take it from someone who has lost over 100lbs so far and still has a long way to go, the comments don't ever stop. Jealousy is an ugly thing and that plays a big part in it along with the fact that a fat person is considered weak and unfortunately people love to make that point to us. People like that want to feel superior and a fat person just by the reason they are fat are considered inferior so the ones slinging the questions feel they have lost that superiority edge? Do you see that? It depends on how much "trouble" you want to get into. If you don't want to rock the boat, then any "weight" comments or questions should be answered with a firm, "You know, I don't want to talk about my weight all the time, I am happy as I am." PERIOD! If you want to get a littler heavier handed, (which is my approach ) You can ask them, why they are always asking, why do you care, even snottier, you are not a doctor and don't have any idea what is healthy for ME! I have to tell you even though my starting weight was way over 400 lbs I would not allow ANYONE ever to talk down to me. It makes me sick to see this country continually focus on what a person looks like. Fat discrimination has nothing to do with health but all with looks and why people that are fat are considered ugly really disturbs me and always has. I am losing weight for my health not because of fat prejudice. So sweety, take it from me, just hold you head up and be proud of the accomplishment you made and don't let anyone convince you otherwise!
I think it is important to note that there are people out there that are too thin and have very poor and unhealthy eating habits. I am constantly trying to get my stepmom to eat something when they come for a visit to my house because she is painfully thin and eats next to nothing. It is not because I am jealous or catty, it is out of fear for her health and pity. Her hair falls out in great quantity (it fills the sink and shower drain) and she is always (and I mean always) ill with something or another. She looks ravaged, starved, shrunken and frail. My father will not hug her if she gains five pounds. Let alone anything else, if you get my meaning. He wants her stick thin, and he doesn't care if it destroys her to be so. He doesn't care about ideal weight, bone density, or lean muscle mass. When she eats she watches him, and I swear it is for signs of disfavor, like she is waiting for him to tell her to stop. If you put food in front of her she looks at it like it is a bomb about to go off. All this is in front of mixed company, what are her eating habits when she is in her home? I would not allow an animal to be treated the way she is treated, the way she allows herself to be treated, so I try to help her the only way I feel I can.
So, anyway, I just wanted to point out to anybody who might read this and feel that ALL people who are concerned with another's weight are spiteful and jealous...it's not true. Sometimes people can be right.
StarPrincess...get in line, his shins are the mental target of many women I know! You can imagine how distressing it was for him to have a fat daughter! Oy, my poor father!
One thing that will chafe as I lose more weight is the approval I will get from him. Is that twisted, or what?
Mojo,
I'm so sorry about the situation wioth your Dad ..ARGH!!!!
He actually perpetuates the very thing were talking about, beleive it or not. He is JUDGING her based on what she eats and doesn't eat. I don't think anyone would confuse your genuine concern in this case as having any comparison to the spiteful comments we were referring to. I would like to think we all know the differance between genuine concern and comments that are clearly intended to hurt someone or put them on the defensive.
I wish you the best of luck with your stepmom. Being malnourished and underweight is just as devestating to your health (if not more so) than being overweight.
I will keep her in my prayers. Wish I had some advice....
XOXO
L2L
abroad & gma- thank you, and good luck to you guys as well!
Mojo-that's so terrible & sad about your stepmom . I see that you care very much about what is happening & are doing what you can to try & help. However, I don't think trying to get someone to eat is any more helpful than trying to get someone to not eat. Your stepmoms issues sound like they go way beyond food (don't all of ours, though?). By making the issue about food, the symptom is being addressed, not the cause, do you know what I mean? Being in a social situation where people are trying to get her to eat may be causing her a great deal of anxiety-which may make her feel even worse. I certainly hope she figures things out & starts to take care of herself, though!
Your stepmom needs some professional help NOW! If she won't listen to you, does she have some biological children who can help her? Her biggest issue may be WHY does she has such low esteem that she allows someone else to rule her very survival!
years ago I lost 75lbs and one of my coworkers kept telling me I looked "Sick"...I never let on but it crushed me, I was running working out and feeling very good...well then my 40's came on and I have gained 20lbs again. Her comment "you look so healthy" I feel like crap!.....so I am going to make myself "look sick" because I never felt better! The heck with those comments ....most people will be kind and supportive, the ones who are not are having issues themselves...good luck
Thank you everyone for your concern for my stepmother. You are right when you say she has severe emotional problems, they are profound. She is a weak and needy person, and that is exactly what my father looks for in a woman (my own mother is weak and needy). She is ill with a variety of diseases and is in a Dr.'s office very often, I do not know if she has ever been told by one that she should improver her nutrition, but I fear it would do no good anyway.
I (along with my Grandmother) tell her in a variety of ways that she should not let my father treat her the way he does. We try to empower her as a woman, but it is like water off of a duck's back. My father is extremely controlling and deeply critical of those around him, and I would not speak to him for 10 years because of it. It was the best thing I ever did, because he respects my boundaries now and also me as a person...I will not take his crap and like any bully, once you stand up to them they lose their bluster. But she believes he is perfectly ready to leave her, and so she lives under his rule. There is so much more to the story, but suffice it to say they have very unhealthy (emotionally and physically) lives. They have had family therapy, a variety of meds....it has not worked and frankly, I have a hard time relating to them when they come for a visit, because they are such shallow people. It is a sad situation.
) You can ask them, why they are always asking, why do you care, even snottier, you are not a doctor and don't have any idea what is healthy for ME! I have to tell you even though my starting weight was way over 400 lbs I would not allow ANYONE ever to talk down to me. It makes me sick to see this country continually focus on what a person looks like. Fat discrimination has nothing to do with health but all with looks and why people that are fat are considered ugly really disturbs me and always has. I am losing weight for my health not because of fat prejudice. So sweety, take it from me, just hold you head up and be proud of the accomplishment you made and don't let anyone convince you otherwise!
You can imagine how distressing it was for him to have a fat daughter! Oy, my poor father! 
. I see that you care very much about what is happening & are doing what you can to try & help. However, I don't think trying to get someone to eat is any more helpful than trying to get someone to not eat. Your stepmoms issues sound like they go way beyond food (don't all of ours, though?). By making the issue about food, the symptom is being addressed, not the cause, do you know what I mean? Being in a social situation where people are trying to get her to eat may be causing her a great deal of anxiety-which may make her feel even worse. I certainly hope she figures things out & starts to take care of herself, though!
