[Veneficae]

Why would I suddenly feel so insecure in my relationship? I've been with my boyfriend for a year and he's just amazing. I was fat when we got together, and I'm still fat now. He's never once said anything about my weight. He's never said or done anything to make me feel bad or self conscious or ugly. I truly feel like he loves me the way I am, but for some reason I can't shake the feeling that he's going to leave me for being fat.

This just started in the past few weeks. I've gained 40-50 pounds since we got together, but I really don't look that different. I'm still wearing the same clothes. Maybe it's my own feelings about myself.. I don't know. I don't want to drive him away because I can't handle my own feelings.

[Brandis]

You need to take a step back and realize that this is something that just might destroy your relationship. That is, if you don't do something about it. It seems like you need to have a serious talk with your boyfriend. You have to let him know that you are feeling insecure. If you try to hold it all in, it will show in your ability to communicate with and be intimate with your boyfriend. If you share this with him, it will make you two closer. And when you decide to embark on your weight loss plan, he will be on board because he will know how important it is to you. Don't go it alone. I have tried the same thing with my husband over the years. It only makes it worse. Just be open and honest, and I'm sure you will be fine.

[NorCalMommy]

I'm feeling the same way, although my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6 years. I've gained about 20 pounds in that time (also had a baby), but I think it's really that I just feel worse about myself and I'm projecting that on him?

[KerriLeah]

I think the insecurity is the biggest factor here. And we all go through it. You should definitely, as others said, definitely talk to him about it. Let him reassure you. He's never said anything to make you feel this way, and if he hasn't said it, he probably hasn't indicated in any other way that he feels the way you think he does. He loves you! I'm sure he would love to help you on your journey. And who knows, maybe join you in it? Everyone needs to be healthier and no one is perfect in the nutritional intake and physical workout. Push each other to be better and grow closer together.