so its a no go .

When i say trouble getting out of bed its becuase i enjoying the warmth not becuase im depressed lol.. the kids are coming in and climbing all over me in bed and playing in there with me.. lol there little hands and feet are like ice on my warm skin they thinks its great to make me scream.. lol..

Cameron turns the heater in the lounge room on when he gets up .. so they are not too cold.. and there part of the house is double brick.. too bad the heater is in the other end of the house to my room... but at least its near theres.

This week i have lost 0.0 pounds.. and im not happy JAN. i have been op and workign out .. but without my elliptical i have lost nothing.. im down 1 good crdio workout a day .. and its showing.. i usually do walking or aerobics in the morning , and the elliptical at night .. now i have the trampoline but its not as good as the elliptical.. im on it for less then half the time .. becuase my boobs can only bounce so much before they start hurting .. and then im doing weights , pushups and situps .. the tramp is great for those .. i can do the sit ups without hurting my back ..

So i spoke to hubby this morning and he told me to not pay the morgage this week and go and get the new elliptical instead.. :) im happy with that ..
Gen you have to look after your self :( please get you meds out and start taking them again..

Kel 1200 in sales for a party OMG .. that is alot ..

Ani im glad you are feeling better ..

amy you lost 0.0pounds - but did you also put on 0.0pounds??? if the answer is yes than :carrot: party is needed!
had work today but they stuffed around all morning so i went home! told them to call me when they get a computer for me - they were getting more and more stressed with me there so i decided to save them $20 per hour and come home - so now i am going to step away from the computer (and international ebay - i have bought some stupid things in the last 12 hours and paid ALOT in shipping) and go and finish something!!!!!
thinking i will surprise the family with some new fish, we have an evil snail that ate our other fish (the fish were bigger than this evil creature) and it also ate our other snail but i am going to clean out the tank and really take some responsibility for the fish and make sure everything in there has enough to eat so they dont go eating eachother!!! big step for me coz usually i have nothing to do with the fish in our life coz they die and i am sad but this time they wont die and jemima will love them.... this is the plan anyway

yes 1200 is HEAPS in sales so i am very happy and content when it comes to tupperware - if i get more parties that is great if i dont that is also great coz i need a break from everything - and every party i do now is a bonus and profit for me i dont owe tupperware anything so it is in MY control which is when i am most comfortable

gen can i pm you about the meds you are on??

Good luck with the fish Kel!

I weighed in last night and have lost a grand total of 200g in the last week. Certainly nowhere near what I had hoped to lose but at least it's 200g down, not up ;) and I'm sure that if I keep at it something fabulous will happen eventually.

Stuck to my points and had a great session at the gym yesterday so that was cool. Goals for today are to do the same.


:twirly:

Same for me Julia - lost 0.2kg and I'm happy to take that. I think it's harder to lose weight in winter; I have a theory that our bodies are more reluctant to let go of our fat stores in winter - could be completely wrong though :D.

In the last couple of weeks a few friends have commented on how much weight I have lost in the last few months. It's odd because since starting at Bunnings I've only lost about 2kg. But I have definitely gained muscle, so maybe my body shape has changed a little bit in the last few months.

Something embarrassing: I asked my best friend on Sunday to look at some strange lumps on my legs. She cracked up when she saw them, and said "That's muscle you idiot!" :o. Well - how was I to know? I'm used to shapeless fat, but it would seem the daily wearing of heavy steel caps, and the constant walking, lifting and moving is working its magic.

And I just need to say that getting up at 4am every morning to go to work in the cold and dark is disgusting!

AND… I don't want to mention this, but I must because I am starting to sabotage my weight loss. The other day I was shovelling mulch for my ex. When we finished she said she wanted to ask me something and said I might not like it, but that she really wanted my support. She then went on to say that she and her girlfriend are having a commitment ceremony and "I would really, really like you to come".

Pfft!

As If!!!

I wasn't NOT taking my meds, just being slack as with everything else. I put them right on the coffee table where I can't miss them in the morning. Thanks for your concern, everyone :hug:

I know how easy that is to do Gen! Good to hear that you've got them in a place you're less likely to forget them.

Ani that's so funny about your "strange lumps". Imagine if you'd gone to the doctor to see what it was!

That's a bit rough that your ex has asked you to go to her commitment ceremony. Eek!


:twirly:

Got home from work yesterday to find a package on my doorstep - it was an author's copy of the book I have contributed to. Who would have ever thought? Me a published writer :dizzy:? The book will be out next month, and it's a bit exciting.

I'm not eating as well as I could be or should be at the moment. It's really hard with this shift (6.30am - 2.30pm) because I have breakfast at 5.30, lunch at 10.30am and then I'm starving by mid-afternoon. I don't expect to lose weight this week because I'm eating too much, even though I am physically working pretty hard.

But we'll see! As long as I don't gain weight I'll be reasonably happy.

Congrats on being a published writer Ani :cp: that's very exciting news!

I can sympathise with your current battle with food. I was so hungry yesterday that I just couldn't stop eating! Admittedly not all of my food choices were great (I ate 2 chocolate bars but they're Fling bars which are only worth 1/2 a point each) but in general, I was just bloody hungry.

All up I was over my points allowance by about 7 points. I don't ever take into account any points that I earn by exercising so technically I'm within my week's allowance but still, I should be sticking to 20 points a day and I'm disappointed that I didn't do that yesterday.

Anyhoo, onwards and upwards. I did have a good session at the gym last night, ran for 30 minutes and walked for 10 minutes.

Goals for today: 1) STICK TO MY POINTS!!!!! 2) Do weights and 40 minutes cardio at the gym tonight.


:twirly:

Congrats Ani, that is very impressive!! How nice to see your name in print in book form :)

Today, I:
- ate breakfast (yay)
- took my tablets (yay)
- had 2 coffees and lots of water (yay)
- ate a "bad lunch" (boo)
- had my achilles MRI (yay)
- WENT TO THE GYM!!! (triple yay - first time in months!)
- ate a nice big salad, yoghurt and peach for dinner (yay me!)

Thanks for the kick up the bum, girls. It's only one day, but I have made the start, that was the hardest thing.

hey hey gen look at all your yays... that is too cool!!!
i should do a yay list, i am sure if i saw that i was doing a lot of yays i would not focus so much on the boos..... hmmmmmmmmmm
me - not happy jan - up 700grams to a VERY VERY bad place 89.9 yes NINE not cool - but weightloss not important to me right now.... but weight gain although not 'worrying' me is something i am going to HAVE to care about......

julia you are doing so so good....do you and ani maybe think you are both putting on muscle??? which is why ONLY 200gram loss??

amy how u doin?

woohoo go Gen .. im so pleased you are back on th wagon ith us :)

Ani.. it must be amazing to be published congratulations as for the ceremony.. hmmm not sure about that one ..

Julia losing weight already your such a great inspiration .. you had some time off didnt do to bad came back and got straight back with the programme.. your a machine :)

Kel your fish wil be fine :)

As for me .. i have been a bit off plan but not too bad food has been okish and exercise i havent done enough.(by this i mean good sweaty exercise... i did loads of walking). and not losing weight last week has put me in a place i dont want to be in.. i can see the scale moving in the wrong direction.. and i got pissed .. whined to my hubby who gave me permission to take the money and buy the elliptical.... so i did.. i paid for it this morning got the shop to assemble it and deliver it straight into my family room ready to use :) and took it for a test run..

Yes i know i bought the mini tramp but its just not the same my boobs cant handle all that bouncing .. lol not to say i wont use it i will.. but now i have and elliptical again..

My old elliptical was alot easier then this one .. i did 30 minutes and i think i left my butt cheeks on it ... as well as my calves.. they are burning .. Its a great new toy.. it has programmes on it that change the intesity as you go along ... one minutes im going reall easy the next im killing it hoping it will go back to easy and it does .. and then again.. lol .. very cool .. great workout ..

Im hoping im not too sore to get back on it tommorow..

hi kel.. posting at the same time there :) so why are you not caring about weightloss atm?? are you going into a maintance stage or you just dont give a S^*t??

I can understand about moving a bit back from the pressure disapointment etc .. but do you think its the best time to do this? when i stop trying i always gain weight.. this just proves to me im not ready to stop trying.. i havent figured the whole thing out enough to just maintain.. and alot of the time my weight los effort results in me just maintaining and not losing at all .. so .. i need to get more intune withme..

what i have learnt..
* Sugar is my enemy.. start eating it again.. and i want it more and more..
*salt makes me bloated..
*just becuase i have the calories left for a bad choice that bad choice will make me gain within cals or not.. lol ( yeah i suck)
* if i dont drink enough i eat more
* if i dont sleep enough i eat more
* if i dont sleep enough i feel like crap and dont care what i eat.. whatever is easiest ..
* i cant have crap in the house im a crap food binger i dont even have to like it ( if its bad and im ijn a mood ill eat it )
* i have to not eat after dinner or i put weight on, my night foods are usually from the above list ( crap in the house)
* if i dont workout i dont feel as good and my house gets messy too
* i cant sleep if my house is messy..
* if i dont look after myself i cant look after my kids they need to learn healthy habits healthy food and how to clean , cook and stay active. so they dont end up like me .

Amy that's great that you've learned so much about what does and doesn't work for you. It's hard to stick to all the time but being aware is a huge part of the battle.

Kel this may sound hokey, but when I'm feeling down I think of 10 things in my day that I'm thankful for before I go to bed. Sometimes it might be things like getting a good parking space, having the sun shine all day or things like that. I find that it's a good way of forcing myself to appreciate the little things and that makes me feel a little better.

As for me, I was right on track yesterday :carrot: stuck to my points and did my weights followed by another 40 minute run at the gym :cb:

Goals for today: 1) Stick to my points 2) go to the gym tonight and do my weights circuit followed by 20 minutes run.


:twirly:

Onya Gen :carrot:. I work on the premise that if I can reach 80% of my daily goals consistently I will lose weight - and it generally works.

Amy I bet you're relieved you have that elliptical. It might help you to feel like you are back on track.

Speaking of on-track, Kel do you have a set of goals in your head? The only thing that is going to work is if you decide it is YOUR responsibility to make healthy choices - and work to a plan. You don't suck - and I don't think it's useful to be so negative about yourself all the time.

Julia I second what Amy said about your motivation and consistency!

I'm suffering from lack of sleep. Every day this week I have been up at 4am, and the earliest I've managed to get to sleep at night is 10.30pm. There's not much chance of weight loss when I can't adequately rest my body, but one more day and I can get back to a normal sleeping pattern (sort of) for a week at least.

Today's goals are:

• Eat no more than 1600 calories;

• DRINK some water;

• Get plenty of exercise at work!

Hope you get some good sleep time in this weekend Ani.

I had an okay day yesterday. Was 5 points over my allowance but again, when I factor in all the exercise I've been doing I'm okay. Went to the gym and did my weights circuit followed by 20 minutes of walk/run intervals and a 20 minute walk.

Going out for dinner with work tonight to a Chinese restaurant so will try to keep my points low during the day to cover what I intend to eat tonight!

Goals for the weekend are to write down everything I eat and stick as close as possible to my normal eating patterns.

Have a great weekend everyone :D


:twirly:

Eight more hours to work and then it's the weekend - woo hoo! This week has been difficult for eating - weird work hours will do that. I haven't even looked at next week's roster yet, but I'm fairly sure I have more civilised hours to work.

My body is protesting my poor food choices, so I need to get it back on track. Tomorrow I'm going to do a big 'cook up' and freeze my meals for next week, so that way I can make life easier for myself.

I really can't wait for the weekend!

yo yo
will you all stop being so right!!! hehehehe
thanks heaps
it is not that i dont care or it is not that i dont give a shi**t i think it is that i have other things on my mind at the moment i guess......

i got my fish finally, jemima had conjunctivitis and had to come home on the day i was going to get the fish....... but i got them and thier names are Cybill and Moose which reminds me i best go feed them
i bought some cream/cottage cheese (i cant remember which one i bought) and plan to have that and avocado and tomato on toast for brekky, that was my fave weight watchers brekky years ago.... but they had grainyer bread which i must buy

the fruit and vege place sent me a group certificate which says they paid me for the day i worked but i never went back to get the pay SO i am going to ring them and ask if i can go and get the cash..... that is NOT going to be fun but if i do it then i have at least a hundred extra bucks in my pocket which would pay for a manicure and pedicure or something nice like that so i will keep thinking that when i am awkwardly talking to the guy.... ho hum

today is my first counselling appointment with someone the awesome doc referred me to - gosh i like awesome doc he knows me so well it is scary so HOPEFULLY he has finely selected this counseller knowing me and her will click.....

am up and down and have troubles getting out of bed somedays but other days no troubles at all - today is a no troubles at all day and i will eat something healthy for lunch, yesterday i was almost determined not too... for no real reason at all

today i am buying jemima (and maybe me) a hoola hoop and a colouring book for jem and i also plan to tidy more of the house - amy you and me are a like that cluttered house makes everything worse.....

ok this morning i am offically pissed.. i have been good all gosh darned with sprinkles on top week and for what... to gain 5 ****ing pounds.. OMG i could scream.. fine i had 2 weeks without a decent workout. i was still doing aerobics and the trampoline though and walking i did about 900 minutes of exercise last week . i stuck to my calories.. why the **** am i now 272 again.. is this the stupid number my body wants to be.??? i just dont know.. why i bother.. I track my food i exercise and for what to gain weight.. what the **** is wrong with my stupid body.. arrghh .. i tell you what this better be some freak water weight or something or im just gonna quit... why bother if im gonna gain and loose the same 5 pounds.. i have done this since febuary.. i have dropped my cals i do heaps of exercise and i drop to 267 for a week then go back up to the same ****ed up weight.. i am so angry right now..

I was talking to a nurse at work about weight loss, and she gave me details of the study run at my center that she's in. It compares a low-sodium, restricted-calorie diet with a normal sodium, restricted-calorie diet. Sounds like you have to attend a weekly meeting and get weighed in like weight watchers (and they give you a hard time if you don't lose weight, because it screws up their data!!). You also have to get some BP and blood tests, I think a CT scan at some point and some urine sodium tests.

Whadda y'all think? I think if I went to all that trouble to enrol in the study, I might make m ore of an effort. But then again, the low sodium, measuring calories thing sounds like a pain in the arse...???????????????

gen yes yes yes do it!
i think it is just what you need - something different to kickstart you on the way to weightloss success

amy
i know exactly how you feel - DONT stop doing what you are doing - next week the result will be different i almost promise you!

counsellor was ok but i dont love her - i kinda wanted to really like the person but not to be, she wants to see me next week - we shall see - she also said she reckons i have depression and not anxiety or a bit of both - delightful.

im over it.. im done that is it no more for me.

hehe did i trick ya.. i have got over my tantrum.. i put myself in the corner facing the wall and thought about what i had done wrong .. lol


so i decided part of the problem had to be becuase i have been constipated for aout a week .. so I ate fruit and veg all day .. to shift it..
strawberries and and large apple for breaky , banana carrot and homemade burger ( whish is a small amount of lean beef mince with loads of cabbage, carrot and sweet potota grated then combined with egg and wheat germ i made them for dinner last night) for lunch for tea i had salmon and more raw veg, broccoli ,cauliflower, carrot,tomato, cucumber.. so i have pooped more today then i had the entire week previous and im actually feeling pretty good now.. .. my cals were 1630.. today

and i have done 120minutes walking 10 minuites pushups 30 minutes elliptical and cleared out cleaned and restacked my kitchen cupboards and taking th kids ten pin bowling.. lol .

i have had a big whine on the calorie counters forum and they sugeested trying 40-30-30 for carbs, fat and protien so that is what im gonna try next to see if i can get this fat off my body..

im willing to try everything within healthy regions to loose this weight

You had me worried there Amy! Glad to hear that you're determined to stick with it.

Kel I must admit that I have been thinking that it sounds more like you have depression than anxiety. Don't be too scared of a correct diagnosis. Once you know what is wrong then you can fix it!

I can't begin to tell you how much better my life is since I was diagnosed with depression last year.

Keep fighting mate. Keep seeing the doctor and the counsellor and you will get through this :hug:

I had a lovely dinner out with my workmates last night and then went to see the movie Hancock which was okay but nowhere near as good as I thought it would be.

Unfortunatley I went over my points sooo badly I rekon maybe by about 10 to 15 points :eek: not good! Had popcorn at the movies which tipped me over the edge as far as bad food for the night is concerned.

So to atone for my sins, I will go to the gym either this afternoon or tomorrow and try to burn off a few calories.

Goal for today and tomorrow: 1)stick to my points. 2)stick to my normal eating times. 3) write down everything that I eat.


:twirly:

I've just had NINE luxurious hours of sleep, and now have two days off work - woo hoo!!! Next week will be all 9.30-5.30pm, so I might be able to have a decent routine by then as well.

Amy I'm glad to see you determined. I've had times like that, where I've jumped on the scale and had a tantrum afterwards, but it's really important to not allow the scale to become our master. Every decision we make, whether it's about food, exercise or anything related to a healthier way of life will influence the eventual outcome of our weight loss journey.

Kel it's important that you get the right diagnosis so you can work on fixing it. I've had the feeling that things have been out of balance for you ever since you came back from holidays, and it's great that you're seeing a counsellor and heading in the right direction.

Julia I'm inspired by your determination - you go girl :carrot:

Gen I reckon you should have a go - you just never know if it might be the momentum for you to get things back on track, and that's something I would really love to see happen.

This week has been a shocker for me - both with food and water - but I'm going to make a plan today, and I'm getting straight back to counting my calories… starting NOW!

yeah im not quiting.. lol.. and im 268 this morning.. its a terrible thought but i think .. i had 4 lbs worth of poop in my system.. no wonder i was feeling crappy.. so im gonna stick to this fruit thing.. from now on.. fruit only in the morning.. to help clear out the works.. i felt so good yesterday afternoon and this morning.. you know how i always fely sick in the morning.. not today.. so i really think the fruit.. which i normally lack.. has made a big difference for me..

I eat alot more veg then fruit normally.. i have tomato most days the occasional banana maybe one apple a week.. and that is usally it.. the rest is veg.. so im eating alot more now.. hopefully that will do me the world of good. breakfast yesterday and today was an apple and half a punnet of strawberries.. yum.. . John hates it when i buy strawberries becuase they are expensive.. but too bad.. lol.. im gonna buy them..

I got up and did 30 minutes on the elliptical doing the hiit programme so im feeling fantastic..

ani enjoy your days off .. and next weeks schedule looks alot kinda for you..

Kel i agree with julia and ani.. and you know what.. the best thig you can do for your mood is get some exercise.. just a walk.. would do.. you'll feel better.. get into the habit of some sort of exercise ( whatsever you enjoy and can do most days) nand you'll soon be feeling better about everything..

Kel, I have to agree on exercise. When I was really depressed, the psychologist said to just aim to get out for 5 mins once or twice a day. Once you get out, you usually decide to keep going for 5 more minutes.... and it does make you feel better.

TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY
i was about to hop on here and tell amy what for!!! coz all i got on my email (yes i got an email update!!) was amy - thats it i am quitting so i didnt have time to hop on the last couple of days but had been thinking about it big time for when i did and there you go tricking us
pretty inspirational though the way you keep going and get yourself out of trouble, i just KNEW that the way you'd been going lately there had to be a reason for putting on weight - you've been doing really well

thanks heaps for all the support with the doctor stuff everyone
you are all right
correct diagnosis yes will help BUT this chick i saw was too excited that SHE had diagosed that or that SHE could save me money or that SHE had these great ideas - i really wasnt that excited for HER - do you know what i mean??
example - i mentioned how the other night i got so so so so so frustrated and upset coz jem was disturbing me watching law and order and woke up in "my time" at about 10.30 i honestly didnt want to go into her room for two reasons - one coz i would miss the show and two coz i would shake her to shut her up (i didnt) anyway this chick was like 'you should tape it' ok so i WAS taping it but the point wasnt that i was going to miss my show it was that i honestly couldnt cope with jem making noise right then..... know what i mean?
anyway awesome doc today gave me referral to someone else so we will see how that goes but inthe mean time i am making heaps of progress kicking myself in the butt - just a pity i have put weightloss on the low priority list while i get my head and my house up to scratch BUT the dumbchick shrink said that she starts with the physical side of things coz if u are not eating or sleeping or exercising well then nothing will be good - and that a good point!

have an awesome sunday everyone

lmao kel i cant believe it sent you that email and none of the others... that is great... im killing myself laughing here..

Im going fine now back down to 267 and very happy to be here..

I have been doing my elliptical first thing in the morning.. and that has been good up untill this morning anyway.. Its the third early morning workout for me and i was stuggling.. I ignored it and kept going.. thinking the first morning i did it was a little hard too.. but yesterday moniong was easy.. But th mornig i got to 15 minutes .. and had to stop.. i got all light headed and dizzy.. so i got off it had a glass of oj and some water.. rested for 20 minutes then did the other 15 minutes.. but at a slower pace..

I think i had a few things working againest me this am..
1 i worked out for 30 minutes last night after tea so had depleted my stores of nutrients.. so too low blood sugar level
2 im getting a cold and have alot of chest congestion.. so less oxygen
3 i think i might have been a bit dehydarted becuase of all this mucous.

I checked my heart rate and to get it where i want it 135 bpm .. i had to go 4 k/h slower then i usually do.. so thats what i did .. so instead of my usually 9.5 kms in 30 minutes.. i think i got maybe 7 kms...

Im finding it interesting how much my heart rate can change when sick ( not that i feel bad at all really just a little stuffy).. so i now know to take it easier when im not 100% .

kel i like the quacks opinion on food sleeo and exercise.. even though her other stuff is crap.. lol.. as far as getting annoyed at distrubed me time... umm thats normal.. all us parents gets annoyed with that.. i would let my horrors cry till the add break.. we shouldnt have to tape everything we watch.. lol.. honestly rhough if your getting angry enough you feel like you could shake her.. just leave her to make her noise and hopefully she will go back off on her.. own.. maybe its time.. to let her cry it out and learn how to self settle? she defiantly old enough.. and that will make it easier on you.. what do you think?

I had a terrible day.
i was dizzy with my workout..
Then i got tired at midday and went and lyed down to watch tv and fell asleep.
Then Leah woke me up screaming her head off. she was in pain but couldnt tell me where.. i gave her some panadol.. and she fell asleep
when she woke she was hot as **** and in agony.. she was yelling crying and screaming all at once..
I took her to the doctor.. she has an ear infection.. so they gave me antibiotics to give her..
so now im worries aout her having them since she is allergic to so many chemicals.. and john inst here if anything goes wrong..
when we got home i had a call from john on of his work colleges.. hung himself at the refinary last night he jumped off the jetty with a rope around his neck. he was upset..
We tryed to chat on the net but his connection was hitty and we both got very frustrated becuase it wasn't working.. The kids got upset becuase they wanted to talk to daddy and couldn't
after they went to bed.. ( cameron was crying becuase gladiators wasn't on tonight .. omg someone please shoot me) JOhn rang me on the mobile.. his boss has said he cant come home one week earlier in september for his kids birthdays.. Leahs is the 14th and Cameron is the 23rd.. we were planning having the party on the 20th for the both of them like we always do JOhn would come home on the 18th.. and we planned to do Leahs birthday on the 19th.. ( she doesnt understand dates yet so could be done easily.. ) and hen Cameron birthday on his day the 23rd and john would leave again on the 26th.. Cameron understands dates.. and as a kid i couldnt think of anything more heart breaking then not having your daddy home for your 8th birthday..

They say they are a family freindly company.. surely they have kids or remember being kids ... and ralise how important this is.. to my son.. We will not let them break Camerons heart.. John will be hoe one way or another.. but.. He had said he doesnt want to go back to town money.. Im so sick of living the life of a single mother.. and my relationship with my husband is faiding away.. he has told me he feels like a single man.. up there.. and he wants to go somewhere else and do this.. he is now talkign about roxby downs.. which is only 1 hour flight from aedliade but.. he will stiull be away .. ill still be alone.. the kids will still miss him..

We have all had enough but John just wants the money.. Im so upset.. i just want my life back.. i want a hubby at my side.. what good is money if your not happy?.. I wantnhim to work here.. after septmeber i plan on wroming too.. while leah is in kindy.. so it will be easier then before.. our morgage is now below 100k im sure we can manage.. now ..

so yeah i have spent most of the night crying.. i even got out the damn nutella and had a drink of baileys even though my calories are done for the day.. ok i had one heaped tesppon before making myself cry again
putting it away and scrubbing my floors on my hands and knees instead.. i have almost replaced emotinal eating with emotional cleaning... lol almost... lol.. in the past that jar would be gone.. so one spoon as heaped as it was is ok i suppose.. ..

ok i have vented.. i sick.. of being such a pain in the butt to you guys.. i hope things get better for all of us i really do.. and yes feel good know i have typed it all out.. thanks for listening

dudette!!!!!!!! that is full on!!!!!!
it is so hard when it comes to money... there is no easy answer
could john take a break for a year or so and then go back to the big money away from home when the kids are older??

and jemima had to learn to self settle about 7 months ago when i could no longer take cuddling her to sleep.... she does wait til the ad break - kinda - but the point is i get so so so so so so frustrated , stupidly so..... but yes i am starting to realise how normal it is and that the unrealistic expectations i put on myself and stuff is just that UNREALISTIC so i am feeling heaps better about the stuff i am getting done and therefore getting more done.... so feeling great
today was a really good day - yesterday morning not so good but today rocked

amy - how often does john come home??? it is so good that no matter what you are there for him, it must be so hard for them when one of their mates takes their own life, they would live so closely it would be like losing a family member....

Yeah i think thats why i got so emotional.. on top of everything else hi losing someone one he is so alone is awful.. as for how often he goes away he started this job in febuary .. and he works 4 weeks comes home for a week and then works 4 week again.. the one week off. so i have seen my hubby for a toatl of 5 weeks in the last 6 months.. Im alone.. and when he is home it takes him 3 days to get used to being with poeple again.. without getting to edgy.. ( he is alone in a room the size of a bathroom drinking alone from 4 pm til bed most nights the odd night he goes out and gets drunk instead.. he has his laptop that the connectio has been crap and he can harldy use right now and beer and movies that is it..) then we have 2 good days and the last 2 days he is anxious about getting back to work.. and then he leaves.. again.. so we get a total of 2 good days with him... a month..
last visit he was miserable the whole visit.. but all he can see is the $$$

I want me life back.. i want my hubby in bed with me.. i want to no longer se alone and lonely .. i want Cameron school work to go back up to how well he was doing before daddy left.. i wont the sparkle to be back in his eye becuase he is happy.. Cameron now has this sad withdrawn puppy dog face most of the time.. we are not happy.. isnt that enough for him to come home?.. arrgh

Gosh Amy it sounds like you're going through a pretty rough time at the moment. I hope that you can work everything out and that John can come home for the kids birthdays. Hang in there mate :hug:

Kel you're sounding a bit brighter mate. Keep plugging away and don't feel bad for knowing that you need your own time and space.

I had a ***** of a weekend. Parked illegally on Saturday afternoon for a whole 3 minutes (literally, walked across the street, picked something up from a shop, walked back) and had to pay some scumbag $80 not to clamp my car :mad: That was the majority of the money I had set aside to go visit my sister in Wellington next weekend so I was really upset. Went home and cried and cried. Felt so sorry for myself that I had fish n chips for dinner and then felt fat and sick for doing that :(

Last night I went to do my laundry and locked myself out of my house. Had to knock on doors till I found someone with a phone so I could ring mum to bring me my spare key. I'd just come from her house having eaten a stodgy roast meal that would have put me way over my daily points allowance :(

Whacked my elbow really hard on the wall while I waited. My tv is on the blink, keeps going really loud and I have to thump it to get it working right again so I expect it’s going to go kaput soon. This morning I had to go to family planning for a smear and apparently my cervix was hiding so they had to bring in a search party to find the damn thing.

Gah!

I’m glad it’s Monday and I’m (hopefully) safe at work now.

So between dinner with work on Friday night, fish n chips on Saturday night and roast dinner at mum's last night I had a spectacularly unsuccessful weekend in terms of my diet.

I did go to the gym on Sunday and weighed in down 1.8kg at 84.9kg but that was on an empty stomach and it'll take a lot to make that stick until next week's weigh in given the crap I ate over the past few days.

Goals for today: 1) Stick to my points. 2) Do weights and aerobics class at the gym tonight.


:twirly:

Amy is there some way you can sit John down and tell him that money is nothing compared to what it's costing you and the kids? Every time he goes away it's just going to get worse, and you deserve much better than that.

Julia your weekend was SO bad it was almost funny. The main reason I say that is it sounds a lot like mine - my washing machine spectacularly died (it's only 18 months old) - in the middle of a load. So I think I ate the equivalent of a load of washing in junk :o.

Now there are no excuses - I either want to lose this weight or I don't. So it's right back on plan today and I'm going to start tracking calories and write everything down. The one good thing I did on the weekend was cook up a big healthy concoction and freeze it, so I have no excuses there… I have something healthy to eat when I come home from work all week.

I'll weigh in tomorrow and hopefully be in the right mindset to keep losing weight by then.

LMao.. omg it was the weekend of spectacular crapola.. huh.. ani your machine should still be under warrenty most machine have a 2 year.. my last one died .. at 26 months.. i was screwed lol but 18 your good to go..

Julia im sorry but it kinda is funny i agree with ani.. its the sort of thing i would do.. the parking meter wasnt funny but the keys.. OMG i cant tell you how many times me and the kids have sat on the front step waiting for my knight in shining armour to eith iopen of breakin to my house.. lol .. John will climb through the roof man hole if we did it together.. I have had the neighbours son .. slighty open our sliding door ( about and inch).. it had a bad lock.. and get a fishing rod and fish my keys off the bench.. lol thenof course ive locked then in the car and had to ring the raa.. my hubby says i should wear then round my neck so i dont loose them.. im hopeless.

as for me.. im ok.. just had to have cry after a super crap day.. its actually th first time i have cryed since he started this in feb .. so it was just the combination of spectacular crap.. im actully feeling good this morning.. becuase im down 800grams from friday :) despite my crap attack last night ..

Hey Amy - I just checked and my washing machine is TWO years and ONE week old!